There are probably a lot more stories like this one out here (I don't really know, I'm quite new in the DN section of FF) but still wanted write it. Most LxL fics I've read up to now turned out OoC sooner or later, but I think I've managed to keep both L and Light true to character – at least I hope have.
Have a nice read.
~ Stay with me to the end ~
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Light muttered. His legs were shaking and his head felt heavy, but he kept running. He pressed his right hand against the wound in his side. His shirt was soaked and warm blood oozed through his fingers. Shot by Matsuda, by Matsuda, of all people.
Matsuda, you idiot! You damned, damned idiot!
Defeat, humiliation, pain, even fear. It was wrong, it was all wrong.
I'm Kira, dammit! This can't be the end, I refuse to die!
Light was smart, smart enough to understand that there was no way to escape. There was no clever solution, no pretty trick, no backup plan. But his pride wouldn't allow him to surrender and admit his defeat.
Think of something, think of something!
His brain, which he had always considered as infallible, couldn't produce any coherent thoughts any more. The Death Note, Mikami, Misa, Ryuk, Near, Mellow, L, nothing made any sense. The world was wavering before his eyes.
"Fuck it… Fuck it all…" Light stopped running and leaned against the expanded metal fence. He let his head rest against the cool material. The wavering wouldn't stop. He tasted blood in his mouth and spit on the ground. His throat felt swollen, like raw meat. A trail of blood mixed with saliva ran down his chin.
A plan, I need a plan. No… No, I need help. But who? Who would help me?
"It will be lonely without me."
The memory of L's voice hit him like a lightning bolt. He tangled his fingers in the metal of the fence. Loneliness. Light bit on his lower lip. He was indeed lonelier than ever, imprisoned in this deserted industrial site. No matter where he would run, death would await him.
Light turned his gaze at the horizon and saw the world stretching out behind the fence. The sky was a velvet palette of orange and red. The buildings seemed to be on fire.
Nothing makes any sense any more…
Light closed his eyes. Memories flashed before his eyes.
Light sat on the broad stone stairway and dried his hair with a towel. He looked over his shoulder and saw L standing at the top the stairs, drenched from top to toe. His clothes clung to his body like a second skin, making him look more fragile than ever. Light couldn't help but notice the way his wet, lank hair hung in front of his eyes was rather cute – even sexy. L's eyes trailed off into Light's direction and Light quickly looked away.
After a few moments he heard L's footsteps approach him. Light's heart froze when L took his bare foot in his hand, and began to rub it with a towel. He was shocked, plain shocked. This tender, almost submissive action was nothing like L at all. But he had been acting strange all day.
"Ryuuzaki… What are you doing?"
"I thought I might help you out. You were busy drying yourself off anyway. I can also give you a foot massage," the detective said without looking at him. His head was bowed and his hair covered his eyes, making it impossible for Light to see to see their expression. "It's the least I can do to atone for my sins… Besides, I'm pretty good at this."
Light wanted to tell him to stop, but when L laid down the towel and started to caress and rub his foot with his soft, warm hands he gave in. "Fine… do what you want…" Light looked at the detective. L's hair was still dripping from the rain. A few cold drops landed on Light's foot. Without completely realizing what he was doing Light grabbed a towel, and softly squeezed the water out of L's raven locks. "You're still wet…" he said.
L raised his head and looked Light in the eye. The two stared at each other for a few seconds, until L broke the silence. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"Nothing, really…" L said.
It struck Light how lost the man sounded.
"I've done nothing you should be thankful for," Light said.
"That remark increases the odds of you being Kira with 2 percent…" L mumbled.
"Fuck the Kira percentages." Light said bluntly.
L continued to massage Light's foot. "I wish I could. I wish we would've met in another way, in another world, where there is no Kira."
"In a world without Kira we would've never met," Light said.
"You're probably right… Without Kira I wouldn't have had a friend like you. Looks like there's something I need to be grateful to him for after all…"
Light took L's hand and gently moved it away from his foot. "Enough."
