Dark Paradise

Loving you forever can't be wrong…

Monica tapped her fingers on the table, staring at the clock on the wall. She was sure that time was standing still, keeping her stuck in this horrible nightmare forever. No matter what she did, she relived that phone call over and over again.

"I often thought he was indestructible." She spoke, her lips pursing together at the end of her sentence. Silently she mulled over what she would do to make the time go quicker.

"Like a superhero?" Katherine suggested, eyeing over her friend and her fragile state.

"Exactly that." Monica nodded, squeezing her hand tighter around the glass in her hand before downing the last of the scotch.

Her worst fears; doing the opposite of what she should be doing. Drinking until she felt numb, until everything she felt would slowly melt away. She could lose herself in a blissful state, rendering sleep possible unlike her sober counterpart. The tip of her finger traced around the rim of the glass, mesmerised by the motion. Tilting her head back she took in a deep breath, letting her eyes slip shut. Darkness overcame her but just as it came, it flickered into brightness; memories once long forgotten surged forward, a reminder of their relationship now shattered into the only thing she had left. Memories.

Flashback

The harsh crunch of snow beneath her heels echoes through the empty street. The sky glowed an eerie orange, the crisp white snow reflecting the bursts of light from street lamps. Snow was still falling over central New York, the weather forecast made sure everyone knew it wouldn't be stopping soon. Monica let out a breath; her gaze dipped down to the snow covered path every now and then, the tips of her shiny patent pumps glittered with icy crystals.

Stopping outside of the bar she was very much familiar with, Monica suddenly wondered if she was doing right thing. She had come this far, she couldn't go back now. Pulling the door open, the dusty atmosphere hit her quicker than she had expected. Wafting her hand in front of her face she moved further inside, taking in the old warn interior - including the patrons.

She didn't know why he liked this place so much - maybe it was because it had character. Gently she pulled out a stool from the bar, the legs scraping against the worn oak floors before she slipped onto it.

"Are you lost?" The husky voice that brushed against her cheek sent shivers along her spine. Her eyes slipped closed for a second whilst the familiar scent of the man's aftershave clouded her senses.

"I know exactly where I am." Monica purred, opening her eyes then pulling out a cigarette from her purse, sliding it between her lips. Before she could light it, Stu snatched it away and snapped it in half.

"You told me you weren't coming around here anymore."

Monica sighed, pursing her lips before choosing her next words carefully. She spun around on her stool, her knees bumping into Stu, making her heartbeat quicken. "I had to see you, before you left."

"You mean you had to see me to try and make me change my mind?" Stu's words left a bitter taste in Monica's mouth. They were hard to swallow, mainly because it was the truth.

"You're just as stubborn as me, Stu. I know there's nothing else I can do to make you stay."

"Then tell me something sweetheart," Stu sat down on the stool next to Monica, his large warm palm landing on her thigh. "Why did you really come here?"

Stu watched Monica closely, her gaze dipped down to his chest, burning right through him. He squeezed her leg and watched as she bit down onto her bottom lip.

"I just wanted to say goodbye." Monica glanced up as the words slipped from her mouth. It was the truth.

"Again? You're talking like I'll be gone forever." Stu laughed and shook his head. He lifted his hand from her thigh, and slammed his fist down on the counter. The bar tender turned as the harsh sound but relaxed when he saw it was Stu.

"Another?" The bar tender asked but taking another look at Monica he shook his head, changing his mind about the drink he had just wanted.

"Actually, no thanks mate." The bar tender nodded at Stu, returning to his duties behind the bar.

"What are you doing in a bar if you're not drinking?" Monica mused, sliding her fingers along the edge of the bar. Her movements stopped as her fingers bumped into Stu's big hand lying flat on the surface.

"Let's go."

"I'm sorry, what?" Stu had already gripped hold of her wrist, pulling her upwards from the stool with ease.

Stu stopped and pressed his lips to her ear, warm breath fanning across her skin. "I want to say goodbye properly."

Monica couldn't respond, her mind was reeling, trying to comprehend what Stu had just said to her. "Stu..." Monica trailed off but let him guide her out of the bar with no reluctance.

"Did you get a cab here?" Stu asked as they stepped back into the snowy street. He held his hands together next to his mouth, blowing warm air into them.

