Please don't kill me. I'm making an OC Shrub session. It's more for my peace of mind than for your entertainment, but I still appreciate constructive criticism!

I do not own Homestuck or anything related to it. Nor do I own anything referenced in this fic. The OCs, however, are mine. Don't steal them. Or else.

Your faithful Writer,

-Mobi

EDIT;; I have recently changed the Troll's signs to actually be astronomical symbols. If you want to know what they look like, there's a link to the website I used to choose the signs on the bottom of my profile.

Oh, look! Today is the thirteenth day of the third perigee, and it is this young troll's wriggling day. On this fateful date, he will become six sweeps old, and only today will be be named.

What will this Troll's name be?

Uglyface Assbutt

Nice try, Smartass!

Corvus Pinnar

Your name is CORVUS PINNAR. You are a male troll of six sweeps. Your HORNS are short, very pointy, and curve inwards a bit, making them look a bit like those found on the head of a cartoon hellbeast. Your sign is Serpens Caput. You have an almost unhealthy obsession with THE COLOR BLACK, along with ANYTHING WITH FEATHERS. You also have a strong fondness for POISONOUS HISSBEASTS. You consider yourself RUGGED, DARING, and AGILE, but you really aren't any of those due to your left leg being lame. You walk with a LIMP, and often use a CRUTCH. Your average outfit is an OLIVE SHIRT with your sign printed in BLACK and a pair of NORMAL GREY SLACKS. Your SHOES are more like SOCKS WITH PADS than anything else. Your hair is SHORT and RAGGED, and laced with some of your CUSTODIAN'S FEATHERS.

Your HIVE is fairly roomy and is located in the center of a FOREST. You had originally wanted it to be HIGH IN THE TREES, but due to the fact a TREEHIVE being VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE to be reached by a Troll with a MILDLY USELESS LIMB, your hive is on the ground. It is structured as a CAVE. The inside of your CAVE HIVE contains many BLOCKS, with one dedicated entirely to BOOKS AND SUCH, and another containing a laboratory in which you create DEADLY POISONS to coat your weapons with, along with NOT AS DEADLY CONCOCTIONS. You are a HUNTER. Many of the blocks contain RUGS and OTHER THINGS made from the pelts of your FALLEN PREY, and many WINGED HISSBEAST PLUSHIES, also commonly known as FANGMATES, are scattered around your HIVE.

Your custodian is a LARGE WINGBEAST named Roberto. Roberto is FRIENDLY, if a bit SKITTISH, and often FLIES YOU AROUND on his back in an act of pity. You also often go HUNTING with your custodian, who was the one who originally taught you THE GREAT ART OF ARIAL ATTACK.

You are also not very SOCIAL, and only really chat with trolls who used the RANDOM CHAT FUNCTION on TROLIAN. You would be a LONER among LONERS. You prefer the company of NATURE than other trolls. You also enjoy curling up with a GOOD BOOK. You are fond of the classics, such as THE ADVENTURES OF TROLLOCK HOLMES and THE ALTERNIAN DAYS, but you are also willing to give more recent novels a chance, like TROLL ERAGON and the WARRIOR MEOWBEASTS series by Troll Erin Hunter. You have also read THE CULLING GAMES, but disliked it. You are simply happy that FICTION NOVELS are a much newer concept than the movies, or else the titles would be about as long as the content, and the entire title would basically be a giant SPOILER, and you HATE SPOILERS almost as much as you hated those stupid RAINBOW DRINKER NOVELS. You also have a weakness for CONSPIRACY THEORY NOVELS.

You speak with a \¡tt\e b¡+ of a ra$p, and you type in black. Everyone (including you) say that your blood color is Olive, but they can't prove anything. Your strife specibus is bladekind, and you use your trusty throwing knives at a distance and your two battle daggers while in close range. You are skilled in throwing projectiles, but you are not very strong. You have a TRICKSTER MODUS, in which you must answer a riddle in order to retrieve an item; the bigger the object, the harder the riddle. Your trolling handle is anonymousNightingale.

Corvus: Retrieve arms from magic chest.

This is stupid. Not only are your arms firmly attached to your shoulders, but there is no magic chest in sight! You do, however, have an enchanted sack in your Sylladex.

Corvus: Retrieve enchanted sack.

