"You are living within your own dream, Elsa."
Am I really within a dream? Is the freak show just some fantasy that I created to escape all of my troubles? Why do I even feel this way? This is what I've always wanted, to become a star in my own right. Despite all my fame, I still feel alone. The world is a vast place and I feel so hollow and lonely. I shouldn't even have these feelings but with everything that's been happening recently, I feel like that my life is crumbling in and I can't even stop it from happening.
The humid atmosphere is present even in my own luxurious tent. Jupiter is usually warm and inviting but tonight, it's smothering me to death. I sit on the edge of my bed, not knowing what to do. My makeup is all runny, the sweat forming a mask over my face and my hair is frizzled. I should be cleaning myself since the stars should never appear messy but at the moment, I don't even care how I look like.
I notice the lumps forming within my throat but I try to relax. How could I relax? The feelings are over taking me and I feel like opening up. I notice the tears forming over my eyes and I gracefully let them fall and that's when I lose it. I start crying my heart out since nothing was going right for me and I just wanted to be loved by someone. I lowered my head in shame and that's when I felt a hand touching my cheek, wiping the tears away. I looked up and to my relief, it's Edward Mordrake and he's here for me. He smiles back at me and I gladly stand to my feet, so relieved to see him.
"Good evening, Madame."
"Good evening, Mr. Mordrake." I replied to him while he took off his top hat and bowed to me. After placing the top hat back on his head, he folded his hands onto his cane and remained standing.
"You do know why I'm here?" He asked.
"I do. Every year, you search for a freak to add to your traveling company. I know who you might want this year."
"And who might that be Madame Mars?"
"Me." I replied very coldly and plainly. Mr. Mordrake took a step back and looked at me in horror. I'm sure that he never expected the owner of a freak show to ask for such a request. Well, I'm asking since I'm an actual freak, just like the rest of my monsters.
"Why you? Why not one of your other freaks? Like Ethel Darling or the twins?"
"Please, take me! I'm a freak also!" I cried while lifting up my dress and taking off my fake legs. Mr. Mordrake blinks twice since he couldn't believe that I had no legs. I looked back up at him, hoping that he would strike quickly but he just stands there, within a daze.
"How did this happen?" He asked while still within his daze.
"A snuff film during my acting days in Germany. The doctor that saved my life gave me new legs so that I could walk again but I wish that he had killed me! They took my legs and I had nothing to live for! I wish I was dead!"
Edward lifts his knife to strike but he hesitates as the carnival music breathes to life.
"Please, take me!"
"Elsa-"
"Take me!"
"Elsa-"
"Take me!"
"Elsa!"
I opened my eyes and noticed Jimmy standing over me, looking concerned. He's shaking me until I woke up all of the way. He stood beside Ethel and took a step back while I raised myself up. I looked around and noticed all of the freaks surrounding my bed, having all concerned looks.
"Ms. Elsa, I was worried that someone was hurting you but I'm glad that it's all over now." Ma Petite told me while I took her in and accepted her hug. I was so thankful that it was just a nightmare, a dream that was finally over.
"What happened?" I inquired.
"You was having a nightmare and your screaming was ringing through the whole camp. We thought that someone was hurting you. It took me and dad to wake up, Elsa." Jimmy assured me.
"I apologize for waking everyone up. I've been having a hard time. You all can go back to sleep."
After all of the freaks left, Ethel and Jimmy was talking. Ethel whispered something into Jimmy's ear and he left while she came to my bed and sat next to me.
"Elsa, you was dreaming about that Mordrake guy again."
"Ethel, how did you know about that?"
"Well, I could tell by the way you was screaming and how Jimmy had to wake you up. Is everything alright or is there something that you should tell me?"
I looked at my dearest friend and broke down crying. "It was awful. I wanted him to kill me and he wouldn't. I just haven't felt like the Elsa that you know."
"It's going to be alright. No one is going to hurt you, I assure you that. If they do, they'll have to go through me."
"Thank you, Ethel dear. I honestly don't know what I would do with you."
"Don't stress over it Elsa but promise me that you won't think about it again."
"I promise."
"That's my girl. Now get some sleep." Ethel told me.
"I will." I assured her.
Ethel smiled back at me and left the tent, leaving me alone. I laid back down on the pillow and while I slowly drifted off to sleep, I realize that it was just a dream. My life is with my freaks. They are my life, my love, my everything. Although I may hate them sometimes for taking the spotlight, I love them with all of my heart. I smile as I drift off to sleep, knowing that I'm loved by those closest to me.
This is my first attempt for a oneshot within the American Horror Story fandom. I feel in love with the show but I never wrote anything until now so I accept all constructive criticism. This is actually my second oneshot I've written for American Horror Story but the first one is being revised since I've watched more of Fiona Goode and I understand her better now. I would tell what happens but I want to save that as a surprise.
The title of this came from listening to The State of Dreaming which is a song by Marina and the Diamonds. It really fitted into Freak Show and I saw a video over this on YouTube that featured Elsa so I give my personal thanks to the creator of that video.
Constructive criticism is, like I mentioned before, accepted.
Until next time! Please read, review, favor, alert and spread the word... :D