Hi! Thankfully, this is not a HP death story... it's still depressing though. Four dies in an accident and Tris is devastated. *TRIGGER WARNING!!!!* this contains graphic depictions of suicide. Please leave constructive criticism/praise. This will probably be 2-3 chapters.
Love, Me!
It's the stolen moments, really. The moments I get with Four are precious. The stolen kisses in the Dauntless hallways, the glances during mealtime. Of course, we're not a secret, but the secrets we have are private, romantic, and ours. When I first met Four, I was fresh out of Abnegation, I had just landed in a net, free-falling. I had been the first to jump. I felt his warm hand on my leg, saw the surprise in his face at my gray clothes and I knew, I knew.
He was cold at first. His walls were up and he was playing himself off as the chief Dauntless, the cool guy. But I helped take that down. With me, he isn't Four, the fearless soldier. He's my Four, he has scars that run deep, and conflictions within himself. He's funny and compassionate. And I love him more than anything else. My Abnegation side comes out around him, I'd do anything for him. I can imagine a life with him.
Every day he practices with the new additions. Most of the time they're from Amity and Abnegation, so they don't know how to fight. I spend a lot of time by myself. Christina is busy a lot too, busy with Will. I spend hours just wandering around, thinking. When I practice, it's with Christina. She always uses spears so it's easy to beat her. She's repetitive, she uses the same moves over and over. It's going to get her killed someday.
Since I spend so much time alone, I get lost sometimes. Not lost in reality, but in my mind. I wonder what would happen if something changed. Life in Dauntless is surprising and often terrifying but it's the same every day at its heart. I imagine tragedy, war. I imagine what would happen if anything out of our comfort zones happens.
The sound of the rushing river is a comfort, despite the trauma that's associated with it, and the guilt. Despite the fact that the river hides secrets and skeletons. I love the sound of the water, and the mystery. I wonder what the river is hiding a lot.
It's dinner time right now. I'm sitting with Christina and Will. Peter is at the table across and if looks could kill, the smell of death would surround him, as well as the bodies of every single person in Dauntless. He's in a murderous mood and I know exactly why. It's not my fault that I'm better than him. He's a prodigy at fighting, really. But I can beat him now, I work harder than him, and that's the truth. I'll have to watch out for him now though. If he wasn't afraid to stab Edward in the eye to be on the top I can't imagine that he respects me.
I can see Four in the distance. His face is bloody from fighting, but his eyes are still gleaming, and he gave me a lopsided grin when his eyes landed on me. He took a seat next to me and gave me a peck on the cheek. We've been together for a while and everyone knows it, but it still takes me by surprise when he kisses me in public. I felt my face and neck flush as Christina burst out laughing, "Jeez, Tris! I would have thought you had a schoolgirl crush, not that you're in a relationship! When is it gonna get normal for you?" Her eyes are alight with mirth, but it's a real question, "Am I ever going to accept that I got the best boyfriend ever?" I laughed with her, "Christina, don't even start!" And with that I leaned over and kissed Four right on the mouth. "THERE!" Christina and Will look over at each other and theres a moment of silence until they both double over with laughter, tears streaming down their faces.
That night:
I'm on Four's bed, his arm wrapped around my waist. We're just cuddling, it's not sexual or anything, but still I whisper, "I love you," his eyes meet mine, and any doubt that I had goes flying out the window. He doesn't say anything back to me, but his lips meet mine in a soft kiss. We fell asleep like that, our foreheads touching, enveloped in a bubble of love.
The next morning:
When I wake up, Four is already gone. He has work to do. I slowly get up, and realize that I'm still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. I change quickly and walk to the river again. I'm not hungry. I wish what me and Four had last night could last forever. Just us, in our own world. Sighing, I get up. Four isn't the only one with work to do. I have to practice. I'm surprised when I get to the armory and Four isn't there. He almost always is.
Everything needs sharpening, so I sit down on the uncomfortable steel stool and get to work. I'm just finishing the last spear when I check my watch. I'm shocked to see how many hours had passed. I spent all day doing chores, and I have no time left to practice. I'm just walking down to get dinner when I see Christina walking toward me.
Her face is white as paper, and she's shaking.
"What?" I ask something is obviously wrong with her.
"Tris, there's been an accident," she says
This chapter had nothing graphic, but the next one DEFINITELY will, so if you're not in a good place for that, please, please don't read it!! Thanks!