Father of Mine
*CoFA Spoilers and some spoilers from CoLS teasers and Cassandra Clare's tumblr. This bascically ignores the last few pages of CoFA (the Jace part) because I have no idea how to incorporate that into this story to be perfectly honest.
Summary: Robert and Maryse have announced their divorce, and Alec and his father have a confrontation about Magnus.
Father of Mine
Alec slung his duffel bag over his shoulder, prepared to stay at Magnus's for the night. Sure with his boyfriend being a warlock he could have anything he needed in a snap, but he liked the idea of going home and seeing his family even if it was just for a short amount of time. Despite everything that was going on with his parents right now, he still loved them the same. Some marriages didn't work out; Alec was old enough to accept that. It wasn't like that had put up a great façade anyway, as they were hardly ever together. Unfortunately for the Lightwood family, their divorce in no way meant either Maryse or Robert was free to leave, due to the Clave's restrictions on their movements.
He entered the kitchen, seeing his sister sitting at the table, shoulders slumped and her long black hair hanging limply by her face. If there was one thing that Alec knew it was that his little sister never slumped. He swiftly dropped his bag to the floor and sat next to Isabelle, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Iz, are you alright?" Alec asked the concern obvious in his voice.
Isabelle shrugged, turning to look at her brother, "Mom and dad have been arguing a lot, who stays in what room, whose fault it is, so on. It's a bit hard to deal with, but I'm a big girl Alec, go on to Magnus's."
Alec blinked, a bit hurt at the words. "Iz, if you want me stay here tonight, I will."
Isabelle shook her head, and wiped under her eyes, though no tears had fallen.
"No, I mean it Alec. You should go with him, enjoy what you have with each other. I'm just about to call Simon."
With those words, and a pitiful attempt at a smile, Isabelle stalked away. Alec knew from experience that once Isabelle said something she meant it, so he didn't bother stopping her, any attempt would be futile.
Alec just simply watched his sister nearly ram into their father in the hallway, Robert trying to stop her and get her attention. While Alec had not taken any side during the divorce, mostly due to Magnus's wisdom and explanation that sometimes relationships, even one's like Robert's and Maryse's, just end and there is no good or bad guy in it (while also maintaining no such thing would happen to them, they were in it for the long haul).
Isabelle on the other hand was one hundred percent on her mother's side, effectively shutting her father out of her life. Alec had tried to tell Isabelle what Magnus had told him, only to have the door slammed in his face and told that it was something he wouldn't ever understand. While he wasn't as experienced as either of his siblings, he found that a bit unfair to say. She later apologized when she saw that he had taken her comment to heart, explaining she was just having a bad day. Alec understood, it was Izzy and Jace's way of coping to shut others out, Jace getting a bit better about it thanks to Clary. Hopefully Simon could do for Isabelle what Clary and Magnus had done for Jace and himself if she ever let the vampire in, that is.
Robert sat solemnly in front of Alec, watching as his son slung his duffel bag over his shoulder, getting ready to go to his boyfriend's for the night. Boyfriend, the word still made Alec smile just thinking it. Magnus Bane was his boyfriend, of all the people Magnus could have in the world, he wanted Alec. Alec was sure of that now.
What he wasn't sure of, was what his father wanted. His father wasn't much of a talker, much more of a physical guy than emotional one. Alec had never quite seen his father like this, with the exception of Max's death Robert Lightwood had always been a controlled guy where emotions were concerned. It was where Alec and Isabelle got it from.
His father is watching him stand up to get ready to leave and Alec isn't sure what to say because his father looks so sad at the moment. Alec, being Alec, wants nothing more than to help his father. He has no idea how to do that though.
Lucky for him, Robert starts the conversation.
"Where are you going?" Robert asks, as if he doesn't already know the answer.
Alec goes along with it for his father's sake.
"I'm going to stay at Magnus's, I just came by to get some stuff and see Iz."
The look Robert gets when Alec says Magnus's name makes Alec's heart hurt. His dad hasn't been openly disapproving of the relationship, but Alec knows his dad and the looks he gets when Alec mentions Magnus. If it's because Magnus is a man or warlock he isn't sure. Either way Alec knows his relationship will likely never get the praise it deserves from his father, despite all Magnus has done for them and the Clave, without payment.
