A/N: I've written Asher as bi in this fic. I like him and Bonnie as a couple, but his curiosity and interest in Connor does make one wonder….
Opposites distract
Oliver's news had been devastating, to both Connor and himself. Connor had done his very best to be supportive and attentive but to no avail. Oliver didn't want him anymore; there was no way he was putting Connor at risk. Connor was ambivalent about it, on the one hand, he wanted to stay with Oliver so bad, on the other, it was a slight relief. Although the risks involved could be managed, it was not entirely without risks either. They'd decided, or really Oliver had, to remain friends instead….
However…. one day, an odd month after they'd heard the test results, when Connor visited Oliver, taking his signature take-out with him, he saw Oliver's apartment filled with boxes. Empty and half-full: moving boxes…
"Oliver?" he asked tentatively. "What's going on?"
"I hadn't expected you yet…" Oliver's face fell. "I was going to tell you… I wouldn't have…" he defended himself.
"What?! Slipped away?" Connor yelled, unable to keep his cool. "Like… oh, I don't know… fucking everyone else in my life?!"
"I'm sorry. I was going to tell you today…" Oliver said. "Connor…" he pleaded both with his eyes and voice. "I can't do this anymore…. It's agony being so close to you and not…"
"Then why won't you let me!" he said angrily. "We could be together…. You don't need to be so stubborn…"
"Oh, yes, I do. I do." Oliver responded firmly. "I… I didn't want to hurt you so I wasn't going to tell you but it might help…"
"What?" Connor snapped. A sense of dread and betrayal creeping up on him…
"There's this guy… in one of my support groups…. He's… well, he's nerdy like me and…. I might try… I've been thinking about it…"
"So you've already found someone new…" Connor said deflated, the take-out bag slipping out of his hands, dropping onto the floor. Momentarily forgotten.
"No.. not really… I haven't initiated anything yet… I… It's just… He and I… well, we're both in the same boat, aren't we? It's… safer…" Oliver knew it was a lame argument, but it was a true one.
Connor shook his head. This wasn't good…. Well, it was and it wasn't… Wasn't he supposed to be with Oliver?
"Whatever you want man…" he grumbled, shrugging as if it none of it mattered.
"Thanks.." Oliver moved closer and briefly patted him on the shoulder before pulling Connor into a hug. Connor saw the tears welling up in Oliver's eyes. "I just want you to be safe…" he heard Oliver mumble. "I don't want to harm you… I'd never forgive myself…."
Connor swallowed hard and nodded, still holding on tight. He kissed Oliver's neck for the last time... "I know… I know… I do understand," he whispered.
As they let go, Connor knew this was the end. "I'll see you around then, yeah?" he said, trying to be cavalier about it.
"We should stay in touch…" Oliver agreed.
"Don't you disappear on me…" Connor warned. He was fine, or hopefully would be soon, with Oliver not being around so much, but disappearing altogether… That he couldn't take…
And so Connor went back to his old ways…. Not doing boyfriends…. There'd been a small glimmer of hope as Michaela and Aiden's relationship dwindled, but Aiden had soon found another perfect girlfriend in her stead. Connor had suspected as much…. Yet, it still hurt like hell…
Not doing boyfriends really was the best course to take…. He was all the more convinced of that now. Oliver had an new apartment, a new boyfriend too by the looks of it. Connor did know the address, although Oliver had been reluctant to tell him at first, apparently he had secretly longed for a clean break….
But Connor didn't have a key this time, of course…. Oliver had wanted a new beginning, a new place to live, building new memories. Erasing old ones? Connor privately wondered. They still stayed in touch, but mostly by texts or short chats when they ran into each other. It really was over… Connor could see that now.
It was time to let him go… Time to look for new horizons…
"I saw that guy… Oliver… Didn't you and him?" Asher asked, his eyebrows rising upwards, questioningly…
"Shut up…" Michaela hissed at him as Connor's scowl grew darker and more menacing than Asher had ever seen before.
"Touched a nerve… did I?" Asher grinned. So Mr. perfect had had his heart broken… If he even had one that was…
"Just thought you might want to know…. " he mumbled, making it worse… As usual.
"You're not telling me anything new here…." Connor smirked. "But we all know you're a little behind the rest of the world most of the time…."
