A/N: Hello! So actually, I've been in an angst mood, especially being grounded, and i've been reading fiction (maybe because I a little too obsessed with Spring awakening..because it's Tres Awesome) and I either write or do poetry, and I took a long hiatus from writing, and yeah as I said; when you're grounded(even a week away from being 18) you need something besides moping and blasting depressing music..so Here it is! I have another chapter already for this, which I know, I know surprising coming from me. Okay so I don't own Glee(because would so still be happening if I did) and I don't own Jonathan Groff or Lea Michele; because (much to my dissapointment) it's still kind of illegal to own people, and I'd probably marry Jonathan Groff even I did (Yes I am fully aware of his sexuality; but If I can dream of owning people, I can certainly dream of this..don't tell my boyfriend..even though Jonathan Groff is beyond words.) So fantasies aside, here's my story:
Summer was always the hardest.
It was then, with summer longing on the fringes of springtime she could hear the promises whispered in the wind; invisible fingers toying in the dark tresses of her hair. It was then she could swear, he was there, arms encircling her waist as he promised her the world of Manhattan,as he planned out their future together..as Broadway's newest sensations; a deep laugh resonating within his broad chest skittering across the skies and promises dancing through her subconscious along the horizon with the setting sun.
I love you.
I loved you.
Funny thing about the sun, though it was two faced..Just like him- promising the hopeful rays of morning as it rose in the east; only to give itself to the west; bring the darkening tendrils of night to claim it's sun starved victims. But wasn't that Jesse? The perfect gentleman, with his bronze colored locks, eyes burning holes deep into her soul, promising her his heart and ripping it away-
like…like magic.
She stands outside; palms open in a slightly over dramtic embrace with the sky, no one but herself and the sun..where she can close her eyes and breathe him in almost…remember them and him; because she's certain that's all she has left of him,
she's almost certain that's all she wants to have left of him- and she's glad no one can see her so vulnerable.
This is when she takes off her show face, and sets her mask on the shelf, this is when she allows herself to hurt and feel the pain, to embrace the summer longing; to deal with her own longing. This is when she isn't Rachel Barbra Berry* future Broadway star, this is when she isn't Rachel Berry* leader of new directions, or power couple to super jock Finn Hudson..
She's just Rachel,
The broken shell of a naïve girl who got her heart broken; because even though she's sixteen and grown up, she's still alone and she's still hurting.
She breaths,
Calming yoga breaths, that her college fund therapist taught her; though she'd never tell that turtle like man of her true heart's yearning and ultimate suffering. In and out like the ocean coming to shore…
In these moments she doesn't cry-
God, she was done crying over him, and further more she never saw the point in wasting her time with such petty sorrow..tears meant she was weak and she couldn't afford to be weak; she couldn't afford to break anymore than she had already broken.
No she doesn't cry, she breathes and she remembers.
And as the sun tempts it's way into the final hours of sunlight, dancing seductively, calling it's final bows for the day, she lets her mind wander breifly, if only for a moment, thousands of miles to the golden promises of Los Angeles California.
"Good night" she whispers, like she did when she was little on the evening star, only this plea is a secret message to the wind, to him…
Do you still think about me? Can you still hear me heart beat as I do yours? Do you remember?
Do you care?
A/N: So there the first one! As I said another chapter already written, and will be up shortly. As for me continuing; here's what y'all need to understand: I write purely on inspiration; so if a better idea comes along or I have a muse I write with it. If it doesn't I don't update. This maybe a M story- it will be if I continue further, so I'm just going to put it as such..Read and reveiw because I cannot get better if no one tells me what I need to improve on, and leave me a message after the beep and I should return a reply promptly. Thanks for reading and I hope this wasn't too much a waste of time!
**See you with the stars**