This story involves my own Klokateer, Katrina, and the struggles she goes through to ensure Dethklok is safe.
Disclaimer: Only own Katrina. Not Dethklok.
Introduction to Number 167 (Not that important)
Number 167 was special because she refused to let her name go. She was Number 167 to everyone but herself. After observing her fellow Klokateers, Katrina decided that once you lost you're name, you lost yourself, became expendable, and you would die. By keeping her identity, she liked to believe she lived longer. Because she had managed to live so long, surviving the freak accidents that plagued the workers of Dethklok, she had been promoted to head bodyguard. Katrina worked out strenuously, had quick reflexes, and all the other skills you could gain from living long. She was in charge of the Klokateers that surrounded the boys. This proved to be a daunting task, but they were all loyal. Like the other Dethklok employees, she wore the customary black hood, brown hair cut short, in the unisex, black, and sleeveless uniform. It was difficult to tell the men and women Klokateers apart in the uniforms. They all blended into one faceless mass.
It had grown easy, to stand by the doorway, unmoving, guarding it. Even if Dethklok was home and safe, they were constantly surrounded by Klokateers. It wasn't so much that they were afraid of someone breaking into Mordhaus, but so they could protect the boys from themselves. The five rock gods were drinking in the hot tub, abandoned clothing currently being collected and folded by Klokateers. Usually, each member of Dethklok had three personal Klokateers. One was their personal bodyguard, another was their maid, and the third was simply there for them to order around. Rarely did Katrina pay any attention to what the guys were doing, but today was an exception. Usually she was constantly scanning the room, focusing on any potential threats, or ran over strategic maneuvers in her head to run by Ofdensen later. Today, however, the boys had intrigued her, by discussing what they would do if they had a million dollars.
"Just think, a million dollars to do whatever the f(guitar riff) you want to." Nathan started. "You could buy whatever you want!" Even though she was trained not to make a sound, even when she wanted to laugh, Katrina couldn't help but think it was ironic, considering that each member of the band was worth billions. "I know what I'd do, if I had a million bucksch." Murderface jumped right in. "I would schtart my own band! I even know what I'd call it." Gesturing in front of him, as if he was seeing the name in lights, he declared, "Planet Pissch." He went all starry-eyed, but his fantasy was interrupted by Skwisgaar. "Pfft, thats is dildos." Before he could say anymore, Murderface erupted, "Oh yeah? Well, maybe I'll just go kill myschelf! Would that be dildosch?" He pulled his knife out of nowhere, and started stabbing the floor outside the hot tub. "Yous already ins a bands. Whys you wants be's in 'nuver bands?" Toki asked, confused. He looked at Skwisgaar for an explanation, who merely started plucking the strings of his guitar. Katrina listened as this unfolded, fascinated. "Well, if you're scho schmart, why don't you tell usch what you would do with a million bucksch!" Murderface yelled, angry that no one really cared about his idea. "I woulds buy a turtles." Toki stated very matter-of-factly. "Um, Toki, sorry to break it to you, but turtles are just not very metal." Nathan said after taking a deep swing from his beer. "They ares toos. Theys are the onlys animalas that carries theirs homes with thems wherevers theys goes. Theys moves so slows, theys easy preys. Theys evens bites ifs theys mads." Toki defended his would-be pets, and Nathan answered after a little consideration. "Whoa, I guess they are pretty brutal after all. Maybe I'll get one too…" He trailed off and pulled out his ever-present tape recorder. "Song idea, turtle bursts out of shell, massacres everyone…," he mumbled into it. The other band members ignored him, and Pickles grew aware enough of his surroundings to say something. "Dood, are we talking about what we'd do with a million dollars? I know what I'd do! I'd tour the world!" Just as the other guys were going to shoot down this idea, he continued. "Yeah, dood, I would try the different boozes all over the world!" He downed a full beer in one breath, before passing out. Katrina motioned for his personal bodyguard to take him out of the hot tub, and to make sure he was still alive. The other members didn't react to this, seeing as how it was a daily occurrence, and continued talking. "Well, ifs I hads a millions dollar, I would kills all the mens my sluts ofs a mudders has evers slepts withs." Without another word, he furiously plucked at the strings of his Gibson Explorer. It was surprising that he acknowledged her existence. Katrina knew a little about the history of each of the boys, but a lot was still secret. She noticed that Toki had dozed off, and his head was sinking forward into the water. She allowed one of the Klokateers to pull his head up, but let him remain in the hot tub. "Well, if I had a million dollars, I would buy my own country." Nathan paused for a moment after saying this, to let it sink in. "I would call it Explosion Nation. I would be able to do whatever the f(guitar riff) I wanted in it, and I would place strip clubs, and bars, and casinos, and I wouldn't have to pay s(guitar riff). It would all be free, but only for me. Everyone else would have to pay. Even you ass(guitar riff)." After a few seconds of silence, the members cheered and agreed that is what they would want. Smiling under her hood, Katrina quickly controlled her laughter. Even though she had not changed in her outward stature, she felt almost ashamed that she let herself be amused by their antics. After their conversation died down, Katrina sensed it was time to step forward. "My lords," She started, in her most formal tone, addressing the conscious three. "Perhaps it is time to retire, my masters. It is getting rather late." Actually, it was around four in the morning, but that wasn't considered early in the morning to them. "Yeah, sure, whatevers." They all mumbled, half asleep/passed out anyway.
She gave the signal for her Klokateers to help the naked members out of the hot tub, and to take them to their rooms. They quickly accomplished this, with her not far behind them. The Klokateers had to half-carry the band to their rooms. Toki wasn't drunk, but since he was so child-like and had fallen asleep in the hot tub, he had to be carried. Once they were all placed in their rooms, Katrina took the opportunity to take a quick, hot shower and changed into a clean uniform. Even if she stayed far away from the drunk boys, they still managed to throw up on her. With the boys unusual sleep patterns, Klokateer 167 was lucky if she managed to get four hours of sleep every twenty-four hours. She felt it was her responsibility to always be watching the boys when they were awake, even if they did have an army of Klokateers around them. She had to stay up as late as Skwisgaar, to ensure that his latest GMILF was out of his room and he was asleep. She had to be up early to watch over Toki, who woke up the earliest. Katrina made a final round, checking inside the rooms of the boys. After taking the knife out of Murderface's hand so he wouldn't help himself, removing the empty beer bottles and other drug leftovers from Pickle's bed, turning off Nathan's tape recorder and setting it next to his clothes for tomorrow, turning on Toki's nightlight and tucking him in, and shooing the latest screw out of Skwisgaar's room and clearing the room of the stink of sex, she finally managed to get to her own bed. The nice thing about being the head bodyguard, was that she got her own, private room, instead of sharing like everyone else did. There were several televisions in her room, with camera feeds of the hallways. Each Dethklok member lived on his own private floor, and she had a camera for each hallway. Klokateers were stationed outside their doors, at the stairways, and at every possible doorway that could lead you to the boys. Feeling satisfied, Katrina collapsed on her double bed, and quickly fell into a light sleep. Far off in Mordhaus there were Klokateers watching the same exact same screens that were in her room, and a lot of other television screens showing almost every inch of Mordhaus. If there were any problems, they would wake her up and wait for her commands. The only places there weren't cameras, were in the boys' personal rooms, and the Klokateers' rooms. Because no one cares about them, and that is metal.
Alright, so I republished this after working on it a bit more. I decided I didn't care if people were bothered with OCs, and that is metal. ;)