People have said, and probably will always say, that I am insufferable. Above all, Narcissa says this often. She complains that I'm temperamental, materialistic, distant, hard to please, judgmental, suspicious, jealous, and vain. She is my wife, so I suppose she does have grounds to say she knows me well enough to pass that judgment. However, she puts up with me. Someone else does too. However, there is one large difference between the two of them. Narcissa stands me because she has the choice between doing so or else disgracing herself and calling for a divorce out of one of the most powerful families in the wizarding world with little to no real reason. The other, however, puts up with me because he wants to.
I don't know why he wants me. When things started between us, I knew very well why. He had every reason to want me. We were sixteen; I was well in my prime while he was still on the border of it. I was the center of power in our House at Hogwarts, Slytherin. I wanted him because he was the only one who did not humble himself before me. We were both, though he seems cold to those that he does not like, passionate boys, and passionate men later on. This led to quarrels, to verbal abuse that stung worse than any spell or blow we could have lashed with. Yet no matter who had started the conflict and why, we found ourselves together again.
Through the years, we've had our differences. Those especially became apparent when we made the final decision in our younger years about whose side we would support in the war that came to pass. I backed the Dark Lord Voldemort, and Severus's loyalty fell to the Headmaster of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, Albus Dumbledore. That caused a good deal of strife between Severus and I, as one can imagine. However, even that did not keep up from one another's beds. However, after the Dark Lord fell, things became tense between us. We stayed together until he rose again, and then came what seemed to be our final separation. However, fate intervened, and we were brought together again—this time on the same side.
"You'll have to forgive me for being late," Albus Dumbledore said jovially as he walked into the kitchen, "but I had to pick up a new member who just recently agreed to join us."
He was addressing the "Order of the Phoenix," a group of ragtag fighters who were against Voldemort's rise to power. They were efficient, though. Lord Voldemort had not gained much ground since he began his second war. They were all easily identifiable. The redheads were the Weasley family, all present including the sixteen-year-old girl who was their youngest. Then there was Remus Lupin, a second cousin of mine whom I had never liked. Harry Potter, whom I need not say much about, and Hermione Granger, a mudblood, sat close to one another, the girl taking notes on what was being said. Then there was Alastor Moody, an ex-Auror for the Ministry of Magic. There were also a few other Ministry workers.
"Oh?" commented one of the Weasley's, a dragon-claw earring hanging from his left ear and his red hair pulled into a ponytail.
"You didn't mention any new members," a voice came from a slightly darkened part of the table.
I don't know why I felt my heart speed up a bit at hearing that cool tone of voice. I'd heard it countless times before, and I had known he'd be here. Yet I couldn't help but look at the male that sat there, gazing at Dumbledore curiously, not having taken notice of myself or the one who stood beside me. His raven hair was slicked back slightly, and his ebony eyes watched Dumbledore without expression. His mouth was pulled into a thin line, and his profile gave an almost intimidating look. Many would have backed away from this one, but I knew him all too well, and so did Dumbledore.
"Yes, well, he took me rather off guard with his offer to join us, but I do believe he's quite sincere," Dumbledore said lightly. His tone was as breezy as if he were talking about the weather instead of introducing someone who could very well bring the ruin of the Order.
"Enough talk," Moody barked. "Let's see who it is."
"Ah, of course," Dumbledore said, seeming to have just remembered my son and I. He beckoned us into the kitchen, and into the light. After pulling back the hoods on our traveling cloaks, my son and I stepped into the room. There were, needless to say, rather surprised looks all around.
"Malfoy," Moody snarled as he looked at me. He reached for his wand, but someone cleared their throat and stopped his action with a simple cold look. It was not, however, Severus. No, it was someone I would not have expected to at all prevent me from being attacked.
"I find it strange," the one who had stopped Moody commented calmly as he rose to his feet, "that you of all people would sincerely join us, Lucius." Navy eyes bore into my gray ones. Remus Lupin was no fool. He knew well enough that I hated nearly everyone infront of me. What he did not yet know, though, was that I had more important things to do than keep away because I hated the members of this little Order of Dumbledore's.
Coolly, I looked right at Lupin, replying, "The Dark Lord gave me a simple command. He told me that I was to hand over my son to be put into the ranks of his Death eaters. Or else he would kill Draco and myself." I could feel the eyes of everyone present on me, but I kept my eyes focused on the werewolf's. "I could neither allow my son to die nor allow him to be sent on suicide missions, so I went to the one I knew he would be safest with."
"Albus Dumbledore," Lupin finished for me.
