Author: BeautifulSilverSilence
Word Count: 885
Character(s): Kakashi and Rin
Disclaimer: Naruto and all of its characters belong to Kishimoto-sensei. This is being written for the enjoyment of myself and my readers, no monetary gain is being received as a result of this story.
Credit: Thanks so much to my lovely beta Aya.

Author's Note: This is just my take on what happened when Rin died. Of course we aren't positive that Rin died (but then Kakashi really shouldn't be saying that everyone he loved was dead, huh?), or how she died so I felt free to mess around with it a bit. Yes, Kakashi is a bit young but I assure you, the time line is correct and it just didn't seem to fit any other way for me.
There are a few run-on sentences, so before anyone wants to point them out, it's supposed to be like that. You know how Kakashi is, never grammatically correct lol.

Thank you to everyone who will decided to review after reading this, it really means a lot to me. Also, if you see any mistakes, please feel free to point them out.
I accept con-crit. gladly.

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When Rin died Kakashi didn't cry.

Not even when he held Rin in his arms as he ran frantically – clothes ripped and tripping from exhaustion and chakra depletion – from Rock Nin territory, dead-set on running and running and running and running until he couldn't run anymore, because, "God, Rin can't die here."

His eye was surprisingly dry as he stopped short, kneeling in a protected clearing while Rin hacked and coughed and blood flew out between blue lips as Kakashi was this close to having a panic attack right then and there.

But Kakashi couldn't because he was the jounin, the ranking officer here and he was supposed to be calm and collected and take control of the situation, but Kakashi had no clue how.

Rin was the medical nin, and Kakashi knew next to nothing about treating external wounds except for slathering on ointment and wrapping it until it finally stopped bleeding all over the damn place.

Kakashi can't fix the rib that is puncturing her lung and filling it with blood, and he can't do anything about the poison that's making her convulse and shake and scream in pain.

But Kakashi still didn't cry, not even when his eye started to burn and all of a sudden he was just too young, because he's only 14 and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do, and all of a sudden Kakashi can't breathe.

Kakashi's still not crying when Rin's lips start to move and when she tells him not to worry and not to ever to blame himself and never to be sad because she doesn't love him and it'll all be okay.

And this is one of the first times that Kakashi had ever truly hated being a genius because he can tell that Rin is lying and Rin never lies, not even when she confessed to him on his birthday two months ago, and not even a month later when she shook him and shook him and told him that, "Kakashi... Sensei is gone."

But Kakashi will believe Rin anyway, because Rin has never lied to him before, and if Rin doesn't love him then that means that everything is okay, because then Kakashi would have no clue what love means. And if Rin, with her big, warm heart and big, warm smiles doesn't love Kakashi, then Kakashi doesn't love anyone.

And Kakashi never wants to see anyone he loves die again.

Rin is still writhing in his arms and Kakashi's mind is terrifyingly blank. And so now he's running his hands through her hair and across her face and he's squeezing her as tight as he possibly can because Rin is so cold, and Kakashi doesn't have enough warmth for the both of them.

Then Rin's eyes start to close and he can hear someone screaming, – "Why won't they shut up!?" – and Kakashi wants to yell at them because he can hear them – "Rin, don't die! Don't die! Rin, don't leave me!" – but he doesn't because his throat is suddenly hoarse and Kakashi doesn't know what to say.

But Kakashi wants to try anyway, he wants to tell Rin how much he's sorry, for everything, for not being a better teammate and leaving her to die not more than a year ago when Kakashi honestly despised her because good shinobi always thinks of the mission, and good shinobi are strong, and a good shinobi never lets their emotions get the best of them.

He wants to tell Rin how much she means to him, but he's not sure how because that person is still screaming and she's the only person who's ever meant this much to him and he just doesn't know what the hell everything means.

And then he wants to tell Obito that he's sorry, because Rin's bleeding and Rin's dying, and Kakashi promised.

But Kakashi still doesn't cry when Rin dies, smiling her big, warm smile and shuddering so badly her neck lolls about like a rag doll. He doesn't cry even when the screaming doesn't stop and all of her blood --there's too much blood, Kakashi doesn't think it'll ever wash out-- dries on his uniform and stains his pale hands.

His shinobi side (the side that isn't whimpering and blubbering like a damn fool) takes over and he knows that he has to dispose of Rin's body before he goes back home – is Konoha even home anymore? –, even though it kills him that he has to leave her, he knows that nothing will attract the enemy like a corpse and Kakashi is exhausted and just doesn't have anything left.

So Kakashi is going to burn Rin's body, and take her hitai-ate and dogtags and her mother's necklace and run back to Konoha, so he can collapse at the hospital and wake up three weeks later and not think about the girl who died that he didn't even love...

And when he finally leaves her behind and has to lift up his hitai-ate to wipe at the moisture forming around Obito's eye, and he can honestly say he hasn't shed one single tear.

Obito's eye doesn't stop tearing until Kakashi gets back to Konoha; years later this is something Kakashi thanks him daily for.

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