L moved himself closer to Light and looked him straight in the eye. "It has been enough indeed. You and I will be parting soon."
"Why would you say such a thing?"
L didn't answer. He didn't need to either, Light knew what was going on in the detectives head. L had always known Light was Kira, and that he had set up things in such a way that Kira's power, as well as the memory of that power, would eventually return to him. And it had returned. L knew that, or rather he strongly suspected it, because there was no way he could actually be certain.
L… You know my plan has succeeded. The thirteen day rule I created proves my innocence to the world. The last one who suspects me is you, L. You are the last thing that stands in my way. You leave me no choice…
The net that was closing in on L was closing in on Light as well. The pieces of the chessboard were organized in such a way that there was no way for L to evade the final blow, and no way for Light not to apply that final blow. Because with L around, he could not create a new world. It was has his duty as a god to kill him.
It was then that Light noticed he was still holding the detectives hand. He felt a faint blush steal over his cheeks and quickly let go of L's hand. L barely seemed to notice it, he was just looking at Light with that weird glance in his eyes. It was sadness, Light realized. He lowered his gaze and stared at his own hands. Kira's hands. The hands that killed hundreds of people.
"I know how you feel, Ryuuzaki."
"Trapped, you mean? Like you've reached the end of a road that leads to a cliff and you have no choice but to jump or either be pushed over the edge?"
Light remained silent, knowing that that was enough of an answer to L. The detective knew him better than he should. Light put the blame on himself. He had allowed L to come too close.
Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer… A truth I've taken heed on. And now I'm paying the price.
Light felt how L's hand stroked his cheek.
"Light…" The detective whispered.
Light closed his eyes. He could feel L's hot breath on the skin of his face. Too close.
"Ryuuzaki, don't."
Light opened his eyes. Auburn irises met grey.
"I'm sorry… Nothing makes any sense any more… " L said. His hand trailed off to Light's chest and Light inadvertently shivered. A familiar feeling of need got the better of him. He had always managed to surpress it, but now... He gazed at L's lips and thought of white chocolate. He needed to taste those lips, taste hím. Light slowly moved his head.
"You do realize what you're doing, right?" L asked. Light paused. Their lips were barely an inch away from each other. Their breathing was one.
"It's like you said: nothing makes any sense any more…" Light murmured. His lips brushed L's, soft and brief.
"Oh Light…" L's words were barely audible. Light cupped the detective's cheeks in his hands and kissed him. L didn't react at first, but then his lips parted and Light slid his tongue inside. He tasted moist sweetness, innocent and soft. Their kiss became more intense. Their tongues moved in the same rhythm, pushing and pulling. It was a cat and mouse- play, a struggle for dominance.
A telephone rang. Their lips parted. L's forehead rested against Light's for a moment before the detective stood up and took his mobile out of his pocket.
"Yes?" L voice sounded hoarse and he cleared his throat. "I see, I'll be on my way." The detective put his telephone back in his pocket and looked at Light. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but then closed it again and turned on his heels without a word.
"Ryuuzaki…" Light felt like he should say something but he didn't know what. All he knew was that he didn't want L to leave. Not now.
L stood still but didn't turn around to face Light. "It'll be lonely when I'm gone," he said with an expressionless voice.
Indeed it will…
Light watched how L walked to the end of the alley, opened the door and disappeared.
Light closed his eyes. Too close… Way too close…
Too close...
Light stood there in the flaming glow of the sunset, leaning against the fence while his blood slowly oozed out of his body, and remembered it all – everything he had been through with L.
They had spent weeks together as if they were one person, chained with metal cuffs.
In the morning they woke up in the same bed. In the bathroom Light watched the silhouette of L behind the glass of the shower. That was only time their cuffs were off. It seemed L was quite shy – he would undress and dress behind the privacy of the depolished glass. Still, sitting there on the edge of the bathtub, while watching how the detective was taking a shower, made Light feel things he had never felt before. Need, lust, hunger. But he suppressed those feelings, denying their very existence because giving in to them would have consequences even he couldn't oversee. The detective and the suspect. They could not be, not even in their dreams.
