"She said you hurt her so, she almost lost her mind. And now she says she knows, you're not the hurting kind. She says she loves you, and you know that can't be bad." She Loves You- The Beatles
Jade&Beck Beck&Jade
He didn't care.
You finally allowed your heart to accept that he simply didn't care. He didn't care if you felt your heart being torn apart at the possibility of him being interested in another girl; he didn't give a damn if other guys were interested in you. Not even if it was his best friend. Even that couldn't get a real reaction out of his always (too) cool demeanor.
After Andre confessed that he was in love with you, Beck had simply stared him down before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you away with him towards his truck. You complied, too shocked by the recent discovery to be upset over being told what to do. Neither one of you spoke on your way back to his RV, and you thought maybe Beck was waiting until you got there to finally speak about the recent events. That was never his plan. You should have known better.
"Beck, you know I didn't do anything to encourage Andre's feelings, right?" You questioned him, wanting to make sure he understood you in no way reciprocated his feelings for you.
"I know, babe. Let's not talk about this right now, okay?" He answered after exhaling a loud sigh and visibly dropping his shoulders.
"But we have to talk about it. We're both going to see him tomorrow at school," you challenged him back.
"Look, why don't you go to sleep right now? It's late and we have school tomorrow. I'm just going for a walk to clear my head and I'll be right back," he replied, which was code word for, 'we're not talking about this'. He turned around and walked out before you had a chance to protest. You weren't going to follow him, you had more dignity than that. He would come back, the same way he always did, and then you would talk about it.
You had to talk about it, didn't you? It wasn't like the news didn't completely affect all of your friendship dynamics. Didn't he want to know how you felt about it? Maybe if you had done anything to cause Andre's sudden affection for you? Wasn't he in the least bit worried that you might like him back? Didn't it matter to him, bother him, anger him, that another guy was in love with you?
No. It didn't.
You hadn't expected him to fight his best friend, or even cause a scene, but didn't you deserve some small type of reaction? Did it really not matter to him if you were to just leave him for somebody else?
That night, you lay alone in his bed, feeling your insecurities claw at your skin as he sat outside on the steps of his home. You knew he was there, a door away from you, but your pride wouldn't allow you to get up and force him to talk to you. Why did it always have to be you the one to budge? Why did you have to be the one to ask if he loved you? Why couldn't he simply show it to everyone, the way you did? Why didn't your relationship seem to matter to him anymore? Why was he even still in a relationship with you?
He came back inside two hours later, probably after he was convinced you'd be asleep. You weren't, you couldn't sleep without him. You heard the ruffle his clothing made as he discarded his shoes and pants, accompanied by his dress shirt, before you felt him pull the covers up and make his way next to you. His arm snaked around your waist and he gently pulled your body closer to his, before resting his head on your shoulder and sighing softly.
"Goodnight, babe," he murmured, which meant he knew you were awake. You had kept your eyes shut the entire time, but you should've known he'd be able to tell if you were awake or not. Your body tensed, before relaxing once again and forcing itself to go to sleep.
You wondered if Beck knew how easily he could hurt you. How he could tear your heart apart with a single action, or lack of. You didn't want to talk to him now, not that he had offered. You looked down when you felt his arm tighten around your middle, and you couldn't help but wonder if this was why he kept you around. As calm and collected as Beck was, it made being in a relationship with him sometimes feel cold, empty.
He was like ice, always beautiful and cool but so very cold and hollow, and you were fire, always passionate and destructive, something fascinating to observe that burned when touched. You balanced each other out. What if he only kept you around for that very reason? To be able to feel the fire that you brought into his life; for the comfort that there was in familiarity? It was possible. The two of you learned long ago that you only really had each other. What if that was the only basis left for your relationship, and he was finally beginning to understand that? How long before he got tired of the same thing and decided he wanted something brighter than you?
You didn't sleep. Instead, you spent the majority of the night pondering how many more nights like these, you had left with Beck Oliver.
Jade&Beck Beck&Jade
"Heard about what happened, do you finally believe me when I say you can do better?"
The text message taunted you.
He had no fucking right to try and mess with your relationship. You cursed Sinjin for thinking that posting a video on TheSlap of Tori and Andre speaking of his crush on you, would be okay with you. The news had spread like wildfire throughout the school, and you doubted there was anyone left who hadn't seen it. Now everyone knew of Andre's crush on you, and Beck's nonchalance; he had simply shrugged it off and walked away. The whole school was gossiping about you, wondering what would happen now that two of the most popular guys in Hollywood Arts, best friends for years, were both in love with the same girl. Only in Hollywood, right?
And as if there wasn't enough drama in your life already, there was him.
You sat inside the empty classroom, a place he had taken you to the first time you had bothered to speak with him alone. You weren't exactly sure why you chose this place out of the entire Hollywood Arts Campus to go, but you knew what had prompted it. You needed to be away from all of them for a while. From Tori shooting you worried glances, from Cat's wide sparkling eyes, from Beck's expressionless face and Andre's stuttering and especially away from Robbie and his disgusting puppet who took every opportunity to crack, what he called "Jandre Jokes".
What better place was there than an abandoned room that had been closed off because of its safety hazards?
It was a good place to get lost in your thoughts. You avoided them for as long as you could but soon enough you were consumed with Beck. You didn't have a clue as to where you stood with him. You didn't know how he felt about you, and that made you question your own feelings. Fine; that was a lie. You knew exactly how you felt about Beck, it was the same feeling you had since you were fourteen. It never faded or died. You loved him, needed him, depended on him, way more than you should. He knew that, and he took advantage of it. He knew you would always love him, so he didn't even bother to question your feelings. He knew you would always be loyal to him, and that gave him the security he needed to do as he pleased.
You weren't just upset, you were hurt.
You didn't hurt easily and you applauded Beck for doing something only one other person had managed. Until you were 14, you were daddy's little girl. By now you had adjusted to the pauper you had become. Your father no longer smiled, he didn't open his hands wide and you certainly didn't go running to him anymore. When you first brought Beck to your mother, the skeptic, she had snorted, shook her head and said, "baby, you want something from Beck that your father took away but you're not going to find that there." And so the skeptic was right.
"How did I just know you'd be here?" You jumped at the gruff voice and rolled your eyes, letting out a frustrated groan when your eyes fell upon the intruder.
"Because you're a creep with stalker tendencies," He only chuckled.
"You know, I actually feel flattered you came to our spot."
"This isn't 'our spot'," you refuted him. Sure, he had brought you here first, but it wasn't like it was a national secret or anything. He laughed and shot you a smile. You glared. This was how things usually went. It was almost comforting how little had changed between you two. Almost.
"You know it is, but whatever helps you sleep at night," You couldn't ignore the parallels between you two forever. His comments were so Jade-like that you had to turn your head away to hide your smile.
"You know, I would have beaten the crap out of any guy who claimed to love my girlfriend," he stated.