Asher shrugged. He'd heard far worse coming from Connor's lips; he must have really rattled him…
But Asher being Asher, he decided to go on a fishing trip… He spotted the Oliver guy at a bar one day, and stepped in as soon as this other guy he was with took a call and went outside.
"You used to date Connor, right?" he asked right off the bat.
Oliver's eyes narrowed as he sized him up. "Who wants to know…?" he inquired.
"Just a friend from his class, study group…" Asher said confidently.
"I don't think so…"Oliver shook his head determinedly, even more intrigued, reminiscing: "I never met you and Connor did take me to meet his friends this one time…"
Asher gulped. They were always keeping him out of the loop!
"I was probably with some chick…" he recuperated quickly.
"I'm sure…" Oliver smirked, shaking his head ever so slightly.
"So?" He didn't give up so easily. "What happened? He cheat on you…?"
"I told him to leave…" It slipped out of his mouth, before he even realized.
"Why? What had he done this time?" Asher was mightily interested. Surely Connor must have done something! "Something bad, I bet…" He said with glistening eyes, waiting for the gossip. The tantalizing tale…
"Nothing…" Oliver looked at him sternly. "He'd done nothing and it's none of your business anyway…. Goodbye…" He dismissed him. Asher looked into his angry eyes and decided to call it a day.
"See you around," he said cheerfully.
"I certainly hope not!" Oliver snorted.
Oliver had asked Connor to join him for lunch. It had amazed Connor a little as they didn't really hang out anymore. Slightly nervous he entered the diner.
A few days before he'd received the results of the second test, fortunately with the same result. He wondered if that was what Oliver wanted to discuss. What if he had had the same results as Oliver the second time around? Would Oliver be sorry that he hadn't waited for him?
"So, I just thought you should know…" Oliver finished the story of his encounter with the stranger. Connor had soon realized who he'd been talking about….
"Fucking Asher…" Connor grumbled as he rolled his eyes. "He is unbelievable sometimes…"
Oliver peered at him. "You don't get it, do you?" he asked. "I thought perhaps he was some weird stalker, and he might very well be…. But… Well, obviously…."
Connor raised his eyebrows. "Obviously what?" he said.
"He's got a thing for you…" Oliver laughed. "Surely you must have noticed?"
"Asher?!" Connor laughed out loud in derision. "You've got it wrong, man! Asher? No way…"
"No? I shouldn't be too sure about it…" Oliver warned. "Why else would he be so interested?"
"Why? Because he's a prick…. Annoying, hopelessly curious and rude…. He just can't stand being left out… Wants to know everything about everyone…"
"So… he comes up to everyone else's exes as well? Asking them about their love lives?" Oliver asked innocently.
"How would I know?" Connor reacted irritated. "I couldn't possibly know what goes on in that weird mind of his…"
"Well, if you want my opinion…"
"Not particularly, no…"
"He's far too eager to prove his straightness…. Overeager…. Over compensating probably…"
Connor shook his head. "You're so wrong… I promise you… He's just being nosy and horribly irritating…"
"I'd bet on it…" Oliver asserted confidently. "That's how sure I am…"
Connor looked at him. "Really?" he replied. "If you're right then… well, I'm screwed…"
"How so?" Oliver laughed.
"He keeps on making these remarks and you know… I retaliate…" He buried his face in his hands and moaned.
"What?" Oliver prodded, poking his side when Connor didn't respond.
Connor looked up. "If he thinks that is flirting…" he whispered nervously.
"You are so screwed…" Oliver smirked back. His laugh echoed throughout the diner.
They'd talked for a bit longer. Oliver congratulated him on his news and Connor felt strangely relieved. Perhaps he didn't have to feel guilty for abandoning him… Not that he had, not technically… but Connor had often wondered if Oliver had wanted him to hold on longer, to not let him slip away….
Oliver seemed quite happy, or at least content, with his new lover, Jamie. He wanted Connor to move on too. Be happy and carefree.
Connor had left the diner feeling lighter than he had felt in a long time. Perhaps there would be someone else for him somewhere along the line…. However, never in a million years would that person be Asher!
Asher's dick jokes and references drove Connor mad. Ever since Oliver had mentioned his run-in with Asher, Connor had wondered about what Oliver had said. It couldn't possibly be true!
And yet…. He did seem to have something hidden underneath that huge humongous ego of his… Was it all a mask? A way to deflect questions? Connor was intrigued at the very least… Even though he most certainly did not want to be… It was frustrating as hell! Damn Oliver for putting ideas into his mind!
