SPOILERS: This is a bit of a spoiler to anyone who hasn't read up to the Openbound intermission. It's nothing major or plot-relevant, so go ahead and read if you want to.

One big orgy with everyone in the Homestuck cast that I could think to fit in under plot constraints. This is also working under the assumption that both sexes of trolls have bone bulges. If you don't know what I mean by it, or have trouble visualizing, here is a good impression: post/view/749890 . Regardless, since we don't know for sure how things work down there with trolls, I'm assuming that their bulges go with their personalities and motifs. I also refuse to be entirely faithful to typing quirks for immersion, but I will try to stay true to the spirit of the characters.

It was a lot of fun making this. I'm definitely going to make more of these. If you have a ship that can fit into the situation, please leave a request.

"Kankri, I know I'm going to regret asking this-"

"Karkat, if you know that this will inevitably lead to an upsetting conversation, then you should have the common courtesy to not start such a beastly topic in the first place. Even if you are absolutely positive that you need the information that you would obtain from such a request, you should have prefaced it with a trigger warning for the decency of those who may be offended by what you are about to say."

Karkat fidgeted with his god-tier outfit while waiting for Kankri to finish his rant, only partially paying attention to what he had to say. "Fine, a trigger warning to whosoever-"

"And whatsoever- It is imperative that you don't upset those who identify themselves as objects instead of people. If you offended-"

"Whosoever and whatsoever may be offended by talk of: ghosts, dream bubbles, alternate timelines, trollian anatomy, and…" Karkat trailed off at the end, pale eyes sinking to the floor.

"I am ever so sorry, I did not hear that last part, could you please speak up."

Karkat muttered something into the front of his shirt.

"And again?"

"And flushed quadrants."

"Why, Karkat, I'm shocked! this collection of tags would mean that you shouldn't be discussing that with anyone of high taste. I feel triggered just thinking about what you may be insinuation by these statements. You should know that these types of conversations are unfit for such a candid question such as this. If you wish to know, then by all means, you may find out, but not in such a public place. I am sure that there are many places to…"

Karkat didn't hear that last part because he decided that he had passed the point of no return in his current conversation with his dancestor. He started to shuffle out of the room, quietly yelling, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…" until he was interrupted by a smooth, matronly voice.

"You've started him going again, haven't you?"

Karkat looked over to the source of the voice, mouth still open in preparation of adding a final letter 'k' to his grumblings.

Porrim leaned against the doorway of the room, skin glowing faintly. "He should be done in about an hour. In the meantime, though, I could answer your question."

Karkat closed his mouth, embarrassed about leaving it hanging open for so long. He took a moment to compose himself, took a deep breath, and was interrupted by by Porrim.

"No."

"What?"

"We've tried, but we can't"

"The fuck?"

"It was pretty obvious that you were going to ask about breeding, so I cut to the chase."

"How did you- When did you-" Karkat closed his eyes and started again, taking his time with his words. "How did you know I was going to ask about sex?"

Porrim gave a mischievous grin and leaned down over Karkat. "You should wear looser pants if you're going to ask people about this sort of thing."

Karkat's gaze shot to his crotch. Sure enough, he could see a bulge starting to grow under the fabric. He swiftly tried to cover himself with his cape, only to find it too narrow to fit all the way around. He settled for turning his back to Porrim instead. "F-f-fine." He could feel his cheeks growing hot and red, making him even more embarased. "And exactly how do you know this?"

Porrim sauntered up behind Karkat and whispered in his ear. "I think you already know how I know. It is my job to save the species afterall." In response, Karkat gave a little jump and a yelp that could have been interpreted as the word, "Fuck."

Karkat wheeled around and backed away from Porrim as fast as he could manage without seeming ruder than usual.

"Us ghosts are completely infertile. Use this information wisely, Karkat." Porrim called after Karkat. "And one more thing, if you're anything like old blabbermouth in there," she hitched a thumb at Kankri, still giving a sermon to nobody in particular. "you have an amazing gift. Don't be embarrassed about it.

Karkat blushed even harder and stormed out of the room, imagining a door into another room. At this point, he didn't care what the next room was or where he was going. He just wanted to be out of there.

As soon as he crossed the threshold of this newly-connected point in space, he turned on his heels and shoved the door closed, lingering with his palms pressed against the wooden slats.

"KK, is that you? I can taste that cherry red from here."

"Fuck double ass dicks." Karkat shoved his back against the door. Terezi stood on the other side of a low counter, slowly walking towards him.

"I was just going through some old places that I visited. I didn't expect to see you here."