"I walked." Monica tugged her coat further over her body; it hadn't seemed so cold when she first arrived. Maybe she'd just had more on her mind to distract her from the bitter freezing weather nipping at her exposed skin.

Stu slipped his warm hand into Monica's then started walking down the street. Silence ensued, broken only by the crunch of snow beneath their slow footsteps. He watched as she purposely blew out a breath of air, seemingly mesmerised as the condensation disappeared into the night.

"Do you like to blow?" Monica stopped in her tracks, eyebrows raised and lips parted in shock. Stu's nonchalant stance and expression didn't do her any good. She slapped his arm and couldn't stop the smile forming on her lips, soon followed by laughter. He knew how to break the tension - in the worst way possible - but it eased her and settled her down a little.

"Very funny." Monica still hadn't dropped her smile, delighted that Stu cracked a smirk too. "Is this how you're going to get through the next six months?"

"With a laugh and a prayer, maybe." Stu's smirk dropped and his pace quickened. "Let's not talk about this."

Monica sighed but she had to agree with him. She didn't want to think about him leaving for England in the next few days. It was a small feat that he hadn't been annoyed that she'd showed up at his regular watering hole. They'd met seven days prior on Stu's terms; he explained his deployment and his return to England would be imminent. His life in the army had been put on hold for a year, deciding he wanted to spend it abroad to make some new and different memories. Their friendship had been building for the past 8 months, but it was complicated at best.

Holding in all of her emotions when he'd told her the news, she had wished him good luck and goodbye, effectively terminating their on and off intimate relationship. That wasn't how she wanted to end things though; she wanted to hold him and kiss him, remind him that she'd be waiting for him when he returned. If he returned. Those were the things she knew she wanted but didn't voice, leaving the ball in Stu's court. Not knowing if Stu would be at the bar or not, she'd taken a risk. A risk regarding the state of her heart and emotions if she managed to tell Stu everything that was lingering in her mind, things that were driving her crazy every day.

Yet to utter a single word about how she really felt, Monica clamped her mouth shut; she didn't want to ruin this moment. As they walked towards her apartment in the heart of the theatre district, Monica glanced at their joined hands. The warmth of him seeped into her skin, taking her mind off the cold air still sweeping around her legs with each step she took.

"You didn't have to walk me here." Monica spoke as she saw the doors to her apartment building across the street.

"Right, because I'm the kind of man that would kick you out of a bar and send you home on your own." Stu smirked, delighted that Monica rolled her eyes at his comment. He was right; he wasn't that kind of man at all. Stu was a noble man, caring and always put her first. Why she hadn't tried to snatch him up before she didn't quite know. Their relationship was casual; Monica thought that was what he wanted.

Half expecting Stu to just leave her outside, she was surprised when he escorted her inside. Promptly he walked her over to the elevators, hitting the up button with the thick pad of his finger. His hand never left hers, sending her some comfort; but now she didn't want to let go. Letting go of Stu wasn't an option.

The door to her apartment grew closer and closer and with each step she wanted time to stand still. Her heart grew heavy, bursting with all the emotions she felt for the man - that for so long - was just known to her as her friend.

They stopped, and so did Monica's heart. She looked up into the jade eyes that were staring at her, coaxing her into a hypnotised state. All of a sudden she wanted to spill her feelings.

"Goodbye." Stu spoke quietly against her ear before sliding his lips across to kiss her cheek. Monica felt her heart beat rapidly; Stu was slipping through her fingers.

Monica turned her head, purposely catching her lips against Stu's. She didn't want him to leave her on her doorstep and go. Actually, she didn't want him to leave her full stop. They both held still for what seemed like forever, neither wanting to deepen the kiss or separate. But Stu pulled back; Monica searched his eyes to try and figure out what he was thinking or feeling.

Monica's lips parted, all intentions set on finally telling him how she felt before he left. She'd missed her opportunity the first time, she couldn't miss it again.

"I love you." Stu's words replaced those Monica was about to speak. Monica pushed her lips against Stu's, letting her hands slide through the hair at the back of his head. He engulfed her within his large arms, holding her close to his body where she belonged.

"I love you, Stu." Monica was finally able to speak once Stu had stopped kissing her. "Please stay the night."

Stu let his forehead rest against Monica's as he nodded, wanting nothing more than to show her just how much he really did love her. He'd been yearning to tell her, but their throws of passion in the past had been just that. Passion and lust, laced with friendship.

