4. Rubber Bands and Playpens
Rude glared into his laptop; again, he was doing it again, and again, and again, and agai– "Reno! Get back to work."
A pair of smelly socked feet clomped on the desk top was his only response.
Rude's eye twitched as the thirtieth rubber band smacked him in the left temple. Again.
Reno could almost hear the metamorphical ice cracking beneath him, but unlike most people who would take a step back and run for safety, Reno grinned devilishly.
Zwap!
Smack!
"Reno!" Rude was staring right at him now.
"What, yo?"
"Stop it."
Zwap! "Stop what, yo?"
Smack! "That." Rude said unable to keep the growl from his voice as the missile whacked him in the forehead.
Reno grinned as he admired the perfectly circular welt on his partners brow. "Y'know Rude, with that welt in your head, you look like Tseng on a hot day."
"Reno." Rude was standing now, his shoulders hunched and his digits flexing, making him look every bit the scary bar-bouncer he had once been.
"Like he gets all red in the head like a thermometer! The only difference being that your darker and your eyes aren't as squinty, yo."
Rude's eye twitched as he watched Reno select another hated band and lazily attach it to his finger.
Zwap!
The elastic gave Rude a stinging welt on the ear, promptly to get tangled in his earrings as the large man let out a bellow of rage. His well honed and polished professionalism shattering, Reno had just stomped on his last good nerve.
Reno flew out of his seat and quickly disappeared through the cubicle door, firing a parting shot as Rude once again bashed a hole in their office wall.
...
Reeve Tuesti had taken up botany, judging by the jungle-like appearance of his spacious office and the the not-so-innocent stacks of books towering over his head. Leaning back in his chair, enjoyed the smell off fresh churned earth and luxurious greens as he sipped at his coffee.
It was a quiet day, an uncommon occurrence in the ShinRa Electric Power Company, and quiet days were always something the top Engineer tried to take advantage of.
Cait Sithe purred in the corner.
"Ah yes, there is nothing better than to lounge in one's office with a fresh cup of coffee surrounded by glorious plants on a blissfully warm, quiet..."
Slam!
Oh yes, there is definitely nothing better than to quickly divert disaster by finding someone else to help the poetry loving SOLDIER 1st Class Commander. Reeve corrected silently, almost allowing himself to scowl and grumble at Genesis' unwanted interruption.
But like all good employees of the ShinRa Electric Power Company, Reeve didn't let it singe him as instead beamed sunshine on the visitor, much to his eternal credit. "Hello Commander Rhapsodos! Beautiful day isn't it. What can I do for you?"
Genesis humphed in response as he glided in with a shoe box tucked carefully under his arm.
Plonking himself into a chair, Genesis placed the shoe box by his feet. They would be safe there for a few moments. "You can help me by making a caged in playpen."
The mug of coffee halted an inch from Reeve's mouth, had he heard that right? Not really sure if he wanted to know, but double checking nonetheless, tried to put on his best professional air. "A caged playpen?"
"Correct. I want the bars to be a half centimeter in width. Wooden bridges, an entire, usable swing set, a tall slide, and carpeted floor."
"But Commander, if your looking for a hamster cage, you only have to go to a pet stor..."
"It's not for hamsters!" Genesis roared into the unfortunate man's face.
Pushing his chair farther back, Reeve's hand sought the comforting grip of his handgun, which he always kept loaded with high level paralysis capsules, should the need ever arise.
"Okay. However,I believe I might be able to make such a thing better if I knew the reason for it, and what is meant to go in it, Commander." Reeve said calmly, moving his hand from his carefully hidden gun to a pen.
Frowning in displeasure at the prospect, Genesis hesitatingly reiterated the whole shrinking fiasco in his own shortened version. Not even noticing that the shoe box now lay empty by his feet, being that his entire attention was on the engineer who's expression was growing more and more incredulous by the minute.
Sephiroth climbed up Genesis' pant leg, so that he could listen to their conversation in the comforting confines of the redhead's coat pocket.
While Zack got the brainy idea of playing safari in the fern bed, dragging the hapless Cloud with him; Angeal, pausing in his assent of Genesis' boot, groaned when seeing the wayward pair. Abandoning Sephiroth to get squished alone in the pocket's depths was something that Angeal would prefer over the chaos that those youngsters would inevitably cause, and so SOLDIER 1st Class Commander Hewley trudged off to the fern bed in pursuit.
The sound of the pen scratching across paper filled the room as Reeve finished jotting down Commander Rhapsodos' bizarre tale, his eyebrow quirked in skeptical analysis, there was noway he was going to believe it without proof. "Commander, I have heard many a strange tale, but none as bizarre as this. Now I am still quite willing to construct your 'playpen', however I would appreciate some proof so that I know for certain, that I'm not just wasting my time." Reeve said as he lifted his watering can to his largest and most favorite fern.
"Aaaiiieeee! I'm melting!"
"Help! Mercy! Not the colored water! I'm dying! Stop watering me! Stop watering me! Please, please, PLEASE!"
"You two stop being so childish and move! Or do you want to get even more wet!"
Reeve dropped the watering can in surprise, leaping back from the shaking bush as it squeaked in three different voices, colliding into a cursing Genesis who was trying to fight past him.
