Reid's Valentine Kiss

A/N: This is my story for the CRIMINAL MINDS – 1ST WEEKLY PROMPT: On a very memorable night at a bar, some random person (can be canon or not) comes over to your main character (canon or not) and very unexpectedly, kisses them. I hope you like it. This story is told in the first person by Reid. 2/3/12

*Disclaimer - I own Nothing of Criminal Minds*

SUNDAY

Here it was once again, the most dreaded or the most romantic week of the year. It didn't matter how good you were, as in Santa's naughty or nice list. Nor, did it matter how fervently religious you were, as in seeking salvation or enlightenment. No! This was something else, entirely! If it were just one day, maybe I wouldn't mind so much, because officially, it was only the annual date of February 14th that was to be celebrated. Yet, it encompassed a whole week of misery for millions, possibly even billions of people just like me. You would think that by now, I'd be able to face this week of misery. Especially, when the hoopla begins a whole month in advance. Everywhere you look: Hearts, Teddy Bears, Kisses, and all kinds of other ridiculous things are suddenly romantic and red in colour. I hate it all!

The worst thing is that I can't even be seen looking miserable. If I did, I'd not only receive extra pity from my team mates, but I'd also be a major laughingstock even to strangers. Therefore, my approach to this Hell Week is to act like it doesn't bother me at all … that I don't have a wife, a fiancé, a girl friend. For crying aloud, I don't even have a fuck-buddy, as disgusting as that would be.

The other thing that pisses me off every single year is that I always forget to request this week off for vacation. Sometimes I think I must be the stupidest genius in the world. The most important thing that I lack is self-preservation. That's why it's always me who gets kidnapped and tortured, never the others on our team. Sure, I survive each time, but still! I'm tired of always putting other things ahead of my safety, and my heart.

The very worst thing about this stupid so-called holiday this year is that it falls on Friday. I prefer the years when it falls on Monday or Tuesday. At least then, I only have those one or two bad days at work, and then the rest of the week settles down. Today is only Sunday.

MONDAY

As soon as I exit the elevator, I make sure that I'm grinning from ear to ear, and that my smile reaches my eyes. I don't want to feel their pity today. I know they won't be able to stop themselves by Wednesday, so I'm going to make the best of today as I can.

"Hey, Morgan! Happy Valentine's Week!" I shout out as soon as he enters the BAU. I've decided that if I mention it first to everyone then … I don't know. It's the only approach I came up with, so I'm sticking with it.

"Hey, Reid! Is this your new approach this year?" Morgan asks, with his stupid smirk. I know that he knows what I'm trying to do, but I don't care.

"Yeah! Got a problem with that?" I ask him, never losing my bi-winning smile with a twinkle in my eye. So what, if it's really a held-back tear. I'm calling it a twinkle this week.

"No, man, I wish you luck with it. Look, Reid, I won't tease …" Morgan says, but I cut him off. I see the pity in his eyes already. Sure, he looks and sounds sincere, but you don't know Morgan, like I know Morgan. I know he doesn't mean to hurt me when he teases me. He is always quick with a truly sincere apology as soon as he hurts me. That's the real problem. He doesn't mean to hurt me, but he knows that it does, and he keeps doing it over and over. He makes himself feel better each time because he really does apologize from the bottom his heart, over, and over. As I said earlier, sometimes I think that I'm the stupidest genius in the world. I don't even want to tell you how many years went by before I finally realized how completely empty and insincere any apology from Morgan truly is. I can't even hate him for that, because that's just who Morgan is. Just like the rest of us, he is who he is. I accept him, and he accepts me. I just wish it didn't hurt me so much. It hurts worse than when the rest of the team teases me, because Morgan insists that he's best friends with me. I understand that saying, 'Who needs enemies with friends like these.'

"We both know that you won't be able to stop yourself. Just not today, or tomorrow. OK? I'll be able to handle it by Wednesday. I promise. Just leave me alone until then." I said. I then stood up and went to get a much-needed coffee.