Fortunately, Asher seemed totally into Bonnie at the moment, so Oliver could have been wrong after all… Connor was rather pleased about it as it would hopefully help him stop thinking about Asher in that way.
Bonnie and Asher didn't last long however, she'd had quite enough of the misery that working for Annalise brought with it. After Rebecca's death, she was done. Soon she'd found a job somewhere else, leaving Asher slightly befuddled behind. He'd never assumed it was going to last forever… but this was way shorter than he had initially planned….
With Bonnie out of the picture, Asher's interest in Connor returned. Not that it had ever been truly gone…
Asher had been really surprised when he discovered Connor was gay. He hadn't had a clue before! Asher's perception of a gay man turned out to be rather limited. Interacting with Connor made Asher wonder… It had soon spurred a realization that hit even closer to home.
He had been interested in men before, but had always denied that to himself, and most certainly to others. It's not as if he was gay, right? He'd had plenty of women… and he liked women… Hell, he'd just been with Bonnie!
However, the stirrings in his heart and elsewhere wouldn't go away so easily… His curiosity which had started in high school—a certain bulky and muscled football player had done the trick—had lasted until this very day. Every once in a while, a man would cross his path that made him wonder… and long for something else…
"I'd thought you'd have set your eyes on someone new already…" Connor teased Asher. "Bonnie has been gone, what? Nearly two weeks now…"
The group was huddled together outside the courthouse waiting for Annalise to arrive.
Asher groaned, rubbing his hands together against the cold. "Why are you doubting my ability to get laid…?"
"I'm not," Connor smirked mischievously. "Your taste, however…. Well, I could say a thing or two about that…"
"My taste is perfectly fine…" Asher replied. "It's ….. exquisite.. even…" A grin crossed his face. Surely Connor would be flattered that he himself was his latest crush?
"Learned a new word today, did you?" Michaela sneered. Her break-up with Aiden and everything else was taking its toll. Not to mention the freezing cold.
Asher scowled at her. He was just a smart as the rest of them, otherwise he wouldn't be here, now would he?
"I suppose it has to be a totally different type than Bonnie; it being the rebound and all…" Connor ventured, glinting at Asher out of the corner of his eyes.
Asher blushed—had Connor just read his mind?—and began to cough, hiding his embarrassment. "Man… It is freezing…" he complained.
"Someone trashy….then.." Michaela piped up. "If it has to be a Bonnie counterpart, that is…"
"Oh yeah, let's all discuss Asher's love life…" Asher said, faking enthusiasm, rolling his eyes simultaneously.
"You never seem to tire talking about it, usually…" Laurel said, "why so reluctant now?"
Annalise's arrival spared Asher the need to answer that particular question…
Someone different than Bonnie, he thought… Connor sure fitted that description, although the two had some things in common too. Being difficult to read… difficult to catch as well…. People who demanded that you step up your game, big time…
Connor was slowly starting to see Asher with different eyes. Despite his callous rudeness, he was really a softie at heart. And he was becoming something of a friend….
Oliver's remarks had altered Connor's perception. What had seemed like intrusion and nosiness, could also be interpreted otherwise. Asher knew what Connor's car looked like…. Often sat beside him, was interested in his love life…. All these irritating things which Connor had (wrongfully?) assumed were just some former frat boy's idea of bugging the gay guy. Shameless curiosity about the 'other' that needed to be instantly satisfied. He had seen it all before, so many times…
Connor would play that game along for a bit, and then turn it on its head: make them feel embarrassed for asking their intrusive questions.
Perhaps Asher did not fall into this category… Perhaps he was genuinely interested, though clearly still being a dick about it, on occasion… Maybe he simply couldn't help himself… Connor grinned. Asher apparently couldn't be anything other than in your face…
One night, after a particular gruesome case, Connor decided to have some fun. He was going to do some prodding, make Asher uncomfortable. Michaela had left for the night, whereas Laurel was trying to cheer Wes up, in a dark, nearly unlit, corner of the bar. Wes blamed himself for thinking the worst of Rebecca and acting on it too…
Laurel pitied him, but Connor wondered whether Wes was upset about her death or about his own role in it. The bond of trust between the four of them—it had always been fragile; they had been bound by distrust and fear more than genuine friendship—was slowly reaching another low. As they didn't know who was responsible for Rebecca's murder, they would often eye each other wearily.