Of course he would bring that up. "Shut up, you have no right to comment on my relationship," you snapped at him. Fury coursed through your veins.
"I would if you had agreed to date me when I asked you," he reminded you.
"Yeah, well, that never has and never will happen."
"Only because you're scared of giving me a chance, yet your little boyfriend can do whatever he wants. We could have something amazing."
"Oh, I'm sure we could. Of course, it might not be as 'amazing' as what you shared with Tori. What, we don't even have a class together this year so it looks like you're going to have to work on improving your grades with someone else. You wouldn't want that heartbreaker rep to slip."
"You and I both know that I'd never break your heart."
"I don't know that at all, actually."
"So I used her to get a good grade. It's not like she doesn't do the same thing. She calls it 'asking friends for favors', and nobody finds anything wrong with it. How the heck does she pass a songwriting class, when the girl couldn't write a song if her life depended on it? She asks one of her friends to do it for her. Excuse me if I'm not dying of shame over doing what I need to do to pass," he stated, not a scent of remorse in his tone. You had to admit, he had a point, not that you would ever admit that to his face.
"It doesn't matter, that doesn't change the fact that you use girls to get what you want. Do you really expect me to believe you wouldn't do the same to me?" You asked him incredulously.
"Because unlike those other girls, I have feelings for you. I always have. Feelings don't disappear overnight, especially feelings that have existed for 3 years. How much longer until you realize the person breaking your heart here isn't me, it's the very boyfriend you flash in my face every passing second."
"Shut up!" you screeched. "You don't know anything about us. I love Beck and he loves me. More than you ever will."
"Nobody will be able to love you more than I do, than I have for the past 3 years. You think I'm a player while your boyfriend flirts with everything with boobs?"
"This is why we'll never be together Ryder. You're an asshole."
"Because I'm honest?"
"Because you don't know when to stop." You voice was weak and you hated that. You hated the fact that your throat tightened and your head was pounding. You hated how you avoided his gaze and you especially hated how Ryder opened his mouth but closed it shut, holding back. He didn't need to hold back, you could handle whatever shit he was dishing out.
Still, you didn't want to hear any of this.
You started to make your way towards the door in order to leave, when he stopped you and sandwiched you between his body and the wall to stop you from breaking away and leaving. You tried to fight him off, but he simply pinned your arms to each side of your body and used his hands to keep them still.
"Tell me how to fall out of love and I will but until then, I'm always going to have feelings for you, Jade. You're the one that I want. I'm smart enough to know you're The One, unlike that idiot boyfriend of yours. I can appreciate you, because I know what it's like to want you and not have you. You and I, we're the same, Jade. We both like the same things and understand each other. Beck? He's never going to understand you the way I do, he's always going to want to limit you, to change you. He can't handle you."
You turned your head away from him, not wanting to hear or believe what he was saying. How could he know exactly what cards to play, what words he needed, to trigger your insecurities? You knew Ryder had wanted you for a long time now; he had been quite vocal and blunt about the subject with you before. You always refused him, never having the intentions of leaving Beck even cross your mind. But that was before, when all you had to do was look at Beck to know he loved you more than anything. Now? You weren't quite as sure where you fit into his plans.
The next thing you knew, Ryder had cupped your face with his palm and was pressing a kiss to your lips. You froze and stay stilled with shock and somehow you ended up kissing him back and wrapping your arms around his neck. His hand made its way to the back of your head to press you closer to him and hold you in place. His kiss was full of passion, desire and longing to prove his affection. It was a wonderful kiss, but it felt wrong. You couldn't stop your heart from speeding up inside your chest and you couldn't stop the tornado of emotions wrecking havoc inside your body. Unlike Beck, Ryder wasn't soothing you, Ryder didn't compliment you; he added to you. Together you were one. Beck was different. Beck was- is your boyfriend. Shiiiiiit.
You felt sparks on your lips, but it didn't compare to the electricity that burned through your entire body every time Beck kissed you this way.
(Which had been in a long time.)
It was empty, well, for the most part.
(But how desperate were you for finding some sick comfort from Ryder's kiss?)
The love and security you felt every single time you were in Beck's embrace was missing. You didn't feel the desire to stay wrapped in this moment forever, hidden away from the rest of the world.
(Not entirely.)
That's when your mind caught up with your actions and you pushed Ryder away from you. He stumbled back, mostly because of the surprise of your sudden lack of contact.
"Don't ever fucking kiss me again," you threatened him. You were good at that and you wondered if he could see through your act this time."I'm not a fucking prize that can be won and I'm never going to be with you. I love Beck and he loves me and that's all that matters. Stay away from me, Ryder."
"You can't deny you felt something, Jade. You can go running back to him but you know that you and I are inevitable. He's never going to be what you need," you heard him say as you made your way out of the room. You slammed the door shut behind you and had to fight the urge to run away from there as fast as you could. You needed to forget this ever happened. You needed to get the fuck out of this school. You needed to find Cat and peel this layer of emotion from your heart so she could stick it in her sticker book. You had checked to make sure he wasn't following when you crashed into someone else. Turning your head to snap at the idiot who had gotten in your way, you felt your eyes widen when you noticed who it was.
Andre Harris, staring right at you and murmuring something about having to talk to you this instant.
This day just kept getting better and better.
(You know, if you were a prostitute looking for hire.)
Jade&Beck Beck&Jade
"So, what was so important that you just had to talk to me 'right this moment'?" you questioned him, an undertone of annoyance evident in your voice.
Both of you had made your way to Sikowitz's (currently) abandoned classroom, fully aware of the new wave of gossip that would be brought upon you if you were caught together at the moment. You did not want to be here dealing with this, especially not after your encounter with Ryder. An encounter you're not sure if you liked or not, and that was what made the entire thing so utterly confusing. Maybe Beck could let his hair grow longer and the two of you could move to Mexico and become lesbians.
Problem solved.
You ditched your classes all day and had been ignoring Beck's text messages when Ryder had found you, there only being a few minutes left of school. You had been so close to making it home-free. Your mindset had been completely set on hiding in the janitors closet until school ended and Beck could take you home when Andre caught you.
Andre, who had nothing and everything to do with your current situation. Andre, who your mind wanted to blame for all your relationship problems and hate for reawakening your fears and insecurities. Andre, who your heart knew was a real friend to you, and had nothing to do with your problems, except for having the bad luck of becoming enamored of you and being pulled into the whirlwind and unstoppable relationship and paradox that will always be Beck&Jade.
"Listen, Jade, I'm sorry about the way everybody found out about all of this. I know that you're Beck's girl, and that you two love each other. I mean, I didn't want to like you, I tried to get over you, and I thought I did for a bit, but then I saw you again yesterday, and it all came back." You looked into his eyes for a second and noticed the guilt in them, before he tore his gaze away from and lowered his head in shame. Poor guy, the guilt of being in love with his best friend's girlfriend was tearing away at him.
