It was a perfectly normal day.
The sun was shining, the sky was blue and clear, and there was a pleasant breeze in the air that didn't wreck Chloe's hair, and so there was peace and quiet around Collège Françoise Dupont as everyone made their way out of the school to freedom.
Not a single Akuma in sight!
Sheer perfection.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE – CRASH! BANG!
Until a limo suddenly careened round the corner and immediately crashed into a lamppost. Everyone turned to stare with horrified wide eyes as they took in the massive dent in the bonnet of what used to be an elegant car. They were all so dumbstruck at the sight (had Chloe finally driven her driver to drink? Or did Adrien's bodyguard get attacked from behind and this was some random carjacker?) that no one thought to use their mobile phones to actually call for help.
The back door opened and then –
"ROAR!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Majority of the girls and half of the boys (though they will deny it the next day) screamed shrilly. "CROCODILE!"
They then quickly scattered and fled the scene as quickly as they could before they gotten eaten or something. The front door of the limo opened up and Jagged Stone staggered out, his platform heeled boots doing nothing to help him regain his balance as he blearily stared out into the crowd of adolescents.
"MARINETTE!" he half howled, half sang as his drowsy gaze landed on the dumbstruck pig-tailed girl. "I need you! You're my only hope! My only friend! Fang has been useless!"
"Grr!" Fang growled disgruntledly.
"J-J-J-Jagged St-St-Stone!" Marinette stammered out, baffled. "W-w-w-what happened?! Where's Penny? Should I call her?"
"No, no, no, NO!" Jagged stomped his foot and pouted childishly. "I can't talk to Penny, and Fang has been unhelpful, and I have no other trusted friends here. This city is filled with snoopy, nosey, press or sneaky snitches that'll tattle on me to the press!"
Sheepishly, Alya hastily put her mobile away. She had just been filming for her blog when Jagged uttered those words. "Heh," she smiled weakly.
"Erm….okay?" Marinette said hesitatingly. "What do you need my help on? Is it another album or costume thing?"
"Not here," Jagged quickly looked from side to side, "ears everywhere! Come with me!"
"Wait," Marinette flushed, "WHAT?!"
Jagged suddenly lunged forward and snatched Marinette's wrist up before he suddenly dragged her across the pavement and all but unceremoniously chucked her in the limo as Fang, who grumbled and snarled the whole way, climbed in after her.
He then jumped back into the driving seat, slammed the door, and drove off without a backward glance to the bewildered, baffled, stunned, and rather horrified crowd of children.
"Did…" Nino blinked, "….did Jagged Stone just kidnap Marinette?!"
"Oh my God!" Rose shrieked as she clutched her face in terror. "Marinette has just been kidnapped by Jagged Stone and freaking crocodile!"
"No way!" Kim scoffed. "There's no way the Jagged Stone would kidnap someone."
"Unless he's Akumatised again," Max pointed out logically, "maybe Marinette's five minutes of fame for his album cover got too long and he's having his revenge."
The crowd broke out into hysterical babbles at that as they whispered amongst themselves.
"Jagged Stone Akumatised!"
"Oh my God!"
"Marinette Dupain-Cheng kidnapped!"
"I heard she fought to the death!"
"I saw her – so pale and ghastly with fear!"
"Crocodile!"
"So scary!"
"Marinette was bleeding!"
"Crocodile themed Akuma kidnapped Marinette Dupain Cheng!"
"I heard it bit her in half!"
"Will Ladybug's Miraculous Cure heal her?!"
Adrien Agreste had ducked into the bathroom with his world being perfectly ordinary only to come out five minutes later to hear that a monstrous crocodile-themed Akuma had suddenly crashed into the school grounds and attacked Marinette before he dragged her bleeding, limp, body into his hearse of doom and drove off.
His face paled rapidly at the very thought.
He immediately turned back and dived right into the bathroom before he ripped open his bag. "Did you hear that?!" he cried out.
"Meh," Plagg shrugged, "I don't pay attention to schoolyard gossip."
"Plagg!" Adrien hissed furiously. "Take this seriously! Marinette has just been attacked by a crocodile themed Akuma! She could be dangling off the Eiffel Tower with her arm half torn off!"