Alec has never talked to anyone about it, not even Magnus, but it hurts like hell to know his parents will never fully approve of his relationship, his mother only a little better than his father.
"Do you ever stay here?" Robert asked, trying and failing to sound impassive.
Alec winced at the question, quickly feeling guilty.
"I do, you and mom are just gone a lot lately."
Robert gave him a challenging look, not believing him.
"Right after the war you left with him on a round the world trip and you haven't stayed here since you got back."
"Right after the war you left for business, I have stayed here a night or two since I got back ask mother, she's been here." Alec replied, defensive due to the way Robert had referred to Magnus.
Robert stiffened, and Alec once again felt guilty.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean" Alec began, but Robert interrupted his apology.
"It's alright Alexander. I know my not being here is no one's fault but my own, and I promise despite what is happening with your mother and I, I will make more of an effort to spend time with you, Jace and Isabelle."
Alec swallowed, "I know you don't do it on purpose. Besides, I'm an adult now I understand all the responsibilities of being an adult in the Clave. I'm sure Jace and Izzy do too."
Robert, "I'm glad you do, and I hope you also understand, that as an adult what I'm about to say is simply out of my concern for you well-being."
Alec felt himself freeze a moment, not happy with the direction this conversation was taking. His father gestured for him to sit and Alec slowly complied.
"Alec I'm concerned about how fast your relationship with Warlock Bane is progressing."
Alec flinched inwardly at the professional address, remembering a time he had done the same thing to Magnus, a low point in their relationship.
"I just know this is your first relationship, and as a warlock of Magnus's age he has probably had many. You should be careful Alex, and possibly slow things down a bit."
Alec was trying to control his anger and breathing, not liking what his dad was implying about his boyfriend, his Magnus. His blue eyes darkened.
"Magnus wouldn't do anything to hurt me."
Robert blanched, "I wasn't saying he would, but this is your first relationship and it certainly isn't his, he dated the bloodsucker we had in custody at one point."
Alec felt as if his father had hit him by bring that up, and his hurt must have been obvious, because his father spoke up again.
"It is the truth, is it not?"
Alec nodded, not understanding why his own flesh and blood was saying such things.
"It was a long time ago," Alec finally replied, staring at his feet.
There was an uncomfortable silence between the two and Alec found himself wishing he hadn't stopped to try and talk to his sister. If he hadn't done that he would be at his boyfriend's by now and not having this conversation. Of course, Alec could never truly regret checking on his baby sister's wellbeing, as tough as Izzy was, everyone needed someone.
"I have no doubt about that, Alec."
Alec felt relief at the use of his nickname, hoping maybe the casual name would redirect the conversation into more causal waters.
No such luck.
"I just think this relationship may be moving a bit fast, you spending all your time there. He may take advantage of your inexperience."
"Magnus wouldn't do that." Alec snapped, now feeling angry.
He would have defended himself as well, he may not be the reckless hunter Jace was, but he wasn't too vulnerable that he was easily taken advantage of. He was quite closed off, actually, but Robert wasn't around to notice that, or he chose to ignore it, in favor of this conversation.
Robert raised his brow; Alec never spoke up against either of his parents, it was always Jace or Izzy who did so.
"Magnus loves me, and I love him. We've been together a while and this is how all Shadowhunter's relationships move, fast, because we don't have much time after all."
Robert blinked it was something he couldn't argue. He and Maryse had been together a short time before marriage. Alec felt a surge of pride in his self, seeing his father rendered speechless. That feeling was short lived.
"That is true, but does Magnus understand that?"
Alec blinked, not quite grasping what Robert was asking. Of course Magnus knew that, he had been around for hundreds of years, he had seen his fair share of deaths, he knew Alec would die.
"Of course he knows of your mortality, but can ever understand the way another mortal would? Another hunter?"
Alec gulped, so it wasn't about his being homosexual, but Magnus being a downworlder. Of course, Robert had once been a part of the circle. The type of prejudice that drives you the eradication of a group certainly doesn't fade. Alec must have hoped for more, especially of his family.
