"You have to be joking."
"Nope. No such thing as joking in my vocabulary."
"Sonuva bitch. You truly are a crazy bastard."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Captain William Riker of the USS Titan said with a smile.
"Sure you do," Lieutenant Commander Cerlen Elaria of Deep Space Nine replied with a scowl.
"What about crazy bastards?" Admiral Elizabeth Shelby of Space Station Bravo asked, holding a synthehol martini in one hand and a padd in the other.
"I was telling him that his plan is increasingly getting stupider and stupider," Cerlen said.
Shelby laughed, "Of course it is. But it'll work. Picard's luck brushed off on him."
"Should you be drinking that?" Riker asked Shelby, gesturing first to the martini, then to her swollen stomach, "I thought that pregnant women couldn't drink alcohol."
"It's synthehol. Trust me, I checked with Doctor Crusher," Shelby replied.
Commander Deanna Troi leaned back and took the entire scene in.
"I think that someone is nervous in here. Relax, it'll be fine. I'm sure that Jean-Luc will have no idea what is going to happen," she said, trying to clear her mind from someone's overwhelming nervousness.
"Sure," the final plotter sighed, "And Starfleet doesn't operate in space."
"Oh, don't be such a downer, Soleta," Shelby said with a smile, "It'll work. Trust me on that. I think that after years hanging around Mac, I would be able to tell when something will work."
"Hmph," was Commander Soleta's only reply. The Romulan/Vulcan hybrid exchanged a look with Cerlen, who shrugged.
"So, what exactly are we going to do about the food for this? I was thinking that someone could cook authentic French food for this," Riker suggested, drawing a snort from Soleta.
"Good idea! Let's see who knows how to cook and wouldn't tell Picard about this little plot of ours," she remarked.
"I know someone!" Cerlen said, drawing a glare from Soleta.
"Who?" Riker asked.
"Only Keiko O'Brien of course. My God, I could even convince Sarina and Laren to help cook," Cerlen replied with a smile.
"Really? You could possibly convince Ro Laren to cook? I admire that skill," Shelby said.
"So, I think that's it for today. Keep planning and we'll get back together tomorrow," Deanna said. Soleta was the first to leave, all but sprinting for the door. Shelby and Cerlen left together, chatting about their families. That left Deanna and Will.
"So," Will said with a smirk, "Do you think we could get T'Pel to hold on to Natasha for a bit longer?"
"I don't think she would mind," Deanna replied, leading him off to their room.
! #$%^&*())(*&^%$# !
Jean-Luc Picard heard the cursing and went to investigate. The only thing he found was a visibly angry human woman arguing with a semi-calm Xenexian who looked rather chagrined.
"I only asked if you were feeling alright!" Mackenzie Calhoun defended himself against his angry wife.
"Are you trying to say that I'm dying or something!? I'm only pregnant, Mac!" Elizabeth Paula Shelby snapped.
"I never even implied that, Eppy!"
"Really? It seemed like you did!"
"Enough!" Picard yelled above both of them. They spun and stared at him.
"Are you quite done here?" he asked calmly.
"No!" Shelby snapped even as Mac said, "Yes."
She rounded on him and was about to say something when another person stepped in between them.
"Seriously?" Soleta snapped, "You have somehow managed to wake two of the four kids I am watching today. Any explanations?"
"I was yelling at Mac again," Shelby said, her mood taking a drastic turn.
"Okay," Soleta said, "Then you can go in and try to get Aliya and Kirayoshi to sleep again. It'll be good practice for when the twins come."
Shelby was about to say something, but the Vulcan/Romulan hybrid woman silenced her with a look. Shelby sighed and trudged after Soleta, who said nothing more as she led her away.
"Did this ever happen with you?" Mac asked bluntly.
"Yes, actually. Once. Just weather it. Although, this doesn't seem to be outside the norm for the two of you. If I recall, you once remarked that she usually had to be convinced not to kill you," Picard said wryly.
Calhoun laughed, "You know, you're right. She usually would take any excuse to kill me. Joys of married life, huh?"
"Absolutely," Picard replied nonchalantly.
! #$%^&*())(*&^%$# !
Will Riker turned when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Christine Vale gave him a look.
"You seem rather distracted today," she commented drily.
"I guess I am. Just thinking, I guess," he replied.
"That's a dangerous thing," Deanna warned from her seat by the captain's chair. Jaza Najem stifled a laugh from the science station and Tuvok gave them all a raised eyebrow.
"How so?" Ranul Keru asked, "I think all the time, and so far, we haven't all blown up."
"Commander Keru makes a most excellent point," Jaza chimed in from his station, still struggling to conceal his laughter.
"See?" Keru exclaimed, "He agrees with me!"
Deanna and Christine exchanged a look with each other.
"Men," Deanna sighed dramatically.
"What about us?" Riker demanded, a mock-injured expression on his face.
"Nothing!" Christine said sweetly.
Jaza snorted, but didn't reply. Keru smirked and turned away. Riker went back to conferring with Tuvok.
Christine sat in her seat and leaned over to Deanna.
"Why do I have the feeling that we're going to regret this later?" she asked.
Deanna smiled grimly, "If it makes you feel any better, I can almost feel them plotting already. Just try to keep them away from each other. Separate and conquer."
Christine burst out laughing, with Deanna snickering along with. The four men exchanged quizzical looks, but said nothing. Tuvok gave another raised eyebrow.
AN- So, this is a rather short starting chapter, but hey, it works right. My new updating policy will be to type a chapter for each story before updating. Let's see how long that actually works. Jolan'tru.