Light's chained days were filled with staring at a computer screen, desperately trying to catch Kira. It were the days he didn't possess a single memory of the Death Note. Innocent, childishly naïve days; days that made Light smirk when he thought back to them.
He remembered how the insanely large amount of sweets L consumed never failed to astonish him, just like the way he always sat, with his arms folded around his knees.
He remembered L's annoying habit of asking him all sorts of Kira- related questions on a daily base.
He remembered how they fought, how they yelled at each other, how they exchanged suspicious glances, but still ended up in the same bed every day.
At night, L didn't sleep much. Whether this was because he suffered from insomnia or simply because his body needed very little sleep Light didn't know. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of night, and when that happened he would always find L staring at him with his big, grey orbs, often thumbing his lower lip.
"Were you watching me sleep?" Light asked him the first time it happened, slightly embarrassed.
"Yes, I do that all the time," L answered with a casual voice. "You look very serene when you sleep. I find that vision very soothing. It helps me relax and organize my thoughts."
"Whatever…" Light turned around and closed his eyes again, and discovered that he found the thought of L looking at him while he was asleep anything but soothing.
A few hours after the incident at the stairway, it happened. Light was leaning against the doorpost, his arms folded. He had not spoken to L since their kiss – he didn't have the guts to do so and it seemed as if L couldn't find that courage either. It was better this way, Light realized. They should both ban the incident from their memory because acknowledging the meaning of it would only result in pain and regret.
L revealed his latest plan to the team. Light's eyes widened and a feeling of unease came over him.
This is it. Rem… she won't let this happen, she'll -
An alarm sounded and all the screens turned red. Panick filled the room.
"Everyone, the Shinigami!" L shouted. "Where is-"
All sound ceased. The entire world seemed to stand still for a moment. One heartbeat. The spoon L was holding slipped out of his hand, and fell on the floor with a clinging sound. L's body became limb and he fell. It all happened in the blink of an eye, yet at the same time it seemed to last ages before the detective hit the ground. Light acted instinctively, and fell down on his knees besides him. The vision of L's face – paler than ever and his eyes cracked open in surprise – soon became blurry.
No… not yet! I'm not ready, it's too soon!
"Ryuusaki!"
"Light…"
"I'm sorry..." Light's lips formed the words soundlessly.
L's eyes slowly closed and a peaceful expression took possession of his face. He was dead. Light could barely believe it.
He died… He actually died...
It seemed so imaginary, as if L could opened his eyes again every moment, get on his feet again and reveal that this was all an act, a part of his plan.
But he didn't. He didn't open his eyes.
He's truly dead… I've won, haven't I? I got what I've wanted all this time…
Then why did he feel this pain in his heart? Why were there tears streaming down his face uncontrollably? He felt so many emotions, so many contradicting emotions – relief, grief, victory, emptiness – that his mind couldn't contain it. He just sat there, with the body of his arch enemy in his arms, trembling and crying like a child.
"What happened?" The desperate voice of his father made Light snap out of it. It was time. He needed to get it together and act like the Light everybody knew – the innocent, kind, composed Light that wanted nothing but to stop Kira's madness.
"That basterd Kira killed him, that's what happened," Light said and he wiped his tears away. "We're all gonna die now."
Without realizing it Light had entered a building. There was dust, broken windows, weathered metal and stone. He saw an iron staircase, bathing in the orange- red rays of the setting sun.
I'm like a dog crawling under the veranda to die…
The almighty Kira, dying like a dog. What a joke. Light laughed, couched some blood, and laughed again. A dog, a simple, insignificant dog. Who would have thought it would end like this?
He was so tired, so very tired. Light barely felt any pain anymore, he just felt empty. He faltered towards the staircase. His legs gave in, but he managed the crawl up the stairs. There, he lay down on his back, sweating and shivering. His breathing was slow and grating. He stared off into space, seeing nothing.
