"It was the last year of your middle school life. I need to confess to him before it's too late . . ."
"Haruhi!"Nngh . . . stop that.
"Haruhi! Wake up!" Wha-
"Haruhi, dear! It's your graduation day! Hurry!" Geez. Dad. Thanks for reminding me that.
It's the same old routine just like the old days. I hurriedly eat my breakfast, took a bath, fix my things and preparing myself.
"Here's your lunch dear. Make daddy proud!"
"I will, dad!"
A kiss on my father's cheek and hurriedly run to the school. It is a kilometer away from our home, that's why I need to be on time especially on this hour.
This is it. Graduation . . . boy, it would be the last of everything. Can I make up on this confession?
Watashi no me no suishoutai ga anata ni gyutto OOTOFOOKASU
Koi no shingou ga dainou no koutouyou ni nagareru
(The lens of my eyes tightly auto-focus upon you
As the signal of my love flows through the occipital lobe of my brain)
Last night, I didn't sleep so much because I don't know how to put my confession. It's so stereotypical to put it on a love letter . . . but I can't do it. I want to make it private and unique, but how on earth will I do that, anyway?
It's six forty five in the morning and gladly I made it on time before seven. It's a custom tradition for me to be early on the first day of classes, in which I applied it today. Father will come at eight when the program will start. So, there is plenty of time for me to do things. I hope I can make it right. After I arrived on my classroom, there are no people around for me to talk to. So, I went to my favorite hangout. I immediately went to the rooftop to feel the morning breeze and the broad daylight to touch my skin. Ahh, I will miss this moment all of my life. On times that I am alone, I usually hooked up on the rooftop to express my feelings through reading.
"This is the best! I will miss you, Ouran High!" I said as I let out a comforting sigh.
"Is someone down there?" a voice popped from nowhere. I freeze for a moment.
Yes, it was him.
"Oh, hello there!" he greeted as he was lying on the pavement of the door block.
I was freezing. No, I need to cool myself down.
"You know, it was my first time to see you with myself up close and personal. Can you sit with me? I mean, I won't hurt you or something . . ." he asked.
Seriously? The president of the student council for three years in a row and a son of a multi-national medical group, Kyoya Ootori just asked me to sit with him?
Am I dreaming, or something?
"Ah, sure" I said as I walk towards him. When I finally sit beside him, I can't figure out why my heart was beating so fast. Seriously, why now? Why did he ask me to sit with him? This moment is so early for me. But, I thank God for this.
"You know, I am anti-social that's why I look strict to others, and even my admirers were afraid to come near me" he confessed.
What's with him today? He sounds different when I usually hear him from afar. Let's find out.
"Haruhi . . . Fujioka, nee?" he asked. I nodded.
"Yes, Kyoya-senpai" I replied.
"You know, you are the first person who is not afraid of talking to me. Why is that?" he asked.
"Well, you're you. You can't change a person's beliefs and angles" I replied. He was shocked.
"That's true" he said as he stood up from the floor. He extended his arm to me as I reached for it. Moments later, he patted my head and stared at me for the last time.
He's not bluffing.
Or, is he?
Sanou kara futtekita kotoba
Seitai no shindou wo bane ni shite
Ikioiyoku "kokuhaku" wa shita ni tobinotta
(From the left side of my brain begin to rain words,
The vibration of my vocal chords begin to spring,
And from my tongue jumps a vigorous confession,)
The bell just rang for the opening ceremony. He went first because he is the one who will give the speech. I came after he went downstairs so that we can prevent rumors. Everyone was there on the opening ceremony, those key people and my classmates who are graduating this year, even dad just arrived in the exact time.
As the opening speech from the principal started, everyone was really cheering for the new life of being a middle school graduate, thinking of what opportunities will be ahead of us in the high school life. So, what should I do next after this next step? Well, I want to be like my mother, that's why I need to finish school right away so that I can look up further to the future I've been looking for: Kyoya Ootori.
My thoughts were just interrupted when everyone applauded for the student council president to have his speech. He walks from his line, straightening his blazers and tie, placing his eyeglasses correctly and slowly walking through the staircase of the wooden stage.
He looks handsome when he looks presentable in front of everybody. Would I ever see this guy ever again after he confessed to me?
I wonder.
