So, got a little bit of hate for my last chapter of Scars!
I thought it was an alright chapter, really liked it, was the first one written for the story, but sure you guys are the judges and that's all that matters!
So, sorry!
To make it up to you, new story early!
Method in my madness, lads! Method in my madness!
Think I said this, but while this is still in movies section, it'll be less following the movies for the simple fact that, well, there's not gonna be another with Hawkeye for a while it seems! But yeah, still have moments!
Drop me a review!
DISCLAIMER; I OWN NOTHING TO DO WITH MARVEL! NEVER HAVE, UNFORTUNATELY NEVER WILL!
"Hawkeye! Ass up now!"
He growled a little and glanced at the clock on his night stand, taking his hearing aids out then because he really didn't want to listen to things this early!
He rolled over so he was face down in the pillow. He gave a little content sigh and nuzzled the pillow to find sleep once more.
No luck though..
He barely had a moments peace before a pillow was being bashed off his head.
He was used to this, she was such a child sometimes.
Though. probably because she pretty much was still a kid..
She soon gave up, he must have successfully ignored her enough.
Or not, because the morning ritual then began..
He bucked a bit with a growl to try get her off his back, her too busy trying to shove the hearing aids back in his ears to give up!
She cheats, that's his excuse.
Because every morning this happened.
Every morning she won.
Because she cheats and pins his arms by his side!
"Get your lazy ass up! Now! Natasha's at the door!"
"She's used to me being lazy!" He growled back, rolling over to his back when she finally got off of him and resting up on his elbows to look at her.
He gulped.
Those eyes were never good..
Those were the 'I'm going to throw you out the window again if you don't listen to me.' eyes..
"Just.. Two seconds, Kate.." He said quietly, and she smiled sweetly before turning with a flick of her long black hair and leaving his room once more.
Kate Bishop was going to be the death of him..
He gave a little sigh and swung his legs over the side of the bed, rubbing the tense muscles in the back of his neck a moment before getting up and going to find some clothes.
"Clint Barton hurry up!"
He heard being yelled, two voices, and he hung his head in annoyance.
Ok, Kate Bishop AND Natasha Romanoff were going to be the death of him..
He pulled on his t-shirt and jeans and left his room, rubbing some sleep from his eyes as he made his way to the kitchen of the little apartment he owned.
He hadn't been here long, about 9 months, after things went a little south (once again) in his life.
No boring you with details just yet! He was to be happy and joking and be Hawkeye!
Though, there were two Hawkeye's now.
When things went a little haywire during a mission some two years ago, he took a bad hit and was out of action for some time.
The Avengers and SHIELD needed a Hawkeye, a sharpshooter, otherwise their set of missions would just fall apart.
And that's where the kid came in.
Kate Bishop was a good shooter. Not as good as him, mind you. There were often times when he'd kick her ass at targets, but that's just life experience, because she's a good 10 years younger than he is.
Natasha always called her his little apprentice. Pissed Kate off, made Clint grin.
The two of them got on well together, as evident from the easy atmosphere in the kitchen when he entered, the two girls just talking over a cup of coffee.
While Clint was on leave, trying to shake half his side being blown off, the two girls continued on with missions. And, as Clint knew all too well, when you go on missions with someone for a while, you form a bond that no one else would ever understand.
"If it's just a mission, Romanoff, you could've just called." He said with a slight pout as he poured himself a cup of coffee, noticing the folder on the table infront of the Widow.
"Well, maybe I wanted to come check on your sorry ass." She replied with a slight smirk, and he couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped him.
That was as close to 'I'm kinda worried about you.' as the two of them ever got.
"Flattered, as always." He said with a little grin, taking the file from Kate's hands as he passed by her before going to sit next to Natasha.
"I was about to read that!" Kate whined, and Barton just held the file up to show her the big CONFIDENTIAL written across the front in red.
"Hawkeye only. You ain't Hawkeye anymore." He smirked, and she just huffed and walked off.
"She was a better Hawkeye than you are, bird brain." Romanoff teased, leaning back in her chair as Clint read the mission file.
He just hummed in agreement and sipped from his coffee, not really listening to her now as he read the file on the next mission.
"Seems simple enough.." He said softly once through the main mission report, absent-mindedly rubbing at the back of his neck.
"I think we'll find him this time." She said with a nod, taking his empty mug and hers to the sink to wash them up. "Not many places left for him to hide."
"He'd always find ways.." He said slowly, staring at the picture of the man infront of him.
Most of their missions had revolved around finding this guy the past while. And Clint wouldn't be happy until an arrow was sent through his skull.
Tyler Anderson. The guy haunts an awful lot of Clint's nightmares most nights.
HYDRA main thug, though that doesn't say much since there's barely any left for there to be main thugs. Wanted for illegal human experimentation, kidnapping, murder, assault, death ring matches..
"Still no kill order?" He asked in complete shock when he got to the last page, noting the words 'Capture' across the mission brief. That meant he wasn't allowed kill the guy and get away with it.
