Gone
Chapter 1

Share what you had with me.

"N-No. You can do thith to me!" Tears flowed out of his eyes, cradling a limp body in his arms. She was barely breathing. "P-Pleathe…d-don't go, Aradia…" His tears blurred his vision. A slowly chilling hand touched the side of his face, and he watched her final breaths through his cracked red and blue glasses. She whispered into his ear.

Sollux Captor opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling in a daze. He had that dream again, a moron could tell that by the tears in his eyes. He swore under his breath and wiped his eyes as he sat up, surveying the room. Books and electronics were strewn around the room, which looked to be in a state of neglect. He stared at the floor for a long time, deep in thought about his dream, his memory. A few stray tears made their way down his cheeks as he painfully remember he had not heard that whisper. The last whisper of the one he loved, the last thing she had ever said, and he didn't even hear it.

A single knock on the door disturbed Sollux from his thoughts. "Captor, wake up, some fucker is at the door, said he knows you."

The voice growled from behind the door. Reluctantly, Sollux walked over to the door an answered I, "Did he thay who he wath, KK?" He asked, avoiding his roommate's eyes.

"No. Why don't you go ask him, Captor?" He snarled, clearly pissed to of been woken up so early. In Sollux's eyes, he was clearly less than a moron. "I'm going back to bed." And with that, Karkat stormed off.

Sollux watched him leave, wincing as Karkat slammed the door behind him. Sollux trudged down the hallway, his heart dropping into the pit of his stomach when he saw the visitor standing at the door. "Doctor Thcratch…" He murmured, "What do you want?" He asked, sharper than he originally intended for it to come out.

…

Sollux Captor smoothed out his suit as he walked down Main Street. Despite it being the weekend, the road was alive with cars and the sidewalk bustling with people. He watched the people come and go through his cracked red and blue glasses; the ones he only wore once a year.

He walked along silently, completing his annual rout towards a small flower booth just at the street corner. The clerk smiled at him as he bought a dozen roses.

"Special occasion?" She asked kindly.

Sollux nodded, handing her the money. "Yeah." He nodded and couldn't help but smile a bit. As he walked away she called after him to have a nice day.

…

"You know very well why I am here, Mr. Captor." He spoke calmly, taking a step inside of the small apartment. "May I come in?"

"You are already here, tho I don't thee the point in turning you away." He motioned for Dr. Scratch to follow him into the small sitting room.

"Thank you." Dr. Scratch nodded, "I had hoped for you to be a good host." He said, sitting down in a chair across from the couch Sollux had just sat down in.

"Not ath if I had a choice." Sollux said bluntly, glaring at the Doc's shoes intensely.

A silence came about the room before Dr. Scratch spoke again. "You understand why I am here, as your therapist and doctor, I am obligated to-"

"To tell me to thtay the fuck home, yeah, yeah, I get it alright?" Sollux snapped. "Well, I'm not, I'm going to do the thame thing I do every year. I am going to pay my rethpects."

"From what you have told me of Aradia, she would not of wanted you to neglect your life for her sake. I have no argument against paying your respects to her, but you know that is not what I am referring to. You were a highly respectable man, with a decent job, and-"

"I had Aradia back then!" Sollux snapped, his eyes flashed with anger.

"Mr. Captor." Doctor Scratch insisted, straightening his tie. "No person that loved another as much as Aradia cared about you would wish for you to halt your entire life simply to show your reliability towards your relationship. She has been gone for five years now, in the past you have said yourself she would of wanted you to move on."

Sollux stood up. "I think it is time for you to leave." He growled, his fists clenched in anger. "And you can forget about next week's appointment."

"I am not going to have to send in a request for your admission, am I, Mr. Captor, am I?" Scratch stood up as well, starting over towards the door.

Sollux rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm not going to try killing myself, alright?" He opened the door, still bristling with anger. "Just leave."

"Very well, Mr. Captor. I will however hold open your usual appointment time next week, just in case you decide to change your mind." The doctor added before stepping out into the hallway, the door slamming behind him.

Sollux swore loudly and leaned on the door, ignoring the tears that began to surface to his eyes. "Who the fuck was that?" Came a voice from behind him, clearly pissed from having been woken up again.

Sollux quickly wiped his face, before turning to see his roommate. "Nothing, KK, he wath trying to thell thomething. Jutht go back to bed or something, I've got work today…" He mumbled, passing Karkat quickly.

"Liar." Karkat snapped. "It is Saturday you asshole, and since when did you have a fucking job? Obviously never since I pay the god damn rent!"

Sollux stopped, his hand on his door knob to his room. "Whatever KK…" He mumbled before stepping inside.

Karkat mentally punched himself after Sollux vanished into his room. "I am such a senseless fuckass…" he mumbled, heading to the kitchen.

…

"Aradia…" Sollux murmured, standing in front of a large gray tombstone adjusting the glasses his lover had given him. He was chocking up. "I-I… I brought you thome flowerth… it ith your favorite…" He held back a small sob, tears running down his cheeks as he kneeled down, placing the flowers gently on the grass. "Thorry I haven't been back for a while… I got a new roommate… heh... you would probably get Kanaya to threaten him, he curtheth tho much.." he smiled at the thought, sitting down and staring at the stone. "I-I… I need to tell you thomething, Aradia…" He spoke softly now. "I… I never heard what you told me… before y-you..." He let out a sob, closing his eyes in pain from the memory.

Sollux, you should have told me.

"I-I am tho thorry, Aradia, I-I… I tried to remember… but it wath tho hard to… when you were thot…and I-I…"

It is quite alright. I do not blame you.

"I-I feel tho horrible… Aradia… I…"

But you know what I said, Sollux.

"Aradia, I jutht thaid I.." Sollux paused. The memory of the scene flooding back to him. He had been holding her in his arms, it was a robbery, and they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Aradia had gotten shot from a stray bullet, and he was holding her. Begging her. His glasses that she had given to him, the ones that made her actually smile when he wore then, had fallen and broken on the floor. She leaned up to him. And she whispered… she whispered…

"Th.. th… Share what you had with me…" He stammered out. "Tha… That ith what you wanted me… thith whole time… you just… wanted me to move on…" His head bowed, and he sobbed. "Y-you… you taught me tho much, Aradia, you made me laugh and thmile, and I would never ever for one thecond think of…" Sollux paused again. "That ith what you wanted all along… A-Aradia… you… I miss you so much…"

You know I miss you. But the only thing harder than being without you is watching you live your life alone.

Sollux watched the grass sway in the wind for a long time before responding again. "I… I will never forget you, Aradia, and I promithe, I will make it up to you!" He closed his eyes. "I will make my life a great one, and m-maybe…" he trailed off, "Give you a piece of your life back too…"

I would like that, Sollux.