"How would the crocodile get them both up the Eiffel Tower?" Plagg asked blankly. "Wouldn't a sewer be more appropriate?"
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Adrien bellowed. "The point is, Marinette has been kidnapped, and she is in danger, and she could be very frightened and bleeding, and it's up to Chat Noir to save her!"
"Teenagers," Plagg rolled his eyes, "drama queens, the lot of them."
"Plagg!" Adrien gritted his teeth. "Transform me!"
MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB
Marinette wasn't sure how she got here.
One minute she was leaving school on a boring day (finally! A day without a Akuma attack or two) and then the next she was sitting in the most luxurious penthouse suite Chloe's hotel had to offer with Fang's head in her lap and Jagged Stone staring at her with the biggest, pleading, kitty eyes she has ever seen.
And she babysits Manon!
"Okay, okay, okay!" Marinette caved. "I'll help you! Whatever you want!"
"Really?!" Jagged's eyes sparkled with childish joy and hope. "Oh thank you Marinette!" Marinette squeaked and flushed as Jagged suddenly flung his arms round her and squeezed her hard. "You're the best friend ever – after Fang and Penny, of course," he added solemnly.
"Of course, "Marinette agreed with equal graveness, "Now how can I help you? Do you need another pair of sunglasses?"
"Nah, nothing as small and silly as that," Jagged stretched out. He was full of his usual confident swagger (which, when she thought about it, eerily reminded her of Chat Noir) but there was something missing in it. Something vulnerable in his eyes that he couldn't quite hide. "Penny was Akumatised earlier this week," Jagged said softly as he kept his eyes lowered down to his knees, "it was scary."
"Yeah," Marinette murmured, "it was."
She had come so close to losing her Miraculous. It has never been that close before, it had never been that scary before, and she was sure she was going to have nightmares about it for months to come.
"For a moment I thought I lost Penny forever," Jagged continued, "and then I realised – I can't live without Penny!" he looked up and met Marinette's gaze with a terrifying intensity. "I can't live without my girl, Marinette, I just can't! You know, she does everything for me? Everything! She makes sure my breakfasts are awesome, and my life goes smooth and easy, and she inspires most of my songs, and panders to my every need. My life is all rock n' roll because of her. Without her it would be….would be….would be bubble-gum pop music!"
Jagged and Marinette shuddered simultaneously at the very thought of that.
"That's really sweet of you, Jagged," Marinette smiled, "I'm happy you've found love." Jagged preened at that and Marinette had to restrain an eye roll. "But that still doesn't explain why you need my help!"
"Ah," Jagged deflated at that, "well you see…" he smiled at her sheepishly, "I don't know how to tell Penny that I love her."
"And you think I'm the best person to give you advice?!" Marinette shrieked. "I can barely say hello to my crush without stuttering up a storm and walking into something! I can't help you with something that even I can't do!"
"But….but….but….I have no one else!" Jagged wailed melodramatically. "Fang has been no help and I can't ask Penny how to confess my love to her, it totally beats the objective of sweeping her off her feet and taking off into the sunset like the awesome rock n roll star I am! And according to Mylene Haprèle's Facebook page, you totally helped her and Ivan get together, and so I thought you could help me!"
"According to Mylene's Face – Jagged Stone!" Marinette snapped, horrified. "Have you been cyberstalking my classmates?!"
"I was bored!" Jagged whined. "Every time I try to leave this room there is this bossy, bratty, blonde girl that tries to make me sign everything so she can, and I quote, woo her Adri-kins to her side forever," Jagged shuddered as Marinette felt her eye twitch at that – urgh, of course this was somehow Chloe's fault! "I was just curious to what sort of friends my favourite little designer was friends with, and is it really my fault that Mylene Haprèle is the only friend of yours that doesn't use privacy settings?"
"No," Marinette sighed, "I suppose not."
Though he really shouldn't have been looking in the first place!
Marinette was going to have words with Mylene about using privacy settings online. Jagged was harmless (she thinks) but that doesn't mean someone more harmful is reading Mylene's posts for a sinister reason.
