Prologue:
Nice To Meet You~
When I was a kid, people called me weird. They called me other things too, like smart and curious; but mostly they called me weird. So as I enter High School; it doesn't surprise me much that I'm a weird teenager.
I've always hated school. Okay, that's a lie. I hate it now. I didn't hate it when I was a kid. I was too stupid to hate it. Most of us were. Sure I hated getting up in the morning and doing homework, but in those days, that didn't stop me from enjoying the big picture.
In those days I still thought grades showed intelligence. They don't. They show your ability to take orders and buzz around as a little worker bee. They show how easy it is for you to fit in and not question authority. They show how easy it is for you to think without thinking. They show how easily you, as a tiny cog, fit nicely into your place. This was the big picture; I go to school to get good grades because it shows how smart I am. I was wrong. I didn't know it. I was too stupid. We all were.
I was a stupid genius. I am a stupid genius. I was (am) no Einstein, but with an IQ of 139, I beat out most of the population. I'm smart because I put things together that my classmates will never be able to comprehend. I'm stupid because I don't know when to talk. I'm stupid because I get lost on a regular basis. I'm smart because I can judge people based on what they say and do; not on whom they know, what they're wearing and whom they're doing. I'm stupid because I only think about here and now. I'm smart because I only think about here and now.
Fourth grade was what turned me around. I had been heading in a promising direction. I'd have been the busiest of the worker bees. I'd have gotten strait "A's", or at least "B's". I'd have kept talking in class, regardless of what I had to say. I'd have kept trying to become part of the 'popular' clicks. And now, I'd be (most likely), a clone of the average student, with a future all planned out. I honestly cannot remember what turned me around (no matter how hard I try). I'm not even sure that it was one singular thing, or that I was aware of it at the time. I just know that it changed me forever.
It made me start thinking. That made me think before I talked. That made me think about the myriad of stupid things I'd said. That made me afraid to talk. It made me silent. It made it hard for people to get to know me. People don't like what they don't know.
It made me less stupid, in a sense. I count every sliver I'm able to mentally chop off of my metaphorical stupid block as I step closer to intelligence. I'm a genius. I'm not smart, but I'm a genius.
It made me think about the big picture, and even, start to wipe the canvas clean and start to paint my own picture. Fourth grade is where my grades started to slip. At first they slipped slowly, like when you roll down a hill, and you have to move yourself towards the slope to get going. The thing about hills; they're fun to roll down. They suck to walk up. I got tired and sat down about 60% up the hill.
I started staying home sick more often. I became a regular in the nurse's office. I didn't care about school. I don't care about school. I care about being smart.
I don't know what it was that changed me nearly five years ago, but I'm glad it did.
Stick around and wait up for the next chapter of:
Tank's Full But I'm Walking!
(I have over 8 chapters written, so just bare with me as I force myself to type them!)
:3