I made it through the rest of the day wearing my grin and shouting out to everyone I passed, 'Happy Valentine's Week!' I thank the gods that I'm finally back home. Now, I have to come up with tomorrow's approach.

TUESDAY

My eyes and my cheeks hurt. Here comes Garcia with a red and white gift bag.

"Hey, Sweet Cheeks! You look happy today." Garcia says to me. I wish my smile and twinkle was as real as hers. She's such a wonderful person with a heart of solid gold. She's still doing well hiding her pity for me. I appreciate that.

"Hey, Garcia. What's in the bag?" I ask, keeping my voice upbeat.

"It's today's surprise grab bag. Everyone gets to reach in and pull out a surprise. The last one left in the bag is mine. I'm letting you have first pick. Good Luck!" Garcia says, then she makes me close my eyes and pick. I dig around in the bag, but it makes no difference. She's smart! In the bag are seven little boxes that are all the same size, so I just grab one and pull it out.

Garcia is such a magnet. When I had closed my eyes, we were the only ones in the bullpen. Now, everyone's coming over to get their pick. Once we all have a little box in our hands, Garcia tells us to open them now. Inside each box is a large candy heart, about the size of a quarter. Everyone starts laughing as they show each other what's printed on their hearts. Theirs say silly things, you know, those standard greetings: Wont You Be My Valentine, Your Secret Admirer, Take My Heart, etc. Mine doesn't say anything like that. I don't think mine is funny, or standard. I look at Garcia, and she shakes her head, discretely.

I do a simple sleight of hand, and they think I've popped my heart into my mouth. I start giggling and acting like I'm sucking on the candy. Now they want to know what was printed on my heart, so I just make up something. As soon as I tell them it said, 'I Love You', there goes Morgan. He's as predictable as simple clockwork.

"See, Pretty Boy! There's hope for you yet! Now you just need a real girl." Morgan jokes, laughing heartily, as he always does at my expense.

I wasn't surprised. I was expecting the hurtful tease, whatever it turned out to be. My grin and twinkle held firm! I even threw in a couple of chuckles. I kept chuckling as long as he kept laughing. He was so into it that he didn't notice what I noticed. Nobody else was laughing. Even better, they weren't looking at me with pity. They were looking at Morgan with scorn. Hotch spoke up and told everyone it was time to get back to work. I didn't let it show, but I really did appreciate Hotch for dispersing everyone. I still had to work next to Morgan, but I just ignored him and kept grinning and twinkling.

The rest of the day passed quietly. There wasn't much chit chat going on, everyone seemed either engrossed in their work, or in themselves. That was fine with me. I'm just glad I'm home now. I've got two days down and two days to go before V-Day. I put my candy heart in a little plastic bag and placed it on my nightstand. Before going to bed, I took an aleve to help my poor aching face.

WEDNESDAY

My face feels a lot better as I grin and twinkle my way into the breakroom. I'm glad it's 2:00 pm. I've made it through the morning. Rossi's sitting at the table with his coffee and frowning at something in his hand. I call out an upbeat 'Hey, Rossi!' All I get in return is a grunt and a frown, as he places what looks like tickets onto the table in front of him. I leave him alone, and proceed to make myself a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Reid! Do you have a minute? I need a favor, of sorts." Rossi says to me. I turn around and he still is frowning down at the paper on the table.

"What do you need, Rossi?" I ask, as I walk over and sit down across from him.

"I made a lot of reservations and big plans for romancing my lady this week, but she came down with the flu last night. I can't get a refund on anything, and I hate to see it all go to waste. We won't be able to do anything this week. I'm staying home and taking care of her." Rossi said, smiling gently.

All I could say was, "Wow!"

Rossi saw how shocked I was, and said, "Yes, Reid. This lady is very special. My problem is that she suggested that I let her daughter, Elizabeth, enjoy the week's festivities in her place. There is no way that is going to happen."

"Why not?" I asked.

