Naomi sighed as she walked to the corner store. She was trying to make an effort to be friendly to Ryuzaki but it wasn't very easy. So she decided to buy him some doughnuts, jam, in fact. She was to be truthful, disgusted by his jam consumption, but it made sense that he would like jam doughnuts.
As she walked towards Quarter Queen's house balancing the doughnuts in her hand she knocked on the door. She didn't hear an answer so she opened the door with her key and sighed when she found, once again, Ryuzaki was crawling on the floor.
"Why hello there, did you sleep well?" Ryuzaki didn't bother looking up. It was rather rude in Naomi's mind.
"Of course," her voice dripped sarcasm but Ryuzaki dismissed it.
"Very good," He looked up at her and opened his mouth only to close it when he saw the box she was carrying. "Misora, what are you carrying?"
He sounded genuinely curious and perhaps happy? It was a strange combination and it troubled Naomi.
"I brought some doughnuts. Would you like one?" She plastered a smile on her face and hopefully extended the box to him.
L walked forward and delicately took the box from her and walked to the table and sat down in his usual crouch. He opened the box and stared at the box with a look of complete confusion. Naomi sat across from him and after an awkward silence Naomi decided to speak up.
"Are you going to eat one?" she waited and pushed the box closer to Ryuzaki.
Ryuzaki remained silent and picked one up and dangled it between his thumb and finger, grimacing as the powdered sugar covered the front of his shirt. He sniffed it and took a cautious lick.
"What is this? I thought you said it was a doughnut." He sounded slightly hurt and he frowned.
Naomi sighed and picked one up. "It is a doughnut. The outside is powdered icing and the inside his jam in it. You've never had one?"
Ryuzaki's eyes seamed to light up when he heard the word jam and he promptly shoved the whole thing in his mouth. Naomi's eyes widened as it fit in his whole mouth. He smiled and chewed happily and as he finished he reached for another. Naomi's jaw dropped and she wordlessly handed the doughnut she was holding to Ryuzaki.
"Thank you very much."
He slowly started to lick off the sugar of the doughnut and then he bit into the end of the soggy mass which made to jam ooze out slowly. He violently squeezed the sodden chunk and smiled as jam oozed more quickly onto his hands which he proceeded to lick clean as he ate the rest of his doughnut.
"…" To put in simple terms Naomi was now truly sick.
"Excuse me Ryuzaki. I have to phone my client." She hastily pushed back her chair and almost sprinted for the bathroom.
When she got in the clean room she washed her hands and face. God, that was disgusting. Maybe more so than him eating jam straight out of the jar. She sat down on the floor of the bathroom for five minutes and closed her eyes. That memory needed repressing. She wiped her hands clean and strode out of the bathroom.
When she entered the kitchen she noticed that the doughnut box was empty and there were large jam, and sugar stains on the table. Ryuzaki was crawling on his hands and knees on the floor.
"Misora, if you would please clean up the mess I would be most grateful." He didn't look at her and he continued to stare fixatedly at the floor as if he was using a microscope.
Naomi sighed in annoyance. Did he stomp on the doughnuts? She grabbed a cloth and started to wipe down the table, all the while giving death glares at Ryuzaki
Five Minutes Earlier
Kya hahaha! Beyond Birthday picked up a doughnut and held it high above his head.
"I shall call you Lawliet bug. …How are you today? … Oh look he's flying whoosh! Oh! Look out! It's a windshield! SMACK!" BB squished the doughnut against the table and laughed delightedly as the jam squished in a satisfying manner.
"Oh! Look it's a Nate bug!" He picked up another doughnut and put it on the table. "There's a Mail, and Mihael bug!" he picked up the last two doughnuts and put them next to the Nate bug. He looked in confusion because they all looked the same so he took a bight out of the Mihael bug and made a tear in the Mail bug.
He picked up the doughnuts and started to play.
"Once upon a time there was a little Near bug. He lived in a building with Mail and Mihael bug. They were little but one day they went into the big world. They tried to become the successors to Lawliet bug who was recently squished. But one fateful day Mail bug was killed by… a gun." He took his finger and made it into a gun and pretended to shoot the doughnut. Then he crammed it into his mouth.
"Not too long after the Mihael bug died. He was squashed most horribly." Beyond picked up the doughnut and threw it against the table repetitively until it was a gooey pulp. Then he shoved it in his mouth.
"Then finally came the day when the Nate bug died."
He picked up the last doughnut and ripped it half, licking up the jam that dripped out of it. He then divided it up into little bits and ate it slowly.
"He was murdered by a Beyond bug… Kya hahahahah!"
Beyond Birthday got up and as he heard the bathroom door open he got on the floor.
Present time.
Beyond licked the last traces of jam from his lips and smiled.
"Ich bin ein Berliner."
A/N- I don't own Death Note or John F Kennedy. This actually came to me when I was eating a jelly doughnut.