No place safer
.
Isabelle was sitting on her bed, her back against the wall. She was clutching Jace's… no, Max's toy soldier. The one that Jace'd given to his younger brother when he turned seven.
Izzy put the toy onto the nightstand, lay down on the bed and turned onto her side. Her fingers grabbed a hold of the heavy, velvet bedspread and the next thing she knew she was hugging it, straining it against her chest with the same despare she'd held Max's cold body with on that night…
A tear traced its way down on Izzy's chin.
She was brought up to become a Shadowhunter, and – in consequence - she knew for a long time that death was inevitable. Isabelle's been prepared for the loss. She'd accepted that one day she may lose her boyfriend, aunt or even everyone she ever loved. Though, the thing she wasn't prepared for was Sebastian killing her nine-year-old brother in cold blood.
To die in battle; that was one glorious death. A death that's woth living for. But Max was no more than a child murdered. He wasn't even given his first Marks, not to mention combat trainging or weapons. He had no knowledge on how to protect himself, and everytime Izzy closed her eyes she saw her younger brother taking a step back while trying to dodge the death-blow of Sebastian's hammer.
Isabelle started to wiggle uncomfortably with her face burried into the rose scented bedspread when someone knocked on her door.
"Iz, it's me" the boy standing outside whispered. "Alec."
"Go away!" shouted Isabelle. "Just leave already!"
"Izzy" Alec was trying hard not to crack the door open and tell his sister that being a drama queen won't help her get over the pain. "What happened to Max… is not your fault, okay?"
Isabelle swallowed bile. The bitter taste helped her put herself together enough to get up. She sat stooped, fingers clenching the sheet, legs wobbling nervously.
"You don't have to lie to me, Alec" the girl whispered, her voice trembling. "I know that it's all my fault. I wasn't careful enough."
I wasn't careful enough. If only I had figured out what Sebastian was up to… If only I hadn't been blinded by his brilliant smile and his amazing, dark curls, If only I had payed more attention I could have noticed that he was acting strange. I could have doped out that he was a spy for Valentine. Izzy trembled with anxiety. She always knew that Valentine was the enemy of the Clave, that he wanted to have the Mortal Instruments, that he wanted to slaughter all Downworlders but the feeling she had towards him was more like disdain than hatred. It surely was, until Sebastian – acting by Valentine's orders – smashed Max's tiny skull with a hammer.
She's no longer cared about the reasons other Shadowhunters fought Valentine for. She didn't care about the peace kept by the name of the Angel, she didn't care about the crisis of the Downworlders, she didn't care about the Clave either. The only thing she still cared about was Max. Max and his dark hair, soggy with clotting blood, his tiny, broken body, the toy soldier he was clutching, the blood on his sleeves… Max was far too young to die.
"Mom and dad…" Alec started, quietly.
"Mom and dad are blaming me for everything that happened. You think I haven't noticed? You think I cannot see it in their eyes? The way they look at me…"
"That's not true, Izzy!" Alec snorted, his voice filled with anger.
Though she couldn't see her brother, Izzy twitched. Never ever had Alec raised his voice like that before. The boy was usually calm, angsty, determined and in control, the kind of man girls were ready to take their clothes off for. But as for Izzy, she didn't like boys who looked as if they never got mad about anything. In Isabelle's world, rage equaled passion equaled a good time.
"Alec…"
"Iz, we all have a hard time figuring out how to move on. 'Coz this is what we have to do. Move on." The boy sighed. "It's easy to blame ourselves for not noticing that Sebastian was up to something but the truth is; none of us knew him well enough to spot that there was something odd about his behaviour. Not even Aline."
Isabelle took a deep breath. It wasn't the best idea to come up with Aline… and Alec undoubtedly knew that. If there was anyone Izzy hated more than herself at the time, it was definitely the Penhallow girl. She couldn't even imagine how Aline, whom Sebastian used to play with every day until the age of five, whom he used to write letters to every week while he lived in France, hadn't noticed that his cousin turned to Valentine's side and started murdering children in cold blood.
"Listen" she sighed, resigned.
"No, you listen" Alec's voice was suprisingly determined. "You made a victim of yourself because you feel guilty. I get it. But it's time for you to realize that there was nothing you could do."
"What do you mean?"
"Come on, Isabelle!" Alec laughed bitterly. "The guy was appealing, helpful, smiley… someone you want to be around. I mean if you'd told me that Sebastian was going to turn out to be a murderer I wouldn't have believed you. Honestly, he seemed to be the type who spends his evenings knotting matching, pink stokings and writing love letters. I'd never have assumed that he randomly freaks out, grabs a hammer and starts running around, smashing skulls."
Bet you would have worn those stockings – Isabelle thought, tired. She considered saying it out loud but – knowing that it would have been unfair – she kept her mouth shut. Izzy knew that her brother was tired too, that he grieved and had a hard time accepting the loss… Alec just didn't deserve to be mocked. Not now. Not even if Isabelle really needed to let off steam.
If they had still been in New York Izzy would already have made out with a warlock or a sexy vampire just to release the mixture of pent-up stress, pain and frustration which was draining life from her day in day out. She would already have made it through the hardest part, just like Jace and Alec. As for the blond, he would have kicked some vampire ass and Alec… Izzy wasn't sure what exactly would Alec have done. He always seemed so collected and prudent. He never made a scene, started yelling randomly or decided to rearrange his room by breaking everything fragile like Jace did when he needed to let off steam.
"You're taking it way too easy" Isabelle sighed.
"I'm not" protested Alec after a few seconds of silence. "Max was my brother, after all. My only brother, not counting Jace and I believe we shouldn't count him due to the following facts. A: we're not related by blood, B: I was ten when I first met him and C: I used to be in love with him."
"You're changing the subject" the girl observed briefly.
"I'm not!" he snapped, Isabelle snorted. "Okay, maybe I am but that's not the point. Let me in, Izzy!"
"And here I thought I've just told you to leave…"
"You have" agreed Alec. "But there's something I haven't told you. I didn't come empty-handed."
Izzy raised her head. He didn't come empty-handed? What's that supposed to mean?
Alec wasn't the type to run away from his problems, but also he was nothing like his sister who – if having a hard time – simply put on some make-up, picked something extremely sexy to wear and headed off to a party thrown by Downworlders with the intention to get hammered and hook up with some smoking hot guy.
"Don't mess with me, Alec."
"Iz, I'm not messing with you." Alec sounded tired. "See, I'm pretty much aware of how you must feel. Everything's different in Idris. We can't just loosen up a bit and have some fun, not now that the Clave's holding a meeting almost constantly so…"
"So what?" Izzy asked bitterly while walking through the room. She picked up a hair brush from the floor and brushed her dark hair quickly.
"So I can drink this bottle of whisky while sitting in front of your door or you can let me in and have your share."
The girl stiffened. She stared at her reflection in the mirror for a moment, considering whether or not to believe what Alec said. Finally, she decided to trust him so, after checking her make-up, she walked to the door.
"Swear to the Angel that you're telling the truth."
"I swear, Izzy" Alec said, resigned and the noises coming from the corridor told Isabelle that her brother got up from the floor.
.
To be continued~
Reviews are welcomed :]