This story contains material that may be hard for some people to cope with so if you are easily upset by physical, emotional, and mental abuse then this story isn't for you. This is rated M for mature content. M for violence, suicidal thoughts and lemons. But it will not contain rape.
Again if these contents are too much for you to handle then don't read this story. This story is based off of my own life experiences all the physical abuse that is mentioned in this story I have experienced. This story is more so a therapy session for me. I still haven't dealt with my past and I think writing it out will help me.
"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."
― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
When one gets caught into a troubling situation they ask themselves, "How did I end up here?" But when one is caught in the same situation they start to ask themselves, "How do I get out?"
Relationships in movies tell you about love, compassion, soul mates. Love that has no bounds, love that sees through the toughest situations. Movies don't tell you that some relationships aren't not like that.
Relationships that are drowning in despair, drowning in its own failure. Relationships that have blistering consequences on ones soul and mind.
An arranged marriage can work she had seen them work but an arranged marriage and a forced one are two different things. She had begged and pleaded soon she relented. Telling herself that it was for the best of clan. The Hokage himself even encouraged the marriage saying that it would be best for the village. That it would help to have a powerful clan from the village marry another person from a powerful clan from another village.
The Hyuga compound was almost completely destroyed by the war, many members sacrificing their lives for this village. She saw it fit to sacrifice herself for the clan, for the village. If it meant that her clan could rebuild than she would do it. If it meant that the village would be a little safer she would do it.
He was a wealthy man from Kumogakure. Handsome dark brown hair with hazel eyes, slightly tanned skin and a disarming smile. She felt at ease when she saw that he brought her flowers. White tulips. They talked for an hour he was lovely and kind.
The wedding was set for autumn. All of her friends came well not all but she didn't dwell on it fearing she would tear up on her wedding day.
It was a lavish wedding the Hyugas wanted nothing less even if they were close to dirt poor appearance still meant everything.
The first few months of their matrimony was calm and delightful. He would talk sweet nothingness into her ear, he would love her at night, would take her out for walks.
And then things changed he came home drunk his breathe hot, the smell of alcohol was so over powering so nauseating. The first slap came fast and hard.
The first slap you'll ever experience will leave you shocked. You may not even really remember the feeling of that first slap you will just remember the entail shock. The second slap you will remember the feeling the stinging burning feeling if the slap was hard enough it may have broken the skin. But surprisingly after multiple slaps you stop feeling it the pain will be fleeing stinging for almost a second before disappearing as though it was never there in the first place.
He had apologized in the morning after he had a night to sleep it off. He begged for her to forgive him. It was a mistake he said a drunken mistake.
She contemplated on telling her father, but they had only been married for a year. How would that look upon her and her family? Only married for one year and already wanting a divorce.
She forgave him a mistake she would never forgive herself for.
They went back to the way it was but soon it became apparent the monster she had married.
The gambling, the infidelity, the drinking.
She confronted him on the first infidelity he made sure that she would never confront him again. He dragged her by her hair and locked her into a room only allowing the servants to bring her bread and letting her shower every so often. A week went by and he came in the room.
Stroked her hair and told her that she mustn't ever question him. What if the servants heard her question him? What if word got out that she a woman was questioning him a man?
She must learn her place and he would make sure she would learn where that was.
She realized that even asking simple questions would anger him. If he wanted his clothes hung in a certain way and she asked why a slap would come quick and hard.
He would break her. She would learn that his word was final.
She seemed to walk on egg shells. On thin ice and the ice would always break. Not having food on the table when he got home would get her a tongue lashing.
"Why are so you incompetent? When I come home I want a hot meal on the table ready understood?"
The second year of marriage consisted of him admonishing her and slapping her.
Sex... had become uncomfortable. Not wanting to say anything to anger him even more she just followed his lead silently letting tears fall down her face thanking the night for covering her tear stricken face.
Once he was done. She would sob letting all her rage out. Letting the chocking sobs consume her.
The third year of marriage proved to be the beginning of what would break her. What would change her soul.
