(Name) felt like a blank piece of paper – a canvas devoid of design. You went through personalities like people went through moods; nothing lasted long nor did anything ever leave an impression on you. You felt as if the world had swallowed you up whole and spat you out when all the flavour was gone: like bubblegum.
You had moved to Ikebukuro when you was too young and naïve to know anything about the world. You thought it was bright and filled with adventures (yes, once you too had silly romantic ideas like that). The glamour of the life it promised left you breathless and each day was an anxious rush to the next.
That is, until you was hit by the reality of the turgid city.
It could all be summed up in one man: the one and only man you had ever had the misfortune of falling in love with. Correction: the only man you had been MANIPULATED into falling in love with. Izaya Orihara – not that there was a single person alive who didn't know the name of this vile creature.
You met him when you were still vibrant and hopeful, still wanting something more from your life. The moment you caught his eye though, you were doomed. A man like him took what he wanted and you were no exception: the only difference was that unlike his other toys, he never got tired of you.
No, you were the bird that learnt to bend the bars of the cage he had trapped you in; the rabbit that kept trying to run away from him; the hidden colouring book that kept trying to be painted anew. He adored you but despised you.
Yes, you were a human that Izaya loathed. You never stopped amusing him: whether it was the weeks during which he couldn't get hold of you because you were trying to get out of his town, or the one night stands you had with everyone but him or even the jobs you took to avoid coming home – because he was there.
Yes, you were definitely interesting: nothing seemed to break you. Not even him. But he hated that – he was sick of you. Sick of how well he had come to know your body, how distinctly he can taste you on his lips, how easily he could realise when you were upset – and how natural it had become for him to comfort you at those moments.
Yet that wasn't what he detested you for the most. No, it wasn't such petty things. It wasn't even how you could make his stomach flip by simply gasping out his name or make his chest hurt when you started crying. Imagine that – he would actually feel upset when you cried. He lived for tears! He lived for pain and other people's suffering. But you had ruined even that for him.
You had destroyed him. But that wasn't the worst of it, no. Your biggest crime was making him fall in love with you – without ever bothering to return the favour.