Sitting at a bar, opposite a drunken Copy Ninja, was not a situation that Guy found himself in very often. Yet, it did occur and for different reasons.
Sometimes it was due a stressful or failed mission, other times it was due to past demons attacking his Rivals conscious. Tonight the reason was…..
He had no idea.
He had been on his way back from a meeting with the Hokage and had been walking past the bar when he noticed silver out of the corner of his eye.
Upon making his way over he noticed the empty, brown bottles and instead of loudly pronouncing his presence and challenging the other, he did a very 'unyouthful' thing.
He simply sat down. Not saying a word. The other did not even notice.
That was half an hour and three bottles of sake` ago.
Something was wrong. Very wrong.
"Kakashi?"
Nothing.
"Kakashi."
Slate blinks and looks at him. He won't ask what's wrong. He's told when the other feels ready.
"I think you've had enough. I'll take you home."
"….." Another blink. "Okay," the hoarse reply, the first thing he said all night.
No attempt to move is made, so the green clad man moves first.
The silver haired man goes to follow…but fails. If it weren't for the large, tanned hands that caught him under his arms he would've have split his head open on the corner of the table.
Intoxicated, he can feel his arm going around broad shoulders, and a hand around his back, but he can't find the strength to open his eyes.
They are walking. That much he knows.
Shoes scrape dirt as he is guided, staggering, to his house.
Lifting his head he looks at the other….and chuckles.
Bushy brow rises but says nothing.
The single door opens to a single apartment, in which a single bed stands.
Falling, let go, he lands face first on the bed. He is expected to fall asleep now. He always does when this happens. Hell, he wants to.
Tonight he's just full of surprises.
Hands push him up, shaking, to sit on the edge of the bed. Head bowed, shadow covers his eyes, hair falls over his face. Slumped shoulders place his hands lax in his lap.
Wood dragging across wood, and Guy is sitting opposite him. Elbows on his knees, hands clasped, shoulders straight and eyes filled with worry, framed by furrowed brows.
They sit like that for what feels like hours.
'The silence is deafening' he thinks. It makes him laugh again, his chin bumping his chest as his body shakes causing silver to swing in front of closed eyes.
Now Guy is more than concerned. He can feel something dark, but not foreign fill his gut. He knows exactly was it is.
Fear.
Of what Kakashi will do next. Do to him.
Last time they were like this and 'unprompted hilarity' had its way from Kakashi, Guy had found himself with a shattered piece of ANBU mask in his shoulder with a black and red eyed man sitting on his chest, laughing like the mad man he had been.
That was years ago, and he was hoping that that particular phase had passed.
A sob broke his thoughts.
Moonlight reflected in the small drops that had fallen.
Maybe this was one of those occasions where demons decided to plague his Rival.
"Kakashi… Kakashi look at me," softly as he could, trying to coax the slowly breaking man to raise his head. To look at him. To look anywhere but in on himself and the past that kept catching up with him.
Shaggy hair shook.
"Please?"
Forceful shakes, a quiet, "No."
Black hair stirs as he sighs. Tilting his head he tries to look under the hair created veil that hides Kakashi's face.
"We've been here before, and you know it's not yo…"
"Thank you."
"What?" he's not used to being interrupted during these moments. Usually it's a curse telling him to leave or something more physical…violent.
But this…was unexpected.
"I never thanked you," a sniff cuts through the barely audible announcement, "so thank you."
Despite how hard his mind tries to make sense of it, he can't think of anything. Perhaps Kakashi genius mind had finally caved in on itself?
Attentively, while also curious, he gently asks, "For what?"
"For getting me out."
And it all hurtles into place.
This was about That mission. Just thinking about it made his mouth taste of bile. Carrying Kakashi out of that hell hole had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He can still see the looks on Sakura and Naruto's faces when they had first seen him, like it was yesterday.
But the Hokage herself said that Kakashi was, as she put it "as physically and as mentally healthy as Kakashi could be". Then again Kakashi was the master of lies amongst a sea of them.