Soon she didn't have to do anything to upset him. Her mere presence upset him, if she looked at him in a way he deemed disrespectful he would smash his foot in her face drag her to that awful room and lock her in there.
He cut her off from her family. How many weddings had she missed? How many people came to visit her? Soon he would not even allow her father to visit. She remembered hearing her father demand to see her. Her heart leapt she was going to be free she would run into her fathers arms and he would whisk her away to the safety her village, but alas it was all a dream.
Her husband told her father that he had no right over her that he would not be allowed to see her ever again. She would only visit when he allowed her to visit and that this would be her fathers last visit unannounced. All visits from here on must be approved by him.
How many birthdays had she missed? She missed her sister Hanabi, she missed her teammates Kiba and Shino. She missed Kurenai and she missed... no.. she couldn't miss him she wouldn't allow herself to miss him.
She hadn't seen Neji's grave since she got married. She hoped someone was sending him white lilies.
Yes the third year of marriage was hard but it was the fourth that was unbearable.
Kicks, slaps, pushes that sent her head banging on the floor, hair pulling that left her scalp sore.
She had become accustomed to the floor. He would push her on the hard wooden floors stomping on her face and she would escape by focusing her eyes on a particular spot on the floor. Holes were scattered on the walls from being pushed into them. Glass broken by him throwing things at windows. Why must he throw things? That only caused more mess.
She also come very accustomed to the room that he would lock her up in. The longest she had been locked in there was two months and two and half weeks. They were best time of her life she didn't have to see him. Didn't have to hear him. It was tranquility for her. She would daydream of being in the Hyuga gardens. With the smell of flowers tickling her nose.
But soon he let her out. Oh how she wished he would just lock her away and let her rot there to die. Why must she suffer more?
Soon the fifth year of marriage came. This time she expected him to kill her. There was nothing left. But she was saved.
Her father had come back. Come back to get her out of this reoccurring nightmare. He had come with ANBU and Hyuga guards informing her husband that the marriage was now over.
They had found Hinata in her small room. Cowering in the corner squinting her eyes at the intruding light.
"Oto-San?" She squeaked
His heart wrenched seeing his daughter in such a state. The room smelled of rotting food and urine. She looked unclean and malnourished. He cursed himself.
"Hinata." He slowly approached. Reaching his hand out to his daughter. For her only to cower into the corner further. He felt tears pierce his gray eyes. He swallowed and steeled himself.
"Come Hinata. We're going home."
"H-home?" This was a dream she was dreaming but it was real. Slowly she reached for his hand and she gasped it was real he father was here.
"Oto-San!" She leaped into his arms. Tears soaking his clothing.
They walked out of the room and there she saw him. The demon that had trapped her for 5 years.
"Hinata don't you dare walk out of this house!" His voice roared. His command must be followed
Her body stiffened, her father rubbed her arm coaxing her to not pay attention to him and keep walking.
He tried to lunge at her but the Hyuga guards pushed him back a satisfying thump told her he hit his head on the floor that was more accustomed to her howls of pain than his.
Her father demanded they stop at the nearest hotel for her to clean up. Her face reddened she must smell like an open sewage system.
Soon she was clean and dressed in one of her favorite yukata. A white colored yukata with purple flowers and vines climbing up the sides. She looked at herself in the mirror. A faint scar on her right cheek barely noticeable unless she pointed it out to someone. But it was glaring right at her.
He had been drink that time. She tried to run away from him which only enraged him more she finally reached her room and tried closing the door. He grabbed her by the hair scratching her face against the lock of the door. Blood dripped down her cheek finally she locked the door but soon he broke it down and when he finally got to her his foot connected to her face. Blood now dripping from her nose. Mingling with the blood from her cheek
She shook her head not wanting to remember she could feel tears run down her face. She looked herself in the mirror again. Her once full and thick hair was now dull and thin. Bags underneath her eyes told of unspoken horror.
Soon they left the hotel heading for home. Heading for the place she had dreamed of for so long.
Her village.
Her home.
They rode in carriage for that she was grateful. Her father not one for physical touch and emotion even allowed her to put her head on his shoulder and stroked her hair.