"He'll have way too much information to pass up." Natasha said softly, by Clint's side now and running a hand through his hair. "We get to interrogate him then and there though, so don't worry."
He nodded slightly and closed the file, pushing it across the table a bit before rubbing at his temples. It was too early for this kind of stuff.
"You need a shower man." Natasha chuckled after a while, and he just smiled to himself.
"Got in a little too late to last night." He shrugged, standing when he saw her grab her coat before walking her to the door.
"You're not still at that, are you?" She whispered with a little frown once at the door, he knew she'd be worried, she always was. "It's not good, Clint."
"It helps." He shrugged, opening the door for her before leaning against it. "Helps me forget things for a while."
He hated that smile she gave him when he said stuff like that. Well, it was nice, he guessed, but it was that mixture of pity and sadness that he never liked seeing.
She patted his cheek gently. "We leave in three days. I'm in town till then, so I'll try pop around."
"Just not this early next time." He replied with a small smirk, and she just rolled her eyes before walking off.
"1pm is not early, Francis." She called when she was down the hall.
He smiled a little to himself and shut the door, standing there a moment to gather his thoughts before heading back into the kitchen for another coffee.
He froze at the entrance way before sighing to himself. Of course she'd be reading the mission file..
"Hey!" Kate protested when the file was ripped from her hands, Clint sitting down opposite his little apprentice with the folder under his arms.
"Just listen once in a while, would ya kid?" He sighed, knowing what kind of information about him was in that file.
"Clint, just let me read! Your name is in there!" She pouted, reaching over to try grab it off of him. But he just yanked it out of reach and shook his head.
"Confidential."
"When has that ever stopped you showing me?"
"Now."
"Why?"
He lost. He couldn't think of a why. He didn't want her knowing his past? Didn't want her knowing what this monster was capable of? Didn't want her view on the word changing just because of this?
He didn't know. She wasn't some innocent kid who needed protecting. She was just like he was, kind of.
He sighed in defeat and slid the file over to her, ignoring the smug satisfaction on her face from winning.
He just watched the table as she read the file, feeling her look at him every now and again. He just couldn't watch as she read some of the worst things that happened to him.
"So you were.."
"Yep." He answered before she could finish.
"And they put that.."
"Right in my neck." Again.
"And threw you.."
"Into fights."
"And Nat.."
"Saved my ass." He smiled a little at that one, leaning back in his chair again to watch her as she tried get everything right in her mind.
"Hearing.."
"Sonic arrow goes boom, ear drums go boom."
"Damn Clint.." She sighed, looking to him with that look that he's seen too many times before. "It have any effects?"
"For a while, yeah.. Gone from my system now though.." He said quietly, looking to the table again to escape her gaze.
"What'd it do..?"
"It was a rough super soldier serum.. It was supposed to turn us into Captain America, basically."
"Well that failed." She laughed, and he just growled at her joke.
"It seriously did.. It tried help pain by thinning blood, meaning I'd bleed out in no time.. It broke apart muscles but forgot to rebuild them, so they didn't grow.. It gave way too high levels of adrenaline so I'd keep going and make injuries worse.." He said way too quietly, just watching the table for something to watch. "It made me so damn aggressive that I was even scared of me.."
"How'd they get it out..?" She asked just as quietly, and he just shrugged.
"It just eventually ran out of my system.. It wasn't like Cap's serum, it didn't stay, it just ran out.. During a mission of all times.."
"Now that's a story I gotta hear!" She said happily, and he had to smile at the excitement in her voice. She always asked him about missions, about all the old times during SHIELD and with the Avengers. He always obliged.
"I'm sure you have. Nat loves telling the story of how I fell down some stairs and was unconscious for two weeks." He laughed, standing up to go pour the two of them some more coffee.
"That was THAT mission?" She asked in surprise, and he just nodded.
"Thing ran out of my system while we were running down the stairs and I just collapsed. Was probably only five months after the whole capture happened. Y'see, when they tested the serum, they saw that it didn't cling to the cells like Cap's does. It just circulates around the blood stream."
"So they'd have to keep injecting to keep a perfect soldier." She finished, and he nodded as he set a fresh mug of coffee down infront of her.
"Exactly. But I was taken off of it, so I was just a ticking time bomb. It was a good thing Nat was there. Otherwise, I probably would've died from the withdrawal that followed."
Things fell into a silence, and he was fine with that, though he wished she had of waited until his coffee was swallowed before speaking next..
"You and Nat look good together.."
His coffee was spit all over the table, and he could just hear her laughing over his choking.
"Too soon?" She asked through her laughs, though she had enough control to get him some kitchen paper to wipe himself off.
"Just a bit." He growled, red faced now. Though he couldn't tell if that was from embarrassment or from choking.
"Gotta get out there again, Hawkdude!" She grinned, wiping down the table for him now. "There's something there, just trust me!"