"I told you. My lady is special to me. I do not want anything to do with her daughter, who is very beautiful, very young, and very sexually aware of herself. I don't want anyone to have even the slightest hint of anything inappropriate happening between us." Rossi stated, adamantly.

I know all about Rossi's proud reputation of being the one, and the only, Lothario of the FBI. Morgan can't even hold a candle to Rossi. Morgan's reputation consists of a multitude of dime-a-dozen cheap and easy women who accept being one-nightstands and fuck-buddies. It can't even compare to Rossi's reputation, which is based on elegant and sophisticated women of a much higher standard and class. Rossi romances only cream of the crop women for weeks at a time, and then he elegantly bows out of their lives. He must really be serious about this lady he's been dating. I wonder who she is.

"Why do you think anyone would? How young is she?" I asked.

"She's your age. That's why I'm asking you to do me this favor." Rossi said, trying to do puppy-dog eyes.

"What favor is that?" I asked, knowing what it was and how inadequate I would be to the task.

"For the rest of this week, starting tomorrow night, you'll be wining and dining this beautiful young woman. All expenses paid. We'll leave together after work. I'll get you a rental car, a suit, a tuxedo, and a haircut. I'll also get you a credit card (in your name) on one of my accounts. You'll have the time of your life straight through Saturday night. Thanks a lot, Reid! I need to hurry up and make some calls, make sure everything flows smoothly for you." Rossi said. He then stood up, clapped me on the shoulder, and happily went back to work.

I sat there realizing that I had never agreed to anything at all. It didn't seem to matter. I don't know how I manage to always have something to say when it doesn't count. Yet, I never seem able to speak up when I should. That's me. Stupid genius.

I felt that I had pulled myself together enough to leave the breakroom grinning and twinkling. Apparently, I wasn't doing it well enough because Morgan and Emily kept pestering me for the rest of the day. They kept asking me what was wrong, if I felt all right, if there was anything they could do for me. I denied anything was wrong and chuckled at them. I was getting more nauseous by the minute, and there were a hell of a lot of minutes to go until the day was over.

Finally, both Morgan and Emily left for the day. I was the only one sitting in the bullpen, when I got a text message. It was Rossi, asking if I was ready to leave. I looked up and he was standing on the catwalk looking down at me. I nodded my head yes, and he started typing on his phone. I got another text message from Rossi, saying to meet him at his car in the garage. I looked up again, and nodded my head.

It was 6:00 pm when we pulled out of the garage. I didn't get home until 11:35 pm! I was exhausted, laden down with a $750.00 designer tuxedo with shirt, tie, and cummerbund, a $450.00 designer suit with shirt and tie, and shopping bags full of everything else that a well-dress man needs to take out a well-dressed woman for three nights. I wanted to just drop everything on the floor and climb into bed with my new haircut, but I couldn't. Rossi had given me firm instructions to hang up the tuxedo, the suit, and the shirts, and to lay out everything that I would need for tomorrow night: Suit Night. At least I didn't go to bed hungry. Rossi took me to dinner at a very fine restaurant. I not only got to eat a fantastic dinner, but I got to see what would be expected of me tomorrow night.

THURSDAY

I woke up nervous. All day Morgan teased me, not just about Valentine's Day, but about my new haircut. Before I left the house, I combed my hair down as best as I could. I didn't wear it in the style that the barber instructed me. I plan on wearing it the right way tonight, for Elizabeth. So, Morgan's teasing had no effect on me today. I felt nothing. I was vaguely aware of some unintentional looks of pity from everyone, but it didn't really register. I felt nothing, except nausea all day long. Rossi kept trying to get me to relax. By the end of the day, I finally relaxed. I had no choice. I couldn't stand the nausea anymore. Rossi made sure that I left work on time to get home and get ready for my date. He handed me a printed itinerary for tonight. It included everything you could possibly imagine. I was so grateful because I definitely needed it.