"Hi, Terezi, I was just… Uh… Walking."

"And where were you walking to, my little-" Terezi sniffed twice in Karkat's general direction. "You're not wearing your usual cloths. You're a different Karkat."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean. That sounds absolutely stupid. We're all basically the same people as our other timelines. We just made some different stupid mistakes from each other to end up here."

"And that's what I love about you."

Karkat sighed heavily and stepped away from the door.

"Is there something on your mind?"

"Just something that I heard from a few of our dancestors."

"Did they say anything about getting back to the main plot?"

"No, it was about…" Karkat stopped short and grimaced at nearly letting it slip.

"You're going to have to speak up if you want to be heard, Candy Corn."

"Fucking!"

"..." Terezi's near-permanent grin took a brief vacation from her face. "Huh?"

"I asked if there was any way to repopulate without the matriorb. They said that we're totally infertile when we're ghosts."

"Wow."

"I know, right? Through our entire useless existence here, I thought that we might be able to do something useful. Most of us can't help the quest in any meaningful way, we can't leave the dream bubble to go fight anything, and now we can't even fuck each other."

Terezi's smile inched back into her face. "Well, I suppose that we could fuck, but we couldn't make wigglers with it." She slid onto and then over the counter, sitting just inches away from Karkat.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

"If there are no consequences, you shouldn't have a problem with me doing this, then." Terezi punctuated the word, "this" by pulling off her shirt, revealing her bare breasts. By all rights, they weren't huge, but Karkat's bulge found them to be more than enough. Immediately, he could feel his pants getting tighter and tighter.

"And now it's your turn." Terezi began to pull Karkat's shirt over his head, licking her lips in anticipation.

"Wait, Terezi!" Karkat yelled in protest, but by the time he called out, his shirt was already over his head.

"Oh my glob." Terezi began to snigger as Karkat struggled with the head hole of his hoodie.

"I know, very funny. Shut the fuck up, already." Terezi could barely maintain herself, pointing and laughing at Karkat's pants, which came up to his nipples. "Could you stop that, already." Terezi continued to snicker, nearly crying out of laughter.

"Fine, if that's the way it's going to be, I'll just have to take my pants off." Karkat unbuttoned a strap on his chest and began to unzip the huge pair of pants down to his crotch."

When Karkat was about half way down with his zipper, Terezi obliged to do the same, undoing her pants and sliding them to the floor, revealing a five-inch, sharp-looking bulge, colored teal blue.

Terezi finished kicking her pants away and tracked her eyes back to Karkat. Now let's see your bone bul-" Terezi stopped short at the sight of Karkat's bulge poking out from his pants. Karkat was still working his legs out of the holes, but from what Terezi could see, it was a deep red with a forked end.

"What was that, Terezi?" Karkat finished with his pants, letting them fall where he was standing. Now that he was standing up and her view was unobstructed, she could see it for all its glory; an eight-inch, dark red, thick bulge that was forked at about an inch-and-a-half from the top.

"Now that's a bulge!"

Karkat began to blush again, but threw his head to the side before Terezi could notice. "Let's just get this over with."

"Get it over with? Isn't this your first time? I thought that you would want to make this special." Terezi bit her lip seductively.

"You've never done this either!" Karkat retorted.

Terezi smiled back. "First time for everything, I suppose."

"Um, um, shouldn't we get a bucket?" Karkat stammered, staring at Terezi's bulge, which started to writhe and undulate slightly, growing progressively slimier.

"What for? We can't make wigglers, and the mess goes away when we leave this memory, so it shouldn't matter if we have a bucket or not."

"I guess you're right." Karkat took a deep breath, braced himself, and stepped forwards into Terezi. Their bulges met and Terezi's immediately wrapped around the length of Karkat's. They both gasped at the pleasure they felt, caressing each other as their shafts intertwined.

"Oh. Oh glob. This is *gasp* amazing!"

Karkat gave a grunt in agreement. They stayed there for an immeasurable amount of time, holding eachother, Terezi sitting on the counter and Karkat supporting her, Bulges growing more and more rambunctious as time went on. "Karkat, it feels so good!" Terezi flung her head back and began to rock her hips up and down, adding even more movement to the symphony of pleasure. Karkat followed suit, thrusting in time with Terezi, pulling their intertwined legs apart before slamming them back together, creating even more pleasure.

"I feel-I feel- I'm- I'm-" Terezi tried to get her words out, but couldn't concentrate long enough to form a complete though. Karkat understood its meaning, though, and answered with his own, "Me too!"

