-1The Malfoys were a perfectly ordinary pureblood wizard family thankyouverymuch, and so participated in perfectly ordinary pureblood recreation. This included torturing mudbloods and stupid muggles. However today was not destined to be a ordinary day.
Lucius Malfoy ,who shall for now on be referred to a Lucy, was not having a good day, He could not keep his overly long hair straight for the life of him. To a pureblood, looking like a transvestite was everything! THIS WAS A DISASTER!!! "O.K Malfoy, things will get better, keep cool…" This was his mantra as he went to the kitchen. He sat down as any ordinary pureblood would, like he had a stick up his ass, and snapped his fingers… nothing happened. This would not do, he was after all a pureblood. All should bow down to him! Commoners bowed down to him in the streets! The Minister of Magic was under his thumb, even Death Eaters bowed before him. But his favorite punching elf was freed…How Dare his servants leave???
But… He bowed to his master didn't he? What happened to the Malfoy motto "Malfoys bow to no one? 'I do not bow to my master' thought Lucy ' I grovel' ah yes of course you do Lucy… GO DENIAL!!!
"OWIE!!!" Lucy, in a very un-pureblood like position, grabbed his arm and screamed like a little girl. He apparated to his master who he did NOT bow to.
"Ah, hello Lucy" hissed Lord Moldyshorts… um Moldywart… Voldymart.. VOLDEMORT THATS IT!!! "Where is it"
"What my lord" Asked the still groveling Lucy
"The Cane!!!"
"What cane sir?"
"The pimpin' cane Lucy, Where is it!"
'ah St I broke that with Draco a few weeks ago… Man today is Fked up… "My lord I broke it"
" You failed me Lucy Crucio" 'Damn, now how am I supposed to make my death eaters submit to my control???"
"Its simple sir…. Torture them"
Moldyshorts stood up and summoned his Death nibblers…. I mean eaters EATERS!! Anyhwho Mr. I-Have-An-Overly-Long-Hyphenated-Name called them to him and said " I have grave news everyone" his gender confused crowed looked fearful.. "Lucy broke his pimp cane and I can not use it now…"
Silence…
" So I am going to torture you all instead!!! CRUCIO!!!"
The curse hit everyone's favorite bitch… Bellatrix Lestrange who shall now be called Belee (bell-E)! WHOO!!
Strangely though, instead of the screaming everyone expected… she started giggling like a Lockheart fangirl.
"Why do you not scream Bellee?"
"I enjoy pain my lord.."
"…"
Voldie decided to be creative and used a tickling charm… and Bellee screamed!
The dark loser was happy so naturally someone else was not…
"Lucy… find Harry Potter"
"Yes my Lord…"
AT THE DURSLYS…
Lucy appeared next to the house and saw potter on the lawn
"Come with me Potter" Now Potter would come with him… His word was law after all!!!
"No"
" Come! NOW!"
"No…"
"… I will be back shortly… stay here"
"K"
D.E Central
"Lucy, where is he?" asked Dr. Evil
" He is at his front lawn sir"
"I will get him"
BACK AT THE DURSLYS
Voldiemart appeared before Mr.Potter
"DIE!!!"
"ACCIO DUDLEY!"
Next think Voldemort knew a large… Thing crashed into him and his body is broken…the fat lard destroyed his body and soul. Did I mention Lucy was with him?
"Guess I found the power the dark Lord knows not…. Now for Pizza…"
END