Reeve cried in dismay as he was tossed against the desk. His side aching in protest to the harsh treatment as he slid to the carpeted floor, back resting against the side, a creaking, sliding sound came from behind him. Slowly turning his face skyward, paled as a monstrous shadow fell over him. It was then that Reeve Tuesti, Chief Engineer of Urban Development in the ShinRa Electric Power Company did the one thing he swore long ago never to do. Scream like a little girl as he was buried in an avalanche of innocent texts depicting smiley faced flowers and happy trees waving fans.
His foot twitched.
Cait Sithe purred.
Genesis grabbed his three drenched chicks from the plant bot, pausing only a second to cast an apologetic look towards the Engineer, before dashing the thought of helping the poor man from his mind and hurrying out of the office, closing the door behind him.
The books tumbled off the top as Reeve's head poked from his near grave with a black eye and mournful sigh. "Oh yes, my lovely, quiet, summer day.. I need a vacation." And made himself a mental note to tell his secretary, should Genesis Rhapsodos even step foot on their residential floor, to call him in advance so that he could shoot himself with a tranquilizer.\
...
Zack wiped at the green liquid stubbornly clinging to his face, sticking his tongue out in a disgusted fashion. "Blah! What is this stuff! It's gross!"
Cloud wrinkled his nose, "It smells gross too."
Angeal planted his face in his palms. "It's called Liquid Plant Food that you mix in with water, it's like a nutrition shot, Zack."
"Great! Now I've got a plant's lunch all over me! And my boxers are now totally soaked, how are we gonna get this stuf– hey, Angeal? Why is my skin tingling?" Zack's voice took on a panicked note.
"Tingling?" Angeal stared blankly at the now green puppy.
"My skin isn't tingling." Cloud observed.
"Yeah it's tingling! Why is it doing that Angeal? Why?" the puppy begged, his voice rising an octave.
"Probably beca–."
"Because your skin must like it. Tell me, Zack Fair, are you planning on growing roots anytime soon?" Sephiroth butted in sarcastically, his lips twisting in a self-important smirk.
"WHAT? YOU MEAN I'M TURNING INTO A PLANT! ANGEAL! DO SOMETHING! SAVE ME, PLEEEAAAASE!" Zack wailed, his voice hitting the high bar as he shook Angeal by his shirt-collar.
Sephiroth tactfully plugged his ears as he watched the amusing spectacle from the sidelines. While Cloud began to look a little worried, was it possible? Would he turn into a plant too?
Angeal's neck cracked painfully as he was given another round of whiplash. "Ack! Zack! Just calm down!" he yelped, fighting to gain control of the teenager's madly swinging arms.
Cloud crouched in the corner hugging himself.
Sephiroth grinned evilly as Zack broke down into hysterics on his mentors shoulder. It was payback time.
Cloud hyperventilated.
The box jerked, sending three of the occupants to crash into the panicked blond, squishing him to near complete flatness.
Genesis placed the shoe box on the bathroom counter, flipping the lid open and fishing all four out in a flash. Placing them in the sink, turned the faucet on hot, washing away the green coating instantly, while the smell, well, that was going to have to wear off over time.
They already had their converted face cloth towels, so Genesis hurried to the living room where a very important phone call and a priceless, nerve soothing book was waiting for him.
"When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end the goddess descends from the sky."
...
Elastic bands flew through the air as Reno leapt for cover behind the fake palm tree.
Rude grunted when he was slapped bang on the nose. Tseng flinched as two just clipped his ear, while Elena yelped as she was smacked on the bottom.
Three manly grunts of surprise and pain sounded in the distance, followed by a shrill yodeling as someone was stung once in the rear and twice in the head.
Crashing ensued mere seconds before Cissnei rounded the corner like a maddened bull, three elastic missiles in hand. "Alright! I've had it! You want to fight Reno? Then we'll fight!" the auburn haired Turk snarled as she strung the rubber rings on her fingers, firing them off in quick succession. Only to be rewarded moments later with three yelps of pain from the redheaded menace.
Reno wasn't the only master of elastic band missiles.
Rubber bands flew everywhere.
Rude punched through a cubicle wall, upending the desk as he snatched the desired ammunition. Elena did a ninja thing as she seemed to hop in and out as she went over the walls, and Tseng seemed to levitate over the cubicles.
Reno lunged into an office space, and landed on his back as he was chucked right back out. Katana was not a man to mess with. Reno took off round the corner with said man hot on his tail who was shooting rubber missiles four at a time.
Cissnei vaulted over Rude, darted past Elena, rounded the corner and ran smack into Katana, Reno having done a perfect ballerina imitation and gone right over her.
"Catch me if you can, yo!" Reno whooped before barging into another office and landing right on top of Gun. He gasped in horror before being smacked in the face with a rolled up news-paper. He took off at a gallop, praying to Holy that he had not just incurred the hellish wrath of Gun.
Apparently Holy was taking a nap.
Gun was a tall busty Turk with a voice just meant to command an army, compelling every and all occupant on the floor to rise to her rallying call of "Up! Up everyone! This is war! Go, go, go!" And within moments, the entire floor dissolved into flying rubber bands, yelps, shouts, and utter chaos.
They would catch Reno yet! Gun and Cissnei were determined.