"Be quiet or he'll hear," Amanda hissed. Spock froze in his tracks.

"He will not," Sarek argued, "He is outside playing travaball with Surlek. You know you have to call him for an average of five minutes, thirty-three seconds before he comes inside when he is engaged in such activies."

What Sarek didn't know was that Spock, with his human ancestry had trouble keeping up with his friends, and would sometimes come inside for needless snacks to take a rest. He had been polishing off some cookies that the maid had brought out for him when he'd heard the crash.

"Still, there's no need to damage furniture," Amanda scolded.

Damage furniture? Could there ever be a logical reason to damage furniture? Ever curious, Spock crept closer to his parents' room and hid behind the door. At the grand age of eight, Spock considered himself to be the master of the house, and despite the expressed concern, did not believe that there was anything that occurred in it that he didn't have the right to know about.

Looking through the crack in the door, Spock saw his parents standing naked next to an upended chair. This was nothing he hadn't seen before—when he was younger, he'd loved the shower and had stripped and run to join whoever was in it whenever he'd heard it running. But what logical reason could there be for nudity in the middle of the afternoon? His parents didn't look dirty.

"It is not damaged," Sarek protested, picking the chair up.

As he leaned over, Spock noticed something else. His father's dinky, as his mother called it, wasn't the way it normally was in the shower. And he knew his own dinky was also like that sometimes. His parents were strict about what movies he watched, but were fairly lax on reading material, so recently, he had looked it up when they weren't watching. Multiple sources had confirmed that the change was related to reproduction. The human puberty book had said that his body was 'practising'.

So his parents were making a baby. Spock was simultaneous please with his leap of logic and miffed that his parents hadn't consulted with him before making such an important decision.

"I just don't see the need to knock things over in the first place," his mother's voice rang out.

Spock decided that it would be best to stay and observe. Cleary, the books he had read had given him some misinformation. None had stated that reproduction required so much banter.

"I miscalculated," Sarek said defensively. Amanda walked up to him and put her hands on his shoulder. She licked around the edges of his ear and whispered,

"I don't think you miscalculate very often."

He leaned forward and licked circles around her nipple.

This bothered Spock. While he knew his mother did strange things sometimes, he considered his father to be the pinnacle of logic. He couldn't figure out what the logical reason could be for this action. He noticed that his father's dinky seemed bigger now. He wondered if the two were somehow related.

Spock watched as his father effortlessly picked his mother up and put her down on the bed. He ran his hands up and down her body. She must be cold, Spock surmised, but he wondered how he had known and why he didn't use the blankets.

Sarek put his hand between Amanda's legs and stroked for awhile. He tried to figure out the purpose of this, but then was distracted by his mother's face, which seemed entranced. Then, to his horror, his father dragged his lips down his mother's torso, and began to lick between her legs.

For a minute, Spock considered jumping out and explaining that they were doing it all wrong, but then he realized that in order to have been born, his parents must have been able to do something right, although not without the help of several laboratory scientists.

Thankfully, his mother said,

"That's enough," and his father resumed his original position.

Maybe his mother had realized that he was doing it wrong, and was trying to correct him? Spock figured that it was possible that his father made mistakes, although he didn't quite believe it.

Sarek bore down on Amanda, and Spock was relieved to see that they had managed to connect the right organ with the right organ.

Spock watched calmly until his mother began making noises. He worried that his father might be hurting her, and was shocked to see him cover her mouth and start going harder, the exact opposite of the logical reaction. Her legs began shaking, and Spock worried that he was smothering her, but then, he went limp and released her. And much to his surprise, his mother started smiling at his father, and making scolding expressions with her fingers.

Hearing the maid walking towards the kitchen, Spock crept downstairs and continued with his cookies. He decided it to keep what he'd seen a secret, as he thought it might be wrong to have sneaked around.

This lasted for two days. Immensely bothered by the logical incongruencies, he cornered his mother after breakfast.

"Mother, I was wondering if I could ask a question," he asked.

"Of course, dear," she replied.

"Forty hours, five minutes ago, I observed you and father naked and in bed, engaging in activities that I had not before observed. Am correct in surmising that you were attempting to reproduce?"

Amanda looked unnerved.

"Yes," she said finally. But then she got a bit of a twinkle in her eye,

"But you have to realize that it is quite difficult for a human and a Vulcan to make a baby, so it is likely we didn't succeed."

Spock considered this.

"Perhaps you should read Schalt's Vulcan Biology or Koomber's Human Anatomy," he suggested, "I found them very informative on the subject."

"Thank you," Amanda said, "I will try that."

She seemed to be biting her tongue.

"I have another question," Spock continued, "I observed some actions that I could not determine a logical purpose for. Why did you lick father's ear? Why did he put his mouth on your privates? And why did you make such unusual facial expressions while he did it?"

Spock thought his mother looked rather pink.

"You'll understand when you're older," she stated after awhile.

"You mean that more advanced levels of logical reasoning are required to understand these actions?"

"Yes," Amanda answered.

She was biting her tongue again.

A/N: This was done for the following prompt:

The only vulcan/human sex Spock has ever witnessed (accidentally of course) are his mom and dad. But since he's Vulcan he didn't (admit) getting grossed out by it, he watched curiously, questioned them later, and of course, filed what he saw away.

...Later he uses what he remembers with Nyota.

Part II will be posted when I think of it :)