Chapter 1

I don't know where you're going

It was nearly 6:30 PM in LA, and Connor had just sat himself down for dinner. Alone. The sun rested lazily on the dimming horizon, slowly drowning itself into a deep slumber. He picked up the fork and knife, and slowly began to eat the meal he had prepared himself. Alone. The apartment began to cool, as if the warm summer sun had abandoned his apartment. Living alone had started to get to him

But do you got room for one more troubled soul?

Troye sat at his desk, lazily flicking his pencil. Songwriting had taken up most of his time now since he had graduated. Restlessly, he stood up and paced around the room. The sun had really started to shine at 10:30 AM in Perth. The light blinded his striking blue eyes. Could that be a song idea? The light struck down upon you, and…. And what? Songwriting was so hard without a friend to help him. He felt so alone.

I don't know where I'm going

Connor had just finished cleaning up his plate, and started to get ready for bed. All sunlight had vanished into the night sky, living his apartment bathed in the moonlight. He treaded across the cold wood floor, approaching his bedroom. The silence almost disturbed him. Though he had loved the O2L brothers like family, they weren't very accepting of his sexuality, forcing him to enter a great depression and leave them. Kian wasn't screaming out random noises, Jc wasn't playing with Wishbone, Ricky wasn't giving any what's. It was paranormal. It made him feel very alone.

But I don't think I'm coming home

"Troye! What are ya doing in there!" a voice from downstairs yelled. Troye ignored his mom, and continued to lie upside down on his bed, attempting to think of something even remotely catchy. This na na na didn't match that oh oh oh, and this I love you didn't seem to let you go. The words he had piled together came out sounding like something from a boy band. He wasn't a boy band, he was a Troye band. That was probably the stupidest thing he had ever written. A mind full of jumbled lyrics made him feel extreme confusion. No one understood his confusion, which made him feel very alone.

And I said, I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead

A book on the art of black and white photography and two cups of coffee later kept Connor from sleeping. All he could think about was past memories, repression wouldn't keep them from replaying every horrid moment in his head. The discrimination from the rest of the O2L boys. The fight with Tyler. The news outlets starting to bug into his personal life. Everything was too much, and it made Connor feel more alone then ever.

This is the road to ruin

Few legible words were scrawled across the paper, and the majority of the markings were scribbles or crossed out lyrics. Nothing seemed to fit. A song was like a jigsaw puzzle. Different parts fit in different places, and all were important to the big picture. Even was word off will throw off the song. The precision of it all required extreme effort. Something Troye wasn't ready to do on his own yet. He crinkled up the paper into a small ball, and threw it in the overflowing wastebin. He stood up, and left his room to head to the washroom. He washed all the ink from his hands and wrists. He lifted his head and stared into the mirror. The only thing that stood out in his reflection was something that couldn't been touched. His face was emitting only one expression- loneliness.

And we're starting at the end.