Monica reached into her purse, rummaging around for her keys. Bordering desperation, she was becoming frantic; her heart now controlling her mind and body. Feeling Stu behind her and his lips tenderly kissing her neck she wasn't sure how long she would last. Monica pushed at the door once she had found the keys and unlocked the damn thing. Stu followed straight behind her, his hands lingering at her sides; he couldn't get them away from her.

Dropping her bag to the floor and making sure the door was shut, Monica wrapped her arms around Stu's neck, separating the distance between their lips by kissing him. She poured out her love, trying with every fibre in her body to show and declare her feelings without words. The spark was there, it always had been, but now it was different. There was tenderness, longing and they both indulged a little more.

Monica pulled at his shirt; the buttons getting stuck, stopping her from getting Stu undressed as quick as she had hoped. Blowing a frustrated sigh through her lips, Monica wasn't about ready to give up. Stu chuckled and pulled her hands away from the offending buttons. His thick fingers deftly popped the buttons hers couldn't and she knew a smirk was now gracing his features.

"You can thank me later." Stu said, stifling a moan as Monica's needy hands pressed against his warm chest, trailing down to the waistband of his pants. Leaning forward, she pushed her lips to his sculpted pectorals.

Slowly he tugged her coat off, making her step away from him for briefest of moments. Stu's hands gripped her top of her arms before running down to her wrists. She shivered at his touch, wanting to stay within his arms forever. He pulled at the zipper at the back of her dress, delighted when it slipped freely down her body and onto the floor. Monica was quick to follow suit, forcefully tugging his shirt off his shoulders so she could let her hands roam over more of his exposed skin.

Monica arched her back, lips gliding over Stu's shoulder. A moan escaped her and her short nails raked down his muscled back. Feeling Stu's big hands grip onto her hips, Monica glanced up seeing him staring down at her. She wondered what he was thinking, maybe it was the same thing she was. Or maybe he wasn't thinking at all, just going with emotions and, god forbid, his hormones. Maybe she was the one thinking too much.

Stu bit down on her neck, his hands sliding up her sided until they reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. He startled her and shattered the thoughts her mind had conjured up. Monica smiled as Stu kissed where his teeth had previously been. He stepped forwards making her move with him, and he wanted her in the bed.

Monica took Stu by the hand, leading him around her apartment towards the bedroom. She swiped her tongue across her lips, swollen from Stu's needy kisses. Once she had kicked her shoes off, she turned to Stu. Her lips curved into a smile, capturing him in a trance as she backed herself towards the bed. Before she could even attempt to move onto the bed, Stu gripped her hips and lifted her up. Her body rubbed against his, delicious friction that caused Monica to moan. Growling against her, he placed her down in the middle of the bed, devouring her with his hungry gaze. He wanted every inch of her. He wanted to claim her like no man had ever done before. Most of all, he wanted to love her.

"Take your pants off." Monica spoke out as Stu stood at the end of the bed, watching over her every move. He smirked, slowly licking his lips.

"I'll get to it, don't worry." Monica smiled at Stu's playful tone, but silently wished he would just hurry already. "I'm not rushing anything."

Monica pushed herself up onto her elbows, her gaze settling on Stu's bare torso as he eventually pulled his belt buckle loose. His hungry stare was making her go crazy. She wanted his hands on her, yet his movements were still painfully and purposely slow. She moved onto her knees and reached out, her hands shoved Stu's out of the way so she could unbutton and free him of his pants. "I can't help myself." Monica breathed out, becoming more frantic by the second. "I need you now."

Stu felt the same, the need was clear for Monica to see. She ran her hand over his trapped manhood, eliciting a moan from the large man. Not once did his stare falter or move from her, intense and strong it heated her body. She continued to tease with her hands, one hand running up his toned, muscled abdominals whilst the other continued to run over his hard length.

Revelling in the attention for a few moments, Stu let his eyes slip shut. His body reacted to Monica - it always did. As much as he enjoyed the feeling of her hands on him, he wanted more. Groaning as she tugged down his boxer briefs, he gripped onto her wrists and tugged her hands away from him, stepping out of the unwanted garment of clothing. His big hands slipped to her neck, pulling her forward then stealing her breath with a needy kiss. Pushing her backwards he finally made his way onto the bed, his large body hovering over hers. Slowly his lips grazed across her neck and over her collar bone, her back arched and she writhed underneath him. Her foot ran up the back of his leg, coaxing him closer until both of her legs wrapped around his hips and she rocked against him. Stu braced himself on the bed using his elbows, knowing his weight would crush her.

