(AN)-- This new story has been inspired by 'How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days.' I tell you, it's a kick. So here's my twisted version of it, featuring the ever-popular Reno and Yuffie. Why, because it's easy to play around with their characters. I have a feeling I'll have a ball with this one. As for School Blues it's still going. That's a weekend thing, and this one's…well this one's just whenever. Cheesy title, I know. Lay off.

` p a n d o r a

g a m b l e of l o v e

i. friend in need

Tifa Lockheart slumped over her desk, carefully scrutinizing a glass bottle, sloshing the blue liquid within it. Then, she set it down gently on a tray full of the same familiar bottle and pushed it aside with ease. She removed a clipboard from underneath a counter and wrote down the day's orders as well as her analysis of the product.

"Potion one-oh-seven: a liquid concoction formed of blue fire - another well-rounded product from the company of Shinra. It carries a remedial scent of…" she paused and grabbed the bottle, twisted open the cap and sniffed, "…blueberries…very unoriginal and exceeding." She added quickly to the piece of paper.

She brushed a lock of hair away from her face and behind her ear before she set her clipboard down and sighed with ennui. The day was going by slowly, like clockwork as usual, and she wished that if she could turn back time she would have chosen another job that didn't concern careful examination of scented medicine or suchlike knick-knacks from Shinra Co.

Shinra Co. was recognized all over the world for their unique brands of fragrances, lotions, and everything that a woman could ever desire. As of now, however, they were manufacturing potions to somehow "relieve" the stress of an individual.

Tifa snorted. Oh, how original.

"Hey Tifa!"

Yuffie Kisaragi bounced up beside her from the back room, grinning from ear to ear like a giddy child who had just opened presents on Christmas morning. Her hair was boyishly short yet cute and her doe-brown eyes were the very essence of sweet chocolate. She was a colleague of hers for three years and for three years they had managed to construct and develop a strong bond of friendship while unhappily working at a business corporation who worked for Shinra by selling their products. While Tifa conducted examinations, Yuffie was lucky enough to tag prices on the goods. If by some miracle they could switch places for a day, she would have died and gone to heaven.

But chocobos would have to fly first.

"Hi. What's up?"

She breathed. "You'll never guess the most ridiculous thing Shinra has come up with this time? This whole 'stress relief' perfume doesn't even come close to their new merchandise."

"It couldn't get much tacky. Please, do tell." Tifa readied herself for the worst. She was surprised that she hadn't rolled on the ground and died of laughter yet, knowing what outlandish ideas their manufacturers could come up with.

"Potion one-oh-one: Crimson Love." She giggled.

She arched a slender brow while staring down the younger girl.

"I hope to Odin that this is a joke of theirs. Crimson Love, are you kidding me? What is it this time? A love potion?" She sighed dramatically, holding her hand to her forehead in a damsel-in-distress manner.

"Yep." Yuffie nodded. "Supposedly, it'll be their greatest merchandise yet."

A love potion, she pondered. Now I've heard everything.

"Supposedly." Tifa repeated and leaned against the counter. "People fall in love naturally. I doubt the company understands that."

Yuffie nodded in agreement, crossing her arms. "You know, if they really want to make a popular product, they should concoct a potion designed specially for women."

"And what would that be?"

"Give women the guts to break up with their jerk-off boyfriends. That is, if they have one." She said. "I'm proud of being a woman, hell, I am one, but when I see best friends crawling back to their tenaciously arrogant boyfriends, it demeans the female population. That's like sinning against your blood."

Tifa shook her head. "Wonderful idea, Yuffie, but I say they should make a potion for men. You know for giving them a reality slap that women aren't all just body. We have intellect, something they obviously need to learn about."

The younger girl shrugged. "Nah. I think with enough willpower, a woman herself can whip their guys into shape."

There was silence for a moment before they wistfully sighed in unison, thinking of all the wonderful and farfetched ideas they could come up with that only women dream about.

"So," Tifa began, changing the topic, "have you seen Elena lately? I heard she was going out with Tseng. Can you believe that? He's a bomb waiting to explode and then suddenly, here comes a girl that teaches him to slow down his clock and relax, rather than stress himself out senseless."

"Uh…" Yuffie trailed off as she busily attended to a package in the corner of the room that she had to stack into a neat formation in the display window.

Tifa eyed her colleague suspiciously, burning holes into her head. "Is there something that you know that I don't? Don't tell me it has anything to do with her relationship with that man because as far as I know, they've been doing pretty well."

"Uh…"

"Yuffie, spill." She commanded.

"Well, uh…you see, he broke up with her. Tseng claims she's being too clingy."

Tifa shook her head slowly, unwilling to believe. "Elena is clingy, but that doesn't mean he should break up with her over that! She's a sweet girl…oh dear. Do you think she needs our help? When did they break up?"

"Two days ago. That's why she's been staying away from work."

"But I thought she just called in sick."

"Heartbreak." Yuffie confirmed for her friend as she continued stacking the box-full of potions.

"I think one of our friends needs some cheering up. I say let's take the rest of the day off to help her out. I'm sure our boss won't mind."

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Of course she wouldn't. Scarlet is a die-hard romantic; she'll do anything for love. She even has her eyes set on the young president of Shinra…so I hear. But you didn't hear this from me!"

"Well, this gives us a better reason to go then, doesn't it?"

"Alright. Let's go!"