It is the beginning of eternity

And the end of time and space

The beginning of the end

And the end of every place.

What is it?

The letter e, obviously. The rhyming ones are always the easiest.

Your enchanted sack appears and lands with a plop on the messy floor of your hive. It is made from the pelt of a giant, magical hoofbeast you had once spent several months hunting with the help of Roberto, your trusty lusus. It has a magically extended inside, so it is bigger on the inside, and what is put in can only be retrieved by its owner. You keep many of your valuables in here, but it still does not replace Captchaloguing, due to its highly limited capacity and simply because it is really heavy while your Sylladex is metaphysical, and therefore weightless.

Corvus: Retrieve valuables from sack.

You wouldn't dare! There could be thieves and robbers around. Plus, all of the nutbeasts around your hive have an affinity to shiny things. So best to keep your stuff safe. In fact, simply having this sack out is compromising their position.

Back to the Sylladex it goes, then!

Corvus: Glub like a fish and piss on the nearest Fangmate.

This is the stupidest thing you have ever considered doing, by far! You have no reason to make a noise even remotely resembling an aquatic organism, nor would it be wise to relieve yourself on one of your precious Fangmates. Perhaps you have finally lost it. You should go hunting, it might just help you to think clearer.

Corvus: Ready your knives.

You retrieve your TRUSTY THROWING KNIVES from your strife specibus and attempt to take a vial of poison from your Sylladex.

What is so delicate that it is broken when you call it by name?

This one's really simple. Silence.

The glass vial appears out of nowhere, and you catch it before it hits the ground.

You coat your blades with the substance and quickly return the knives to your strife specibus. You wouldn't want to nick yourself on those.

Corvus: Call your custodian.

You let out a high-pitched screech, and a swoosh indicates Roberto's arrival. You crutch over to the entrance of your hive, where your loyal wingbeast of prey lusus waits patiently.

You lean the crutch on the side of your hive and clamber atop of Roberto's back. Your custodian caws mightily before taking in the air.

During the hunt, due to your mad teamwork skills, you manage to take down a fairly large wild hoofbeast from above with your poisoned throwing knives. Your lusus carries the carcass back in his claws while you sit triumphantly on his back. Roberto is your best friend ever.

Roberto brings both you and the hoofbeast back to your hive, and the intelligent custodian flies to his nest in a nearby tree in order to keep watch.

You now hear a ringing noise coming from your husktop.

Corvus: Answer the troll.

surrealisticDreamer [SD] began trolling anonymousNightingale [AN] at 23:12

SD: he((o There!

AN: gree+¡ng$, $+ranger.

AN: ¡f ¡ may be $o bo/d +o a$k, why have you cho$en +o con+ac+ me?

AN: ¡ don'+ mean +o be rude,

AN: bu+ ¡ am $¡mp/y cur¡ou$ of your mot¡ve$

SD: Don't worry About it 8)

AN: $o

AN: are you go¡ng +o exp/a¡n

AN: or mus+ ¡ con+¡nue gue$$¡ng?

SD: of Course i'(( Exp(ain, si((y!

SD: We((

SD: i Have this Friend

SD: And he Spends his Time making Games.

AN: ye$, and?

SD: he Recent(y programmed This one Game for The husktop

SD: It's called Sgrub

SD: and We need A bunch Of players In order To make Teams.

AN: $o a$ a $o/ut¡on, you decided +o a$k random +ro/$ you've never me+ before

SD: Yep, basically!

SD: so, Do you Want to Join? You'(( be On team Ruby, because That's my Team.

AN: erm

AN: $ure, ¡ gue$$.

SD: awesome!

SD: Btw, What's your Name? my Friend said This game Is going To take A lot Of teamwork, So we Might as Well get To know Each other! 8)

AN: my name ¡$ Corvu$.

AN: and who m¡gh+ you be?

SD: I'm stella 8)

SD: And you Should message My friend To tell Him you'(( Be on My team, So he'(( Send you A link For the Game.

SD: his Trolltag is wretchedNightmare.

AN: a/r¡gh+, +hen.

SD: Great! i'(( Tell him To expect You 8D

surrealisticDreamer [SD] ceased pestering anonymousNightingale [AN].

Your name is Corvus Pinnar, and you have no idea how much shit you have gotten into.