By the mastermind who brought you the talk show and fishy fishy here's heloves!!!!!:
Heloves: Well its simple I don't own Naruto or else everyone would be offended each and every week.
Hope you all enjoy this crazy story...
Yeah yeah starts off like many stories...
It had been three years since Naruto had left but he couldn't be more excited as he was returning to his home. He was now 16 was tall, mascular and well tanned idiot while Jiraiya was still the same old freak. Anyways they were outside the gates of Konoha chatting.
" Hey pervy sage do you think Sakura would go out with me?" asked Naruto.
" Nah she hates you."
" REALLY??" asked a puppy eyed Naruto.
" No you idiot well let's just go inside."
" Right."
So as soon as they entered the gates they found something really suprising. It was , it was...
" OH MY GOD IS SAKURA MAKING OUT WITH THAT ANKO CHICK??" asked Naruto.
" Yeah yeah must write for next booooooook..." as Jiraiya's nosebleed becomes too much and he passes out.
Then suddenly the two girls come running towards Naruto and Jiraiya.
" Hi Naruto."
" E-E-E llo S-S-Sakura." said Naruto sweatdropping heavingly.
" Naruto I have some good news... I'm gay!!"
With that she kissed her master, Anko.
Naruto could sense the relationship as Sakura is the bitch and Anko is the master so he was not so totally shocked.
" Man I wonder what else he would see that would destroy my world?"
Man he wished he wouldn't have said that cause as soon as he did Sasuke and Neji came out of nowhere holding hands and skipping merrily.
" NARU-KUN YOUR SAFE!!!" said Neji and Sasuke.
" Woah umm... why are you two holding hands??"
" Cause we're in love." said Sasuke loud and proud.
" W-W-WELL THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR!!!" said a nervous Naruto.
" You could join our group Naru-kun." said Neji winking at Naruto.
" First off no thanks ho, next I still love women."
In his mind...
"Thank god for the perverts in my life."
/Yeah kit our your fate would have been terrible./
" Tell me about it."
Back in the real world..
" Well good for you so how's everybody doing?" asked Naruto.
" Well Ino and Shizune are in love also, Shikamaru and Choji are trying to be the first gay couple to get married, oh and also Kiba and Shino are very wild did you know..."
" STOP PLEASE ...just let me know one thing."
" What Naru-kun?" asked Sasuke.
" Who's the woman in your relationship?"
" Well obviously its me." said Neji.
" No I thought I was it." said Sasuke.
" Ok before you get into a gay fight let's just say you both are gay lesbians all right?" said a disturbed Naruto.
" Ok bye Naru-kun!!" and with that the two lovers left.
After a while Naruto had gotten tired of grabbing Jiraiya so he dumped him into the bathroom little did he realise it was the gay bathroom and Jiraiya would pay a hefty price for being perverted.
Naruto was shocked first Anko and Sakura , then Neji and Sasuke with details of the rest till a certain red eyed woman bumped into him.
" Oh sorry ...umm.."
" Oh its Yuuhi Kurenai you know Hinata's sensei?"
" Oh I apologize Kurenai-san I didn't mean to just distracted."
What Naruto had failed to noticed was that she was looking at him with hunger in her eyes to just have her way with him. After all , Asuma was dead as Oroch and most guys were gay these days.
" So umm ... Naru-kun what do you think of these?" with that said Naruto drooled.
" Those mangos look good, Kurenai-san."
" Please call me Kurenai and would you like to taste one?"
" Can't I have both of them at the same time?"
" Sure if you wish."
" Ok thanks."
With that she gave him the two mangos, no you sick perverts , actual mangos geez. Anyways Naruto was walking with Kurenai talking about how somehow Konoha became the gayest village in the nation when out of nowhere he was tackled him.
" NARU-KUN YOUR SAFE!!!" with that said she had a big fan.
" TEMARI WHAT ARE YOU..." but before he could speak she kissed him making Kurenai very jealous.
" What are you doing, Gaara and Kankuro would kill me if they knew you kissed me."
" Thanks."
" What??"
" Oh Naru-kun you know we could have some fun in front of them."
" AHHH WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYBODY!!!" with that Naruto ran off to find Tsunade to see if she could help.
To be continued...
P.S. This freaking story came to me in a dream I don't know how but it just did so I had to write it. Don't worry everybody I will be on fanfiction giving a new chapter for each of my stories this week.