Author's Note: Ohmyflippingoditsfinallyhere.

Okay, this fic has been in my Coming Soon section forever, and I hope the anticipation built up nicely. By the way, I spent a lot of time researching this blasted city in Pakistan, so you better appreciate it!

First chapter = Artemis's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own… Hey, look! I just spotted "The-b00k-was-better" on the copyright page of Artemis Fowl. Huh. Turns out I do own these books after all!

...

It was a chilly day in Skardu, Pakistan—sunny, but cool. The city park was not crowded. A fountain was playing merrily near the entrance to the park. Not a soul noticed the twelve-year-old boy, or the hunched old fisherman he was appraising, or the mammoth-sized man watching them intently—clearly they were just western tourists.

"How did you find me?" said Artemis.

The fisherman chuckled. "We can do many things that you do not understand."

"You'd be surprised," Artemis replied.

The fisherman gave the boy a withering look and stood up straighter. "You think you understand us, human?"

Artemis smirked. "Well, I must say I—"

The fisherman transformed. His hat shriveled into nothing, his complexion became darker, his jacket lengthened and closed, the wrinkles in his face stretched and faded away, his eyes darkened, his lips became fuller.

Artemis was now staring at a Pakistani woman of about twenty-four.

"Do you understand that?" she said to him, a hint of danger in her melodic voice.

"No," said Artemis. "I've never seen anything like you before."

A look of satisfaction passed over the woman's face.

A child across the water had seen the transformation. He was tugging on his mother's arm excitedly and pointing. She shrugged him off.

"Why did you bring me here?" said Artemis.

The woman smiled, showing dazzling white teeth. "Why else? So you could see me. I wanted to thank you for what you did."

Artemis raised his eyebrows. "Have we met before?"

"You mean you don't remember?" The woman laughed. "Well, I suppose I am quite different now from the way I once was."

"And how was that?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

Artemis laced the fingers of his hands together, keeping his fascination hidden behind a mask of patience. "What are you?" he asked. "What do you call yourself?"

"I am not of any family of the People," she replied. "Not anymore. I am a Sith. I am the Sith."

The Sith theatrically morphed again, becoming shorter and more bony, her breasts diminishing, her hair shooting into her skull, a pair of spectacles materializing over her eyes, until she was again a he: a skinny bald boy roughly his own age, wearing round glasses, with skin the color of weak tea.

"Sith," said Artemis, "you are very unique."

The bald boy laughed, in a different voice but the same tone. "I know much better than you how unique I am—rather ironic, considering that you were the one who created me."

Artemis's eyes widened slightly, but he controlled himself. "Refresh my memory."

The bald boy only looked at him with laughter in his eyes.

Around them, people were still sparsely milling around the park. A businessman in a suit sat down on the edge of the fountain to get something out of his briefcase. No one paid the two boys any attention except the muscular Eurasian man sitting on the bench on the other side of the trail.

"Please," said Artemis. "You contacted me and led me to this city—but you are telling me nothing."

"Oh, but this is not for you, Artemis Fowl," said the Sith. "It is for me."

The businessman stood up and walked past them, heading for the park exit. Still no one gave the Sith a second glance.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean," Artemis replied.

The Sith smiled and opened its mouth—but all that came out was a sound like a balloon deflating. The boy's skinny body shuddered, and then he closed his eyes and collapsed. When he did, Artemis saw the suited businessman behind him, pocketing a ballpoint pen. Then the businessman threw the passed-out Sith over his shoulder and began to run.

All this happened in one second.

And in the next second, Butler sprang into action.

A Sig Sauer pistol produced from nowhere fired multiple times at the man, but his skills were a match for Butler's. He dodged the bullets expertly and ran with the abducted fairy towards a car in the parking lot.

By now, the few people in the area were screaming and running in fear and bafflement. Artemis saw someone speaking into a phone. This was going to get very complicated, very soon.

Butler reached into each of his boots and pulled out two throwing knives, which he slung at the kidnapper. He dodged both and ducked into the car, the engine starting an instant later. Butler sprinted after him, but the car screeched backwards and he was forced to get out of its way.

Their own car was fortunately nearby. Butler unlocked it remotely as the two of them ran towards it. Artemis opened the door to get into the passenger seat, but Butler held out a hand. "I think you should take the back seat, sir," he said to his young charge. "It's a bit safer. This will be a bumpy ride."

Artemis chose to follow his suggestion, and they drove after the kidnapper. The two vehicles crashed onto the main road, speeding after one another. Other cars honked and swerved narrowly out of their way. "Butler!" said Artemis. "Can you stop them without killing the fairy?"

"That'll be tricky," Butler replied.

Ahead of them, something flew out of the window of the man's car. It hit their windshield and stuck, attached by some sort of suction device.

"Is that a…calculator?"

The number on the screen of the calculator was counting down. Just as Artemis realized what it was, Butler reached around through his window, plucked the calculator from the windshield, and hurled it into the sky. It exploded in an orange plume above them.

Butler pressed on the gas, and they zoomed toward their quarry's car, pulling up beside. "Hold on, Master Fowl," he said, concentrating.