The thought of Hawk Moth trolling through her friends' social media profiles in hopes of finding her gave Marinette the chills.
"So pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!" Jagged begged with hands clasped beneath his chin and his eyes wide and bright as any other innocent little child. "Help me get with Penny like you helped Ivan and Mylene!"
"I don't know," Marinette said doubtfully, "my advice ended up getting Ivan Akumatised for a second time. Are you sure you want my help?"
"I'm sure it won't end exactly the same way," Jagged waved a dismissive hand, "Penny's used to me screaming lyrics in her face."
Good grief! How detailed were Mylene's posts online? Marinette was definitely going to be having words with her later!
"Well not screaming the words is definitely a good start," Marinette grinned, "I suggest you take Penny to a romantic setting. Something special and unusual so she knows you're being serious."
"Ooh! Sounds truly rock n' roll!" Jagged said eagerly. "What kind of special and unusual romantic setting are you thinking of?"
"Well," Marinette smiled dreamily as a hazy, happy, memory came back to her, "you could always decorate a rooftop, one with a good view of the city, with fairy lights and candles, and sprinkle rose petals all over the place, and play a love song for her before you declare your intentions."
"That's rockin' romantic, Mari," Jagged said. Then a sly teasing smirk flickered across his face as his eyes gleamed mischievously. "Is that how you hope the blonde boy on your wall confesses his love for you?"
"W-w-w-what?!" Marinette spluttered as she blushed fiercely. "Adrien? With over the top romantic confessions? No, I don't think that, of course I don't, we just friends, I'm a fan of him – I mean his work, yeah, his work," she threw her head back and tried to laugh, "Heh, heh, heh, heh…."
She failed miserably, of course.
Jagged gave her a sympathetic look that made Marinette squirm with humiliation. "I'm sure he'll see what an awesome rock n' roll girl you are one day," he said softly, "and if he doesn't, then he's definitely not rock n' roll and then some real rock n' roll awesome guy will come and sweep you off your feet just the way you deserve."
Marinette flushed as she tried desperately hard to not think about Chat Noir.
Though he was definitely the very definition of a rock n' roll guy.
If rock n' roll guys liked stupid puns.
Marinette shook her head and willed herself into thinking nothing about Chat Noir. Again. It was becoming an uncomfortably regular thing. "Never mind about me," she said firmly, "let's focus on you. Have you thought about what you're going to say to Penny?"
Jagged groaned. "None of the words seem right!" he complained. "It's like trying to compose a song and regurgitating the same stuff in my last album. I'm stuck! That's why I came to you," he gave Marinette big, wide, kitty eyes. "Marinette help me!" he begged.
"Well," Marinette said uncomfortably, "what you said earlier about how important Penny is to you is a very good start."
"But it doesn't feel enough!" Jagged whined. "They seem empty and hollow, like a label produced number one without any soul. Like an XY song!"
They both shuddered again at the thought.
"If you speak from the heart," Marinette said reassuringly, "like I know you do with your songs, then I know Penny will know you are true."
Jagged nodded doubtfully. "Will you help me practise?" he blurted out. "To make sure the words sound all right?" he widened his eyes again and jutted out his bottom lip into a childish pout and once again Marinette briefly wondered exactly who was supposed to be the child in this scenario. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!" Jagged dragged out pleadingly. "Only you know how to make this love confession truly rock n' roll."
Marinette sighed. "All right," she relented (because she was spineless and her other option was to abandon a friend, go home, and do homework), "but just for a little while. I need to go home soon."
"All right!" Jagged howled. "Let's rock n' roll this confession to the epic levels."
Marinette grinned at the older man's enthusiasm. "Where do you want to start?" she asked.
"Well, Penny is a good start," Jagged said sheepishly, "and then I want to tell her how she's so important to me, and that I think she's totally rock n' roll, and that I want us to be together forever like Ozzy and Sharon."
"Then do so!" Marinette encouraged. "From your heart, like always."