"Remus! This is absurd!" For a moment, I was confused as to who had spoken. After all, the voice had sounded young, but what youth here would call Lupin by his first name? However, I got my answer quickly enough. Green eyes were now focused intently on the navy ones that had adverted from me to look at the speaker. Seventeen-year-old Harry Potter was watching his former professor, seeming completely stunned that he seemed to believe me.
"A Malfoy never breaks his word, Harry," Lupin murmured calmly, throwing the boy a look that I knew meant more than 'Listen to me.' There was some kind of a reminder in that gaze. I didn't ponder what might be between those two, though. It didn't matter to me. A moment later, Lupin's attention was back on me.
"So, Lucius?" Severus's voice was now the one that spoke out. "Do we have your word and your son's word as well?"
"Draco and I have given our word to Dumbledore already," I remarked calmly, now staring right at those dark eyes, "and now I give it to you."
"So do I," my son managed, seeming to hate saying the words. Yet he knew that this was for his safety even more than mine, and he didn't argue. He instead just fell silent once again.
"Good enough for me," Lupin said calmly, and Severus gave a slow nod. None of the others really reacted, instead glaring at me slightly. However, Dumbledore had already welcomed me in, so they had nothing that they could do about what he had decided upon hours ago.
We were dismissed about half an hour later, and Draco was shown to a room separate from mine. Really, they were both fairly nice, though I suppose it wasn't surprising seeing as how the Black family had about as much money as the Malfoy family did, and we were now staying presently at the old Black house.
I had about an hour to settle into my room, the one right beside Lupin's, actually, before a slight knock came from the other side of my door.
"It's open," I called calmly.
When the door opened, and then shut once he was in the room, Severus Snape walked in. He looked me over slowly, as though expecting to see me with a dagger in hand and the corpse of some Order member or another at my feet. However, I met his eyes, and he stared into them, trying to decide what he thought of me and my reasons for joining this team.
"I'm surprised," he finally remarked. I watched him carefully as he walked forward, looking at me in much the same fashion. He then commented, "You always struck me as selfish. Though I suppose I understand you coming here for the sake of your bloodline." I half wanted to tell him other reasons I was here, but I didn't dare. He would not want me again. No...
"Draco is all I have, it seems," I instead said. He looked at me for a second, as though half grasping what I had just said but not wanting to quite admit that he understood me.
I raised my head slightly as I heard slight sounds coming from the werewolf's room. They were faint, indeed, but I picked up some of them, and Severus seemed to as well. Soft groans, mutterings we couldn't quite hear, noise slightly against the wall and then moving away until the slightest creak of a bed with new weight applied was heard. I saw Severus give a half snort when I looked at him for an explanation as to who was with Remus.
"Potter," he said coolly. "The two of them have been sleeping together since the Christmas after Black died." It made sense then why Remus had declined Dumbledore's offer to teach at Hogwarts again. He knew the boundaries of what a teacher could and couldn't do in regards to students, and he knew the boundaries of what temptations he could and couldn't resist.
Faintly, I was reminded of the nights Severus and I used to share. Whether they were in some broom closet, our dormitory, the Slytherin Common Room, or one of our manors, we managed to shag one another without being caught. Ah, if we were but seventeen again...
But we were not, and we never could be.
"Severus," I murmured, but I silenced when he looked at me again. I was still a Malfoy, and Malfoy men never apologized for anything, even when they knew that they were in the wrong.
However, Malfoy men did make the first move when they felt it right. So that was just what I did. I sauntered slowly over to Severus, watching him as those careful eyes watched me. He wasn't sure what I was up to, and I didn't blame him for being wary. Suddenly, my hand caught under his chin, and I pushed it up, soon letting my head drop a bit to find his lips with my own.
He was unresponsive for a few moments, but –just as I began to pull away— he returned the kiss. My chest tightened a little at that, though I couldn't place why. After all, why had I been nervous that he might not accept my advance? However, he pulled away a moment later, and I could almost feel him wanting to glare at me. Yet he didn't, not fully at least.
"I'm not letting you get too close," he said calmly, evenly, "until you can prove that you won't stab me in the back. A Malfoy has never broken his word yet, but I'm not going to take a large risk at first. However, once you prove that you won't turn on us all, I will be more than happy to have you again."
In a way, I knew that he wanted me, and it wasn't just my ego talking. No... he had agreed to take me back once I was around long enough to prove that I wasn't going to betray him. I watched silently as Severus left my room, and I sat down on my bed, still able to hear the faint sounds of Lupin and Potter enjoying on another. With any luck, they'd soon be listening to Severus and I engaged in what they presently were.
A Malfoy never breaks their word, and I wasn't about to start.