So Tired, a bones fanfic

No copyright infringement intended.

She wonders what Booth will do when he gets here. She knows they've called him by now. It's not like she had meant to. Not at first anyway. She'd started with a shot glass, but then she decided the pouring took too much time and that she was feeling too much. She had never been good with emotions and she was just so tired. She was tired of the sadness, and the pain. She was tired of the malice and the murder, and she was tired of how tired she felt.

She knew Angela was worried. And Cam. And Hodgins. But Angela was the only one brave enough to say something. There was a time, before Sweets' book, before Maluku and Afghanistan and Hannah that Booth would have noticed… would have cared, but he was with Hannah now, and she wasn't a consolation prize, and she wasn't something he needed to be consoled over. And that thought hurt. And she was tired of that too.

She remembered that she had been given pills once that made her feel like a person of average intelligence. Booth had average intelligence and he navigated his emotions just fine. And maybe she wouldn't be so tired anymore.

Her eyes were hard to open and she couldn't help but think she had never seen Angela look so scared before. She wondered if Booth was ok. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. Angela's lips were moving but her words were lost in the shrill noise between Angela's lips and her ears. Her eyes searched for him but she only found a pair of unfamiliar eyes. A man in blue, she opened her mouth to speak again. "Booth?" but her eyelids were too heavy.

They had pumped her stomach, the taste of bile that had yet to dissipate told her that. Her mouth was dry, her throat was itchy.

Her eyes felt glued shut, so she didn't even try to open them. The itch in her throat was overwhelming her, and clearing her throat wasn't helping.

Then she started crying. She started crying because, she was frustrated, because ever since she was a little girl she knew this would happen, and as much as she tried to make herself believe that it didn't bother her, being alone hurt sometimes, and she was still so fucking tired.

The cold on her lips finally convinced her to open her eyes. Through the fog of unused eyes she saw Booth standing over her. His face was blank, and usually her determination of facial expressions weren't the best, but she was sure this time.

"Open." He commanded. The emotion not seen on his face could be heard in his voice and she knew he was angry.

Once there were no more ice chips to fill the silence he sat in the chair next to the bed and for the first time ever in their relationship, she was scared to make eye contact with him.

"The doctor says you have to stay overnight. For observation." She nodded her head. She'd figured.

"So… there are easier ways to die, Brennan." Her eyes snapped to his and even though she could see he was angry with her, he wasn't completely serious in the moment.

She could feel it when his mood changed back.

"You know better." He stated, but she knew he was looking for some sort of answer, but the shame and guilt she felt kept her from answering him. "When I was in Afghanistan… I was angry. I was angry at you, I was angry at me, basically everything, I kept asking God why and not getting any answers and I was just in a bad place, one day they sent us to the town and in the middle of the city there a suicide bomber with a deadman's switch in his hand and the other's guys distracted him while I took him down, it was a pretty standard take down, but in the back of my mind I was hoping maybe this one- anyway… I kept putting myself in dangerous situations, I knew better but I was so sick of it, then I met Hannah and things got better but, I still was angry at you… and I missed you. Anyway the point of this story is… I wanted to see you again and that's the reason I'm still here." There were tear streaks running down her cheeks.

"Temperance." He said putting a finger under her chin and turning her face to him. "You know better… so why'd you do it?"

She took a deep shuddering breath. "I was just so tired."

He shook his head in understanding.

"And alone, and lonely." That was the best way she could put it into words.

"Bones. You might have been lonely, but you weren't alone. You are surrounded by people who love you." He stood up and grabbed her hand "Visiting hours are over." She nodded, she was tired, but not the same type of tired that had been drowning her lately.

"Booth, will you take me home tomorrow?"

Booth chuckled. "Of course I will." He said giving her hand a squeeze. "And Temperance-" He leaned down to look into her eyes "When you're ready, you never have to be lonely again." He said, then kissed her cheek before smiling at her and leaving the room.

And for the first time in what felt like a very long time, she smiled.

A.N: Hope you enjoyed it.