Black Roses

a chaosbringer production

warning: suicide, cutting, drug abuse, alcholism, language, and hinted yuri

disclaimer: sailor moon belongs to its respective owners i am merely borrowing the characters,

This is my first fic be gentle, k? no flames if u dont like it go home

Rating: R

The story is in hotaru's point of view thats whos speaking unless otherwise noted

and we begin.....

The day started off normal enough haruka-papa and michi-mama had gone to one of michi-mamas recitals so i had the house to myself. So i woke up about the time when my alarm went off I took out one of the cigs my freind had bought me about three days ago. This would be the last one so I'd have to get a new pack soon. After i finished that took a shower and got dressed I headed out to school. Catching a few odd looks from my fishnets and black clothes which I sometimes have to hide because they are a bit "too far" in my parents eyes. I wore a nice black miniskirt and a shortsleeve shirt with some wrist bands to cover up the scars all over my wrist.

Once again I got in trouble in school because some bitch called my a butch. I look nothing like a butch I have long hair I guess its because she knows how my parents are and the fact most of my friends are gay. Am i gay, uh no fuckin duh, but I aint no fuckin butch. So I had to kick her ass, and I hospitalized the bitch. Her name was something like Amy Mikelhanni, or some shit I didn't like her she didn't like me whatever. So they gave me i.s.s. Because they said that kicking me out wasn't doing any good, fucked up isn't it? Oh well whatever helps them sleep at night.

Anyway so I hung out with my friends talking about the fight and shit. Well I told them about how haruka-papa wanted to ground me but michi-mama talked her out of it, don't know how I guess she haruka-papa whipped. So I'm in first period and my worst fear comes true one of the girls wants to see my wristband so I let her, shes pretty cool her names Heather. The teacher walks over and looks down at my wrist, and almost had a cow she acts like shes never fuckin seen anyone with scars on their wrist. She had the decency not to announce it to the class but sent me up to the counslers office. So I sat in their and try to convince that they were old and from having a few reopen but she didn't buy it.

Then it goes from bad to worse as she calls my parents now haruka-papa might understand she loves me but understands I do my own thing well she went to a race. So they call michi-mama, and at first she thinks its about the fight so she tries to answer according to that. This goes on for five minutes before the fucking bitch of a counsler tells her why. Now at first she thought she was saying that michi-mama was responsible, that soon was cleared up. So she hung up told me that my mom would be here in about fifteen minutes, and right at fifteen minutes a very annoyed Ami and almost hysterical Michiru walk in.

At this point I prayed that if there was a good god in heaven I could die from a stroke, but I don't think he heard me. So the talk goes as well as it can before I get checked out early, fukin grade A great. As soon as I get in the car I have to hold my ears because Michi, who I have disowned as a mother at this point, decides not only to screama at me and have that bitch Ami join, but to pick out my every fucking flaw. So when she asks me what i have to say for myself I tell her to let me the fuck out. When she says no way in hell I say fine, then shut the fuck up. At that point both of them slapped the shit out of me. If I thought we wouldn't wreck I would have hospitilized both of them. Instead I settled to be quiet for, oh I'd say five minutes before I opened the door and jumped out.

Both of them screamed, I got up and ran as fast as my legs would take me to my dealers house hes the only one I know that is always armed. So I figured, hey get high, get fucked to get high, and get protected. I couldn't lose and for once I was right except for the fucking part, apparently after I came out to him and my friends he decided that he wouldn't fuck someone who "didn't like the cock" as he so elequently put it. So I hung doing whatever the fuck he would let me for about eight hours. I have never smoked so much weed, snorted so much blow, or popped that much hydrocodine. He left me with a gift of a Glock 17 and a very good supply of grade A heroin and relatively cheap liquor and cigarettes. I said goodbye and i kissed him. I think he knew what I planned on doing, but he didn't let on.

My next stop was the love of my life, and she didn't even know it. Fucked up isn't I told her but she shot me down, in a less than polite way, unless you consider being called a "perverted disgusting drug-addicted self-mutilating phsycotic rugmunching dyke" polite needless to say I couldn't fucking breath for about ten minutes then I cried, I cried and cried and cried, all the while runnig home. Thats why I started doing heroin it makes the pain easeir to cope with, you know?

So I got to her house high as a fucking kite and that dumb bitch she calls a mother didn't even fuckin notice, no wonder they want Ami to be the leader. Well we haven't been on good terms so I decided if nothing else to make it up to her. She knew I was their told me to sit, tried to be polite, key word tried. Finally she went off asked me what was wrong with me, asked me why I was high, why I liked girls, why I cut. So I told her "Rini do you really want to know why?" she practically screamed yes." It's because I love you, and if you don't accept it fine, but I love you more than life, even after you broke my heart, and stepped on the peices. She told me to get out, I told I loved her and goodbye, but not before I stole a french from her sweet, sweet lips.

Her mom saw, I didn't care I just ran, running will get you everywhere, its also a lot faster than walking. And in a situation like I was in walking out the door isn't exactly the most well though out plan. I think both of them wanted to kill me, but I was going to save them the trouble I ran for about five blocks before Michiru, Ami, And Makoto showed up, instead of running I got a better idea I had four clips thats sixty bullets, and I am a damn good shot. So I thought, hell I'll play with them a little, if your going to die at least have fun, I shot up in the alley before so I was good to go girls.

They approached me thinking I was to high to care once they breached that twelve foot personal space I had just set up, I pulled out the glock he lent me and waved it they just about shit their fucking pants. Ami was fucking screaming so I said "Shut the fuck up bitch and noone will get hurt. Makoto stepped in " Hotaru if you do that, its over for you don't be stupid" so I said "Just back away and noone gets hurt, okay." They weren't stupid so I shot their tires instead of them. They should thank me I ran where some dude in a very nice car was, I didn't even ask for it, I just pulled him out and shot him, maybe I've been playing too much san andreas, yeah right those cocksuckers in washington would love to hear that shit, but I just needed a ride,I'm goin to hell anyways, so fuck the speed limit let me get there faster.

So while just about everyone who is or is related to the sailor scouts scream I take off, and I don't let off the gas pedal i know where im going, there is an old abandon cliff on the other side of town, well it's mostly abondon you know how popular those places can be, though it does have a nice view of the ocean.

After three hours(well two execpt for the cops I had to get rid of ;) I hate fuckin pigs I made it but I also flipped the car so I am limping to the goddamn cliff with not only a broken but plenty of glass in my other parts. Everyones here, it'll be a nice show they are still screaming not knowing what the fuck I am about to do. Ami says I killed, get this nine police officers, hell yes I hate pigs, so I stand take the bullshit walk to the edge and turn around. I love the thermos that keeps my heroin liquid I bought it for a shitload of money, so shoot up right in front of them of course everyone but Rini is shocked, shes merelys disgusted, I think I should fuck her up pretty little knees, I've always liked her legs, now noone else will, I pull my gun, just one clip left pop both her knees they scream, I laugh haruka-papa charges me, oh well no better time than the present....BAM

Thanks to all who will review its my first fic be gentle ok, and please no flames, you can e-mail me at

Choasbringer productions