I arrived at Elizabeth's house on time. When she opened the door, I couldn't even say 'hello'. I just stood there and stared at her. She was BEAUTIFUL. She smiled at me and invited me inside. Elizabeth asked me to follow her into the living room, so that she could introduce me to her mother. I don't know why I was surprised to see Rossi, sitting on the sofa next to Eliza, Elizabeth's mother. Though she was around Rossi's age, Eliza was still stunningly beautiful.

It was obvious that Rossi had previously described me to Eliza and Elizabeth. Both of them went out of their way making me feel welcome in the elegant home. As soon as conversation started, it became clear to me that both Elizabeth and her mother were very well educated. That was all it took to make me relax, and not feel awkward. Rossi told me and Elizabeth to hurry and leave for two reasons: first, not to lose our reservations; and second, he didn't like me charming Eliza more than he was. Eliza laughed and kissed Rossi on his cheek, as she sent Elizabeth and me on our way.

We had a wonderful evening together. It turned out that Elizabeth has never been satisfied with her IQ of 160. She was very interested in everything that I had ever studied. We talked all the way to the restaurant, all through dinner, and all the way to the Center for Arts. Elizabeth reached over and held my hand during the show.

We held hands all way back to her house, and I walked her to her door. We stood there talking and holding hands, neither wanting to leave the other. After about 10 minutes, Elizabeth reached up, kissed me on the side of my mouth, and said goodnight. I waited until she was safely inside, and closed the door behind her.

I'm surprised that I made it home safely. My mind is still in the clouds. I can hardly wait to see Elizabeth tomorrow night, for our second date.

VALENTINE'S DAY

I woke up this morning with the same stupid grin on my face that I went to sleep with. I drove my car (not the rental) into work again because I'll need to get home quickly to change for my date tonight. I've never had a date on Valentine's Day. Suddenly, I'm no longer annoyed at all the marketing ads, and the colour red. I was still wearing my stupid grin when I entered the BAU. Most of the women had flowers delivered to them throughout the day. The guys all seemed rather relaxed, looking forward to their romantic evenings. When Rossi came in this morning, he called me into his office. He told me that Eliza said that I was adorable, and very handsome. Rossi also told me that Elizabeth carried on for hours about me. She was really looking forward to seeing me tonight. Rossi said that she was definitely smitten with me, believe it, or not.

Morgan had managed to behave himself all morning long. I knew it wouldn't last all day, and it didn't. Around 2:00 pm, a florist deliveryman brought a bouquet of flowers to Emily. She was pleased with the delivery, and with what was written on the little note card. Of course, Morgan started harassing Emily trying to get her to give details on the guy she was seeing. Emily, knew better than to give out her personal details, and she's used to standing up to Morgan's teasing. After about an hour of off and on teasing Emily, Morgan gave up. That's when he started on me.

I know it's not his fault, that's just the way Morgan is. He's a teaser, a jokester, a wiseguy. He can never see the truth, that he's a bully. Not a fist punching kind of bully, but a bully none the less, to me anyway. He says that he just likes to frustrate me. He finds it comical. As I told you, he's unaware of what he his.

In between doing some work, and passing some of his work onto my desk, Morgan continued teasing me for about an hour. There were no signs that he would be letting up any time soon. As usual, Hotch, and the girls, made their standard obligatory requests to Morgan for him to stop teasing me and to leave me alone. That's the problem with standard obligatory statements. They are never demands that are enforced. They are just wishful or hopeful things said 'in passing'.

In between taunts, I see that Morgan is getting more perplexed by the hour. He can't figure out why my stupid grin hasn't faded, or even wavered. He doesn't know about my date last night, nor my date tonight … My Valentine's Date!

Around 4:00 pm, Garcia and JJ came into the bullpen to chat with Morgan and Emily. They were all deciding which restaurant/bar they were all going to tonight, with their dates. Garcia and Kevin, JJ and Will, Emily and her mystery guy, Hotch and Beth, Rossi and his mystery lady. Morgan still hadn't decided if he was bringing one of his onenight-stand honeys, or if he was going alone so that he could be available to any and all available ladies. I hadn't been invited, because I never go out with them on Valentine's Day. About two years ago, they finally understood to stop pressuring me, well, everyone except for Morgan. Once they decided where they were going, it just seemed to rev up Morgan's tease-o-meter even higher.

