Updates:

July 19, 2004 - Took it down to change some things that I didn't think went well with the story... And to add a disclaimer to protect my lucky almost-sued butt. Hopefully this will be the last time I update, because it's getting annoying to do use the formatting tools here 'coz my laptop doesn't have MS word yet. Argh.

Hey everyone, it's me again! (Ducks moose limbs thrown at him)

Sorry if I haven't updated in a while... Just moved to LA; long story. So anyways... I have no idea what this ficcie here is- I made it up in the midst of a day of complete loneliness and cynicism.

I apologize if Dib is really OOC here, but honestly I didn't intend for the first paragraph (which I made a long time ago in a mall, to expand into an entire one-shot fic... Hope y'all like it.

Disclaimer: IZ belongs the Jhonen Vasquez. This story belongs to me and my mongoose. He's a cutie... Yes, he is...

I'm Just Crazy

The air is thick (but I breathe it all in).
Hopefully depressing music resonates in the background (the soundtrack of my life).
These are the kinds of (rainy) nights you see in the movies.
And I don't mind (getting wet).
Red neon reflects off the puddles (like electric blood).
This is like a waking dream (except my dreams at night are more eventful).
(I can't help notice) everyone walks in twos and threes.
And here, I wait.

How long has it been now?
(So long that) I can't tell the tears (on my face) from the raindrops.
Maybe she could. Maybe she would wipe them off.

(Or maybe) she's right.
I'm just crazy.
(Shit. I don't want that.)

Nobody was meant to celebrate their second month-sary alone. (Doesn't that defeat the purpose?)
But every second I spend in this miserable mall does nothing but beg the question(s):
Why am I still here?
(and... Why is companionship so important to me?)
Whatever may be the case, one thing is certain.
This longing can't be healthy.

Wait.
Someone's coming. (Could it be...)
My lavender-haired angel. (Two hours late, but she's forgiven for that)

She's coming closer. What do I do?
Walk up and offer her my trench coat? (She's got an umbrella already, stupid)
Act like I don't see her? (Would that be the "cool" thing to do?)
Shit.

Why do I feel that I owe her something?
(That I owe everyone something?)
I'm just gonna lean right against this lamp post (where I've been waiting).
Less confusing that way. (And besides, I want her to know how neglected I feel right now)

I've gotta be cold. Cold and mysterious. (I must be disciplined)

"DIB!"

I look up at my beloved, smile, and my eyes light up (like a little kid's).
I run towards her with absolute total abandon and stop climactically under her (pink) umbrella.

So much for cold and mysterious. (I am the personification of clinginess)

"I'm so glad you made it." I don't lose the smile. "Just like I promised, I got those tickets for Dead Rising IV: Forever Dusk! C'mon, the last show starts in fifteen, and I really don't wanna miss the---"

I'm cut short when I try to pull her hand (and she shakes off my grip).
I look back at her (dazed and perplexed).
A (simple) boy like me doesn't know what this means.

"I'm sorry... I didn't come here to watch a movie."

Shock.

"I thought maybe we could go shoppin' instead, ya know? Sorry, Dibby, but I was just out with my girlfriends, an' I kinda spent my allowance on my nails... Wanna see?"

Double shock. But I don't react yet. (I wanna see how far she'll take it)

I raise my eyes to give her the (second's worth of) satisfaction she wants. Satisfaction for having her (so-called) boyfriend admire the latest waste of her money. (But as I said, just for a second)

"But you've got those tickets, right? If we hurry, I betcha we can still refund 'em before the shops close!"

She looks so happy. And for a fleeting moment I'm tempted to go along with her game, to believe that her happiness is mine too. (But I'm too damn smart for this shit. And I've put up with it for far too long)

"Nah... It wasn't easy to get these tickets, y'know."

She's taken aback. Is this the assertiveness I need (to show her) for her to take me seriously? Are we, against all odds, gonna live happily ever after, have three kids, hang the stuffed remains of Zim's dissected Irken head over the fireplace and sing X-mas songs (under the protective dome) every year?