Asher was the only one left out of the loop. Connor was jealous of his easy life. Sure Rebecca's death was a bit mysterious to him, but otherwise he didn't have a care in the world….
He deserved a little problem of his own. Conner eyed him up not saying anything. Asher soon noticed. "What?" he mouthed, gesturing angrily. "What?"
"Do you always stalk people's exes..?" he asked, leaning forward over the table that separated them. "Some kind of fetish of yours?" Connor held unto Asher's gaze.
Asher moved uncomfortably in his seat. "No…" he finally relented. "Not usually, no…. I was just bored… You all seemed to really cut me out of a lot of the action…"
Connor didn't respond to the accusation, but pushed on. "So you thought… What did you think exactly…?" He contemplated adding: "Or do you even know how to…." But bit his lip instead.
Asher sighed. "I don't know… I was bored… And I wondered…. Well, you and he hit it off apparently, to see it end so suddenly seemed strange…"
"What's it to you…?" Connor said roughly. "It's none of your business…"
"That's what he said…" Asher smiled. "Told me to get lost basically…"
Connor grinned. Asher's next remark made it fade away though…
"He told you to leave…" Asher rose his eyebrows. "So you must have done something… The guy wouldn't admit to it… but it was obviously your fault…"
"It wasn't!" Connor snapped. "I hadn't done anything…"
"Right…" Asher's eyes rolled dramatically… "sure, you're a saint, we all know that…."
Connor sighed. This wasn't really going according to plan. He gulped a few sips of his drink, hoping to leave as soon as he finished it.
"So… tell me the tale…" Asher egged him on. "What happened…? He wouldn't say…"
Seeing Asher pout like that lightened his mood.
"Well," he began, whispering conspiratorially, gesturing him to move in closer, "it's a very big secret…" Connor paused for dramatic effect. "I could tell you… but then…."
"Ha ha ha," Asher was not amused. "You'd have to kill me…"
Connor smirked. Asher could be so naïve sometimes.
But Asher didn't smile back. "I know there is something…" he said. "Bonnie told me a little about it…"
Connor's face fell. What the hell? How much did Bonnie know? What was she thinking, letting Asher in on it? His heart pounded in his chest as Asher was the one staring him down.
"What did she say?" he replied coolly. "She was probably just showing off…"
"That you're all sociopaths… not to be trusted. Would go to any lengths to get a result…"
"Anyone could say the same about her," Connor shrugged. "She's got the warmth of an ice-stick…. Don't know what you saw…"
"I'd do well not to associate too much with you lot, she said…" Asher sighed. "But then she left me herself…"
"Not listening to mummy then…?" Connor teased, glad to be out of the woods.
The other man looked deflated. "I know something's up…" he remarked. "I know you all don't want me around… Your ex… Well, he said as much…" Asher finished his beer in one gulp. "I better be off… Early start tomorrow…"
"What did he say?" Connor asked. A tinge of guilt rising inside him. Asher looked like a lost puppy…
"He met Connor's friends and I wasn't there… Therefore, I must be lying…"
"You probably had something else on that night…" Connor said offhandedly.
"I probably didn't…" Asher replied a little harshly, leaving Connor to ponder on his own.
Connor hoped Asher would be in a better mood the next day. Not that he particularly cared, or so he told himself. He had plenty to feel guilty about without worrying about hurting Asher's feelings.
Still, Connor couldn't help himself to be a little nicer to the big guy the following day. He joked around and made sure he wasn't too insulting. Asher seemingly didn't notice, however, as they were the last to leave Annalise's house that night, Asher said: "You were in a good mood today… Did you score someone last night or something?"
Connor smiled. "I don't kiss and tell, remember…."
Asher grinned back. "More's the pity…" he replied.
"It's highly fascinating to you, isn't it?" Connor asked back. "How so?"
Asher blushed and looked away, flustered for a moment. Then he shrugged: "just curious, I guess…"
"Simply to know or to rather to experience?" Connor stated boldly.
He rose his eyebrows: "What? You're offering?" Asher laughed, already knowing the answer.
"Why not?" Connor bluffed. "Something different for a change?" His eyes lit up mischievously. How far could he get Asher to go along?
"I know you're not serious…" Asher said, staring at the slimmer, mysterious man before him, standing next to both of their cars. "I'm hardly your type…" The word 'meatloaf' wasn't so easily forgotten.