Well shit!
Looking up again to the other, eyes still hidden, he continues so speak.
"I should've died down there. I should've died with the rest of them. I deserve to."
"No you don't."
Venom laced words pierce his ears. "Yes I do. I lead them there and I got them caught. I heard them screaming…I heard them go quiet. I screwed up. Again."
His cheeks were wet now, Guy could tell. He could also tell that this had been bottling up inside of Kakashi for a while now. It wasn't healthy for him to do so and he knew that. Then again he himself had tried to forget about it. He trained harder, went on more challenging missions, trying to distract himself, which wasn't much better.
Pure will was all that stopped his voice from quivering, "The mission was botched from the beginning. It wasn't ranked as it should've been. It happens and there is nothing that you can do about it. You know that, just like how you know that it wasn't your fault. None of it has been you fault"
"YES IT IS", came the hysterical response. "YES IT IS! I KILLED THEM. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO DIE! I SHOULD HAVE SAVED THEM! I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT DIFFERENTLY. I SHOULD BE DEAD!
Flesh hitting flesh and the chair hitting the floor echoed though out the tiny room. The heavy, angered breaths of a beast were the only sound that remained.
"Living a life full of 'should haves' will not bring them back. Neither will you dieing."
He knew the Copy Ninja was drunk, he knew he needed to stop talking or he would say something he would later regret. However he was too full of rage at this point to care.
"They are gone Kakashi. Obito, Rin, Minato and those from That mission. No matter what you say or do they will never come back. Do you want to die that much? Do you have that miserable of an opinion of yourself?"
Clashing eyes looked into his own. Scornful. Loathing.
Yet they hardly mattered as tear after tear fell down a cerise stained cheek. "Fuck you."
Grabbing at the others shoulders, he forced the other to him. Sobs met his chest, as guilt welled up inside of it.
Muttering into hair that now enclosed his vision, "No. Fuck you. You and your stupid survivor's guilt and the stupid amount of alcohol you had and what ever other stupid stuff is wrong with you."
Sobs where briefly hushed by a feeble scoff. Knees gave way.
The floor creaked as he sat down, rocking, his torso still occupied.
"I need to die first."
"Not this again. Didn't we just go over this?"
Sitting up, glazed, wide eyes looked at him with such uncharacteristic innocence, like those of a child. The alcohol was doing its job, that was for sure.
"No. I need to die first. I keep thinking about everything and what would have happened if you hadn't been there for me. What I would be like, if I'd even be alive? But I'd prefer to die then have it be you. I mean can you imagine how screwed up I'd be if you died? If it was you that had been in that room?"
More tears began to fall, his own eyes stung. He could imagine what Kakashi would be like if he wasn't around. He'd seen Kakashi at his terrifyingly, gruesome worst. But he was always there to make sure he snapped out of it. Despite the harm that could come to himself.
Had come to himself.
"Kakashi….you know no one could defeat the beautiful Green Beast of Kohona. I will always be here to challenge my Eternal Rival."
Funny what the right words can do. A sloppy smile, small but defiantly a smile.
His chest was then once again occupied.
Steady breathing soon met his ears. The emotional outpouring and sake` had finally exhausted the other.
"Thank you to who ever pulled that off. I'm too old for this."
As carefully as the day he had carried the bleeding man not that long ago, he now used the same care to lift him onto the bed, placing him on top of the covers. He was still fully clothed, aside from the mask he just realised. It had been off the whole time!
Orange light filtered through the window. A beautiful morning had just begun.
Pale white was beginning to bruise. Wincing he looked at the other.
And turned to leave.
He hesitated at the door. Sighing he closed the door, walking back to bed, pushed its occupant to the side and squeezed himself onto the other small half.
Said occupant grumbled something un-comprehendible.
" Yeah yeah," turning so he was facing the other he let his eyes drift shut.
I hate the ending, but it was the best one out of like ten ^_^'. Sad right?