The two of them greeted together until, simultaneously, they let out a screech, and forced their hips together again. Their bulges coiled together, Karkat's twin tips embracing Terezi's, both of them ejaculating. Terezi shot a stream of pastel blue straight up, arcing back down to the coil that they had created together, while Karkat sprayed his pink seed straight onto Terezi's throbbing erection.

Karkat collapsed onto Terezi's naked form, painting mirroring her's. "KK… That was… incredible."

"*Huff huff* Yah." Their bulges continued to twist and coil, rubbing against each other and spreading blue, pink and purple all over their abdomens.

"I don't know about you, but i feel like I could go again. *Pant pant*"

"Fuck yes." Karkat rolled onto his back, off of Terezi, disentangling himself from her.

Terezi stood up on the countertop and stepped over Karkat, straddling him. "You ready for this, Candy Corn?"

"Just fucking fuck me, already."

"With pleasure."

Karkat concentrated on his bulge, tightening it into a rod, forcing the tips together until they resembled a drill. Terezi nealt down on Karkat's bulge, forcing it deep into her nook.

"Oh, yes!" she screamed. Her bulge started flailing around, slapping against her and Karkat, leaving red and blue welts. She forced herself lower onto Karkat's shaft, still screaming in ecstasy as she went.

She threw her head back and her eyes rolled back, but even then, she still had an entire inch of erection to descend. "Oh yes, yes, yes, yes! This is the best thing I've ever felt before!" Throwing caution to the wind, she sat down hard on Karkat, completely engulfing his member.

Karkat could feel the very back of her nook with the end of his bulge now, scraping against a tight wall of flesh. "FUCK!" they both yelled at once as Terezi's bulge went into a frenzy, pumping a stream of cum over everything around them. Karkat reached climax as well, filling Terezi with his juice until it started to spray back out.

Terezi blacked out, falling on top of Karkat, who also had trouble keeping consciousness. He fought to keep his head up, but eventually, slipped into darkness.

Karkat woke up some time later to find Terezi still on top of him. She stirred a little, and opened her red eyes. "What happened?" she inquired groggily.

"We almost literally fucked eachothers' brains out.

"Oh…" She took a slow sweep around the room. "How did we end up here?"

Karkat looked up to see what she was talking about. Above them was a massive field of stars, twinkling in the pitch-black night.

"I remember this," Karkat whispered in wonder, "I wandered out here once when I was young. We must have slipped into this memory while we were sleeping.

"It's beautiful."

"Yah, I used to be such a nice kid back then. I hardly ever got angry…" The two of them laid together for a while until Karkat gave a small groan.

"What is it?"

Karkat looked down at their adjacent privates and found their bulges emerging from their nooks yet again.

"You ready for round two?" Terezi started to bounce on Karkat, gently rubbing their slits together.

"Yah, but we should probably was off first." Karkat looked down at himself. He was covered in a mixture of blue and pink cum that had started to try in places. "I think there's a stream on the other side of this hill." So there definitely is one, shit-for-brains. If you think that you remember something, then it's in you dream bubble. Karkat internally scolded himself for a poor choice of words.

Terezi stood up, slightly uneasy on her feet after so much hip thrusting and pounding. Karkat stood up after her, equally uneasy. From their standing position, they could easily see a small brook that wound its way down the near side of the hill, slowly emptying out into a field below.

Terezi eased herself in first, bulge slurping back in and nipples popping out from the cold water. Karkat slipped into the current with similar results.

"Jeeze, KK, could you have imagined a colder stream for us to bathe in?"

"Well, maybe next time, you should pick the spot that we fuck in!"

Terezi licked a spot of pink cum off of her breast. "Maybe I will."

The two of them proceed to splash cold water on themselves, washing off and waking them up. After they were both done, they marched back to the top of the hill and looked out into the night sky. Karkat spoke up. "Sometimes, I really miss this shit hole."

"Yah." Terezi took a large breath in, smelling the night air and perceiving the specs of white as sweet grains of sugar in a void of black licorice. "How did you do that thing back there?"

"Hmm?"

"That thing you did with your bulge."

"You mean sex?"

"No, that thing where I sat down on it." Terezi was becoming increasingly flustered.

"Then you mean how I literally did absolutely nothing as you impaled yourself with me."

"No! Yes. I don't know." Terezi looked down at the grass in front of her. "When my bulge felt that good, it did whatever it wanted, but you seemed to have some amount of control over it.

They both stared at the sky for a while until Karkat spoke again. "I don't know… but I do know that we could test it again."

Karkat looked over at Terezi. Terezi smiled back. Lets try it, then.