Suddenly the other car swerved to the side, off the road. Their tires screeching loudly, Butler and Artemis turned after them.

The other car was quite far ahead of them. They were driving over unpaved land, no road or buildings or people in sight. It was rough on the car and its passengers; Artemis bumped his head as they bounced violently driving over the uneven ground. A less skilled driver than Butler would have been unable to avoid the trees.

Far ahead, the other car stopped. The man got out with the unconscious fairy in a fireman's carry and ran around a corner of trees, out of sight. Butler caught up and stopped their car as well. "Stay in the car, Master Artemis," he said, holding his Sig Sauer.

Artemis followed Butler out of the car and the way their quarry had gone. They heard a rumbling engine start up somewhere they couldn't see. The two of them tore after the abductor, Artemis panting rather hard at this point. As they ran around trees, different parts of the area became visible to them. They saw that their pursuit had taken them to the bank of a wide river. Then all at once they saw something new and jarring in the nature.

It was a giant vehicle—something like a tank, but with odd boat-like elements to it. The man was driving it on an open deck.

"A Salamander," he heard Butler breathe. Butler closed one eye and lifted his gun. He shot at the man, the bullets sparking off the armored metal. The man reached for something Artemis couldn't see and then pointed at Butler.

A glowing red line shot between the two men and seared the ground, narrowly missing Butler, who ducked out of the way. The red light vanished, and the man sped his Salamander toward the river.

"That was a laser!" Artemis said, quite surprised.

Butler shot again and missed. The man was getting too far away now, and moving too fast. Artemis watched as the Salamander rolled right off the land on its treads and plopped massively into the river, where it floated and sailed. An aquatic tank.

Butler and Artemis ran to the water's edge. The Salamander was speeding downriver, spitting up water behind it as it went. The chase was over. They could do nothing but watch it go.

"The Indus will take them to Baltistan before we can catch up," said Butler, unable to suppress the bitterness in his voice. "From there they'll disappear."

"Don't give up hope just yet, my friend," Artemis said smoothly. He showed his manservant a small handheld device. "I brought this for the creature, but I managed to get the kidnapper in a shot as well." The screen of the device showed a photograph of the fairy in the form of the skinny bald boy, as well as the man who'd abducted it. Artemis allowed himself a small smile. "No one can hide when we've got a picture."

In a Skardu hotel room, at midday, with Butler beside him working diligently on a laptop computer, Artemis sat, and pondered. He couldn't stop thinking about the Sith and her words: "I wanted to thank you for what you did… …you were the one who created me." He had been racking his brains, but had no memory of ever creating a new kind of fairy or doing anything that could lead to it.

Butler, meanwhile, had been searching through online records for the man who had stolen the Sith. It was not much of an issue for Artemis and Butler to find anything hidden on the internet, even from America. They could even access some confidential files of state and local governments without too much effort. With the picture Artemis had snapped of the kidnapper, it shouldn't be very hard.

"Anything on our man yet, Butler?" asked Artemis.

"Oh yes, I found him. This is interesting."

"I'm all ears."

"His name is Edward McCracken, and he's a wanted criminal. Hired muscle for one of the most dangerous and elusive men in the world—Ledroptha Curtain."

Artemis had heard of Ledroptha Curtain before. He was the inventor of a very powerful and valuable kind of tidal turbine, and had owned an educational Institute in the United States until recently. The last Artemis knew of him was that the school was now shut down and Mr. Curtain had disappeared. There had been stories that he was involved in mysterious criminal activity.

"Goodness gracious," said Artemis. "That is interesting. What does Ledroptha Curtain want with our fairy?"

"That's just it, sir. I don't think he does want the fairy."

Artemis waited for Butler to explain.

"I kept digging," Butler said, "and I found something else. Look at this." He showed Artemis what was currently on the screen of his computer: a row of four photographs, all of them of children around Artemis's own age. One of the photographs—the second from the left—showed a bald, spectacled face that he recognized.

"That's… That's the boy the Sith was disguised as," said Artemis, astounded in spite of himself.

Butler nodded. "His name is George Washington."

"George Washington?"

"Yes sir."

Artemis clasped his hands. "Fair enough. Continue."

"He's in the Witness Protection Program," said Butler. "Witness to the crimes of Ledroptha Curtain."

Artemis tried to make sense of it all. "Then Mr. McCracken may have snatched the wrong person—or…creature. He wanted this boy George Washington—but he got the Sith."

Butler shook his head in wonderment.

"Who are the other three children?" asked Artemis, looking at the photographs.

"Reynard Muldoon, Kate Wetherall, and Constance Contraire. Also under protection. All four of them live in Stonetown, Massachusetts. Quite near Curtain's old Institute, as a matter of fact."

Artemis rubbed his chin, musing. "If Ledroptha Curtain wants to capture these children, we can assume he's going to try again once he realizes he doesn't have the boy he thinks he does."

"Sir?"

Artemis leaned back in his chair. "Get Juliet on the phone, please, Butler, and then pack your bags. We're going to Stonetown."