Rossi was passing through the bullpen to get a cup of coffee. I was the only one who noticed how hard Rossi glared at Morgan. A few minutes after Rossi returned to his office with his coffee, I received a text message from him.

" Slight change of plans for tonight. Elizabeth wants to start the evening off by joining Eliza and me for dinner, with the team. Elizabeth says she still wants you to wear the full tuxedo. I suggest that you comply with her request. I'm driving our ladies to the restaurant. Bring the rental car and your credit card. Tonight is still your date with Elizabeth. The two of you can leave and go wherever you want, whenever you want.

PS: Don't tell the team that you're coming tonight, because they don't know anything about Elizabeth and you. The team is meeting at the restaurant at 8:00 pm. Make sure that you DO NOT arrive before 8:30 pm. That will give Morgan more than enough time to make a complete fool of himself trying to flirt with Elizabeth. Don't worry, she can't stand players. She wants YOU! I can't wait to see Morgan's face when she sees you tonight … all dressed up in a tux!"

Morgan had been watching me as I was reading the text message. I usually only get them from him. When I reached the end of the message, I quickly closed my phone and laughed so hard, tears came to my eyes.

"What's so funny, Pretty Boy? Is someone desperate enough to ask YOU for a date?" Morgan asked, sounding cocky, but looking very unsure of himself.

"No." Is all that I said, and I ignored him for the rest of the day. Every few minutes, I couldn't help but chuckle and grin even wider. Each time, I could see Morgan look over at me, wearing a very perplexed expression. He was no doubt wondering what was so funny.

Finally, Hotch told everyone to go home and get ready for tonight. We packed up our stuff and all left together. In the elevator, the team chatted about tonight, while I remained silent. When we reached the garage, and just before we all went our separate ways, Morgan got in one last dig. "Hey Reid! Too bad you aren't joining us tonight. But just think, now you've got another 364 days to try and find a date for next Valentine's Day." Morgan clapped me on my back as he doubled over in laughter. Once again, he didn't notice that he was the only one laughing.

"Goodnight, guys!" I said, quickly walking away from them. I didn't turn around, or acknowledge any of their goodbyes. I just headed to my car, got in, and drove home.

I got home, showered, and did everything that Rossi told me to do. I was completely ready to leave my apartment at 7:30 pm. It will only take me about twenty minutes to drive to the restaurant, but Rossi said not to arrive before 8:30 pm. I sat on my couch and waited, with a grin still on my face. I wished that Elizabeth and I had exchanged phone numbers. I thought about calling Rossi, who was sure to be over there, and asking him to put Elizabeth on the phone. I didn't. I wanted to, but I didn't.

At 8:10, as I was heading out the door, I received a text message from Rossi.

"DO NOT COME INTO THE RESTAURANT BEFORE 8:30 PM! We've only been here for ten minutes, and Morgan hasn't stopped hitting on Elizabeth. He's completely ignoring the woman he came with. We're all embarrassed for her, but she seems to be taking it in her stride. I had already warned both Elizabeth and Eliza all about Morgan, and how he teases you mercilessly. The team still doesn't know that you're coming here. All they know is that Elizabeth is waiting for whom she has discretely been referring to as 'her beau'. That's you!

PS: After Elizabeth greets you, and you both are seated again, I want you to signal for the waiter. Order a bottle of their BEST champagne, for the table. Don't worry about the cost, your card will cover it. This is YOUR night, Kid!"

I still made it to the restaurant too early, so I walked around the parking lot until 8:30 pm. I entered and could see our table from the door. As I stood there, waiting to be escorted to our table, I was still smiling. Until I noticed that Elizabeth was sitting between her mother and Morgan. Elizabeth wasn't smiling, nor was her mother. Eliza kept looking back and forth to Rossi, but he just kept patting her hand, shaking his head, and grinning from ear to ear. I could tell from Morgan's constantly moving body language and his facial expressions that he was hard at work, pulling out all his best moves on Elizabeth. I also noticed that the only vacant chair was on the other side of the large round table, between Kevin and the woman who Morgan had brought with him. That wiped the smile right off my face.