"It's cool. So you have a crush on me, it's not a big deal. Crushes only last as long as it takes for you to notice another person. I'm sure tomorrow you'll meet a pretty girl who isn't completely brain dead and you won't even remember my last name," you tried to reassure him. OK, so it didn't always work out that way, but the guy was already freaking out and he didn't need you making him feel worse. You weren't coldhearted, you could do things for your friends simply to try and comfort them, even if that sometimes involved stretching the truth. Just because you felt miserable, didn't mean everyone around you had to be so too.
"You're right, I'm still sorry about all of this, though. I don't want us to stop being friends over this," he stated, and you heard the hesitance and doubt in his voice, as well with the sincere hope of not losing two of his friends.
"Don't worry about it," you answered him, before the next question slipped out of your mouth. "Why do you even like me? I mean, I've never even been particularly nice to you, and I could have sworn you had a thing for Vega," you clarified. Hey, he had put you through all your insecurities and you were letting him get off easy, the least he could do was answer tell you what had caused your current dilemma.
"Wha- what?" he stuttered, completely shocked.
"Come on, tell me. I want to know," you prompted him. You needed a reason, something that made sense and could reassure you. You wanted to believe and hear the reason he had for liking you, given that they could help you strengthen your beliefs on why Beck loved you. They were best friends; they had to at least have a few things in common. You were desperate for some any small type of reassurance you could get.
"Honestly?" he asked hesitantly.
"No, tell me a lie," you replied sarcastically. "Of course I mean honestly. Tell me why."
"It was the way you sang. I mean, I had always been a bit afraid of you, cause girl, you can be scary, but when you were singing, it was like this whole different Jade that nobody knows shined through. Even in Karaoke-Dokie, that girl wasn't there. You looked so completely sincere, beautiful and happy. You were always so tough, hard, you know? Like a turtle shell but when you sang, it was like someone had taken off your shell and I finally saw you. You were soft and breathtaking. You were someone else Jade…and I just fell," he confessed.
"Really?" you asked in a soft tone. You hadn't expected that answer, and it made your heart swell to know that another boy could like you for being yourself, and not simply because of your body and popularity. It was probably wrong, given that you had a boyfriend and this boy not only was his best friend, but also had a crush on you, but everyone liked being sincerely told they were beautiful. It was good for the self-esteem.
"Yeah, and then that song you were singing. It was beautiful and so heartfelt. I could feel your emotions tearing at me while I listened, I could feel what you did. It was the smile though, when you finished singing, you had this smile that I had never seen you do before. I felt like I was staring at the Jade that Cat's always babbling about. The Jade from all her childhood stories. I've always wondered, you know…what she was like and when I found out- when I found you I was…blown away." he smiled at you, almost trying to imitate the one that had graced your lips and had cause his love-struck situation.
OK, now that brought you back to reality.
"Thanks," you answered. "The song, it was only that heartfelt because I was thinking about Beck when I wrote it," you added softly. "If I hadn't been, I doubt anything worthwhile would have come out."
"I know the song was for him, just like I'm sure that smile wasn't meant for me, but because you were thinking of him. I know that. It doesn't change the way it made me feel though," he added, acceptance and traces of hurt in his tone. "Man, Beck must hate me right now," he added as an afterthought.
"Beck doesn't hate you," you reassured him before adding bitterly, "I don't think he even cares."
"What do you mean? I'm sure he does. I mean, I'm in love with his girlfriend."
"Beck loved me. Not so sure about now," you informed him.
"Trust me, Beck's my best friend, and I can swear to you he loves you," he tried to comfort you. "Girl, what makes you think he doesn't love you anymore? Talk to me, I'm a good listener," he prompted.
You thought about telling him to leave you alone and mind his own business for a minute, but then you realized you really had no one to talk to. Cat was your best friend, but you weren't sure the girl could handle your relationship drama. Beck refused to discuss the subject and there was no way in hell you were going to have this conversation with Vega. Well, not anymore. Okay, well only because Tori was in class and when Tori got involved in something, she got really invested. You didn't want an entire life-dedication, you just wanted some emotional relief. You've been OD-ing on emotion for the entire day. With Beck, Ryder and now Andre was offering to take some of that away, who were you to deny yourself of this opportunity? Who knew when next you'd get another one like this?
Making him understand you, that might be the difficult part.
"Does Beck ever talk to you about me?"
"Well, no. Not really," he answered honestly.
"Have you ever heard him tell me he loves me," he opened his mouth to answer when you interrupted him to add, "without me asking?"
He quieted down, not being able to recall a single time he had witnessed that act. Andre scratched his dreds and his forehead crinkled.
"Have you ever seen or heard Beck defend me when other people insult me?"
He lowered his eyes and shifted his gaze away from yours, and you know he was thinking about the time he had called you a gank, and Beck had simply agreed. Yeah, you knew about that. They should know that Cat may not be all there, but if she was one thing, it was loyal.
"Does he flirt with other girls when I'm not around?" you asked, and you couldn't help the insecurity that laced into your voice. You knew the answer already, but of course you were a masochist, and you couldn't stop yourself from verifying it with him.
"What? I, uh," he stammered on his words, and shifted in his seat uneasily. He was trying to find an appropriate way to defend Beck and make him look better, but stopped. As hard and as loyal as he was to his best friend, he couldn't bring himself to lie to the girl he loved. He sighed softly and his shoulders sagged in defeat, that simple action giving you the answer.
"Do you know that one of the times Beck was away at Canada, I was hanging out with Ryder and some of his friends while we worked on a project, and he defended me against his best friend when he said I was being a gank?" you questioned him. "He literally shoved him to the ground and told him to watch his mouth," you added. "Beck has never done anything close to that for me, rather, he's actually agreed with his friends," you narrowed your eyes at him.
"Do you know that Ryder has been after me for the last two years? How about that he's told me that I'm The One, and that he loves me repeatedly? You know that, Andre? I have the coolest and toughest guy in school begging me to date him, to give him a chance. He knows I have a boyfriend who I love and that he's going to get rejected, and he's still brave enough to be open about his feelings. Ryder's words might not be worth a lot of merit but damn him, Andre; Beck's never done those things for me. My boyfriend of three years. Ryder is everything Beck isn't and yet…why can't Beck just…" you stopped to compose yourself. Your hands were flailing and Andre had a confused look on his face, which, you had to admit, was a little adorable.
"Ryder…Ryder's a player Jade." Andre spoke lowly, "I know he's liked you for a long time but you can't trust him."
"He thinks I'm perfect, he loves everything about me and doesn't try to change me. Yet, I can't bring myself to like him because I love your idiot best friend too much. Beck: who flirts with other girls, who I have to beg for an 'I love you', who acts like if he's ashamed of me sometimes, and who currently can't be bothered to even defend me or our relationship."