"Um... EXCUUUUUSE ME?"

I guess not.

"Zita, I just wanna watch my movie."

A sudden silence.

The open-roofed courtyard we are standing in the midst of is touched by a slight chill. Across the plaza's wide floor, behind my girlfriend, a light from a queer-looking health store turns off. And as if on cue, a half dozen others from either side of us follow suit. It must be ten o' clock already. (So I was wrong about the fifteen minutes)

My companion lifts her umbrella back as the rain slows to a drizzle. The red neon rays from a sign to my left blush off her cheeks like a telltale crimson mark of an innocent midsummer's love. Yet her face still looks cold and pale (to me), a stark contrast to the luminent sparkle in her enchanting violet eyes, a natural allure of hers.

(Suddenly, I don't find them beautiful anymore)

Her silence gives me time to appreciate the (subtle) sound of the (drizzling) rain. (And, more importantly, it gives her time to think about her damn priorities)

"Oh... Oh, all right. Tell ya what... Let's just stop by Poop Dog Fashion for a couple minutes- I bet that's still open... And then I guess we'll go watch Rise of the Whatsits. Y'see, they've got this pair of jeans..."

I shake my head. (She'll never change; at least not in my lifetime)
It's time to act.

"Sorry. I hate to say this, but... Zita, I'm going to watch my zombie movie, whether you're coming or not."

"Whoa, wait, wait wait... Relax... Don't do something you're gonna regret, Dib."

(Is that a challenge?)

Time to get melodramatic.

In a swift movement I pull from my trench coat a concealed package. (A treasure I spent the better half of a week scouting for)
I push up my glasses and cast my (finally) weary eyes down upon the lovingly wrapped token of my (naive) affection, and watch as the raindrops that fall upon it sink into the frail wrapping (as if to melt away the barriers I've put up to keep the truth from myself).
She doesn't move (but I can see she's ready to recoil at any instant). I drop the would-be gift at her feet, and hear its fragments break apart between us. She looks down upon it (for a split-second) to guess its contents. (Like she would even care if she knew what it was)

"You didn't even remember... Did you?"

"Aw, c'mon Dib. I love you. You know that."

I don't know what I expected her reaction to be (but that was definitely not it, dude).
Whatever. I don't know whether this is funny or painful. (Or a little of both)

"If it wasn't such a cliche, Zita, I'd let you know that love is just a word. A doomed word."

A pause.

"What's a cliche?"

I groan (a little). Now all I want are those two months of my life back. I'm more than ready to burst back into Zim's house and get his lazy ass of the couch (so I can announce that I'm going to foil his latest diabolical plan and expose him to the world; yep, those sure were the good ol' days).

"You don't love me, Zita."

"Diiiiiiiiiib!"

I walk away slowly. (Cue dramatic music)

"Do I have to remind you what I gave up to be with you? Huh? LIKE, MY WHOLE ENTIRE REPUTATION! You come back here! Come back this instant or I'll... I'll do something HORRIBLE!"

I don't even think of turning around. Horrible shmorible. (At least I have my health)
Without emotion I open up the Sibling Link on my wrist communicator.
Maybe Gaz'll wanna watch Dead Rising IV with me, even if we miss the first ten minutes. (She loves that kind of stuff)

"Fine... See if any OTHER girl will go the the junior prom with a LOSER like YOU!"

Ouch. Shot down (by the cutest girl in school). What ever should I do?

"Fuck the prom." That felt so good (I feel like saying it again).

"YOU'RE CRAZY, DIB! CRAZY, I TELL YA!!!"

Hey, maybe I am. But ya know what?

I kinda like it. (I prefer it over the alternative)

A/N: A little anticlimactic (and bitter), eh? I know, I know, it isn't really that angsty (nor is it a romance). It's just a (very) cynical story that reflects how I feel about my past relationships. And yes, it is a one-shot. And no, I will not continue it because I don't know where I could possibly take it. When you review (and I hope you do) please leave me your criticisms (as well as your comments). Domo arigato.