"I know there is.." He replied quietly, rubbing the back of his neck once more. She paused and looked at him for an explanation, though the look she had on told him she really didn't need one.
"No. Way." She said with slightly side eyes, grinning a little then. "You two were so a thing! I knew it! I should've put money on it!"
"Wasn't exactly a secret.." He said quietly, standing to take off his now coffee soaked shirt and throwing it in the corner for washing before walking off to his room for another.
"What happened? What did you do? Cause there's no way you're THAT stupid to break up with her, so she so broke up with you! Clint!" She spoke so quickly but he caught it all.
And they were the questions he asked himself many times before.
He couldn't talk about it though, so he just closed the door in his friends face, locked it, and went to climb in the bed.
He took his aids out once again to ignore the girl banging on the door outside before burying his face in the pillow.
Too much mental shit for this early in the day..
"About that proposal.."
He looked up from his pancakes with a confused face, not expecting those words from her mouth really!
"Yeah..?" He asked cautiously, wiping some of the last bit of syrup from his face as he tried get his pulse under control.
"I can't lose you, y'know.." She said quietly, not looking at him though. And that sank his heart, because it wasn't good news if she didn't look at him. "I gotta hold onto you, but marriage isn't the way to do that.."
"What do you mean..?"
No answer. She was just completely silent. He watched on as he waited, waited for her to finish whatever thoughts or battles she was currently having in her mind.
"People in our line of work.. We just don't marry." She finally said, and he both physically and mentally deflated.
"So.. That's a no then..?"
"That's a no.." She confirmed, finally looking at him with that blank Black Widow face he had come to know.
He wasn't so good at putting on a mask though, he was already tearing up, because the dreams he had for the two of them were just shattering right infront of him.
He rubbed the back of his head as he tried get things in check. "Ah man.."
"It doesn't change things, Clint. I still love you." She said softly, reaching a hand across to offer it to him.
He didn't take it.
"Just not enough to marry me.."
"Too risky, Clint." She sighed, standing to go wash up the breakfast stuff.
"You're not afraid of getting hurt, are you?" He asked quickly, standing so he could be level with her. "Because I'd never do that Tash. Never, really."
She just shook her head, not facing him though so he couldn't gauge her emotions at all.
"You'll understand one day. For now, just trust me.."
He couldn't take that for an answer. He just couldn't. He went up behind her and spun her by the shoulders so she was looking at him. She was shocked, he knew that, but he was just annoyed now.
"Tell me. Now." He growled, and he knew it was a mistake the second the words left his mouth.
"Don't you speak to me like that you asshole. It's a no. Accept that." She said with an annoyed face, swatting his arms away before walking away from him.
He just let her.
He should have stopped her, but he just let her go to the room, get dressed, grab her stuff, and walk out the door.
He didn't protest, didn't go after her. He didn't say a single word about it. He just let Natasha Romanoff, the best thing that ever happened to him, walk right out of his life.
But she didn't give him a reason! Not a single one!
If there was a reason, then he'd accept it no problem!
But there was nothing.
He growled to himself at what had just happened, what was he to do now?
He did what was natural to him.
He went on a little mad one.
He flipped the table, broke some chairs. Nearly all his plates were smashed, and his knuckles were bleeding from hitting the walls.
But he couldn't help it.
He just lost everything.
He was broken so he wanted to break some other things. He needed the place to look like how he felt right now.
Soon enough, he was against the press in the kitchen, sitting with his knees pulled to his chest as he let his tears fall freely.
He just lost everything.
His room always got the sun in the evening, so next time he woke he knew it must've been past 8pm since the sun was setting.
He sighed gently and rolled over onto his back, staring up at the roof a moment to try shake the dream of that horrible day.
It had been so long ago though, he thought he was over it, he was over it, and more, for the longest time sure!
So why was it still having such an impact on his life?
Why was it still plaguing him?
Why was she still in his head.
"Because you love her, you idiot.." He growled to himself, reaching over to the other side of the mattress and putting his aids back in place before getting up from the bed.
Dammit, he hated that thought.
They had lived such separate lives the past few years, been through such horrible things, such amazing things. They have finally built a best friend relationship once more and now he realised he still loves her!?
He went and unlocked the door, leaving then to go to the kitchen to grab a drink.
Once he had the bottle opened and the fridge closed, he noticed something wrapped in tin foil and a note attached.
He raised an eyebrow and took the note, smiling to himself as he read it.
'Bird Brain,
Kate didn't know what she was asking, don't be too mad and give me a call later if you need to talk.
Eat this first though.
And for the love of god have a shower!
-Natasha.'
Dammit, she knew him too well.
He took the dinner and put it in the microwave before downing his beer in one and going for another.
These women really were going to be the death of him!
One constantly crushed his mind, the other constantly crushed his heart.
How was he to compete with that!?
Just.. Survive the women for three days then you can kill some assholes, Barton.
Simple.
Right..?
Oh, why weren't women simple..