You looked up to meet Andre's eyes, and you noticed the pity that was reflected in them, contrasting with the hurt and pain that shined in yours. You wondered how hard it was for him to listen to the girl he loved confessing her love life issues, none of which included any real feelings towards him. To both of your relieves, the bell rang at that moment and you sighed before standing up from the stage where you had been sitting and grabbing your bag to leave. You were at the door with your hand on the handle when you stopped yourself to add one last comment, something you needed at least one more person to understand in order for your life to make sense if you were never able to regain the courage to confess it to someone else.
"You see, Andre, you really don't know Beck at all, do you? People think I'm cold hearted but if I'm not like this around Beck, he'll tear me to pieces. Sometimes I wonder if he has any feelings at all."
Beck's cold demeanor had started to remind you of your father's indifference towards you and that scared you more than you would admit. To anyone. Score two for your mother, the skeptic.
You opened the door and walked outside to be caught in the mob of students leaving the campus. You need to get out of here, but it couldn't be with Beck. You were too sensitive at the moment, your feelings felt raw in your heart, and you couldn't handle Beck right now. Your walls were almost completely down, and all it would take were a few actions and words from him to completely tear you apart.
You needed an escape, just for a little while, until you were strong again.
An escape you found when your eyes landed on Ryder making a beeline to you. You started walking towards him and pulled his arm, asking him for a ride. He looked confused for a second, but quickly regained his composure and nodded before leading you towards his motorcycle, which was parked in front of the school.
You could hear all the murmurs and comments other students started making and gossiping when they noticed just who Jade West was leaving with. Whatever. Let them talk.
You threw on the helmet before climbing on behind Ryder, wrapping your arms around his waist to secure yourself. He turned on the black motorcycle and began making his way out of the parking lot, stopping in front of the main doors just as Beck walked out of them.
Your eyes met his narrowed ones when he noticed your current actions, and for a second you wished he would order you to stop and get off. You wanted him to do something, show some sort of emotion so badly, that you had to tighten your arms harder around Ryder's middle to stop yourself from jumping off the bike and running towards him.
Ryder slightly turned his head towards you, silently asking if you were sure you wanted to leave, giving you a last chance to change your mind. You nodded, before turning away from Beck and pressing your head against his shoulder as an answer. Ryder understood, and quickly sped out of the parking lot, leaving Beck behind.
The worst part? He only stood there, watching as you left.
The skeptic; 3. Jade's heart; 0.
Jade&Beck Beck&Jade
"Not that I don't appreciate having a coffee with a pretty girl, but are you finally going to tell me what's going on?"
You lifted your eyes away from your cup of steaming coffee and stared at Ryder, who had uttered the question. After you left the school campus, you had been too upset to go home. You didn't feel like dealing with your mother who was back from her trip today, and who would without a doubt want to indulge herself in some mother-daughter bonding. Whatever. She was always overcompensating for your father. Your mother was never very good and displaying emotions. When you were younger, you would watch as she would apply her makeup, hiding every aspect of the woman you called your mother. Ryder had offered to take you to a small café so you could relax before he dropped you off at home. You had accepted to get away from your mother.
"It's none of your business, Ryder. I just needed a ride home."
He looked like he wanted to push the question. You both knew you were lying, and you both had seen Beck's face as you rode away. Ryder was smarter than that though, he knew that if he pushed you too much regarding Beck, he would most likely end up with a coffee dumped on his head and you ending any type of conversation and time you were currently spending together. The boy may be a player, but he was not an idiot. After you stormed out on him earlier, he knew that only major circumstances would lead you to ask him for anything.
"Fine, we won't talk about that. How about instead we talk about you coming to a concert my friends are playing this Saturday?" he asked you, a hopeful tone in his voice.
"I have a boyfriend, Ryder," you sighed softly, reminding him once again you weren't just any girl he could pick up.
"I know. I'm not asking you out on a date. I'm asking you as a friend if you would like to come have some real fun with us," he answered, a grin on his face.
"Of course you were, and I'm sure you wouldn't mind being able to gloat in Beck's face that I went out to party with you after. I'm not going to do that," you shot back sarcastically.
"I won't deny that I would enjoy that, but you know that's not why I asked you. I'm not a bad guy," he informed you, and there was a trace of hurt in his voice that verified to you that he, in fact, really wasn't a bad person. It was something you knew from the time you had spent with him before, but that a lot of people seemed to forget. He was very much like you in so many ways, that this was just one of them.
"I know," you reassured him softly, raising your eyes to meet his. His sparkled with content and you couldn't help the small smile that formed on your lips. For as angry as he could make you, especially when he tried to interfere with your relationship, you genuinely did like Ryder. You knew in another world, where there was no Beck, you would have more than likely been with him. Too bad Beck was very much present in this one.
"Give me a chance, Jade. Just one," his eyes softened as he pleaded.
"You know I can't," you answered him back softly.
"Why not? I won't hurt you, Jade."
"I've loved Beck for more than the last three years of my life."
"You only know Beck. You've never given anybody else a chance." He countered your argument.
"He makes me happier than anybody else," you argued back.
"But you're not happy now. You rarely ever smile anymore. You don't do anything fun and I haven't heard you laugh in months," he countered again, and you felt your heart stop for a second. You turned your face away from him, because, really, you're anything but a hypocrite. You couldn't bring yourself to argue and deny that you truly weren't happy at the moment. In fact, you felt lonelier and sadder than you had in a long time. You felt his hand reach up to cup your face in his palm, and you couldn't help but slightly lean into the comfort he provided. Your eyes met his, and you sighed softly when you could see the genuine traces of love that were evident in his.
"Let me make you happy, Jade. All I'm asking for is one chance," he pleaded once again, nothing but sincerity in his voice. He must have noticed the way your stance faltered, because he quickly supplied, "If you can believe, even for a second, that you deserve and can be happier than you are now, give me a chance. Give us a chance."
So there was the deal. You could say no, demand he drop you off at home and deny this conversation ever took place. You could go back and deal with Beck, who would most likely be upset over your sudden departure from school, but would shrug it off to go back to his usual routine. You could go back and love him and continue playing the waiting game with him, where the two possible results were either him leaving you or him finally snapping out of his daze he always seemed to be in. You could continue to pretend everything was good and perfect in the world of Beck&Jade, and continue to spiral down in your self-pity…
Or…
…You could take Ryder's offer. You could give somebody else a chance. Ever since you were fourteen, Beck had always been the only boy in your mind and heart. The only other one who had ever come close was Ryder. They were both so similar; both handsome, both mysterious, both great actors and passionate, but they had one key difference. Beck was light and clarity; he was goodness and future and security, he tried to make you be more positive. Ryder was darkness and mystery; there was nothing sure about him, he embraced your similar darkness and would help you expand it and grow, he was limitless. Back then, you had been so absorbed by the light Beck provided into your life, that Ryder never really stood a chance.
Now everything was different. Beck stopped being the light you needed. Now, he felt like the darkness as well, except he was different from Ryder that way. He was pulling you down, limiting you. He didn't give you the chance to grow the way Ryder had tried to.