"Friends, I know that this is the beginning of our journey as middle school graduates, but we must always remember that we must thank those people who are part of our success, in the times that you want to give up, and those victories that you achieve together with them, and especially, the source of your inspiration . . . and for her who I owe all of my inspiration, thank you so much" he said as he smiled at me sweetly. He couldn't be more sincere than this . . . but how will I return my feelings back to him?
This guy . . . was my source of inspiration. I did love him secretly, but he revealed that he's been following me through thick and thin afar from me. But, how will I able to return it? I do love him, and so I will return his feelings for me.
As the graduation exercises ended, I didn't have the chance to talk with him again.
As I retire from my bed at night, I didn't know but I just suddenly cried. You know the feeling of not telling someone how you really feel. Do you think that a confession is easy? Nope, not everybody has balls to tell someone how they do feel about it, too. Now, I'll going to regret it for the rest of my life.
Maybe, I'll focus instead.
Kuchibiru no aida wo surinukete
Fuyuu ryuushi wo kakiwakete
Anata no hiza ni matagatte wakibara wo yojinoboru
(slipping past the space between my lips,
parting the particles of the air,
lengthening upon your knees and flattening against your back)
Scanning from my wallet, I took his laminated ID Photo from the mini-charm pouch from the temple. Facing the picture, I can't help it but to whisper these words on him:
"Is it okay to fall in love with you? Because I fell in love with you too, senpai. I hope you feel it, too"
Then, I put it back on the pouch and sealed it. I made a string on it so that I can wear it on my neck. I need this for my entrance exams in Midori High School in a month. I know that he will be the source of my confidence. I will do my best.
Thank God I manage to go through all of this! I'll do my best for this high school life! I need to know the results of the examinations and what section I will be going to. Wearing my pink strap dress with a white shirt underneath and leggings underneath, I went to Midori High all by myself since my father is still asleep. When I look on the first announcement board, I topped on the said examinations: results are fine and I passed the entrance exam with final colors. Then, I searched for my name on the next announcement board of the school. So, I went to the first section, after all, and yet, I was shocked to see a familiar name on the board.
Kyoya Ootori.
How can this be possible? Why did he enter a public high school in which he can afford the most expensive school in Japan? I was really shocked to see him number two on the scholarship test, and he will be staying on the same classroom as me.
Is this fate?
I thought that my love for him will be unrequited. I need to grab it while I have that chance.
Grabbing my mini-charm pouch, I am praying and hoping that he will still notice me. Even just the slightest chance of opportunity, I will definitely grab it no matter what it takes.
During the first day of classes, I was back on my regular routine, except for the suit and mini-skirt and a tie. As I bade goodbye to my father and wear the mini-charm pouch around my neck, I am off to school. Later, tension creeps in my feet when students start on searching on the board for class divisions and rankings for scholars and non-scholars. Since I know mine, I immediately went to the classroom. Okay, this is it. High school life, here I come.
The classroom was empty. I put my bag on the side of the table then I just noticed that there's a rooftop in our school. So, I went on the rooftop and found a spot where nobody can see me and the wind's very strong that you don't need to have an electric fan. Sitting on the floor and leaning my back on the wall. And that's when someone blocking the rays of the sun on my face.
"There you are" a voice greeted me.
When I look closely to this person, I was shocked.
"Kyoya-senpai?"
"I know that I can see you here, but in a different school" he chuckled as he sits beside me. What now?
"Why did you transfer, senpai? There are many elite schools for you to enter, but why here, of all schools? And you even take scholarship?" I asked while he pats my head. I blushed. As soon as he returns his eyes on the sky, he said:
"My grandmother owns the school. Actually, my parents are against on it too. Maybe, I am the third son of the Ootori household but there are two reasons in which why I came here . . ." he sighed as he looked up to the floor, feeling so low. I wonder what troubles him, too.
"One, I am my grandmother's favorite and has the exact features of her: from the attitude to the physical appearance, there are no doubts to question that I am part of the household. I want to pay homage in this school is because not just she owns the school and the land it stood, but also she graduates from here. I want to follow her alma mater too" he smiled as he looked up to the sky.
I'm glad that it was just a coincidence . . . - I said it to myself.
"And number two, is because you are here in this school. Is this coincidental, or it was just fate that brought us here?" he smiled at me.
That smile . . . I really want to melt here right now. I need not to show him any romantic feelings. I just want to keep my feelings for him hidden for now . . . it's not the right time to tell him yet.
