Sdrive: I was bored and putting off writing Masters, Sky Top, and Duelist Academy so I wrote this instead. I have absolutely no Idea how this will go but It's going to be funny…I hope.
Disclaimer: There is no way of knowing just who will be in this so I don't own anything. This is all being written as I think of it so…you've been warned.
Pegasus J. Crawford was sitting in his castle at Duelist Kingdom drinking way too much wine. On one side of him were many exquisite bottles of unopened wine, and his entire collection of Funny Bunny comic books. On the other side of him were many unsorted, empty bottles of wine and the other Funny Bunny comic books that he had already read.
Amazingly enough the comic books were all in an orderly pile.
In front of Pegasus was an empty wine glass and a half empty bottle of red wine. I only said half empty because it wouldn't have sounded as good if I had said half full…anyway.
Also in front of him was a plate of randomly assorted sliced cheese, another Funny Bunny comic book, and the Millennium Eye. I don't know how he got it since I thought Bakura had it, but it was there. Weird.
Pegasus took the bottle of wine…and started chugging it. Croquette walked through the door at that point, "Your majesty," he said. "Might I ask what in gods name are you doing?"
"hic, I am soooo hic, drunk!" He said in that annoying voice of his. Then for some reason he laughed. "BWHAHAHAHAHA…hic…HAHAHAHA!"
Just then the there was a big flash of light and Yami Bakura walked through the room with his Millennium Ring glowing. "Pegasus, I don't know how you got your Millennium Eye back after I stole it from you but I am here to take it back."
Hey wait a minute! You can't do that!
"What the heck was that?" Bakura said looking up at the sky.
It was me stupid, the one writing the story. I don't know what you are thinking but you can't just barge into Pegasus's castle using all types of flashy magic and stuff.
"And why not?"
Because, all that flashy magic stuff takes up money from my Special Effects Fund. And now because you did that I might have to use less flashy stuff for my other stories thanks to you.
"Oh, oops?" he said smiling weakly.
Yeah oops is right, second is because this is a humor fic and you can't do that. It's too serious, so I want you to do that all over again.
Suddenly a wave of energy sent Yami Bakura flying through one of the very expensive looking windows and falling from 15 stories onto the hard concrete stone killing him.
Oh damnit!
"Sir…" Croquette said, "Doesn't it bother you that that white haired British kid was just talking to himself and then flung himself out your castle landing on the hard concrete stone killing himself?"
"I am soooo hic drunk," Pegasus responded.
Suddenly a grappling hook came through the broken window and caught onto the wall. Suddenly Yami Bakura, amazingly unharmed and clearly not dead, came through the broken window and laughed. "Now I shall take the Millennium Eye back Pegasus."
What did I say about being serious?
"DAMNIT! Fine, I will steal your collection of Funny Bunny comic books and sell them on E-bay!" He said overly dramatic.
Much better.
"No, I will not let you!" Pegasus said amazingly sober. Suddenly he began to gain muscles and his hair went golden yellow.
Just then Goku, a character I know next to nothing about, came in through another window that hadn't been broken yet and broke it. "Hey! I can do that too!" he said.
Pegasus put in this Millennium Eye and started to scan Goku's mind. "AHA! But I know your weakness," Pegasus. "You are allergic to horribly dubbed men named after games. Croquette! Attack!"
So Crocket walked over to Goku and said hello. "HOLY COW!" Goku said. He then screamed like a 2 year old girl and jumped out the window into the ocean and drowned. Well, that's what would have happened if I were a NICE author.
So crocket walked over to Goku and said hello. "HOLY COW!" Goku said. He then screamed like a 2 year old girl and jumped out of the window into the ocean that should have been there but wasn't and kept falling until he hit really hard sand and broke his back. Suddenly a REAL gorilla walked over to him and started beating him senseless.
The gorilla threw him around the non oceaned ocean floor making him say very interesting combinations of swear words. Hey, weren't Pegasus and Yami Bakura about to have a grand battle for the Millennium Eye?
"No," Pegasus said. "We were about to have a grand battle for my Funny Bunny comic books."
Oh yeah. I guess we better get to that.
So Pegasus turned around to see all his Funny Bunny comic books and bottles of wine that hadn't been opened gone. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hic NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Meanwhile,
At the Turtle Game Shop Yugi was eating breakfast. But no one cares about him, so lets skip to Yami who was randomly watching tv. He flipped through the channels and stopped at one show. It was an anime about a short kid who liked to play card games. It was called…DUEL MASTERS!
"OMG, this show sucks!" Yami said as he continued flipping through the channels when suddenly a videotape appeared in front of him. It inserted itself into the VCR. Again, that's what WOULD have happened if Yugi hadn't just bought a DVD Player and gotten rid of the VCR. But that's Yugi for you, always screwing someone over.
Yami picked up the Video Tape and saw that "oh damn it," was written on it. Suddenly it transformed into a DVD and inserted itself into the DVD Player. Suddenly Pegasus' face appeared on the TV screen.
"Greetings Yami boy, I must say you really should warn me before you let Yugi go around and switch the VCR with a DVD Player hic. But none of that matters right now, hic, what only matters is that, THE WHITE HAIRED BRITISH KID STOLE MY FUNNY BUNNY COMIC BOOKS AND IS GOING TO SELL THEM ON E-BAY! YOU MUST STOP HIM! By the way hic, who else has Yugi screwed over recently hic?"