Still, you loved him, more than anything else.
But you could love somebody else too. You're too young to be in such a serious relationship with so many problems, a relationship that is currently draining your soul out of you. A relationship that everyone, but the two in it, believed to be doomed. Andre loves you. Ryder loves you. You would never be alone, and maybe you could learn to love somebody else. Even if it wasn't with the same intensity that you love Beck, you could love somebody else. You could be happy and yourself with somebody else. There was the compromise: You could stay with Beck and continue to love him with all your heart but be miserable, or you could give someone else the chance to love you, even if you couldn't love them as much, but possibly be happier and content.
You made up your mind that instant.
"You have one chance, Ryder. One, and if you ever mess it up, there won't be another one," you finally answered him. A wide smile spread across his face and his eyes lit up with happiness over his victory. He got up from his side and slid in next to you so he could press a kiss to your lips, before wrapping his arms around you.
"One chance is all I need, Jade. Trust me," he assured you when he pulled back to stare into your eyes.
You smiled back at him, as you tried to convince yourself that the way you felt your heart press against your chest was due to joy over a new beginning, a new chance at happiness, rather than heartbreak over an inevitable goodbye to a love you weren't sure you could ever really stop loving.
Beck&Jade Jade&Beck
What the hell was she doing?
Of course Jade would run off with the biggest jerk in Hollywood Arts without any sort of explanation. You shook your head in confusion, before sighing in frustration. If she thought you were going to run after her simply because she was making a scene, she was wrong. What did she expect you to do, run to your truck and chase after her? Make a fool out of yourself in front of everyone just so she could feel satisfied? This was Hollywood, not a Disney movie. You loved her, more than anything else in the world, but lately you couldn't understand her at all.
You turned your head to the side when you heard Andre, who had just walked in, release a low whistle over the scene that had unfolded under the sight of him and half the school's student population. He looked as if he wanted to talk to you, but you couldn't at the moment. You were still too angry with him, so instead you continued to make your way towards your truck and heading home. Of course, this was not before sending her a text message after she had failed to answer her cell phone. Both of which she had rejected responding to.
You weren't worried though.
Beck&Jade Jade&Beck
Why wasn't she answering her phone?
You had spent the entire day calling and texting her, and she had ignored every single one of them. This was not typical Jade. Jade would answer her phone to yell at you her reason for being upset, or she would text you in very blunt way exactly how she felt. Silence was never a good sign from her. She was loud, vivacious, a flaming and unstoppable fire. She demanded attention and exuded strength and determination, so lack of those things never seemed to fit or make sense. The world seemed out of balance.
After a few hours of waiting unsuccessfully for her to respond, you grabbed your car keys and headed towards her house, determined to see her and sort this whole mess out. Once you got there, you instantly noticed the lights were on in Jade's bedroom, meaning she was home and safe. The second thing you noticed was her father's car parked in the driveway, next to her mother's. This was not good for you. Her mom liked you, for the most part, but her father, well…
He hated you with a passion.
The way he saw it, you were guy who encouraged his daughter to pursue her 'irrational dreams', and not only that, but you also shared them. Add to the fact that he found out you lived in an RV without supervision, and that Jade often stayed nights with you. Yeah, the man had it out against you. You were the reason he had lost his little girl but really, he was losing Jade all on his own and was using you as an excuse. You wondered what he was doing here, given that he had a new wife to tend to, before deciding that this was just nature's way of making your life even more difficult.
Shrugging it off, you walked up the steps and knocked on the door, only to have it open to reveal Jade West's father's face. His facial features hardened when he recognized you, and you just know he was fighting the urge to slam the door in your face.
"What do you want at this time of the night, boy?" He questioned you, a rough edge to his voice.
"Mr. West," you greeted him. "I know it's late, but I really need to speak to Jade," you nearly pleaded him.
"I'm sorry, honey, but Jade doesn't want to talk to you. She asked me to tell you she wasn't going to see you tonight. It might be best if you go home and talk to her tomorrow," Jade's mother provided, an understanding tone in her voice. She finished making her way towards the two of you, and you watched the smirk that crossed her ex-husbands face at her words.
"So Jade finally came to her senses and left you." The older man's eyes sparkled and there was a hint of a smile on his face. "Now she will quite that silly school and stop wasting time singing and dancing around the place."
"Jack, I thought you had learned to respect Jade's dream."
"Like you respect it."
Okay, this was a little awkward. Her parents were about to break into a heated argument right in front of you.
"Um. Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. West." The fact that you joined their names caught their attention almost immediately, "but did Jade say why she didn't want to see me tonight?"
"No. I'm sorry Beck, maybe it's best if you leave now." Mrs. West smiled sweetly and you watched as the blonde disappeared from your view.
"You heard her, now leave," Mr. West ordered gruffly, before promptly slamming the door in your face. The man had been dying to do that since the first time he met you. You groaned in frustration, before walking back towards your truck and stopping midway. You turned around and noticed how the curtains of Jade's window moved softly.
So she had been watching you.
You stood there, staring at her window, and you knew she could feel your presence. You watched as the lights were shut off, and you couldn't help the hollowness that you felt run through you. After, you made your way back home and sat in your RV, trying to understand just what was going on.
What had caused this? Why had she left with Ryder, when she knew exactly how you felt about him? Everything had been fine, hadn't it? So why wasn't she talking to you? Why wouldn't she answer her phone or reply to your text messages? You hadn't even been fighting, and there were no reasons for her to act the way she was.
Your mind couldn't concrete an idea over the problem at hand. Why was she so upset? You hadn't even played the jealous boyfriend car and made a huge deal over Andre's crush on her. You trusted her, so there was no point in even bringing up the conversation with her. With Andre though, that was another story.
Andre.
You remembered the dozen missed calls on your PearPhone and the unread messages. When would he understand that you really didn't want to talk to him now? What did he expect, to be able to say he loved your girlfriend and still be completely cool with you? You admit you didn't want to lose his friendship; you had been best friends since the seventh grade, which was why you couldn't speak to him at the moment.
You were too angry, you felt too betrayed. You had trusted him to be loyal to you and respect your relationship. You had volunteered Jade because you knew she would make anything that he wrote sound amazing. He had taken that trust and completely broken it. Hell, he had written and sang her a song about doing whatever he could to get her. So much for loyalty and family. So no, you weren't going to talk to him, because if you did, you probably wouldn't have a best friend for much longer.
Still, you couldn't deny that you were tempted to call him. You needed help, you needed someone with a fresh view who knew you and Jade, to help you figure out what the hell was Jade's problem.
Cat would never side with you in a Beck&Jade argument. She was loyal to Jade to the end, and had been so their entire lives. There was no way in hell you were asking Robbie for relationship advice. Tori might help, but you discarded her when you remembered that every time she's tried to intervene in a relationship for good, she ends up making the situation worse. Plus, you were sure Jade wouldn't appreciate having her know all the intimate details of your relationship. The only person left was Andre.