Jagged closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Penny," he said softly, "since the day you crashed into my life you have been nothing but pure rock n' roll awesome. You have helped me with every aspect, from making sure breakfast is a truly rock n' roll time, to making sure all the boring crap like interviews and stage tech go smoothly for me, to ensuring I have all I could want, to even inspiring my songs. Without you, I would just be the rock without the roll. You are the most beautiful, kindest, patient, and incredible person I know, and I love you for it. I can't see my life without you in it, would you consider being my forever girl?"
"Jagged!" Marinette gasped as she blinked tears back. "That was really sweet! I think-"
CRASH!
"Don't worry Fang baby!" Jagged cried out dramatically as he lunged at Marinette. "Daddy will protect you!"
"EEK!"
Marinette then found herself sprawled out on her back as she was crushed beneath both a gigantic crocodile and a heavy thirty something year old man as glass from the window shattered all over the carpet. Her face burned with the embarrassment of it all.
This is it! She thought melodramatically. This is how I'm going to die! Crushed beneath a crocodile and a rock star….Oh God! Mum and Dad are going to be so ashamed of me!
There was a soft thump and Marinette strained herself to look back to see, much to her everlasting horror and humiliation, Chat Noir crouched on the ground. His beautiful green eyes glowed furiously as the most hateful snarl stretched across his face.
"You," he spat out in revulsion, "get your dirty paws off of her, you creepy pervert!"
It then occurred to Marinette that she was pinned to the sofa by a grown thirty something year old man-child who had just dragged her off school property to his hotel room while confessing to have cyberstalked all of her friends….
….yeah, it really doesn't look good.
Someone please kill her now.
MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB
Chat Noir had all but torn the city apart in his frantic search for Marinette.
He had gone to all the obvious spots where Akumas like to torture their victims, like the Eiffel Towers, and the TV Studio, and a look round school again but there was no sign. After all but screaming into innocent civilian faces when he questioned them, he had determined that Jagged Stone had kidnapped Marinette and dragged her off to his hotel room.
The implications of that filled his insides with icy dread as he raced off back to Chloe's hotel without a second thought.
He barely got to the right window in time as just as he landed on the ledge he could hear Jagged confessing his love to a teenage girl.
A thirty something year old man confessing hi love to a teenage girl!
"….Without you, I would just be the rock without the roll," Jagged could be heard saying, and Chat Noir's stomach turned over with disgust and nausea. Never again was he ever going to buy one of this creep's albums. "You are the most beautiful, kindest, patient, and incredible person I know, and I love you for it." Chat Noir couldn't help but nod his head in agreement, Marinette was one of the most amazing and nicest girls he knew but that didn't excuse Jagged putting his dirty paws all over her! She was fifteen! "I can't see my life without you in it, would you consider being my forever girl?"
Oh hell no! Chat thought furiously.
"Jagged!" Marinette cried out, and Chat bristled as he could hear a tremor of fear in her voice. He could just imagine that was she was terrified and horrified that some adult that she had trusted and kidnapped her and forced his pervy feelings on her. "That was really sweet! I think-"
And that was when Chat Noir lost his temper for good.
He could just predict what was going to happen. That Marinette will gently try to let Jagged Stone's feelings down and get out without looking like she was running away only for Jagged to react badly, and then she'll stay to comfort him because she was just so damn nice, and then Jagged would force himself on her, and before he knew it Marinette will be kidnapped once more to be Jagged Stone's secret child bride!
Well not on his watch!
CRASH!
Without a second thought Chat Noir jumped through the window and let the glass shatter all over the carpet. Don't worry Marinette! He thought fiercely as he could hear his blood pumping rapidly with righteous fury in his ears while he landed on his feet like the super cool hero he was, I'll save you!
"EEK!" Marinette screamed.
He lifted his head to look up and catch the truly disgusting sight of Jagged Stone sprawled out all over Marinette, like a depraved animal.
His blood boiled at the very sight of it.
"You," he spat out in revulsion, "get your dirty paws off of her, you creepy pervert!"
At this point Marinette turned so red that her cheeks rivalled Ladybug's scarlet suit. "It's not what it looks like!" she wailed despairingly.
Which was obviously what she would say when it was exactly what it looked like! Poor Marinette's kind heart had been manipulated into defending her kidnapper like any other groomed Stockholm syndrome victim!
