Title: Light Years Away
Fandom: Tru Calling
Disclaimers: I'm quite sorry to say that I do not own Tru Calling or it's characters. I also don't own the song Light Years Away, which along with the Tru Calling episode The Last Good Day was my inspiration for this fic, it belongs to Mozella.
AN: This is a one shot/song fic tag to the Season 2 episode the Last Good Day. It's most likely AU, although I don't know for sure because I haven't seen the second and last disc of Season 2 yet, but I doubt something like this happened. Anyway this is my first Tru Calling fic, so please go easy on me. I'm pretty sure that if you like it that there will be many more, so please review. Oh, and constructive criticism is always welcome. Now on with the story!
It's almost like you had it planned
It's like you smiled and shook my hand and said
"Hey I'm about to screw you over big time."
And what was I supposed to do?
I was stuck in between you and a hard place
We won't talk about the hard place
Tru Davies sighed heavily as she made her way into the silent cemetery, the one in which both her mother and her boyfriend had been laid to rest. A cool breeze blew her wavy brown hair gently as she walked silently, hands in her jean pockets, chocolate-brown eyes staring forward at the setting sun. The expanse of the slowly fading blue sky was splashed with broad strokes of vibrant pinks, purples, and oranges. The beauty of the sight seemed slightly ridiculous to her coupled with the angst ridden thoughts swirling around in her head.
She hadn't foreseen the way things would turn out all those months ago, she'd been so sure that she could save Harrison, her baby brother, and anybody else that needed her, too. She'd thought she could handle it, even though Jack told her it wouldn't work out, that somebody had to die that day. He'd offered to leave Harrison alone if she stopped saving people, people who according to Jack, were supposed to be dead. She'd protested vehemently, not saving the people who asked for her help was not an option. This job, however difficult it may be, was her calling in life, a calling that had been passed down to her from her mother. It was something that even if she wanted too, she could not turn her back on.
She now feels as if uttering those words of surety had been seen by Jack as a challenge. A challenge of which he'd been determined to win, he'd been determined to show her the way he thought the universe was supposed to work. It was like from that moment on he'd planned Luc's death in case she managed to prevent Harrison's. When she'd realized what Jack had set in motion she'd rushed off to save Luc, knowing exactly where he'd be. She got there in time, but she hadn't been able to stop Donnie from pulling the trigger, she'd failed.
She'd hated Jack for what he'd done. Maybe he hadn't pulled the trigger himself, but he'd essentially loaded the gun and pointed it in the right direction.
But I don't blame you anymore
That's too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life
It's how you wanted it to be
It's like you played a joke on me
And I lost a friend
In the end
And I think that I cried for days
But now that seems light years away
And I'm never going back
To who I was
'Cause I don't blame you anymore
That's too much pain too store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life
I think that I cried for days
But now that seems light years away
And I'm never going back
To who I was
Her hate for him had dimmed only the slightest bit in the months that he'd been away, it had been to hard to hold all of that hate, pain, and grief inside herself. She'd been an emotional wreck after the funeral, more so than before it because at least before it she could cling to at least a little hope that Luc would ask for help. When Jack had shown up at the funeral she'd been royally pissed, he had some hell of a nerve coming there when he was the one mainly responsible for Luc's death.
And then he'd had the audacity to say that he took no pleasure from being right. She'd laid into him then, telling him that it was on, that he had no idea what he'd begun, before walking away to say one last goodbye to Luc. She hadn't known it at the time, but that would be the last time she saw Jack for months. Maybe if she had known she wouldn't have let him walk away, she wasn't really sure.
Despite Luc being gone life moved on, just like it had without her mother all those years ago. And just like then she'd managed to hold onto her sanity and continue walking on. She'd had Harrison to help her out just like after their mom, but now she had Davis too. They'd both helped her out a lot, helping her find her new self. She hadn't changed too much, but she knew she'd never be that girl she'd been before. She'd been irrevocably changed just like she had after her mother's death, but she'd been moving forward, steadfastly throwing herself back into her two jobs, and Davis had even pulled some strings to get her into med school. And then suddenly Jack was back in the picture and things were becoming more difficult. He was really good at his "job".
'Cause I don't blame you anymore
That's too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life
But then last week everything changed, Jack had been asked for help, his day reversing the way hers normally would and her day had reversed the way his normally would. Saying that the way he fell back to the beginning of the day was unpleasant was a bit of an understatement, she never wanted to feel that way ever again. She'd finally figured out was going on when she realized that the images that had been flooding her brain during her rewind were of the victim's last day. She'd realized that she was in Jack's place and he was in hers. She'd handled it like she'd handle any other rewind day, because 1) She wasn't going to kill anyone or help anyone die like Jack did, and 2) She was sure Jack was going to handle things the way he always did. She'd been right, but as the day had gone on, it seemed that Jack had become attached to the girl.