Your ego wouldn't let you dial the number.
Instead, you forced your body to sleep, completely decided on fixing all of this with Jade the next day.
Beck&Jade Jade&Beck
"What do you mean she's not home? Her car is still parked in the driveway," you pointed out to her mother. You had woken up earlier and gone to pick up Jade so you could stop along the way to school and talk, only to find out she was gone by the time you got there.
"I'm sorry, Beck, but she got a ride to school today."
"Who, exactly, picked her up?" you questioned, suspicion running down your spine.
"A boy, she said his name was Ryder. Really nice guy, by the way," she added.
"Why is Ryder picking Jade up for school? I always pick her up." She stared at you when the words left your mouth. The look she gave you, it was filled with pity, like the one you feel when you have to tell a little kid their puppy ran away and isn't coming back. You sighed, and started to turn around to leave when her voice and her hand on your shoulder stopped you.
"Look, Beck, I know I'll never win a 'Mother of the Year' award, and that's fine, because that doesn't change the fact that I love my daughter. This morning, when that boy showed up to pick her up, she looked happier than I've seen her in a long time. That boy who made her smile so much this morning, is so in love with her that he can't hide it. So if you can't make her that happy anymore, I'm asking you to let her go, so she can be happy with somebody else."
You stared at her in shock, trying to process her words. Was she really asking you to give up Jade? More so, to give her up to Ryder? You had to be in some sort of weird, alternate universe where Ryder was the good guy, the one the parents wanted their daughters to date.
"Look Mrs. West, you know I love your daughter, and nothing you, Ryder, or anybody else says is going to make me give her up. The only one who's going to decide when this relationship ends is either Jade or I, with all due respect," you clarified to her, a decided and lethal tone in your voice, just daring her to try and challenge you. She simply shook her hear softly, almost as if she felt sorry over your stubbornness. Ever the skeptic.
You turned around to leave and stopped once more when her voice called out to you again.
"Beck, if it makes you feel any better, as much as she was smiling this morning, it doesn't compare to the way she smiles when she's with you."
Her words gave you hope, and you nodded your head to demonstrate your acknowledgement of her words. You continued the familiar path from her porch steps to your truck and made your way towards school.
You needed to find Jade.
It was time to fix this.
Beck&Jade Jade&Beck
She didn't show up to school until lunchtime.
She was sitting down by herself at a table at the Asphalt Café when you spotted her. You were just about to make your way towards her when you stopped on your tracks. One of the seniors stopped in front of her and you watched the way her eyes narrowed at him while he spoke. She did not look impressed, and you couldn't help but smile at that.
Fact about Jade: if you try too hard to be cool and get her attention, she will hate you.
The smiled on your face faded when you noticed the guy trying to get way to close to her personal space for anyone's good. It wasn't jealousy; you trusted her, and that guy didn't stand a chance.
What did bother you was when you witnessed Ryder return carrying two lunch trays and placing them on the table. You could only stare in shock as he sat next to Jade and threw his arm possessively around her shoulders, glaring daggers at the imposing senior who had been speaking to Jade. She leaned herself closer to him and smiled widely when Ryder pressed a kiss to her cheek, causing the senior to walk away.
"You okay Beck?" Tori asked you. Together, everyone at the table followed your gaze.
What the hell?
"Looks like Oliver's lost his girl not to one but to two guys." Rex laughed and everyone at the table shot Robbie a dirty look.
"Rex!" Robbie looked down at his puppet in disbelief and you felt yourself snarling at them but you couldn't tear your eyes away from the scene unfolding in front of you.
You had expected Jade to push him away, not smile at him. She was acting like his girlfriend, and you felt as if a vile substance was running down your throat, through your lungs and into your stomach. Everyone was staring at them, watching in amazement what was the beginning of Jade&Ryder.
"Beck, what's going on between you and Jade?" Tori pushed again and Cat played with her food.
"Nothing to worry about."
"Really? Because Jade's with Ryder right now and, I mean, Ryder's bad news Beck and Jade's my friend. You're both my friends and-"
"Just stay out of it." You snapped and an awkward silence filled the table.
"Hey, just because you're jealous doesn't mean you should take it out on us." Tori spoke up and sighed heavily.
"That must be what Jade feels like when you flirt with all the other girls, Beck." Cat spoke light-heartedly but she was frowning and eying you distastefully. "Isn't that funny?" You watched as she forced a smile.
You pushed your tray away, picked up your bag and left the table. Jade still on your mind, doing your bets to ignore Cat's words.
What was she doing anyway? Was she not even going to give you the courtesy of breaking up with you before she ran off to be somebody else's girlfriend?
Well, if that's the way she wanted it to be, fine.
You had started the day wanting to fix things, and she had completely blown everything out of proportion over a day's length, as usual. Except this time, she had gone too far. She had no reason to do all this bullshit, and you weren't about to stand here and let her embarrass you and make you look like a loser.
If she wanted Ryder, that was fine. Good luck to her with that relationship. Hopefully he wouldn't treat her the way he had Tori, and if he did, she better not come back running to you. You were just about to leave when a voice stopped you dead on your tracks.
"You're really going to let Jade go, just like that?"
"Yup, if she wants to date Ryder, let her do whatever the hell she wants. I'm done with all this drama," you answered back. Andre's eyes narrowed at you, anger and disbelief burning in them.
"Man, I can't believe you. Jade was right, you really are an idiot, and you don't deserve her," he stated, fury lacing all of his words.
"Oh, so you both agree I'm an idiot now. What a fucking amazing best friend you turned out to be, Andre. First you fall in love with my girl, then you spend your time writing her songs and trash talking me to get her," you shot back. "I have to tell you though, if that was your plan to win her over, it completely backfired on you. Yeah, she left me, but she ran straight into Ryder's arms. I might be an idiot, but I got her for years. You? You can't even get her on a fucking rebound," you added venomously.
It was a horrible thing to say. You knew Andre had a lot of insecurity issues regarding his future and relationships. You knew those words would hurt him, but you wanted him to hurt too. There was something inside of you that made you feel like you were being torn apart, a feeling that only left for a second to allow you to feel an emptiness that made you numb, causing the pain to feel greater when the hurt, jealousy and anger returned full force.
Nobody could understand how horrible it felt, except Andre.
Andre could understand because he loved Jade too. It might even be worse for him, because not only did he love her when she was unavailable and in love with his best friend, but she had chosen a different guy to love when she finally allowed herself to break that relationship off. It was one of the worst feelings in the world to love somebody who will never love you back.
Of course, it's nothing compared tofinding the love of your life, only to lose them to someone else.
Even now, with all the anger and hurt running through you, the last rational part of your brain begged you to fight for her. It screamed at you to win her back, because you would never find another girl like her. It shouted that your relationship couldn't end here. You had goals, dreams and plans to fulfill together. You had an entire life left to experience with each other.
