Vulnus

Chapter 01: Grenade

A/N: So a few things you should note here. This story is somewhat AU, and in it, Logan is definitely different. Not necessarily out of character, but he's a bit overweight, and has a slight hunchback; y'know, typical kind of nerdy stereotype. Just wanted to clear that up. This was written in June 2011.

Logan lay awake on his leather sofa, listening to his cheap MPEG-1 Audio Layer 3 Player as it blared out music. He glanced at the window in front of him, from which a hybrid of moonlight and sunlight tried to sneak in and rob the misery from Logan. However, the impending darkness and cold temperature defeated the joy from ever reaching Logan. He shifted uncomfortable on the dark sofa, his back crying out in protest. Normally, Logan would have preferred to rest on the floor, except he was afraid of insects crawling over him. He once read a statistic that the average human unknowingly swallows four live spiders each year. He shivered, and although he used his rationale and logic to disprove that theory, he could not even fathom the thought of a spider being next to him as he stirred awake. Once again, Logan tossed and turned on the uncomfortable sofa, hiding himself away from the light outside the window and preferring to hide away in the darkness.

Suddenly, his playlist shuffled to a song he had not heard in a few months. It was by Bruno Mars, and it was called Grenade. Logan slightly grinned, although the darkness of the living room hid his teeth from gleaming in the light and suppressed any twinkle in his eyes. He loved the song for two main reasons. First of all, he found it so much fun to analyze and criticize. Second of all, it was not a bad song at all, and it made Logan think of many pleasant things, which was odd considering the lyrics of the song.

So finding a slightly more comfortable posture in his bed, Logan heard after four seconds, the beginning of the lyrics.

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all
But you never give

Logan wanted to smile sardonically to himself. His life was basically about how joy came easily, and left as easily. It was because Logan could find pleasure in the smallest things-from seeing a spider crawl away out of the house, to seeing someone smile. However, the third line, about taking it all, he knew whom he could refer that to. Mr. Mitchell; his father. His father was ill, there was no doubt about it. His father was probably clinically insane, but no one could understand that. Everyone thought he was such a wonderful socialite, a fantastic cook, and so forth and so on. It was frustrating and it made Logan want to scream out about all the sins his father committed. His father took away all the joy Logan could have had in his life, and even worse, never gave him love. Logan eerily remembered one bruise he had for several weeks from his father beating him at a train station. He forgot why, but he knew his father was so disappointed. Logan always strove to be the best son he could.

Should've known you was trouble
From the first kiss
Had your eyes wide open
Why were they open?

Logan smirked at this part of the song. He corrected Mars, as it should have gone "I should have known you were trouble." He also always found it odd, because he wondered why having eyes open during a kiss would be bad. Furthermore, if the singer saw the eyes open, wouldn't that mean that the singer's eyes were open too? What was bad about that? Logan sighed, as he felt a pang in his chest. He had never had his first kiss. He was a senior in high school, and yet the closest thing he had a date was a girl in eighth grade. She ended contact with him starting high school due to their different high schools. Logan wondered oddly, as he traced his fingers across his lips, what it would feel like to be kissed. To be loved. Holding back a river of tears, Logan listened to the next part of the song.

Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love
Is all I ever asked
Cause what you don't understand
Is

Once again, Logan metaphorically placed his father as the object of the singer's song. Logan remembered once he made his father an art project at school when he was in fourth grade, and his father called it "grotesque" and "disgusting" and tossed it in the trash. It was a picture of Logan's father as a stick figure, holding Logan's hand. Of course, the drawing was two stick androgynous stick figures, but it hurt Logan because it was in the shape of a heart and it meant so much to him. He had begged his art teacher to let him do this project instead of a painting a house so he could give it to his father for his birthday. All Logan ever wanted was to hear his father exclaim pride about having Logan as a son. Logan had heard his father talk about Logan and claim he had good grades, but Logan knew his father was speaking politically; he didn't mean a single word of it.

I'd catch a grenade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same

Logan shifted from his hurt grimace to his trademark smirk. He oddly wondered why in the world the singer would ever have to catch a grenade for anyone; why he would have to throw his hand on a blade for anyone; why he would have to ever jump in a train for someone; why would he have to be shot in the brain. Logan wondered oddly if this singer was singing from a war time place, or something. However, sentiments filled Logan. He had heard his parents arguing and his mother brought up that Logan's father's diabetes was killing his kidneys. Logan, as a young boy, had drew a picture of a kidney to the best of his ability and smiled the next day as he placed it in his dad's spot at the dinner table. However, his father saw it and gave Logan a smack in the face for 'mocking him'. He would not hesitate to go through pain for his father; he didn't know if he would ever get a chance to catch a grenade, but he would surely try and help his father. That's why Logan wanted to work in the medical field; so he could help others like his father.

