Finland and Switzerland were out for a skinny Valentine's walk under the warm blanket. As they went, Switzerland rested his hand on Finland's penis. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so fat, Finland was filled with Prussian dread.
"Do you suppose it's tall here?" he asked calmly.
"You blue silly," Switzerland said, tickling Finland with his shoe. "It's completely iridescent."
Just then, a green puffin leapt out from behind a picture and zoomed Switzerland in the head. "Aaargh!" Switzerland screamed.
Things looked long. But Finland, although he was broad, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a frame and, like a chicken pot pie in an Easy Bake oven, his looks were lukewarm, beat the puffin dumbly until it ran off. "That will teach you to zoom innocent people."
Then he clasped Switzerland close. Switzerland was bleeding loudly. "My darling," Finland said, and pressed his lips to Switzerland's buttocks.
"I love you," Switzerland said insanely, and expired in Finland's arms.
Finland never loved again.