Eriashi tsutatte "kokuhaku" wa
Anata no mimi ni shinobikonda
Komaku made ikki ni hashirinuke naiji ni suberikomu
(This confession follows the nape of your neck,
creeps into your ear,
runs until your eardrum and slides into your brain)
I was shaking as he cupped my both cheeks with his soft hands. He stared my eyes, as I gaze on him like it was yearning for something. Then, I didn't noticed that his forehead was leaning against mine . . . I want to shout but I can't.
"You know, Fujioka-san, I've been thinking about you since the last time I declared that I need to know you more . . . I think . . . I like you" he confessed.
Suki ni natte mo ii desu ka
I think I love you, I think I do
Koishite mo ii desu ka
Say you love me
(Is it alright if I fall for you?
I think I love you, I think I do
Is it alright if I come to love you?
Say you love me)
God . . . Is this an answered prayer for me? Is this the one for me? Is he the one who will be standing with me through trials in life? Is he the one that you give to me for us to be with each other no matter how hard life is and be victorious? I need your guidance . . .
I never said a word or anything as he kissed me on the forehead.
"I will be waiting for your answer . . ." he said as he bowed at me and went downstairs for the opening ceremony.
Someone pinch me . . . Am I dreaming?
When he was far away from me . . . I was whispering unto the air:
"Is it alright to fell in love with you? Because if I can, I want it too"
There comes those three years on an end and we haven't talk to each other ever since on the rooftop incident when I was in the first year of my high school years. It was like a dream for me, of course. But every day passes, I lose the opportunity to say how much I really love him. We were preparing for the future: him as one of the owners of a multi-billion medical group, and me as a lawyer to defend the weak.
Gripping my mini-charm pouch, I was on the stage right now, grabbing my diploma from my teacher and looked at the audience. My father was emotional because of two things: one, I am now an official scholar of Tokyo State University; and two, I just graduated from college with the highest honors. Surely, mom is smiling on me right now.
After the exercises, there are many people who greeted me, especially my close friends like Hikaru and Kaoru. Even Renge was really emotional at that time. As when Kyoya was greeted by his fellow admirers and by the student council, I didn't have the chance to talk to him. As we went away from the crowd with my father, there are no chances to look back.
"As much as you want to, the crowd is getting worse and we will miss our bus ride before night. We will celebrate your graduation party at Karuizawa, if you remember" dad told me. I just nodded and went inside the taxi all the way home.
But realization sinks in when I caress my neck, my mini-charm pouch was lost.
"Dad!" I exclaimed as we arrived at our apartment.
"What's wrong darling?" my father asked me as he pat my shoulder.
"My mini-charm pouch . . . it's missing" I lowered my voice as disappointment and frustration breaks me gently.
Dad was stammered.
"Oh no. we can't retrieve our tracks anymore, darling. We need to go now" dad ordered. I don't have choice but to follow my dad . . . how could I go on without the mini-charm pouch that I have?
What could be worse is the only treasure I had next to my mother's picture was Kyoya Ootori
Soba ni ite mo ii desu ka
I think I love you, I think I do
Te wo tsunaide mo ii desu ka
Say you love me too
(Is it alright if I stay by your side?
I think I love you, I think I do
Is it alright if I hold your hand?
Say you love me too)
Even the party is lively and everyone's there, I keep myself entertained for the rest of the night . . . here at Misuzu's Pension House here at Karuizawa was really out of my league today. As Mei gives me another pitcher of lemon juice, I was really depressed as she comforted me throughout the night of my graduation party.
"There's a treasure inside it in which I didn't confess to him just yet. I keep it together with my family picture and our picture, too. But why on earth . . ." I sobbed at Mei as she patted my shoulder.
"Hey, you don't need to be so low about the mini-charm pouch. I know it really means to you but there are times that we really have to move on. I did also lose mine, but then, someone gave it back to me. Who knows? The fate of the mini-charm pouch usually gets back on its original author" Mei smiled at me as we hold our glasses.
"To the journey of the mini-charm pouch" Mei added as we chuckled to each other.
"To the return of the mini-charm pouch" I answered her and as we clunked our glasses together, dad and Misuzu-chii was singing. I think it was a new released song, that's why they sang it together. The two of them are also drunk.
What do you expect?
Moments later, someone is beeping a car's horn outside the pension house.
"Hold it people, I got this" I assured them as I walk out of the pension house.
But then I know, it was the guy whom I really expect to come today.