But your pride wouldn't let you. You couldn't fight off the feeling of being replaced. She had fucking replaced you with Ryder Daniels. Your pride reminded you of how mean she could be, how difficult she could be, and that there were millions of girls in the world who would be easier to handle. How wounded your ego got every time she didn't trust you, because come on, you had been committed to her for years and she still didn't trust you. If after all this time she still didn't have faith in you, then nothing you did was ever going to change that. Maybe it was better that you ended it all, let her try her luck with the player instead. Let her see how bad of a boyfriend you were while she's with Ryder. If anything, he'll make you look like a saint.
"Really, man? Are you serious right now? You're not just an idiot, you're an asshole. That was never my intention, I was just trying to talk to her to make sure things were cool after that whole video drama," he defended himself.
"Oh, I'm sure you were. I'm sure you were nothing but innocent in your conversation with her. Guess what man, whatever you told her, it only made both of us lose her, so fucking congratulations on that," you spat out the words to him.
"Fuck you, Beck. I never tried to get her, because I respected you and your relationship too much to ever try and mess with either one. Even though I love her, I was too loyal to our friendship to do anything about it, see, those kinds of things actually matter to me. But since you're so sure that's what I wanted all along, I guess I'll try my luck at her now. I don't owe you anything anymore, and I sure as hell don't have any reason to hold back against Ryder. Jade; she deserves way better than an asshole who's too much of a coward to fight for her, or another one who will more than likely only break her heart," he stated, anger and determination in his tone.
"Oh, and Beck, next time you might want to check your text messages and realize you can use your head for more than just fixing your stupid hair , maybe that way you won't lose any more people who actually give a damn about you," he finished, before turning around and walking away.
You walked towards a bench in a secluded area, and dropped your bag next to you. You pulled your cellphone out of your pocket and went straight to your unread messages, trying to figure out what the hell Andre was talking. The more you read and scrolled down, the more you wish you hadn't.
You really fucking wished you hadn't.
You read as his messages apologized to you for falling in love with her, as he assured you that regardless of his feelings, you were his best friend and he would never try to take her away from you. You read as he offered to stay away from her if that made you more confident in him, and how he truly wished you weren't all stuck in this awkward situation.
Then you read his warnings, informing you he had a conversation with Jade and that she seemed very confused. Letting you know she was hurt, and the reasons she had given him, so that you could fix your relationship with her before it was too late. He warned you that Ryder was getting to her, making her doubt you and that if you didn't do something fast, you would lose her. He was wishing you luck, and giving you all you needed to save your relationship, while you had been a horrible friend to him.
You really were an asshole.
You threw your phone to the side, not caring where it ended up at and cursing whoever decided that mobile phones and text messages where necessary. You felt your self-pity swallowing you as you finally understood why Jade had done what she did. It grew even more as you remembered all the things you had said to Andre as well, who had done nothing more than be a loyal friend to you, regardless of his own feelings.
He was right, you didn't deserve him as a friend, and you definitely didn't deserve Jade either.
You somehow managed to lose your best friend and your girlfriend in the span of twenty-four hours.
Well, wasn't this just a lovely day?
"Beck," a voice you would recognize anywhere in the world, called out to you.
You were brought out of your trance when your eyes snapped up to meet with icy blue ones.
Jade West, finally facing you.
Beck&Jade Jade&Beck
"How did you know I'd be here?"
"You always come here when you're stressed," she answered softly
She was sitting next to you on the bench, surrounded by beautiful plants around you. This was the most secluded area in school, located at the edge of the botanical garden that Hollywood Arts had. This was wrong, Jade was being nicer than she ever had before. It was almost as if she felt pity for you over ending your relationship.
"So, yesterday when we got to school you were my girlfriend, and today your Ryder's," you stated.
"I know, and I'm sorry." She answered back, sorrow filling her voice.
"Don't do this, Jade."
"I have to, I can't handle being with you anymore."
"Babe, we've been together for years, and now you all of a sudden don't love me anymore?" You couldn't stop the disbelief from entering your voice.
"You know I love you more than anything, that was never the problem," she answered back.
"Then talk to me, so we can fix this."
"It shouldn't take me breaking up with you for me to finally get you to talk about us," she shot back, hurt evident in her voice.
"What are you talking about, you know you can always talk to me about anything," you defended yourself.
"That's a lie! You don't talk to me anymore, you're always in your own little world. I don't think you even care that I'm breaking up with you. In fact, I think it's only your ego that's bruised because I left you for Ryder," she shot back. Both of your tones were getting louder as your argument escalated.
"So now you think that I don't love you? What more do I need to do to prove to you that I do, that I'm fucking loyal and committed to you?"
"Right," she answered sarcastically. "So fucking committed that you never say you love me unless I beg for it. So loyal that you flirt with other girls the second I'm not around. And don't even try to deny it."
"You can't be serious right now. You know that I only love you. That you're the only one that makes me happy."
"But that's it! You're happy, but I'm not anymore! I feel fucking miserable and you don't notice it, or don't care enough to help me fix it!"
"Because you don't talk to me, how am I supposed to know how you feel if you don't tell me?" you defended yourself.
"Because you don't fucking listen! Everyone thinks I'm the cold one, but it's you! You're the one who makes me be this way, because you can fucking tear me apart and you know that!" she yelled at you, and her voice cracked as tears filled her eyes.
You froze that instant, when you saw the way her eyes filled with tears that spilled down her cheeks. This wasn't like the time you had kissed Tori, or the time you didn't take her back when she dumped you because your ego was too bruised and you wanted her to hurt too.
You finally broke her.
You had pushed and shoved and relied so much on the fact that she was so strong, that you forgot she was just a seventeen year old girl. She was full of insecurities and doubts and had so many issues since before you even met her that you had to be careful with her. She needed someone to support and love her unconditionally, she had such a dark outlook on life, that she needed somebody to listen to her and show her there was happiness in the world, something better, more hope than what she saw. She needed someone to prove to her that real love existed.
That hadn't been you in a long time.
"I love you, Beck, and I probably always will, but I can't do this anymore. I can't stay with you and continue to be miserable, just because I love you. You're pulling me down, and I can't let you do that anymore. We've been together so long, that I forgot there were other people besides just us two. I'm finally giving somebody else the chance to make me happy, please don't mess this up for me," she pleaded.
In a completely unexpected move, she wrapped her arms around your neck and hugged you close to her. You instantly tightened your arms around her waist and pulled her closer, pressing her more against you than was physically possible.
"I love you, Beck, but I have to do this. If you love me, even a bit of what you claim, let me go. Please, just let me try to be happy," she whispered in your ear.
You're heart broke, and despair coursed through you when she pressed a peck to your lips as a last goodbye, before untangling herself from your arms and all but running away.
So, this was how you ended? With her running away into the arms of another guy?
No.
Understand finally poured down on you. Finally.
It had never been about what she did, but about what you did.