"Not sure I have a type…" Connor pushed callously. "What was it you said? If Asher junior is interested…."
"You better not be kidding me…" Asher threatened. "You're serious?" He couldn't believe his ears…
"Only if you are…" Connor teased. "Don't tell me you've never wondered what it would be like…"
Asher swallowed hard, before he answered in a soft whisper. "I have…. often… wondered…"
"But never…. Not even as a dare?" Asher shook his head. He had wanted to… but had been too afraid of what would happen. What if it changed him forever? Turned him gay? That would be horrifying… wouldn't it?
"Perhaps tonight is your lucky night then…" Connor whispered back. He pushed the bigger man's frame firmly against his car as his mouth reached for Asher's.
Asher was overwhelmed by it. This couldn't be truly happening…. It was so different and yet the same… Who'd have known Connor was so strong? Or so soft?
From a window, on the second floor, Annalise watched the two men make out in her drive-way. She smiled as she gently closed the curtain. At least someone was enjoying themselves tonight…
After their long kiss, Connor looked at him. Asher had a goofy smile on his face and didn't quite meet his eyes…
"Ready for more?" Connor whispered, challenging him. "Or do you want to back out?"
Asher didn't immediately respond. "I don't know," he finally replied. "It's all so… confusing…"
"Carpe Diem, I'd say…" Connor's eyes glistened.
"You would…" Asher acknowledged. "I wondered if… Could I take a raincheck or is this like a one-time only kind of offer…?"
Connor looked at him. Asher wasn't his usual type, for sure, yet that could be strangely appealing as well. "Sure," he heard himself reply, "why not? Could be interesting…" He flashed his wide toothy grin at Asher, who was still looking highly flustered.
"Okay, good. See you tomorrow…" Asher ducked into his own car and sped away.
Connor looked at him go, shaking his head. It looked as if Oliver had been right after all…
Tomorrow could be highly interesting, he thought.
Asher didn't sit next to him in court that day, yet he kept glancing at him throughout the morning. Connor would either smirk or make some remark and Asher would blush, resembling a red traffic light. He had turned shy overnight.
"What is going on with you two?" Michaela whispered annoyed. Connor whispered the answer in her ear.
"What do you mean….?" she replied puzzled. "He's bitten of more than he can chew…?"
"You figure it out… Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?" he retorted.
Michaela shook her head. Men….
"You're silent today…" Laurel remarked, looking at Asher during a break. "You sick or something?"
"Maybe a little…" Asher replied. Lovesick, his mind told him; snickering at him. Shut up, Asher thought, don't think that….
"It sure makes for a change…" Wes peered at him. "Not saying it's a bad one…"
The group laughed at him as Asher laughed on the wrong side of his mouth. "Not funny, guys, not funny…" he said.
During the afternoon, Asher slowly got his confidence back, and with his confidence his mouth. Connor was relieved. Asher had been behaving far too suspicious….
And in the evening, Asher left before him, not letting on. Not anymore anyway. Driving back home, Connor couldn't tell if he was happy or disappointed. After all, it had started as no more than a joke….
"Connor…?" A few days later, Asher ambushed him as he came out of the bathroom. "Perhaps we could we talk? Just the two of us….?"
"You're freaking me out man… There's nothing to talk about, is there?" Connor looked at him angrily. "Your curiosity has been satisfied, right?" He sounded more hostile than he intended.
Asher pouted and shuffled his feet. "Not really…" he reluctantly admitted. "I've been thinking… well, more like wondering…"
"Just spill it out, will you?" Connor said, a little irritated.
"Well, I'm still…. Interested," he said. "Not sure about you though…"
Connor huffed. "Pretty good at mixed signals yourself…"
Asher laughed slyly. "So we're on for tonight then?" he asked, his eyes a little lighter.
"Already got something planned…" Connor said, "but tomorrow sounds good…"
"My place?" Asher said. Perhaps he'd feel more comfortable in his own surroundings…. On the other hand, perhaps not.
"Fine with me…"
Asher didn't know what time Connor would arrive. They'd left Annalise's separately: both unable to hang out with the group.
He'd given him the address and now he was freaking out a little. Why ever had he agreed to let him come so close? Visit his place?
