Disclaimer: I don't own ER.
Looking back on my life, I remember the good times, I recall the painful times, and they ask, my grandchildren do, what was the best time? What's the one memory I never want to forget? If I could live one moment again which would it be?
They look up at me with eager eyes, was it when I met their grandma, my wife? Was it when their mom was born? Was it when I became a doctor? Was it standing in front of a crowd on a stage?
And I look at those gorgeous faces, who look like their mother at the same age and I think I can't tell them the truth, they're too young to understand. It's not the big things you want to hold onto, to never forget, its the small moments, a few minutes from a certain day, that you would never record in a journal, or write on a calendar, or put in a photo album, that mean the most.
When I think of that question, the possibility of reliving just one moment, there are so many candidates, but if it's just a case of reliving the past not rewriting it, it would have to be one that there's no record of, no photos, no video, and there's only one moment that stands out, one moment I think back to, one moment where I think the world couldn't have been more perfect.
A snowy night in January, I hate to imagine how many years ago now, and I pulled my car up outside her apartment, we were laughing, joking like old times and I didn't want to say goodnight. I took a risk and I grabbed her hand as she was about to leave. I slowly leant towards her, waiting for her to pull away, but this time she didn't. I've never felt anything so exquisite as the touch of my lips on hers. I still expected her to run but she didn't and I moved slightly closer, letting go of all my fears, my hand entwined in the silky, smoothness of her hair, and my tongue danced with hers in her mouth. The white flakes of snow continued to fall all around us, shielding us from prying eyes. That's all it was, a kiss. But I hold onto that memory so tightly, I don't ever want to forget it, and if I could go back and be there again, I would in an instant. That one kiss was the start of so much. I've got so many happy memories, so much to be thankful for, but for those ten minutes my life was more perfect than it's ever been.
I look down at their faces again, and I wonder if this is something they should know, if it's important to me, perhaps they should. And I wonder, if she was asked the same question, what she replied.