Were you really about to let the girl you love walk away? Were you really just going to sit here and let her leave, when you still had a chance to win her back? Was your pride and reputation that important to you? She asked you to let her go, because she knew if you fought for her she would stay.
She would always stay, as long as you gave her a real reason to.
Which you hadn't done in a long time.
She didn't believe you loved her? You would fucking tell her and prove it until she got tired of hearing it and ordered you to shut up because you sounded like a sap.
She wanted to be happy? You would work to make her as happy as she could be, as long as she gave you a chance to redeem yourself to her.
But before anything else, you had to get her back, no matter what it took to do so.
Jade&Beck Beck&Jade
It was finally done. Beck&Jade were no more, over.
After your conversation with Beck, you took a few minutes to compose yourself before making your way back to Ryder. He was still waiting at the lunch table, and smiled widely when he noticed you were back. You know he had been nervous that Beck would convince you to take him back when you talked to him.
You didn't.
You knew you really needed this. You needed a new chance at happiness, and currently, Ryder was your best option. Sure, you might have a broken heart at the moment, but time heals all wounds, right? Well, you would soon find out just how true or false that statement was.
"You ready to go," Ryder asked you when you finally reached his table. You didn't miss the double meaning in his words, and answered him honestly.
"Yeah, I think I am." His smile grew, and a small one formed on your lips. He started grabbing both of your bags when you heard your name being yelled out, and you noticed everyone's attention suddenly fell on you. Looking around, you finally understood why.
Beck was running towards you. Like a jackass.
His hair was flopping around in the wind; his face was red and his eyes wide.
He didn't stop until he was standing right in front of you, and he placed his hands on your shoulders to keep you in place. This did not sit well with Ryder, who quickly pushed him away from you and threw an arm around your shoulders, pressing you against him and away from Beck.
"Stay away from my girlfriend, Oliver. You lost her, and now she's mine," he threatened him. Beck narrowed his eyes at him, but other than that completely ignored him. Instead, he turned to you and looked straight into your eyes with an intensity that made you shiver. You know that Ryder noticed it as well, because he tightened his grip on you, just a little bit harder.
"I'm an asshole. I'm cold and I let my pride and ego decide for me. I take advantage of the fact that you love me to be able to do whatever the hell I want, because I know you're always true to me. I flirt with other girls to make my ego grow, even though they don't mean anything. I wait for you to fix all of our problems, because I know you care. I act like I don't care, and I don't show you how much I love you and how much you mean to me anywhere near as much as I should. I'm an idiot, and I don't deserve you, but I'm asking you to take me back," he finished.
This was not happening. You could handle leaving cold and distant Beck, no problem. Caring and sorry Beck had stepped in and only made things way harder.
"I can't, Beck. You and I, we're a never ending cycle. I can't go back to that. Sure, you love me now, but how long will it be until we fall back into the same old routine? I can't do that anymore," you answered him, desperately wanting him to understand and let you go.
He took a step closer to you, and Ryder pushed you slightly behind him.
"Jade, I get it now. I finally understand why we couldn't really fix everything before. It wasn't what you did, it was me. It was always me who messed up and went about everything in the wrong way. I'm sorry, babe. I'm so sorry and I love you so much that I just need you to believe in me one more time to prove it to you. Just one more time, Jade, one last chance to save us," he pleaded. You looked into his eyes and saw all the honestly and sincerity, love and adoration, combined with the fear that reflected on them.
You're heart broke even more, as well as your resolve.
You looked away from Beck, and into Ryder's saddened, but understanding eyes. You couldn't do this to Ryder, could you? Ryder who had finally gotten the girl, Ryder who smiled this morning when he had your coffee. Ryder who paid the cashier extra to put caramel in the hot liquid because he knew of your secret love for caramel. Ryder who greeted your mother saying, "Good morning Miss. West, I came to pick up your gorgeous daughter and take her to school." Ryder who held the door open for you. Ryder who did things without asking, who smiled when you caught him looking at you. Ryder, the big, tough, senior who had ditched his friends to be with you here.
"It's ok, Jade. I understand," he told you in a soft tone. Your eyes filled with unshed tears, because you knew you were breaking his heart, and he didn't deserve it. You wrapped your arms around him and whispered how sorry you were into his ear, before pressing a kiss to his lips.
It was both a goodbye and a thank-you, a final farewell to a boy who could give you everything in the world, except what you wanted most.
"Ryder, I…" You whispered into his chest. You breathed him in for the last time.
"I understand, Jade." He repeated. "I'll never stop loving you." He whispered into your ear, arms holding you tightly.
"I'll never forget you did this for me."
"You love and then you let them go."
"I hope someday soon you'll find someone who loves you back."
"I hope so too."
A low growl broke your conversation and something pulled your sharply by the arm. Beck was finally staking his claim on you, like some kind of primal beast. You would have smiled if you didn't actually harbor some feelings for Ryder. You watched as both guys stared each other down, before Ryder finally shook his head and walked away with his head held high. Even if he had lost, he had fought with all he had for what he loved, and there was no shame in that. Ryder will forever be the first guy to tell you "I love you, Jade." That much, no matter how much you tried to deny it, Beck couldn't take away from him. You watched him leave, the right boy in the wrong time and then turned your attention to the one gripping your arm tightly.
"I thought I had lost you," he confessed.
"I thought you were really going to let me walk away," you countered softly.
"Oh, Jade. It took me so long to understand, but I promise you that I'm never going to let you again," he assured you.
"Good, this is our last chance, Beck. If you ever do this again, I'm not coming back," you answered him honestly. Then proceeded to add, "And I'm kicking your ass before I go."
He smiled at you, before pulling you into a kiss. You kissed him back, and you felt how your heart began to piece itself together once again. It wasn't healed yet, and it needed a lot of work before things were really fine between the two of you, but you knew that together you would get there.
"I love you, Jade," he told you once your lips separated to allow each other to breathe.
"I know, and I love you, too, Beck," you answered him.
You could never forget Ryder or Andre but you could never live without Beck. You finally understood that while you could be happy with somebody else, you didn't want to. You wanted love, you wanted Beck, and it didn't matter how hard you had to work for it. He was worth it, this was worth it. This was something you could never live without.
You didn't have your father's love and you weren't his little girl anymore. Your mother had told you Beck could never give you what you lost and she was right. Beck gave you so much more.
Skeptic 3; Jade; love.
And that was all that really mattered to you anyway. Beating your mother, that was just a bonus.
Beck&Jade Jade&Beck
AN: Okay, so this was a long time in the making, like, too long. Thanks to my EPIC beta Kris, aka imlaughingnow for making this fic way awesomer than I ever could by myself. I hope you guys enjoyed a peak into the completely weird but awesome way we come up with ideas for fics ;)
Also, updates for my open fics coming VERY soon! Paradox included.
PS- Changed my twitter account, now I'm on jandra2012
Now, be dears and review us, tell us what you think!
We really worked our butts off for this one =)
-LeleD2010