Asher knew the answer and he didn't like it one bit. He was rapidly falling in love, even though hardly anything had happened yet. His teenage dreams of being with a guy would possibly be coming true tonight… As long as it wouldn't become a nightmare, that was…
He shouldn't be doing this… What would his family say? His friends think? Fortunately no-one knew anything about it…. So far…
A soft knock on the door got him out of his meanderings.
"Wasn't sure you'd open the door…" Connor came in.
"I wasn't either…" Asher admitted, closing it behind him. "This is sure a mind fuck for me…"
"Thought as much…" he replied. "Bet your heart is racing?"
"A bit yeah…" Asher looked away. He felt far too vulnerable for this and doubt crept back into his mind. Why was Connor suddenly interested in him? He usually had some sort of goal for being with someone, didn't he?
"Not so eager anymore?" Connor narrowed his eyes seeing the hesitancy in Asher's. He had just driven all the way up here…
"Just nervous…"
"And junior?" Connor grinned. Asher smiled a shy smile.
"Why don't you tell me about the first time…" Connor began.
"With a girl you mean..?" Asher asked puzzled.
Connor's grin grew crooked: "the first time you saw a guy and thought…"
"Oh…" Asher caught on. "Well, I must have been about fifteen, sixteen or so, and this quarter back… you know.."
"Go on…"
"He was in my class and so we had P.E. together… and at some point, I just realized that I…"
"Don't stop… I'm dying to hear it…"
"Was… you know… staring at him and imagining… what it would be like if…"
"All the suspense…" Connor said impatiently, "shall I finish the story?" He moved towards Asher and pushed him on the couch, pinning him down.
"You wondered what it would be like…" Connor said, "if he kissed you… or better yet, slowly touched your skin…" Asher gasped for breath as Connor slowly opened the buttons of his shirt, letting his hand travel over his torso. "What it would be like… " Connor now whispered, unzipping the fly, "if he touched your…"
Asher groaned and closed his eyes as Connor continued to rub him. The release was sudden and powerful. "Wow," he finally let out, "that was something else…"
"That was just the beginning," Connor teased, smiling at him. Asher's eyes grew big as he thought of the other things that just might happen….
"So you never acted on any of it?" Connor was surprised to hear Asher repeat what he'd claimed before.
Asher hardly seemed to be a shy guy, and knew how to play the ladies. Perhaps he wasn't always successful but that sure didn't dampen his enthusiasm.
"Nope…" They were sitting on his couch, drinking a beer. Connor had promised him more in a few moments, but now they were just hanging out.
"Too insecure?" He suggested. "Not that there's any need for that…"
"Suppose so… Too worried about… others.. Too embarrassed about even thinking about it…"
Connor nodded sympathetically. "So just girls…"
"Yeah… which has been… you know, fine so far…"
"Except for the nagging interest in the back of your mind…"
"There's that, yeah…" He fell silent for a second, then said: "and you?"
"Never girls… but you've probably guessed that already…" Connor replied.
"So when did you…. Figure it out?"
"A bit younger… twelvish… Girls just… well, they were fun to talk to… but boys… well..."
"A whole other ball game…" Asher filled in.
Connor nodded. "Absolutely… So I guess all boys' school was kinda good after that…" he grinned.
"And your parents?" Asher asked hesitantly.
"Couldn't care less… Guess that makes me lucky…" He raised his eyebrows. "You?"
"They'd have a heart-attack… or worse…" Asher's brow darkened. Perhaps this hadn't been such a good subject…
"That's my cue…" Connor said, explaining: "it'll be worth it… Come on, get up…"
Asher trembled as he let Connor take the lead, gulping as he saw his junior. The idea of that… "Don't sweat it…" Connor mumbled into his ears, and Asher chose to trust him. Soon he forgot his fears as the excitement took over…
Asher lay awake that night. Connor snoring beside him. He had wanted to leave, but Asher had insisted. Reluctantly he had finally agreed. He'd been rather stern about Asher not reading too much into it though…
He didn't. Well, he didn't want to… He'd known Connor for quite a while now, and knew that he didn't do boyfriends…. However, there had been Oliver…
Asher made no presumptions. Connor would never see him as… boyfriend material. And Asher wasn't even sure if he would ever be ready for that. A girlfriend he might take home someday…
His father had fallen of his pedestal ever since Asher had found out about his role in the David Allen case. It had been a huge shock at the time, but also a kind of release from expectations. Perhaps the standards weren't as high as all that. His father had not been perfect, after all…
Therefore, he didn't need to be perfect either… And so, perhaps he could be with a guy. Whether or not in the open wasn't even the point yet…
Connor had been so different than he had expected. Aggressive and dominant, yes, but also supportive and kind. So unlike how he had known him thus far. Perhaps he understood what it was like for him. How scared he still was…. How new all of this still was.
