Mistakes: Broken Dreams, Broken Heart
By: Nisch
Disclaimer: I do not own Nana.
I am in my own world. Ensconced in the deeper chasms of my mind. Deep inside, I'm bleeding. My heart is crying out. I'm losing my senses… I'm falling deeper… and deeper into the darkness.
It's too much; I think my heart can't take this anymore. All the pain and the suffering make me want to explode.
I don't know when it happened, why or how. But maybe I do remember. I just want to fool myself in believing that it didn't occur.
It's so hard to justify my behavior, leaving the person I love to be with another man just because he is more capable of providing for my needs seems selfish, but is it selfishness that led me to this action or merely maternal instinct?
I did it for her future. I want her to grow up comfortably and I don't want to cheat him. I know that whatever I say he would believe but can I honestly bear to see his face when he finds out that the child isn't his? It's unfair to him. So we broke up.
It was hard because I truly care for him. I love Nobu with all my heart but he can't be deluded. I'm not an innocent girl. I'm selfish and greedy. That is why Takumi and I are perfect for each other. He can give me warmth; he can hold me in his arms even though he doesn't love me. He knows I love Nobu but still he accepted me and I should be grateful that someone will provide for my child.
I have a simple dream— that is to have my own family— to be as good a mother to my child. I want a husband that would provide for me and I want a home built on love and tenderness. Not… this… But the Demon Lord had already decided my fate and I can't do anything but make the most out of it. Maybe, just maybe, by facing my mistakes I can set to right the wrong things I have done. And I hope that somewhere along the way, I would be able to meet everyone again.
Author's Note: This is just a drabble. my first ever fic, so be nice. Comments and suggestions are welcome.