hey hope you guys like this i just sat at my lap top and started typing and this is what i got.

chapter 1

I met edward cullen in the second grade, we were like the outcast of our class. So we gravitated towards each other. Me being the metal chompers of the class and him being the four eyes scrawny boy of the class we became best friends inseprable.

Every wensday at lunch time we'd bring each other a snack, that went on until the 5th grade.

"Man, Edward are you getting your little girl friend to bring you food now what are you going to become a fat pig when you grow up." a group of boys were looking at us laaughing it was the blond hair boy in the front named Mike newton.

"Come on edward lets go" i said grabbing his arm and pulling his arm.

"how about you shut up newton" edward yelled back.

"what cullen" mike said charging over to us i got in the middle right when mike swung his right fist and hit me in the face and i fell to the floor.

"having your girl take the hit for you cullen." mike yelled i got up and pushed mike to the floor. thats when the teacher came out and pointed at me and mike to come with her.

i got lunch detention while mike got after school detention. when i went out side i didn't see edward any where so i went to look for him i still couldn't find him the bell for class rung i went to my class hopping he would be in there and he was.

he didn't even glance my way when i tried to talk to him after class.

the next day i tried to talk to him and he turned quickly and yelled. "leave me alone your an annoying loser"

i was to shocked to ask him what i did wrong. the boys from yesterday laughed from afar and i turned not wanting them to see me cry and ran off.

after that edward started to hang out with the boys of the school while i sat alone at lunch and ate my sandwich and cookie.

then after a week of not talking it dawned on me that edward and i we were not friends anymore and that hurt me the worst.

8 years later

"bells time for school." charlie yelled through the door. "get up" then i heard his foot steps go down the stairs. i groaned and got up.

first thing i saw when i got into the bathroom was my sicko main of hair. i groaned louder and got in the shower washing my hair was the first thing i did. then i had a nice hot shower and got out my hair went to the middle of my back it was flat and straight.

i combed through it and left it down then i put my hoody on to hide my bruises i recieved last night. i put on some jeans then a pair of my ugg boots and and grabbed my keys. my back pack was right by the window and i didn't feel like being harrassed by charlies 'friends' so i went out the window.

the drive was short like always i stepped out my old and busted truck and started walking. edward was with his guy friends and he actually did grow up to be a heartbreaker. he had copper hair and the clearest green eyes. he didn't have his glasses anymore so it all worked out for him, me on the other hand i got my braises removed and i have my retainer but i only have to were it at night.

as i passed i knew they were going to make a snarky remark. "look at that ugly ass passing oh wait thats her face." brian a friend of edwards said and they all started laughing except for emmett. he turned shook his head and looked apologetic at me.

i kept walking and went into my first hour same routine as usual get picked on people throw things at me, and get called on every time for an answer.

Second hour didn't go any better. the whole day went bad and the worst period was fourth. i had Emmett in that class and i sat right beside him. we had a group work and i was paired with him.

" Hey I'm sorry about the guys they are stupid and immature." he apologized.

"it's ok." i said not looking at him.

"No it's not I'm tired of sitting around seeing you not stand up for yourself."

"can we finish this?" i asked pointing toward the sheet. He nodded his head and we began working. That is until i reached down to pick up my pencil, he stopped and just looked at my shoulder. I looked at what he was staring at and saw a huge black bruise of when i was pushed into the wall last night. i covered it back up and started working on our little group activity. I finished it as Emmett sat there in shock.

just as he was about to say something i stood up and left right when the bell rang. i tried to get out of there as quickly as ppossible. but he caught up and grapped my arm making me wince he instantly let go. "Who did that to you"

"It's none of your buisness." i said trying to walk again he grabbed my arm again.

"ooo looks like Emmetts going for Bella" i heard edward laugh. then some other people started laughing also.

I snatched my arm away and kept walking holding myself tight. Gosh mom i wish you were here right now, but god only knows were you are.

the rest of the day went by horribly and for the first time I actually wanted to go home.

In P.E. I don't know what happened but I broke down. I actually went behind the bleachers sat down on the dirt and cried i took out the pocket knive from my jacket and cut three thin lines in my rist. i let the tears fall as i felt a release of emotions ooze out my cuts. i sighed deeply and took out a cloth from my other pocket and rapped it around the cuts so it could soke up the blood and cover my cuts, at least i didn't have to wear cover up today because i would have been screwed if it came of with me wiping my face.

i got up and walked around the bleachers to find every one already went in side to change back out. After i change i got my stuff and went straight to my car.

but before i could make it i bombarded right into a brick wall. i fell on the floor and my stuff scattered. i looked up to see who it was that i ran into and it was none other than edward.

"watch were you going swan" he said in anger.

"here let me help you" emmett said as he started to help me pick up my crap from off the floor. what i didn't know that fell was my sharpend pocket knive and pain pills.

"what are you a druggy now " edward and his boys laughed.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP EDWARD" Emmett yelled. the guys stopped laughing and looked at emmett shocked than walked away sensing that Emmett was going to blow. "Let me see your arm Bella" he said when the guys left. i shook my head no and tried to grab my stuff from him when he put it out of my reach. "DAMMIT let me see your arm bella" he snapped.

I was fighting an internal battle between opening up to him infront of jasper one of their other stupid friends, and not showing him my arm. instead of waiting for my answer he grapped my arm and yanked the sleeve up showing the hand marks i got from home and the cuts i gave my self.

"what did you do to your self" he asked and i snapped my head up and grabbed my belongings from him and ran as fast as i could to my car.

i hated my life.

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