I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT NEW MOON OR ANY CHARACTERS IN THESE BOOKS.

-DISCLIAMER

E.P.O.V

Today makes ten years since she left me here. October 17. This is the only day were I smoke a pack of blunts and drink two or three bottles of whiskey or scotch . Even though the alcohol or the blunts doesn't affect me, its still feels good to use to make the pain go away as humans would say. I sit on my black couch remembering how this room….this house used to be before she left. Her soft yet firm bed with light navy-blue comforter with gold moons, suns, and, stars with matching pillows. Her dresser with a vanity mirror on it that was against the wall and a little to close to the door, so when she came in she would bump into it. The pure white carpet that never had a stain on it, and the white walls that matched it. I can still see her opening the bedroom door almost knocking into her dresser saying "Your gonna get detention again for skipping." taking her strap book bag off from around her shoulder and dropping it on the floor.

She walk over to me with her uniform that had the Cathedral high school monogram on her navy-blue sweater and her gray plaid shirt that wasn't put over her knees and then some like most of the girls at the school. She bent down to kiss my forehead but as she did her room began to fade away and did she. And I all I see is my dark room again. I looked out the window to see the dark cloud with lighten breaking threw and thunder but no rain. The weather was just like this when she left. Then suddenly my room turned into the memory that I didn't want to think of . She was packing her clothes into a duffel bag on the bed.

"May I ask where you're going?"

I asked. She tired from the bag and went to the mirror to brush her hair. I watched her brush her drown hair waiting for an answer. The more she brushed the more shinner and alive it became. She stop bushing and turned to me and leaned on the dresser.

"I'm leaving….I'm going away."

It sounded ridiculous, where would she go after what happened.

"I don't know where but far from here." she said.

I haven't got used to her reading my mind but my face doesn't look as shock as it used to be.

"Why are you leaving? You can just stay with us…you know your family." "No I'm not Edward, I'm only half of what you are."

"So you're going with that pack of dogs with Sam? "Just because my mother prefer him doesn't mean I want to be with him."

I walked over to her.

"Well where the hell are you going to go?"

"I told you I'm going away."

Her voice began to rise. I hated when that happened.

"Please I don't want to fight. I just wanted to--"

"Who says we are fighting?!"

I ignored her.

"Please tell me why your leaving me."

Her voice went low again.

"I don't want to."

"Then why."

She stared at the floor and sighed. I lifted her chin up so that her eyes can meet mine. Dazzling her like I did with other girls never worked.

"Because I don't want you to protect me."

I didn't know what to say. I loved protecting her, loved having her in my arms. To have her know that she was safe from danger…even herself.

"But I want to."

She sighed again. "Edward , after what happened….being here is not safe for me, you or anyone else."

"But--"

"In order for something terrible not to happen. I have to go away…Edward I have to protect you."

I felt my mouth open. I plopped on the her bed so I can catch my thoughts. She's leaving me to protect me?

"Edward, I don't like the feeling of you having to be there to save my life. I'm perfectly capable of myself…it makes me feel venerable because I can't defend myself."

I was stearing at the floor trying to block everything but the more I tried to the more it sank in. I felt something heavy on my chest that flowed up to my head and then to my eyes.

"So you're saying that you don't want me anymore…..I'm….I'm I no good for you."

My voice became low, she leaned off the dresser and walked over to me. She crouched down to my level.

"That's just it Edward, you're no good for me and I'm not good for you . I just wanted it to be me and you…but now I guess that's not how its suppose to be."

I can't believe she was saying this to me. Why didn't she want me. My voice was only a whisper.

"Why are you doing this to me….I love you."

"Edward I love you too but--"

"Then why are you leaving me! Is it because I'm half of what you are! You think I'm not good enough for you!

"Edward that's not it I--"

"THEN WHAT!!"

She grabbed my face into her hands and kissed me passionately. I tried very hard to break it because I wanted to yell some more. But I can never get out of it. So I kissed back and her lips began to part, allowing my tongue to enter. I don't know how long we kissed but I new it was over when she released her mouth and tried to catch her breath. I started into her eyes and saw so much concern and worry she had for me in those brown irises. I realized that she didn't want anything to happen to me because of what she is. There are certain people that will do anything just so that they can have her blood. Now I understand why she wanted to be out of the picture.

I felt that heaviness again in my chest, but this time the pain made my eyes hazy with water that I couldn't see. Until when I blinked drops of cold water fell down my face. It was tears. I was crying. I cant believe I cant still do that. I may still be able to cry but it was not as warm as hers when it burned threw my shirt. She put my head to her chest and ran her hand threw my hair as is I was her child. Then she sat on the bed next to me and put my head on her lap, stroking my hair again. I don't know much longer I'll be able to be held like this but I knew it wasn't long. She began to hum the my favorite song. It always made me feel as if I was about to sleep but the slumber never came. I wanted to keep my eyes open just to see her loving face again.

With her soft brown eyes and hair along with her skin. Beautiful in every way. I loved her dark brown skin that always gave me warmth when she hold me like this.

"When do you leave Gwendolyn?"

She stop singing and got up and turned to me. She took my face into her hands and kissed my forehead.

And she was gone