A/N: C.C.C.: You do it!
C.M.: You!
C.C.C.: You!
C.M.: -.-, fine. She doesn't own it, and if she did, you just know that the seasons'd be longer and Slade would've yelled PWNED! some time during the series, just for the hell of it.
C.C.C.: Got that right. On with the story.
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OUT OF THE FRYING PAN AND INTO THE FIRE
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Teen Titans
'Cookie Cutter Crumble!!' The villain's voice rang out like a bell in the hot summer's day, Jump's gorgeous blue sky suddenly filling with hot dirt and asphalt. The mixture of cookie dough and what seemed (and smelled) to be tarmac for chocolate chips attacked the Titans once more, the giant gingerbread thing swallowing Beast Boy whole.
'Dude!!' he yelled as it took him up by his legs and shoved him into it's mouth, the giant grotesque jaw working in what one could only assume to be chomping manoeuvres. With a loud GULP! Beast Boy was down on the ground again, covered in the strange cookie recipe. After shaking himself from the noxious dough, he ran back towards the Titans, who were sweltering in the heat of late summer, summer that should have become autumn by now.
Robin lifted his head to view the 'cookie', and shook it. Sometimes Jump had the weirdest villains. A smile spread across his face. But then again, the superheroes could always put them to the test in weirdness too. An alien, half-demon, green guy, half-human half-robot and a circus boy. Boy, did they win in the weirdness contest.
'Titans, Go!' the battle call sounded loudly, and they all leapt into action quickly, rushing towards their destination. The old woman beside the cookie just laughed, pointing her extremely large mixing spoon at the Titans and yelling, 'Get 'em, sweet cheeks!' to the giant cookie thing. She laughed again and her skin swished about in layers on her face after the movement, a view of which would certainly require at least an 'ewww'.
With another swish of her overly large spoon, this time falling across her overly large and equally dirty apron, the cookie thing was trying to stick the Titans to each other with its doughy hands, as they fought to subdue it somehow.
A swing of a certain brightly-coloured clad person's Bo staff later and the monster's head was cut off, and its hands slumped to its side – for al of two seconds. The Cookie Woman laughed and swung her spoon again, causing the two heaps of dough to become cookie things once again. They lunged at the Titans whilst the old saggy woman kept laughing. It would seem that Jump Asylum needed a new resident.
This time they went about it in a more… favourable fashion. Cyborg yelled, attacking it with his sonic cannon (and yes, the yell was a certain favoured phrase beginning with 'boo' and ending with 'ya') whilst Starfire pummelled it with starbolts. Raven and Beast Boy were annihilating their's too, Ravens dark magic coursing through the 'chips' (AKA asphalt) of the cookie, forcing it to begin imploding whilst Beast Boy was attacking it in his Tyrannosaurus Rex form, attempting to take a bite out of the cookie dough.
Robin leapt through the air and slammed into the old woman with a jump kick to the chest, and she landed panting on the ground. Steel-toed boots walked on the compact dirt, sending dust everywhere and Robin bent to pick up the 'spoon' with a single gloved hand. The old woman coughed again and looked up at the Boy Wonder.
'Looks like your 'Cookie Monster' has been put away, and I think that it's about time that you took a visit to Sesame Street too, Mrs. Cookie.' He glanced up at her before snapping the spoon on his right leg, bringing it up in a powerful motion. The Cookie monsters instantly melted into nothingness again, the heads that had been reforming spluttering on the ground.
After the police had come and picked up the Cookie Woman, and the Titans sat watching, Beast boy began coughing on the ground, drawing all of the Titan's attention. 'Dude! I just realised! That crazy lady musta used eggs! That means that I swallowed eggs! Aw, man, dead animal babies!! And raw ones, too! I could get salmonella!!' He began spitting on the ground again, holding his throat as he did so.
Raven smiled, 'Sewer water or dead raw animal babies?' she asked leaning over him, causing him to look up at her into her purple eyes.
He looked at her curiously before grinning broadly and saying, 'Sewer water any day, Rae,' then erupting into laughter. Raven smiled, and all of the Titans were soon at least chuckling.