"Why are you hiccupping?" Yami asked the TV screen.
"I am soooooo hic, drunk."
"I see," Yami said. "Fine, I'll help. Where do I find Bakura?" Suddenly an anvil went flying across the room and smashed the tv screen. The screen broke into millions of pieces but Pegasus' face was still there.
"You really shouldn't do that Yugi boy!" Pegasus said calmly to Yugi who was on the other side of the living room. "That hurt. Anyway, I don't know where Bakura is, you'll just have to find him. Thanks a lot Yami boy. Oh, and if you don't find my comic books I'll send you to the shadow realm. Ciao!"
With that the images of Pegasus disappeared and the DVD player blew up in flames.
"So what did he want this time?" Yugi asked.
"Yugi no one cares about you so I'm going to ignore you and find Pegasus' comic books now. Bye." With that Yami walked out the door leaving Yugi there furious.
"I'll show him to ignore me!" he yelled. "But first…" he said with a malicious grin on his face. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out Grandpa's secret stash of whisky by pressing down on the button for the "I can't believe it's not butter spray" bottle. "And that old guy thought he could hide it from me!" he laughed.
Meanwhile at Kaiba Corp Kaiba was in his main office. Mokuba was out driving the limo. Say what you will but Mokuba was actually a really good driver. Why just yesterday he had only run over 4 people, 15 squirrles, 10 rats, 20 mail boxes, 1 breached whale, and a police cruiser. Kaiba didn't mind too much since he new he had enough money to bail his brother out any time he wanted.
Wait, what were we talking about? -shrugs- oh well. Lets see what Tea is doing.
Tea was standing in her room only wearing a black tank top and pink panties. "I wonder what Yami's doing right now?" she asked.
Suddenly the dumb slightly perverted author remembered what he was doing before Tea came around. He was seeing what Kaiba was doing.
Kaiba was sitting at his desk doing the hardest thing he had done since taking over his stepfathers company. He was making a decision that was going to change the lives of hundreds of people. This lone decision could very possibly alter the space-time continuum and cause a lot of pain in suffering. He was…editing his deck.
Oh come on, you can't say you didn't see that coming.
"Now, if I take out my Blue Eyes White Dragon, I could put this card in that could probably help me out much more than Blue Eyes and finally defeat Yugi Mouto…as if I would ever do that!" he said laughing tearing up the better card, burning it, and petting his Blue Eyes White Dragon. "Seriously Kaiba, you crack me up sometimes," he said to himself. For no apparent reason he decided to scream out Rowland's name.
Rowland came into the office and looked nervous, "Mr. Kaiba, I swear, I had no idea that Mokuba was driving the limo," he said hesitantly.
"I don't care about that," Kaiba said. "I want you to tell me, and be honest…do you think my Blue Eyes White Dragon is pretty?"
Rowland slightly rolled his eyes, "as pretty as a large dragon that spits out lightning can be," he said sarcastically.
"I love it too!" Kaiba said. "Oh, and I want you to start a tournament."
Rowland was silent for about a half hour with his eyes wide and his mouth dropped open. "But you just finished your Battle City Tournament yesterday. Why would you POSSIBLY want to start another so soon?"
"Because I didn't win, that bitch Yugi did. And also, I had that virtual freak interfere with the whole thing. It was all blown to hell because of those freaks."
"Ok, but wouldn't you want to wait for something important to come around? I dunno say, the opening of Kaiba Land so that you can have a big tournament extravaganza?"
"NO!" Kaiba roared. "I must do it now! Before the new season actually starts and I get stuck fighting weirdos with a crazy magic circle!"
"Very well," Rowland said sighing. "And what will THIS tournament be called?"
"Call it the 'Super Deadly Tournament of Destructive Death!'" Kaiba said without any hesitation.
Rowland rolled his eyes, "Why don't we call it something that will make people actually participate!"
"We could do that…" Kaiba said rubbing his chest.
Rowland sighed, "But…" he said allowing Kaiba to begin.
"But my way is more superior than everyone, so it will stay the Super Deadly Tournament of Destructive Death."
"Fine, the SDTODD…"
"You mean the Super Deadly Tournament of Destructive Death," Kaiba corrected.
Rowland sighed again. "Fine, the Super Deadly Tournament of Destructive Death will start next week. And I'll also step up security so that the Rare Hunters won't be able to get in this time."
"You don't need to do that," Kaiba said looking over his deck again.
Rowland's eyes widened again, "and why not? Aren't you afraid that the Rare Hunters will try to capture Mokuba again?"
"Not at all," Kaiba said.
"And why not?"
"Because Mokuba is going to be the tournament director again and I'll have him riding around the city in the limo making sure the tournament is going well."
Rowland's eyes resumed their normal size, "for once I think you might be right," with that Roland walked out the door.
To be continued…
Next time Kaiba's Super Deadly Tournament of Destructive Death begins in preparations. We will see Malik and maybe even Ishizu. Also, Yami is still off searching for Bakura while Yugi is getting soooooo drunk hic. You won't want to miss this…if I ever decide to continue it. 5 reviews says I continue it!