A smirk grazed Stu's handsome face as Monica unlocked her legs from his hips. She dipped her fingers under the lace of her panties and dragged them down her long legs. Stu helped her out and made sure they ended up somewhere on the floor of her bedroom. Monica continued to explore his body, running her hands across Stu's biceps and the designs etched onto his skin. Her mind and body running through different emotions as Stu gripped onto her leg and brought it around his hips again.

Gasping as Stu pushed into her, inch by inch, Monica scraped her nails down his back. He hissed as they sunk into his skin, but pulled out and thrust again. He held her close, the tip of his nose sliding up her neck before his lips descended just above her pulse point. She moved with him, body ablaze with passion and love; fuelling her and making her give Stu everything she had. Throwing her head back as the pressure built up, Stu took advantage. His breathing was harsh against her skin, lips kissing from her neck along her jaw.

Stu's groan rumbled deep in his chest, his movements strong and purposeful but filled with love. Monica's moans and whimpers spurred him on, every muscle in his body hard and tense. He felt himself nearing the edge, the woman under him driving him wild. He growled, digging his fingers into her hip before he moved across to rub her clit. Her moans turned into a gasp, feeling her body tremble and shake as the familiar sensations flowed through her body.

Tighter and tighter her legs gripped around Stu, back arched and head thrown back. Stu covered her lips with his, silencing her sounds of pleasure. He loved her and had taken too long to see it. Her eyes started into his, never looking away as her orgasm tore through her body. Tightly she held onto him, breaking the kiss so she could take in much needed air. Stu continued to thrust into her, closer and closer being pulled towards a blissful climax. A groan tore from his chest as he came, movements slowing and body feeling weak.

Monica reached up, pushing a few strands of jet black hair away from Stu's forehead. Still unable to speak, she just smiled. Her heart felt complete and her mind at ease, if only for a fleeting moment. She didn't want the bubble to burst.

-The Next Morning-

Monica smiled in her half sleepy state, rolling over expecting to find Stu's warm body to wrap her arms around. Her eyes shot open as she hit a cold empty space instead. Suddenly she was wide awake, feeling like a piece of her heart had just been taken. "Stu?"

Monica waited and waited for a reply, but she didn't get one. She didn't think he would hurt her like this. Hearing a door slam shut, Monica felt like she'd just been shoved out of her worst nightmare. "Stu?" She shouted again, a smile creeping to her face as she saw him step around the doorway. "I thought you'd left."

"I had." Stu had his hands behind his back, making Monica suspicious. She raised an eyebrow at his behaviour; his methodical steps were slow as he neared her. As he reached the side of the bed, he revealed what was hidden behind his back. Monica cast her gaze upon one single long stemmed rose, held between Stu's thick fingers. Monica sat up, clutching the thin white cotton sheet to her chest. She reached out for the rose as Stu held it out to her.

"Thank you."

"I have to leave though." Stu crouched down next to the bed, reaching out to run this thumb across her cheek. She nodded, understanding completely. Though in her mind she wanted to beg him to stay, he had other things to attend to. Things that scared Monica yet daren't voice. "I'll come back for you."

"Promise?" Monica half joked, not wanting to come across too pushy. She just wanted to know everything that happened the previous night wasn't just conjured up in some over imaginative corner of her mind.

"When have I ever broken a promise?" Leaning forward he kissed her, slowly massaging his lips against hers. "When I come back we'll start this for real."

End Flashback

The rich deep red rose petals were held tightly in her hand, the black leather gloves she wore stretched tight against her skin. The overcast skies brightened for a passing moment, shedding some light on the otherwise dreary cemetery. 4 months wasn't long enough. The emotions were still raw.

She opened her hand, letting the wind take the rose petals from her, scattering them across the grave and grass sounding the large granite headstone. Monica bent down, her hand dragging across the cold granite and the letters beautifully engraved into it. This was her time to say goodbye, but she knew he would be waiting on the other side. He had promised.

There's no you, except in my dreams tonight…