A shadow flew through the air, and somewhere outside a crow made a scratchy sound. A vague silhouette appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Light blinked with his eyes, amazed, and the silhouette became more concrete. It was a young man with raven hair, dark, piercing eyes, a very pale skin and an odd posture. He was wearing a white shirt and a shabby blue pair of pants. The man was staring at Light with mild interest.
L… Is this for real?
"You look like a mess," the ghost- like and probably imaginary L spoke with a casual voice.
"L… I- Is that really you? What are you doing here?"
"Just observing you, like I always do."
Light huffed. "I should have known. And, do you like what you see? I'm broken, defeated, humiliated. In the end you've won. And you did it without even being here," Light said bitterly.
"Well, I think it's safe to say neither of us has won."
Light remained silent for a moment. "Maybe you're right. No, you're probably right. Because you were always right… You've been right about me from the start. I am Kira." Light smiled a joyless smile."I'm Kira. Kira, Kira, Kira… The judge, the executioner, the god."
"You are no god, just a very troubled boy. In the end you were just Light Yagami, an unfortunate young man that got his hands on a very dangerous notebook, nothing more and nothing less."
Light faintly smirked. "Just Light, huh? Correct again, I suppose. A god would have not made the mistakes I have. Those two wannabe's didn't defeat me because they were so clever, they defeated me because I was careless. It's my own fault I'm lying here in my own blood, dying a pathetic death."
"True. You have indeed been careless; you weren't focused. The Light I knew was better than this."
Light didn't fail to hear the respect in his voice. No, it was more than that.
"It's because you weren't around anymore. You were always watching my every step from the shadows, it was you that kept me on the edge. Life was boring after you died. Empty. Lonely." Light's voice started to tremble a bit. "But I- I had no choice. I needed to get rid of you, for the sake of the new world. You understand that, don't you?" Light looked at L with a pleading glance in his eyes. "My arch enemy, my equal, my friend…" Tears were burning in Light's eyes. "You would have caught me, you had to die!" L nodded and Light let his head rest on the staircase. He exhaled, tasting fresh blood on the back of his tongue, and continued to speak. "But in the end I just shot myself in the foot. I couldn't live with or without you."
"You couldn't live with or without me… Pretty deep words, my friend, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You've always loved to talk…" Another moment of silence. L rubbed his neck and stared at his feet. "You know, Light … I have to admit I have been feeling rather lost without you myself. After all you were my one and only friend. And now we'll be together again, arch enemies joined together forever in death. Pretty ironic, isn't it?"
"Yeah… Ironic…" Light raised his head again looked L in the eye. "I don't know anything about life after death, let one if something like that even exists in the first place, but whatever happens I'm sure I won't end up at the same place as you. We're to different sides of a coin, we're like night and day… Heaven and hell."
"Two sides of a coin, that's a quite well formulated metaphor. But those two sides together form a coin that is unique in its kind. We're bond together, Light, we always have. You won't go anywhere without me."
"So… you'll stay with me to the end?"
"To the end."
Light closed his eyes. Darkness embraced him. "Thank you, L"
"No need to thank me. You know I love you, Light. I always have." L's voice whispered in Light's ear through the darkness.
"I… love you too… Lawliet." Light's lips formed the words with his last bit of strength. The darkness that was wrapped around him, that pressed on his chest like a heavy rock, was washed away by a bright white light. There was no more pain and no more thoughts. Light could swear somebody was holding his hand. Sweet lips brushed his. One last heartbeat, in the distance a bell rang. A drop of blood fell from the edge of the staircase, black crows spread their wings and became one with the air. Light opened his mouth and let his last breath escape his throat.
Well, I hope you liked it. I would really appreciate it if you'd leave a review and share your thoughts about this little one-shot, but no pressure… ;-)
xoxo
ps: I apologize for any grammer/style mistakes. English is not my first language but I've tried my best to make this fic as linguistically correct as possible.