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Slade
Slade was not a happy bunny. Indeed, getting your rear end handed to you by a bunch of children did not seem to be something that happy bunnies had happen to them. Therefore, it was only natural that Slade was not a happy bunny.
He was currently in his new hideout, working on computers and accessing security cameras, trying to figure out certain things that would help him in his mission.
His mission? To put it simply: Retrieve Robin and teach and train him (and other more violent things, if the boy saw fit to not obey) to perfection.
But of course that required things. Like a plan, for instance.
Yet Slade could be a very happy bunny when it came to things like formulating plans. And so he was becoming one, as he watched the Titans defeat their newest, seemingly most pathetic villain, and old hag with a mystical spoon. Perhaps she had something to do with Mumbo or Mod. It didn't matter; they all fell under the idiot category together.
Now, he had been creating this plan for some time, and it was already in the first stage, something that the Titans were clueless about. But they were children, and were probably too young to realise that certain changes in the weather could actually be a sign of a villain.
But boy this was one of the times where ignorance could be a pretty big kicker.
He tapped the keyboard again, watching Robin sail into the foolish woman and smiling. The boy was keeping up, and didn't seem to have grown very week in Slade's few months' absence. He had gone to an older hideout before returning to this one, one were he had made his plan into a reality, one that would soon affect the Titans through death or the loss of their leader.
Now since the first one would kill Robin along with them, it was simply unacceptable. But of course Robin couldn't live without his friends, but Slade had known that they were willing to take dumb risks. The answer to such things? The same that he had last time with his bomb in the ground (which the lovely Titans had decided to dismantle, even if it did take them several days, and they were very lucky that Slade had decided that since Robin was the one dismantling it he wouldn't turn it on). Drag civilians into it.
He smiled. The Titans wouldn't know what hit them. Chuckling, he to watch the few cameras on the screen, searching for a hidden answer in their mysteriously high quality pixels. And as he thought back to his old plan he thought back to his old 'assistants', and wondered what had become of Faust.
And how he could make Faust become nothing but ash in Jump City's 'heat wave'. The man was probably lurking around somewhere, trying to track Slade. He wouldn't find him, of course. Slade had hidden himself deep into Jump (somewhere air conditioned, yes), and taken care not to give off any clues of his whereabouts.
It was simply impossible.
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Teen Titans / Starfire
Starfire laughed as she drank mustard on top the Tower, quite happily enjoying the chilled mustard that she had put ice cream into to make cold. It tasted lovely, too. She liked things that mixed sweet so happily with 'yum'. She picked up another slice of pizza and began munching it, laughing as she heard Beast Boy tell another joke.
No one else laughed, and Robin reached for another slice too. He wasn't looking, and their hands fell onto the same piece, and she blushed, immediately grabbing another slice and downing it in one Tameranian gulp. Robin offered her the slice that he had taken, and with a smile she quickly relinquished his grasp on it.
Beast Boy was examining a Salt and Vinegar potato chips bag, amazed at how it wasn't 'suitable for vegetarians' whilst Cyborg laughed and ate large amounts. Raven sat and sipped iced tea, Beast Boy's idea.
'So, Cy, what d'you think, as soon as the sun sets, Mega Monkeys 4? I'm gonna beat you down to the ground…' Beast Boy said still watching Cyborg eat the potato chips.
Cyborg grinned, 'You're going down, Grass Stain. I'd like to see you try to beat me.' He laughed happily at that.
Beast Boy's eyes narrowed, but for once he stayed silent as he ate another slice of the pepper pizza laid out in front of him. Robin had decided that since they ate as much of it, there was no need arguing and Cyborg and Beast Boy should eat just get their own pizzas. So they did, and whilst he had Green Peppers and Tofu, Cy had the Mega Meaty Monster Deluxe.
There was another smile from him as he watched the sun set with his friends, wondering what tomorrow would have in store.
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A/N: Gah… I'm dead…
I couldn't stay away forever, you knew that, right?
I knew that you did. I just kept holding it out. I'll try to update on the weekend, dudes. Right now I gotta go and pass out.
Oh yea, the fluff monster did eat my brain.
XD
Sorry for mistakes and fuzz.