my first fic of the OC variety. like dislike? continue? i dunnooo...
Enough
"No Seth, you don't get it. You left."
He looked at her, running a hand through his curly brown hair. "Yeah, Sum- I kind of realized that. What with the sailing and not seeing you or my family..."
She spun on him, throwing her bag into his chest with pure anger. He took a step back and raised his hands in surrender.
"I explained, didn't you get the letter?"
"I got it. I fucking got it. I wasn't enough."
He tried to reach out but she backed up. "No." She turned on him, brushing imaginary lint from her shoulder and straightening her skirt.
"No- you won't accept my apology?"
She let out a valley girl sigh, one that clearly implied exactly what she thought of his intelligence.
"No Seth, it means don't speak to me, don't look at me, and don't touch me. You don't exist."
He looked at her shocked, "Don't you think that's a little harsh? Didn't you love me?"
"It doesn't matter, you left and I wasn't enough."
"Summer I love you…" his eyes narrowed his remorse hardened by her cruelty and flippant tone.
"Not enough."
Her face remained stone cold, her lips pursed and face relaxed into a monotone expression.
"God Summer!" he threw his hands up, "You keep saying that. Enough for what!"
She whipped her hair over her shoulder, eyes smoldering into his.
"I wasn't enough for you to stay, I wasn't enough for Marissa to sober up for at least one fucking night, I wasn't enough to keep my dad home, or to keep the step-monster from popping pills like they're damn tic-tacs and I wasn't enough to keep my mom from leaving. I'm never fucking enough- you, you've made that abundantly clear."
"You never told me your mom left." His temper had sunk but hers was still rising and swelling. It was funny how he learned the most about her when she was mad at him.
"Yeah? I guess it slipped my mind. I guess I didn't mention it because I knew you were going to leave." She hissed, knuckles white clenching her books.
"Sum, that's not fair- I'm here now right? It doesn't excuse me going, but I had to."
Her mouth set in a straight line, she considered him for a moment in cold rage.
"Seth."
She pulled a lip gloss from her purse and unscrewed the top, hip jutting out in all of her usual cocky glory.
"I was close to trusting you, really close. I'm glad I saved myself. No one else will. I needed you, I let myself need you," she brought a hand to her temple, rubbing out a headache, "what was I thinking?"
He moved in to protest but she had already set about coating her bottom lip with a red raspberry glaze. She smacked her lips together then withdrew her compact to check that any edges weren't smeared.
She smiled in self satisfaction.
"Look Seth—"
"Cohen." He interjected and she regarded him for a moment, a piece of the girl he left behind slipping through and peaking out of her narrowed eyes.
"…Seth Cohen, Chino left, Marissa tanked and I needed you."
"And I needed to get away, it isn't always about you Summer— you aren't the princess of the whole entire universe." His own frustration seeped into anger.
"I used to be your princess though-
and you left me alone here, you left in a letter and a boat. And I was scared and worried and alone and you didn't ask me to help you, I wasn't part of the plan, I was an after though written up in a letter that said I wasn't enough."
She was rambling now, hip drawn back in, arms around her middle, "My mom left a letter too- you both said the same things about love and need and getting away."
"But do you know what Seth Cohen? In the end you were gone and it wasn't about love was it?"
She rolled her shoulders forward bringing her hair around her face.
"I snuck into your room and slept on your bed, 'cause it smelled like home- but then your mom came in and she wanted to sleep there too. She didn't see me through all the tears, tears that you caused Seth, so I slept in the closet instead."
His eyebrows met and his eyes glassed over with tears.
"Don't you dare cry on me Seth Cohen, big kids don't cry. I certainly haven't wasted any tears on you- only time and trust."
"God I'm so stupid!" she growled out before her face snapped back into place and she moved towards him slapping him twice across the chest.
"So, don't speak to me, don't look at me, and don't touch me. I wasn't enough and you don't exist. Goodbye Cohen."
She turned and made her way across the courtyard linking arms with a faceless blonde and giving her a deceivingly happy smile. She didn't turn back, look back, she strode forward, leaving the blonde and handing her books off to a nameless water polo player. It was better this way. Faceless, nameless, better.