Even though she hadn't thought it would happen, she'd hoped Jack would leave well enough alone and let Megan live. Of course she went to make sure nothing happened. When she got to the Edison Tower and saw Megan hanging over the edge of the observation deck she'd panicked, running up the many flights of stairs to the observation deck as fast as she could. She didn't make it in time, Jack had already dropped Megan. She'd looked him straight in the eye, brown eyes piercing blue, and she'd spoken harshly, all the while doing nothing to keep her despise for him off her face, "I wish it were you!"
He'd looked at her, his eyes a liquid blue, filled to the brim with anguish, and he'd spoken softly, dejectedly as he'd backed away from her, "That makes two of us."
She'd recoiled at the softly spoken words, as if she'd been slapped. She'd known he'd meant what he'd said, she could hear it in his voice, see it his eyes. Both were filled with despair and self loathing, and just like that her opinion of him was irrevocably changed. She could suddenly no longer pretend that he was the devil incarnate, someone pure evil. He wasn't, she could see that now, as she walked steadily towards Luc's grave. He'd told her many times that he didn't take any pleasure from people's pain and suffering over their lost loved ones. She hadn't believed what he'd said, she hadn't wanted to listen. She was listening now, hearing what he'd said, his words bouncing around in her head.
"I'm not Death, Tru. I don' t determine who lives or dies. It's my job to bring a little order to the universe."
"I take no pleasure in that."
"I like your brother. I'd hate to see him die. I'd hate to see you see him die. Again."
"I also hate reliving days. I mean, the first time was kinda cool, but after that, dull as dishwater."
"You know what I hate more than anything? The way you're looking at me right now."
"Is that how you think this works? When you save someone who's supposed to die, there are consequences. The universe keeps very strict accounts, Tru. And what you're doing is messing with the books. So, if you save Harrison, the one certainty is someone else is gonna die today, in his place."
"I'm really sorry, Tru. Like I said, there are parts of my job that sometimes don't make me feel so good about myself."
"I take no pleasure from being right."
"You should know one thing. This is bigger than you think."
"1) Who's to say that truck would have actually killed her? And 2) Why do you look so surprised?"
"I guess you don't listen so well, Tru. I preserve fate. Until a day restarts, I'm no different then him, or her… or you."
Yes, he'd said most of those things in that annoyingly arrogant inflection of his, but she could see now that it was a front. He wasn't really that heartless. She wasn't ever going to forgive him for what he did to Luc, and she wasn't going stop saving people, but at least she now understood where he was coming from. He wasn't some horrible person who liked playing a part in death and watching people die. In fact he downright hated his job, and probably wanted things back to the way they were before that fateful day when he had a near death experience which ended with him waking up and it being the same day all over again. She'd thought her job was hard, she couldn't imagine how hard his was for him.
Knowing that she was finally nearing Luc's grave, she looked up. She was more than a little surprised to see the object of her thoughts standing there, his head bowed as he stared down at the gravestone. He turned then, looking at her, there were no false pretences, there was just his eyes, liquid blue in their anguish. Thinking back on it, his eyes had never been cold or empty, hardened and guarded sure, but so were a lot of other peoples'. His eyes, when they'd worked at the morgue together before she'd found out what it was that he did, had always reminded her of the pacific ocean, they were that crystal clear aquamarine color, gorgeous really.
She was just about to say something, when he looked her dead in the eye and spoke, sincerely, his voice filled with remorse, "I'm sorry."
She nodded, standing there for a moment in awkward silence before ambling over to him, closing the eight foot distance between them. She reached out, placing her hand on his left shoulder. He'd flinched as if expecting to be slapped, but let the tension ease from his body when he realized that wasn't going to happen. She'd looked into his eyes, her own shining with sincerity and something akin to understanding, as she spoke softly, "I know Jack, I know."
As they stood there looking into each other's eyes before turning to look at the sunset, their shoulders touching, everything that had happened with Luc seemed so far away. It had taken them quite a while to get to this point. They both realized as they stood there in companionable silence, that they may have been pitted against each other to do fate's bidding, but that didn't mean they had to make this nasty. After all it was nothing personal, they were just doing their jobs.
That life seems like light years away
Light years away
And that life seems like light years away
Light years away
Thanks,
Alaina