But the things that break you never leave you. The things that changed you will always haunt you. She would soon learn this.
They arrived in Konoha in three days. She inhaled the air. Air is different from place to place. In some villages it felt stiff and suffocating. But here in Konoha it felt freeing.
"We must see the Hokage first." Her father informed her
The Hokage. Last time she was here Kakashi was Hokage. Could he now be Hokage?
She inhaled and tried to push that thought out of her head. Soon they arrived at the Hokage tower. Her father helped her up the stairs. Her body felt so weak she had lived on so little food for so long and she barely did anything in that house expect sit in that room.
She didn't realize how unused her muscles were.
Her father knocked and she heard a mumbled come in.
As they opened the door there in the Hokages chair he sat. His blonde hair and azure blue eyes. He smiled brightly but it soon turned into a look of concern she didn't need his concern not now. Not ever.
Was it her fault for giving into delusions? Her fault for playing fairytale in her mind? Those last few years that she suffered she somehow convinced herself that Naruto would swoop in and come and save her.
Was it her fault for being stupid and naive? Yes but she couldn't help but feel a little resentment. He didn't even come to the wedding. He never even said goodbye.
"Get a chair in here!" His voice was deeper.
Soon a chair was put in front of his desk. Slowly her father and Naruto helped her sit into the chair.
She could feel the painful seat dig into her tail bone. How much weight had she lost?
"Hiashi-sama if you please just give me and Hinata some privacy."
Her father hesitated but nodded and left them alone.
"Hinata?"
She realized that her eyes were trained to the floor. He never let her look at him. He told her it was disobedience to stare directly into his eyes.
Slowly she looked up at him. A sad smile graced his lips.
Don't you dare feel sorry now. Don't you dare smile like that. Hinata's heart lurched and tightened.
She wanted to scream at him all while hugging him.
"Hinata. Your father and I tried to get you out of there sooner. But we couldn't risk a war with Kumo. His family holds a great deal of power...But had I known it was this bad..." he trailed off balling his tanned hands into a fist.
She said nothing. What is there to say? She waited until he spoke again.
"No one knows that you're here yet. But soon everyone will know that you're divorced. They won't know anything else."
It was left unsaid. They won't know that she was abused, beaten, starved. They won't know the months spent in a dark room that had nothing but a bed and bucket to piss in.
She just smiled a smile that didn't reach her eyes and nodded at him.
A few moments of suffocating silence descended on the room.
"Hinata.. you have to sign this paper for the divorce to finalized."
His hand reached out a small pen in his grasps. Slowly she took the pen out of his hand and into her own.
Her hand shook as her eyes scanned the paper. Freedom in one stroke of a pen.
She may have been freed from him as soon as she signed that paper. But she would never be free from her memories.
"Hinata... I... I am so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there Hinata." His deep voice laced with regret.
She smiled that smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
Naruto didn't see the same shy, timid girl he once knew. He saw a starved, weakened woman in front of him. Her face was gaunt. Her body frail you would think she was 15 not 23.
Her father took her to the hospital. She had to be checked and evaluated. Once that was over they had to start the refeeding process.
After probing and prodding and instructing her to how she must re feed herself her father finally took her home.
She heard hush whispers as she made her way through the familiar halls. She wished to see her sweet sister but she never came out.
"Father.. where is Hanabi?"
"She's out on a mission she'll be back soon."
They arrived at her old room. It was exactly how she remembered it to be. White and lavender bedding. White walls with a closet that was filled with balms and oils that she had once made.
Her father pulled down the blanket and slowly helped her into bed. He tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead. She felt like she was five and it felt so comforting.
"Sleep now. Rest. I will let one of the maids make you something to eat and help you eat soon. Remember what the doctor said."
Hinata nodded she was not allowed anything heavy only soups for now and she had to eat slowly.
Soon Hinata feel asleep. In her warm bed. In the four walls that were safe. She could leave this room when she wanted to.
For now she was free.
But memories never disappear they never allow you to truly be free. They haunt you forever reminding you over your pain.
There are some things not really explained right now. Hinata's memories through out the story will fill in the blanks
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