Alec didn't answer, just stared at the ground, fearing the hurt was too plain in his face his blue eyes burning with tear that he refused to allow to fall.
"Alexander," Robert says softly, interrupting Alec's train of thought.
Blue eyes flash up, meeting Robert's dark one's, those eyes seem to be full of anger, instead of shining with hurt as they were earlier.
"Father," Alec replied tightly to Robert's surprise.
Eyebrows raised Robert added on, "I just wish you would think about what I'm saying, so neither you nor Magnus ends up like your mother and I."
Alec shook his head, "We won't I know it."
Robert exhales a frustrated breath, and tightens his hand into a fist, "You don't know that Alec, your mother and I once thought the same thing."
Alec was breathing hard now, and he was struggling to control his temper. He stood up to avoid saying anything he disrespectful and began to walk away.
"Alex please, I'm not doing this to upset you, I just want you to think"
"Think about what?" Alec snapped, anger boiling to the surface.
Robert drew back, never having seen this side of his son.
"You want me to think about how Magnus and I won't be together forever? Because I do think about that every single day, I know I'll age and die and he'll be the same. I have nightmares about it for the angel's sake. I do know, that he loves me and I love him…and despite how we both know it will end . . . it'll be worth it."
Alec seemed to falter and the end, and his breathing was erratic, but he felt oddly calm at the end, having let it all out.
Robert was staring at him in shock, and then he said something he shouldn't have.
"I cheated on your mother." Robert whispered, eyes not meeting Alec's.
Alec gasped, to frozen in shock and hurt to say anything.
"It happened before Max was born, and . . . after. . ."
After Max's death.
Robert looked up, trying to meet Alec's eyes.
"Your mother knew about the first time, and this last time, I may have gotten her pregnant . . ."
Alec still stood frozen, and Robert hated that look on his son's face, his eldest son, his pride and joy.
"Alec, please speak, I just thought you should know the truth before you found out through Clave gossip. It's why I brought up your relationship with Bane, I don't want it to end up this way."
Alec just shook his head, still unable to speak. He also couldn't possibly comprehend how his parent's relationship had anything to do with his own.
"I have to go, Magnus is expecting me."
Robert watched his son go, sadness in his gaze. He watched a dark clad figure follow after him, and knew it was Isabelle, going after her brother, not even looking at him. He rested his hand in his hands, and wondered what mess he made of his family.
Alec practically ran out of the institute, stopping only when he was a safe distance away from the church and when he felt out of breath. He bent over, holding himself up by pressing his hands on his thighs, trying to catch his breath. He had glamoured himself into invisibility, so mundanes around him couldn't see the mental breakdown he seemed to be having.
He ran his hand through is messy hair, trying to gather his thoughts.
"Alec," A soft voice called, Alec recognized as his sister's.
He flinched internally, hoping she hadn't heard any of his conversation with their father. Isabelle was bad enough with relationships as it was, Alec couldn't bear for his sister to hear what he had.
"Iz," Alec greeted his breathing normal again.
"Are you okay? I heard the door slam. . ."
Alec nodded, a bit happy that Isabelle hadn't said anything else of what she overhead. Maybe that meant she didn't hear his conversation with Robert.
"Yeah, just going to see Magnus."
Izzy gave him a skeptical look, and her black eyes looked at him sorrowfully.
"I'm sorry you had to find out this way. . ."
Alec blinked, "Find out what?"
Isabelle folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes, knowing what Alec was trying to do.
"I know Alec, I've known for a while now."
"How-When, who told you?" Alec sputtered in disbelief.
Isabelle shrugged, not wanting Alec to know just how long she had known of their father's past infidelity.
"I overheard mom and dad talking one night." Izzy lied.
Alec stared at his sister, knowing his sister and wasn't sure if she was telling the truth.
"Are you okay Alec?"
Alec nodded, "I'm fine. . . I just needed to get out."
Isabelle nodded, and being an expert on when someone needed their alone time, gave her brother a small squeeze of the shoulder, before she turned to leave.
"Iz," Alec began, grabbing ahold of his sister, turning her to face him. Their eyes meet, blue on black.
"Yes brother," Isabelle teased.
Alec worried his lower lip, "Not all relationships are like that. Magnus and I, Jace and Clary, we aren't like that."
