It's late at night and this idea popped into my head about Luxord. So I decided to write it down, and it turned into this crack-tastic fic before you. Hope you enjoy it, please review. Beta'd by Lady Chimera.

Disclaimer: characters belong to Square Enix, Disney, etc.

Game Night by KitsuneFun

"The Evil that is... 'Game Night'"

A blond brow twitched. Was the kid serious?

Ocean-blue eyes stared up at him placatingly, "-Please-, play with me, Luxord."

Another twitch, "Don't you normally play with Xigbar?"

The boy's lower lip jutted out slightly as he pouted. 'He probably thinks that's cute...' "But Xiggy won't play with me. He said he was too busy playing War with Saïx."

Sure enough, when Luxord looked in the Freeshooter's direction he was playing a heated–or as heated as Saïx can become while playing such a game–round of War with the diviner, and it looked like there wouldn't be a winner anytime soon. His brow twitched some more, making Demyx worry it might be permanent. "Are you sure you wouldn't like to play with someone else? After all, I am the 'King of Games,'and I have never lost." It was a lie, but Demyx didn't need to know that. It -had- to have been a fluke that the Nocturne would choose -that- particular game.

'Is he crying?' Sure enough, the boy's eyes had begun to waver slightly with tears and appeared abnormally large and cute as he looked up. Luxord had to believe it was a trick of the light, since it wasn't possible for someone to look -that- cute, especially a Nobody... 'Then again...' he turned to look over his shoulder at Roxas who was playing "Shoots and Ladders" with Larxene, 'It's not like I haven't seen it before.'

"Xenmas is too busy watching 'Oprah,' and everyone else is already playing games like he ordered them to,." It was "Game Night" after all. Luxord gave a deep sigh, as he stared down at the dreaded game. The only game he had never won. The diabolical...

'Candy Land...'

"Fine... I'll play the yellow one..." After all, his losing streak against the game had to end sometime, -right-?

Demyx gave a whoop and hugged Luxord briefly before going to a nearby empty table and sitting down at it to set up the game. Luxord sat across from him with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting.

Axel, who had finished playing 'Mario Party' with Marluxia, was looking suitably amused as he sat down at the table to watch the two blonds play, much to the gambler's chagrin.

"I didn't know you wanted to play 'Candy Land'..." Luxord stated dryly, hoping to somehow get the very vocal redhead away from his table, just in case he lost the game. He knew Demyx could be persuaded to forget the info. Axel not so much.

Demyx looked excited as the fire wielder sat with them. "You should play," he picked up one of the gingerbread man pieces, "See? You can play the pink one!"

The twitch appeared to be an epidemic as Luxord watched the redhead's almost non-existent eyebrow twitch, "No thanks... I'm waiting to play a game with Roxas, so I thought I would watch you guys play in the meantime."

Blue-green eyes began to tear up again, giving off a certain overwhelming 'puppy-dog eyed' look if Luxord were to name such an expression, however, the red-head seemed to have mastered how to ignore such a look. 'He's probably become immune to it from hanging out as much as he has with Roxas...' Luxord thought before smacking Demyx slightly on top of his head. Out loud, he muttered, "Get to picking out the card, IX. I don't have all day."

Demyx pouted while rubbing his head but quickly drew from the deck. The card said '5,' and he moved his blue gingerbread man that many spaces. "Your turn!" He grinned over at Luxord, who only continued to glare, having a bad feeling about the game from the beginning.

"You know..." his thoughts were interrupted by a suddenly grinning Axel, "I can think of one way to make this interesting..."

Demyx, up for a challenge even though he tended to lose them more often than not, perked up more at the idea, "Really? What is it?"

If possible, the redhead's face split into the most evil grin Luxord had ever seen, and that was saying something, "Let's say the loser has to strip for..." he paused dramatically a bit, "Xigbar."

Luxord's eyes went uncharacteristically wide in shock at the suggestion, "Who the hell would agree–"

"Ok, I'll do it."

Luxord looked over in horror at a surprisingly calm Demyx, unaware that the act wasn't that much of a stretch for the boy. He tended to strip at least once a week for the sniper.

"But..." Luxord started to stutter, hoping there was -some- way that he could get out of this bet. It seemed, like always with the dreaded "Candy Land" game, Lady Luck wasn't on his side though. In fact, she was laughing her ass off from one of the couches in the corner as she sat next to Xenmas and Marluxia whom were still watching 'Oprah.'

"So that's settled," Axel continued, grinning. He couldn't wait to see the outcome since he knew that Luxord had never lost a game, so he was banking on using Demyx's stripping as a means of blackmailing the sitarist later, "Let's continue, shall we?" He gestured to Luxord's yellow gingerbread man.

Luxord decided that he wasn't going to let the bet, Lady Luck being against him, and the evil game's daunting losing streak get to him. 'I -will- win...' And with that he picked up his card from the deck.

(About 15 minutes later)

"I lost..."

"Holy hell... Luxord lost!" Axel stood dumbfounded as he watched Demyx land on "Home" first.

Apparently Demyx was just as puzzled by the turn of events as everyone else, but it only lasted a few seconds before the boy stood up and started doing an odd victory dance that oddly resembled the "Chicken Dance" in style. "I won. I won," he danced a circle around Luxord, "You lost. You lost." He started to swivel his hips in a circle and made a odd gesture that looked like he was turning a crank with his hands, "It's my birthday. I'm a genius."

Luxord wished he could just fade away and started to walk away, only to hear a rather loud cough next to him.

"Going somewhere...?"

He turned to look at a -very- amused Axel. "I was going to leave..."

Apparently that was the wrong answer, and the redhead made a loud buzzer-like noise, "Nope, wrong answer."

"You can't be serious..." Axel really wasn't going to make him strip was he?

"Don't you have to strip for Xigbar?"

'Ok...' Luxord thought as he stared in horror as the redhead took out a hand held video camera, 'Maybe he is...'

"Now get to stripping, pretty boy."

The older blond growled under his breath as he stood and glared at Axel before he walked off in Xigbar's direction, "I will kill you for this later!"

The redhead just ignored the threat like usual, "Less talkin', more booty shakin'."

It was official: Luxord's non-existence sucked. Not only was his losing streak continuing and more people other than himself now knew his dark secret, -now- he had to strip for Xigbar. 'Yep,' he thought while starting to dance in a suggestive way while slowly removing his clothes to the song "I'm Too Sexy" by the band Right Said Fred in front of a suitably traumatized Xigbar, 'My non-existence definitely sucks...'