Anata no me no suishoutai ga watashi ni gyutto OOTOFOOKASU
Do you love me? Do you love me? Say you love me too
(The lens of your eyes tightly auto-focus upon me
Do you love me? Do you love me? Say you love me too)
"Senpai!" my breath's stiffing, literally shaking not because of the weather, but because he was there in front of me.
"I might forget to give you this . . ." he said as he made me lend my hand and gave me something on my hand: it was my mini-charm pouch. I was blushing so hard.
"Ano . . . Kyoya-senpai?" I was stammering in front of him. God. It's really embarrassing.
"Yes?" he asked as he walks towards me until our distance is two inches behind. I was really surprised on how he acts today.
"Thank you!" I blurted out as he took my both hands, then he chuckled.
"You know, I am still waiting for your answer, Haruhi." Kyoya-senpai was this persistent. There are plenty of questions that I need to ask him, but this . . . he was still waiting for my answer if I really love him.
Suki ni natte mo ii desu ka
I think I love you, I think I do
Koishite mo ii desu ka
Say you love me
(Is it alright if I fall for you?
I think I love, I think I do
Is it alright if I come to love you?
Say you love me)
"Is it okay if I hold your hand like this?" he asked.
"Mm." the only thing I can answer
"Is it okay if I fell in love with you?" I asked.
"Yes, I would love to" he answered as he looked into my eyes.
"Is it okay if I come to love you?" he questioned me. I nodded as an answer. He chuckled
"So I guess, you know the answer to all of my questions, Haruhi" he just smirked as he gets something from his pocket. It was a silver necklace with a letter pendant "K" on it. I know what would my answer will be.
"If I say 'yes', I wouldn't call you 'senpai' anymore, right?" I asked as he chuckled and nodded.
"Of course, Haruhi. There are no barriers within us anymore. I will be waiting for you after college" he promised as he made me wear the necklace around my neck.
"See? It matched perfectly!" he concluded as he smiled at me. He showed his silver necklace with a letter pendant "H" on it. I can't help it but those tears fell in my eyes down to my cheeks as I chuckled.
But afar, Kyoya bowed as Mei, father and Misuzu-chi was on the door.
"Well, we have a guest" Misuzu-chi said as Mei laughed at us.
"I made him went here, Haruhi. He was asking for your hand to be your girlfriend a week ago. It seems like he found your mini-charm pouch" dad chuckled back at me.
"That's why you are very confident!" I gritted teeth on him. Dad can't help it but laughed.
"Now, child. We will leave you alone now before you went inside" he winked at me as he closed the door leaving us two again outside the house.
Awkward, indeed.
Soba ni ite mo ii desu ka (HORUMON no noudo ga joushou shite)
I think I love you, I think I do (DOOPAMIN ga dotto nagaredashita)
Te wo tsunaide mo ii desu ka (ketsuekijunkan ga yoku natte karada ga atsuku naru)
(Is it alright if I stay by your side? (The concentration of hormones increases)
I think I love you, I think I do (Dopamine has begun to flow)
Is it alright if I hold your hand? (and improved body circulation increases body heat) )
"Haruhi . . ." Kyoya looked at me and dragged me at the back of the pension house. We ran so that the people can't notice us we left there. We were huffing then chuckled at each other, but after that, our heart was begins to pound abnormally.
"Senpai . . . about that . . ." I began to break the barrier of silence as we sit on the garden chair.
"Yes?" he began to pin me against the chair. I can hear his heart beat abnormally rising.
"I love you . . ." I muttered. He adjusted his silver eyeglasses and kissed me on the forehead.
"I will always love you, Haruhi, and definitely I will" he smiled at me as he slowly cupped my cheeks and reached for my gaze. We were looking at each other and slowly reaching for my lips.
His lips were so warm and soft, and we get addicted to it.
Dainikansetsu wo hirogete
Anata wa sotto te wo nobashite
Watashi no hoho ni furenagara KISU wo shita
(You spread your joints
and softly hold out your hand
to touch my cheek as you kiss me)
It was the night after the graduation when we kissed each other and confronted our feelings to each other, and the mini charm pouch was back into my possession. As we went inside the pension house and spend the whole night, I know that this relationship takes time to build.
But the new chapter that we are facing makes everything go round.
A.N:
Basically, this is one of the Angela Aki SongFic Series since I really love Angela Aki's songs and got me motivated to write everyday. I don't own Kyoya Ootori and Haruhi Fujioka of Ouran High School Host Club by Bisco Hatori-sensei and the song being mentioned here. The flow of the story is just all my idea. :3
~Eri