As I followed the waiter to our table, Elizabeth looked up and saw me coming towards them. She broke into a beautiful smile, jumped up from her chair, and headed straight for me. Everyone at the table, except for Morgan, was pleasantly surprised, and stared after her wanting to see her beau. Morgan slumped back in his chair and looked very annoyed.

I was almost at our table when Elizabeth stood in front of me, wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed me. Not on my cheek. Not on the corner of my mouth. She kissed me full on my lips. I gasped and my mouth opened a little. Elizabeth slipped her tongue into my mouth, as I wrapped my arms around her and held her as tight as I could.

I don't know how long that kissed lasted. I forgot where we were. I forgot who I was. I was in heaven. Elizabeth tasted so sweet, and she moaned so softly. I think she forgot everything too. We both jumped apart when suddenly the patrons in the restaurant burst into a huge round of applause and sharp whistles. We were both embarrassed that we had lost control like that in public, surrounded by so many people.

She was so beautiful, as she ducked her head into my chest. We kept our arms wrapped around each other as we made our way over to our table. The applause was slowly dying down. Everyone at our table was speechless, except for Rossi and Eliza.

Rossi stood up, and said very clearly, "Morgan, it's time for you to return to your seat … over there … with your date."

Morgan remained slumped back in his chair, with his mouth dropped open, looking utterly bewildered, flabbergasted, confused. You name it. He looked it. Morgan, 'The Great Lady's Man, the self-proclaimed lover of all fine honeys' was beyond speechless. He just sat there staring from me, to Elizabeth, to the others at our table, then back to me again, round and round. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak. Poor Morgan, he looked so completely lost.

Everyone at the table started laughing at Morgan, even his date, but he didn't even notice. He just kept looking round and round.

Hotch said, "Why don't we all just move over one seat? I don't think Morgan's feeling too well."

As everyone pushed their chairs back, getting ready to stand, Morgan's date spoke up, "No. Please. Don't bother. I've enjoyed meeting all of you, but I think it's time for Derek to leave and take me home." She stood up and walked around the table to Morgan. She shoved his shoulder, and said "Hey!"

Morgan finally looked at his date and said, "Hey, baby. What's up?"

We all looked at him like he was truly insane. How could he possibly not know what was up? I looked at Rossi, and he just burst out laughing loudly.

The woman shoved Morgan in the shoulder again, and said in a loud voice said, "Let's go! Now!"

Morgan stood up. He looked at everyone again, especially me and Elizabeth, and then lowered his head and said, "Uh … later." Then he took his date by her elbow and they walked away. We were all watching the back of Morgan and his date. Just before he walked out of the restaurant, we all saw him spin his head back for another look. He looked even more confused than before.

Elizabeth and I finally sat down together, and I ordered a bottle of their best champagne. After the waiter poured everyone a glass of champagne, Rossi stood up and made a toast: "To Reid and Elizabeth! May they find themselves in each other!"

Everyone smiled and clinked their glasses, but Garcia was laughing for too long. She was laughing so hard that she had to dab away her tears. We kept asking her what was so funny. When she could finally catch her breath, she blurted out, "You said, 'may they find themselves in each other!'" Then she proceeded to howl with laughter. One by one, so did everyone else, except for me, Rossi, and Eliza. Even Elizabeth was laughing.

Giggling, Elizabeth whispered to her mother. Eliza looked shocked, and whispered to Rossi. Rossi was just taking another sip of champagne when he choked on it. He looked over at me and Elizabeth, and then turned to Garcia and sputtered out, "That's not what I meant, Garcia!"

A/N: Hopefully, you know what Garcia meant. The sequel to this story is Reid's First Valentine Kiss. It continues where this leave off. I hope you'll enjoy reading it.