Grateful for a wonderful and experimental evening, Asher finally fell asleep as well… He soon snored louder than the other man.
In the morning, he woke up to find Connor gone. He'd left a note, stating "see you in court," followed by a smiley face. Asher laughed at the message, although he was slightly disappointed that he wasn't there.
The following days Connor wasn't really available, and Asher began to feel ignored. Had it just been a one-time thing after all? Just as he was longing for more…
Asher tried to summon up enough courage to ask, catching him after class. "So…. Eh.. that was it?" he said, a little hurt.
"I thought we'd agreed on that…" Connor asked surprised. "You wanted a raincheck, we met…"
"Yeah, but…" Asher began.
"You want more…" Connor bit his lip. "Doesn't have to be me though…" he said nonchalantly. "I'm not looking for…"
"I know I'm not your type…" Asher started again, "and I absolutely hate to beg… "
"Yet you are…" Connor was a little flattered.
"I… I…" He hated that he was turning red again. "You're… well, great… and I would like to see you again…" he ended lamely.
"Asher… look…" This was not supposed to happen, Connor thought irritated, why couldn't he simply get the message…?
"You're hard to please, aren't you?" Asher said, catching on, as his face fell.
"Don't you forget it," Connor smirked and walked away.
Asher didn't know if he should hate Connor or try harder. It hurt like hell that he didn't even want to meet him for a second time…
He wondered if Connor had just been toying with him, his feelings, his confusion… One day, he decides to become Sex god and make him jealous, work out and have the look of a model and then reject him, the next, he just gives up and is angry at his own stupidity in feeling too much-much too soon…
But Connor's rejection did change things for him. He begins to see both men and women. He learns new things and slowly his sole focus on Connor shifts away. Asher feels more comfortable around him again. Can look at him without feeling embarrassed or hurt or even horny.
Connor sees his confidence grow. Notices how Asher doesn't blush around him anymore. Doesn't blink an eye when he makes acid remarks.
And so he isn't surprised when he sees Asher making out with a man in a bar one day… The rest of the group are pretty shocked. "Asher?! Asher?" Laurel cannot believe her eyes, and Michaela wonders in frustration if there are any straight people left on the planet…
Connor grins at the sight… Good for him, he thinks. The little pang inside comes totally unexpected and yet it is there… Taking him completely by surprise..
"So even your parents know?" Michaela says, when she chats with him the following morning, before the hearing begins. "What was that like?"
Connor pricks up his ears: this could be interesting.
"Not too bad. They were far too baffled to become angry… It wasn't until I came back here that I found loads of voicemails and messages…"
"And?" Michaela inquires.
Asher swallows. "Not so good. I'm not their son anymore and so forth… They'll come 'round… " he says confidently when he sees her worried face. "They usually do. It's not the first time I've shocked them. I crashed my dad's car at 15… so, they'll get used to it…" He wasn't as sure as he tried to sound, but he didn't want to be pitied either.
"I hope they will," she agrees. "You deserve to be you at any rate…"
"I know…" Asher grins as he winks at Connor. Connor blushes, clearly he'd been spotted listening in.
"Hey man… I'm proud of you…" Connor says after the hearing, a few hours later. "Didn't think you had it in you, to be honest…"
"I figured as much…" Asher replied. "No one ever seems to think highly of me…" he mocked, pretending to be sad.
"So… ehm, I was thinking…" Connor began. "Remember that you wanted to…"
"To what?" Asher asked innocently. "You'll have to give me more clues, as I am rather thick…"
Connor grinned. "Don't you want to show off..? Display your skills?" He quirked an eyebrow. "Don't tell me it isn't tempting…?"
Asher nodded indifferently. "I'd have to think about it… but who knows?" He shrugged.
Not long thereafter, they hooked up again. And again. And again. Asher had learned a thing or two and wasn't so pliable anymore, as Connor soon discovered. And Asher junior had a mind of his own…
It would take Connor quite a while to acknowledge Asher was his boyfriend. Some days, he still couldn't believe it…
Asher could. The meatloaf had conquered!