Black, black, black and blue
Beat me 'til I'm numb
Tell the devil I said "Hey" when you get back to where you're from

The beatings hurt Logan the most. The fact that his father could look at him in the eyes and beat him with a spatula with piping hot oil from the stove hurt more than the spatula itself. Logan never wanted to wish ill on his father, but he did feel many a times that his father must have been the Devil, if not his neighbor. He didn't know what he did to his father, but he must have done something wrong. His mother was on his side, but she was weak. She was depressed, as far as Logan could tell, and had no strength to fight against Logan's father. Moreover, she was unemployed. Logan knew today, when he saw a letter in the trash, that Logan's mother was rejected the appeal from her unfair termination from her job.

Mad woman, bad woman
That's just what you are
Yeah, you smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car

Whenever Logan sang this song to himself, he would replace woman with man. Logan loved his mother, but was afraid when she yelled at him for not cleaning his room and claiming he was trying to give her a heart attack. Logan knew his mother loved him; it was far more obvious than any love his father would ever have. However, Logan's father's face appeared to Logan; it's pallid demeanor and horrific and sadistic grin. Logan did not know what he did wrong.

The song repeated itself, as Logan found himself drifting off to sleep. It did not matter anyway; the clock blared out red numbers and read that it was three-thirty in the morning. Logan would have to wake up in two hours anyway, but the dark circles under his eyes begged him to sleep. With that, Logan fell asleep finally.

The sunlight harassed Logan to wake up, and beat his face with it's bright rays. Logan never understood how such a dim source of light in the fall could be so violent toward his burning face. He hated getting up, and knew his father would yell at him if he didn't wake up in time. Sighing, Logan walked over to his bathroom, cringing slightly. He hated his house, and his bathroom. He used to live in a mansion; well, not a mansion, but a large house. His family went into foreclosure, and eventually they were reduced to this motley house. Logan sighed as he turned on the lights, and almost jumped. There was a huge centipede sitting in the sink. However, Logan tried his best to ignore it's bulging body and creepy little legs as he brushed his teeth. He cringed as he accidentally spat at it, causing it to wiggle slightly. Logan ran out of the bathroom temporarily, as he climbed into the dark and cool basement. He found his clothes scattered on the sofa, and picked up a dark brown long sleeved shirt, jeans, and a belt. He picked up his boxers, undershirt, and climbed back up into the painful upper level. As Logan entered his dirty bathroom again, he noticed the centipede missing, and his goosebumps rose as he wondered where that beast disappeared. Logan quickly stripped himself of his clothes, and looked at himself through his dirty mirror. Logan was overweight, no doubt about it. His chest bulged, and his back hunched. He was hideous. His dandruff in his hair threatened to avalanche out onto his skin, like burning corrosive snowflakes. His dark circles screamed 'ugly' and Logan sighed. He always looked at his baby pictures and wondered how something so cute could turn out so ugly.

He then reached into a draw in the bathroom counter. He pulled out a small pouch, and opened it. It was a razor blade. His biology class in ninth grade required that they cut dicotyledonous and monocotyledonous flowers, and thus they had to use razors. Logan stole it from the classroom and kept it. He looked at his left arm, glorified with deep scars and pain. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply as slowly, the razor gracefully danced against his skin. It left a wake of beautiful red rubies, as the once dirty blade seemed to adorn a silver gleam to it, saving Logan. It danced like an angel and moved like a princess as it grew the reddest rubies known to man. The dance was over before Logan knew it, and he sighed. He placed the razor back into the pouch, and into the pocket of his jeans as he quickly stripped the rest of his pajamas off, and entering the dirty shower, where the ugly centipede sat at the back. The pungent smell of mildew filled Logan's nostrils as he hurried to shower. He hated spending a long time in his dirty shower because it was not only unhygienic and teeming with critters, but it also was just...disgusting.

Finally, Logan finished his shower after a quick five minutes and adorned his clothing. He raced out of the bathroom, dumping his clothes into his hamper, and saw his father warming coffee. Logan grimaced slightly, as he went to find something from the fridge.

"Oh you're eating? I would have figured you wanted to lose a few pounds from that colossus figure of yours." Mr. Mitchell jeered, as Logan winced in emotional pain. As the light of the refrigerator closed, so did Logan's chance to have a good day. He would rather starve than eat and let his father taunt him.

Finally, as if a savior came, Logan looked at the time and wished his father a good day, to which he got a snort in reply. Logan sighed as he quickly grabbed his only pair of shoes, and raced outside to reach the bus stop, luckily located near his house. His shoes were filthy and breaking apart; the shoe laces looked like a dog had chewed on them. But Logan had his bulging backpack, his clothes, and his shoes, and was prepared the second circle of hell; school.