Isabelle blinked at him, but slowly smiled, "I know that Alec."
Alec nodded, "Okay, I just. . . I don't want you to think all relationships are like that, I want you to be happy is all."
"I don't think they're all like that Alec."
"Okay then, can you promise me something?"
Isabelle rolled her eyes and smiled, "Sure, what do you want me to promise?"
If it had been Jace she would have asked what he wanted to have her do, but with Alec she knew it wasn't anything out of control.
He grabbed her by the hands, "Swear by the angel."
Isabelle sighed, "I swear by the angel, I'll do whatever you ask of me."
Alec smiled, happy he wasn't asked what he wanted of her before she swore.
"Don't go back home until later tonight, go spend time with the vamp- Simon."
Isabelle glared, feeling a mixture of emotions, being duped by Alec of all people. She rolled her eyes and smirked, "Guess I don't have a choice now, do I?"
Alec mirrored her smirk, "Unless you want to break a promise to the angel . . ."
"Wouldn't want to do that," Isabelle replied, slipping her hands out of Alec's and beginning to walk away, stopping only a few steps later and facing her brother.
"Alec, ignore that stuff dad said about you and Magnus. He was projecting is all."
Alec gave his sister a halfhearted smile, "I know Iz."
Isabelle nodded and turned and trudged off once again, leaving Alec who didn't really known anything at all.
What if his dad was right? Up until recently his parents had been one of the few stable relationships he had known of. If they could fall apart, couldn't the same happen to himself and Magnus? After all, Alec had always thought Magnus was way too good for him, the relationship too uneven, with all Magnus had done for him- Alec could never repay him.
He slowly walked to Magnus's apartment with his hands in his pockets, so deep in thought he nearly walked past his place. Walking up the stairs he paused at Magnus's door, he didn't want to be alone with his thoughts, but being with Magnus could be just as bad, the warlock would know something was wrong right away and want to talk about it. Alec wasn't sure if he was ready for that now.
There was too much to think or talk about at the moment. His and Magnus' relationship, his father's infidelity, worry for Isabelle, the thought of his new possible half brother or sister.
Maybe his father would get the straight son he seemed to have always wanted. And he'd marry a nice Shadowhunter girl, and not cause the disappointment Alec seemed to. At least that's what Alec thought.
Fortunately for Alec, Magnus wasn't there at the time. He walked in to find a note from the warlock saying he'd be back later there had been an urgent call and he was the only warlock for the job. Alec sighed reading the moment a bit relieved he wouldn't have to talk right away.
Unfortunately for Alec, that meant he was once again left alone with his thoughts, in an empty apartment with nothing to do. He decided to lounge on the couch, possibly read a few books and do something to distract him because all of these thoughts running through his head were just bringing him down. On the way to Magnus's bookshelf, Alec tripped over an overturned chair he had not noticed before. If it hadn't been for his Shadowhunter balance, he probably would have fallen, but instead he grabbed onto the nearby shelf and steadied himself easily. This just gave him an idea. Though Alec knew Magnus hated tidiness as much as Jace despised filth, and Alec really didn't mind either way, he decided to clean his boyfriend's apartment. It would be more distracting than reading as he had read most of the books there anyways (the ones in languages he could read, which was currently English, French, Spanish, and some Latin). After all, it was too early to go on a hunt in which he could thoroughly distract himself. If Magnus wasn't back later that night that would be what he would do.
By the Angel, was he turning into Jace?
Quickly shrugging off that thought, Alec went to work. First he began by dusting the bookshelf, as he hated having to brush off a layer of dust before he went to reading. Then he tidied up the living room, careful as he placed the potions and beakers in their rightful cabinets. He then cleaned windows and was about to start on the kitchen when he noticed how dark it was outside.
Magnus still wasn't back and Alec was getting bored with cleaning, knowing the place would be back to the same mess it was in mere hours. He geared up and grabbed his blades, a stele, and secured his bow and arrows on his back, and just as he opened up the door who should come bounding up the stairs but Magnus, looking as cheerful and as effervescent as ever.
He greeted Alec with a hug and kiss, but when they pulled apart and he saw Alec's gear he frowned.
"Emergency call?"
