Edward's Fault

Disclaimer: - Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and everything in it. I wrote this story strictly for fun. Its a short foul mouthed little ditty and hopefully doesn't piss to many people off because it's all in fun. (Even if the topic is more angst ridden then fun)

Author's Note – I haven't given up on my other story. Emmett just caught me in a whim of writer's block and wanted a story featuring him. Who was I to deny such a request.

I plan this to be a small one chapter little ditty.

Sorry about the language – Emmett made me do it.

*******

This was all fucking Edward's fault.

"Emmett, will you please just come here and look at him?"

I cringed internally, listening to Rosalie's pathetic plea. Rose just didn't beg for anything, so believe me, listening to her now was ripping my fucking heart out. You just didn't take shit, like Rosalie practically begging, lightly. It was like a sign of the Apocalypse or something.

Fucking Edward.

Mr. Sensitivity.

Mr. Family Man.

Mr. I-Get-Everything-I-Want-and-Everything-I-Didn't-Know-I-Wanted.

I can almost guarantee, Edward didn't even think about Rosalie when he and Bella just picked up and left to become more independent. I have to wonder, did it even raise a question in his pretty-boy little head as to how Rose might handle being separated from Nessie?

I suppose this could all be the dog's influence on him.

And Bella, fuck me, Rose practically waited on her hand and foot throughout her pregnancy, despite everyone objections. I thought Bella would feel a little more indebted to my wife and her feelings. Fuck, Rosalie's devotion to that little fetus Nessie almost ended us. And the strain her devotion forever put on the relationship between Rosalie and Carlisle . . .

Carlisle, oh fuck me fuckmefuckmefuckme, the shit was going to hit the fan when Carlisle eventually came home from the hospital, unless. . .unless I could convince her to take that. . . that baby in her arms back to wherever it came from.

"Rose. . .baby. . .where did you get that?"

"That? Emmett you don't refer to your son as that."

My stomach flopped and dropped as I watched Rosalie, eyes lit up like a god damn kid at Christmas, begin to rock back and forth, the things in her arms quieting at the soothing motion.

It had been two hours since Rosalie's return trip from her solo hunt, two hours since she had walked through the door with that . . .that human in her arms. Two hours since Rose's sanity had obviously taken a permanent hiatus.

At the time of her arrival home, those precious two hours ago, I had immediately smelled the little rug rat from where I was shooting hoops, and quickly ran up to see what the deal was.

I had. . . at the time. . . assumed there was a logical explanation.

I had, at the time, assumed wrong.

Rosalie had turned around in the doorway, once she had sensed me behind her. She had turned and, fuck me, she practically glowed as she smiled this 1000 watt shit eating grin. Because I am a dumb shit, I had forgotten the snack pack in her arms, momentarily blinded by how god damn happy she was. I thought I was going to be stuck with, and all prepared to be stuck with, Bitchy Rose for awhile, thanks to my brother and his fucking happy ending. I was thrilled beyond words with the appearance of Happy Rose. (Didn't hurt that Happy Rose usually brought her alter ego Horney Rose with her).

I was so thrilled by this unexpected change in my baby girl's personality, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against Rose's lips, shoving my tongue down her throat in the process. Okay, I'm not my brother (either brother actually), I'm not all romantic gestures and words, but after all these years Rose knew that, I wasn't going to change.

Besides Rose ate up that caveman shit, having been burned in her past by the refined asshole approach.

But today, she had pulled away from my physical attack. At first I was pissed by her rejection, getting ready to go track down my brother and drag him back home by his outlandish hair to fix this shit, (you can't just take Horney Rose away from a guy before she has even came out to play), but then I again spotted the little miniature person in Rose's arm.

"Whose that Rosie?"

She hated when I called her Rosie, she said it was so common, so I expected a verbal tongue lashing rivaling no other. But nothing came. Instead, my Rose had bent down and pulled away the blue blanket that was covering the child's head away, revealing a little baby boy no more than likely three or four months. A baby with olive color skin and a mop of curly black hair.

This was bad. I knew my baby and I knew my baby's affections for dark haired babies.

This was really bad, especially the timing, with Nessie's departure only days ago.

"Rose. . .honey?"

I watched Rose and realized that 1000 watt grin had an almost worshipfulness look about it. I know what people said, but contrary to popular belief, Rose wasn't shallow. Rose had massive depth, if someone took the time to get past the carefully constructed defense mechanisms she had in place to keep herself from getting hurt again. Her cockiness, her vanity, her self assured bitch attitude wasn't the only things about her, they were just the traits thats usually scared people away from really getting to know her.

I knew her, really knew her, because she had a natural soft spot for me. Because of the way I looked, because I reminded her of a happier time in her past, she took to me and let me through the defensive shit to show me the real Rosalie. She had me changed into a vampire all those years ago because I looked like what she had determined to be the ideal man and I had repaid her with my everlasting devotion (because fuck heaven itself couldn't have babes like her there. In all my years I've never encountered someone so utterly tantalizing as she).

Now, she was holding an infant who had the same look. The ideal finishing touch to her perfect family.

She wouldn't have thought a perfect family could be possible until Edward had achieved it. Edward had gotten everything Rose ever wanted. . .and now. . .

Now I was starting at my beautiful vampire wife holding a stolen human baby.

Fucking Edward. Couldn't have stayed, couldn't have let us share in his happiness?

"Rose, that's not our baby."

I heard a hiss escape those perfect red lips.

"Why?"

She really was so heartbreakingly beautiful right now, her bottom lip jutted out just a tad out from her top lip, her perfect button nose angled up just marginally farther then normal, her posture screamed Momma bear. . .and I love bears. . .bears. . .

Shit, I have to focus. I have to get his kid outta here and back to his home before Carlisle came back from the hospital and had Rose committed. (Wherever you fucking committed crazy vampires – he would know.)

The more I looked at the kid, and it was hard not to because he was a cute little thing, the more I wanted to say he was a neighbor (which would explain how Rose obtained him). . .fuck if the kid didn't kinda look like me.

"Rose, honey, this baby has a home, has a family and we ain't it." I found my hand going to her arm to rub it soothingly up and down.

I also touched her to see how skittish she was. If I could touch her, maybe I could grab the kid. I didn't really want to take the kid from her, I kinda like my life and all, but if I had to. . .

"He could be,"

Damn if Rose didn't look at me all coyly through her long blond eyelashes. She was pulling out all the stops now. Fucking Helpless Rose, she was a personality that hardly came out to visit. She was a personality I was immediately drawn to simply because she was so out of the norm and had a tendency to play up to my need to be the alpha male (which every other Rosalie personality usual kneed in the groin to keep at bay).

"Rose."

"Emmett, I found this baby. Baby Emmett was our gift from God, because we have been good."

Fuck me.

"Rosalie, did you. . .kill the parents?"

A look crossed Rosalie's face at my question and I wanted with every fiber of my being to believe she looked horrified by my accusations. I really truly wanted her to slap me and tell me to go to hell. I really really truly wanted her to tell me to fuck off and ask what the hell was I inferring?

Instead she just smirked, a cold, calculating, predatory look, "Come on Daddy, I think its time for our own happy ending."

Fucking beautiful Rosalie, with the golden hair, had veered off our path of righteousness, I was almost sure. Beautiful Rosalie, clutching at the bundle in her arms as if her existence depended on it, was going to hell and because I'm a dumb devoted shit, I was going with her.

Fucking Edward . . .this was all his fucking fault.