Alec shook his head, unable to lie to the warlock.
Magnus raised a brow, "Then what? Some sort of role play?"
Alec flushed at this remark while Magnus simply chuckled.
"I was just going for a hunt . . . something to do while you were gone." Alec confessed, as it was somewhat true.
Magnus chuckled, kissing his Shadowhunter once more and pulling him inside. What he saw shocked him, his messy but organized in his own way apartment was neat and tidy. Magnus turned to Alec.
"Was Blondie here? I mean the place is so clean and you wanting to go off on a hunt. . . it would explain that look on your face, you always have that look when he's in trouble."
That was because Alec was troubled, and when Jace was troubled Alec was troubled. However this had nothing to do with his parabatai.
Alec shook his head, "No, he wasn't here. I was just bored."
Magnus studied his boyfriend, growing suspicious of his behavior. He knew Alec too well to just accept this response he knew something was wrong upon further investigation. Alec's slumped shoulders and the distant look in his eyes gave him away.
"Alec, darling what's wrong?"
Damnit, he was hoping for a little more time to avoid this.
Alec merely shrugged in response. Magnus narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest.
"Alec," Magnus warned.
Alec just shrugged again, but something changed in his eyes and he looked even sadder than before, causing Magnus to change his tone.
"Alec," Magnus whispered gently, leaning in and squeezing his shoulder.
Alec's blue eyes were dark with emotion and Magnus wanted nothing more than to help him, so he gave his shoulder one more reassuring squeeze and Alec finally spoke up.
"Father and I had an argument today," Alec began and looked up at his boyfriend through his lashes, "about you."
Magnus wasn't quite surprised by this and motioned for his boyfriend to continue.
"He thinks I should find a mortal . . . and that you can't understand me like another hunter would."
Magnus swallowed a lump in his throat, wondering what on Earth he had to do to prove to the Lightwoods he was worthy of their son's affection.
"So I got angry and yelled at him and then he confessed why he and mother are divorcing . . ." Alec continued slowly and he paused a long time as if unable to continue.
Their eyes met again and Alec looked as if he were struggling for his next words.
"He had an affair, and the other woman . . . whoever she might be is pregnant."
Alec felt himself start to lose control because what was bothering him was finally getting to the surface. The fact that his father was having another kid, possibly have a son that would replace him. That would give him the grandchildren he always wanted, that would date and marry another hunter, a girl.
Alec felt the tears that he could only let out around Magnus (even then crying was rare).
"He's going to have the perfect family he always wanted," Alec said angrily only a few tears escaping before he wiped them away and he clinched his fists at his sides.
"Maybe he'll have a straight son who'll date a hunter girl and they'll give him the grandkids that I won't. He'll forget all about me."
Magnus wasted no time and jerked Alec into a hug, kissing his boyfriend's hair and whispering words of comfort.
"Alec, your father could never replace you." Magnus whispered as they pulled apart staring into those blue eyes he loved so much.
"Seems like he is," Alec murmured moodily.
"No, he wouldn't have spoken to about his concerns on our relationship if he wanted to replace you." Magnus responded, though it pained him to defend the man who wanted nothing more than to see Magnus and Alec break up, it was important to Alec to have his father love him. Everyone deserved that, especially his Alec. If it were up to Magnus, Alec would have anything he desired and knowing Alec, it wouldn't be much. Family, friends and Magnus were the most important things to the Nephilim, which was why this killed him so much.
Alec glanced up, "I yelled at him. I've never yelled at either of my parents."
Magnus chuckled, "I'm glad you defended my honor."
Alec gave a half smile, and pressed their foreheads together.
"I'll always defend you Magnus, I love you."
Magnus gave him a small kiss, "I love you too, Alexander."
Alec shuddered at the use of his name it sometimes bothered him but not at times like this. The way it rolled of Magnus's tongue in moments like this, was simply breathtaking.
He pulled his warlock boyfriend, the love of his life, in for another kiss. He kissed his male, immortal, downworlder boyfriend who loved him more than life itself and he wouldn't have it any other way, despite his father's opinion.
Ooo
I hope this was okay and no one was to ooc. Magnus is so hard to write. R&R please, constructive criticism more than welcome.