Chat Noir gritted his teeth and balled his hands into fists as he fought back the urge to use Cataclysm on Jagged Stone until he was nothing but a pile of ash.
You're a superhero! He reminded himself. It would look bad if you suddenly murdered a famous rock star!
To add salt to injury, Jagged Stone merely blinked bewilderedly at Chat with the biggest – fakest, if you ask him! – childlike innocent expression. "Chat Noir, what's with the totally uncool and un-rock n' roll attitude?" Jagged complained. "Did someone stick your baton up your-?"
Chat silently snarled as he grabbed Jagged by the collar of his jacket and hauled him off of Marinette. "I said get off of her, you creep!" he hissed furiously.
He then froze and blinked in bewilderment himself as he saw Fang also on top of Marinette. The grumpy crocodile merely glowered at Chat Noir before he jumped off Marinette and waddled off into the bedroom as he huffed out disgusted grunts.
Chat then whirled round to face Jagged with his best, intimidating-the-bad-guys glare he could muster. "What weird kinky shit were you trying to drag my Princess into?!" he shouted, outraged.
"Whoa, whoa, none of that!" Jagged waved his hands up defensively. "That's really un-rock n' roll language right there! And totally uncalled for! There was nothing un-rock n' roll going on here! I would never lay a finger on Marinette like that! Who do you think I am, some film producer?"
"Liar!" Chat hissed. "I just walked in on you being all over her like fleas on a dog!" Jagged opened his mouth, probably to make up some lie to make the scenario sound like an innocent misunderstanding, but Chat was going to let him worm out of this one. "Immediately after I just heard you confess your love to her and ask her to be your forever girl which, I must remind you, was just after you kidnapped her off of school property!"
"I didn't kidnap her!" Jagged protested. "Marinette came willingly, didn't you Marinette?"
"Erm…." Marinette avoided all eye contact as both Chat and Jagged turned to stare at her. "I would have come willingly if you asked first," she mumbled awkwardly.
Chat returned to glare at Jagged murderously.
"Seriously!" Jagged said desperately. "It was purely innocent! Marinette was just helping me work out how to confess my love to a truly rock n' roll lady!"
"It really is!" Marinette agreed earnestly. "Jagged only wanted my help!"
Chat stared at them suspiciously. His emerald gaze boring into them as he tried to see any signs of them lying or Marinette trying to blink out a plea for help in Morse code, but Jagged looked wide-eyed and innocent as a child and Marinette gazed back calmly without a shadow of fear in her beautiful, sky-blue, eyes.
"All right," Chat relented as he let Jagged go, "I believe you, but next time you ask her parents first!" he added sternly.
"Whew!" Jagged staggered back and dramatically wiped his forehead. "You got it Chat Noir! I'll be on my best rock n' roll behaviour in future." He then sank back down onto the plush sofa and grinned up at Marinette. "You sure you want to stay all hung up over this Adrien kid? 'Cause I think you have one smitten kitten here who'll definitely give you candles and rose strewn rooftops."
Chat Noir choked at that.
Marinette didn't fare better either as she spluttered incoherently. "I-I-I-I-you-what-Meep!" she squeaked out as her cheeks turned a deep pink. "I didn't say anything about being hung up on Adrien or anything about Chat Noir and rooftops with candles and roses!" she babbled out, her voice getting higher and higher with panic. "I said nothing at all! Not one thing! Nope! Ha, ha, ha," she laughed uneasily, "you're such a kidder, Jagged!"
Jagged's eyes sparkled with amusement at that. "You're not fooling anyone, Marinette!" he teased. "You're just as smitten as he is!" he jabbed a thumb in Chat's direction.
"What do you mean she's hung up over this Adrien kid?!"
It took a while for Chat to realise he had spoken. His voice had gone all weird and croaky that it didn't sound like his voice while he didn't feel like he was actually here. He felt so lost and detached that he was beginning to wonder if he was suffering an out of body experience from the shock of what he had just heard.
"Oh kid," Jagged said sympathetically, "Marinette has this massive crush on Adrien Agreste. It's gigantic! You could see it from the moon, it's so obvious."
"JAGGED!" Marinette shrieked.
"She has?!"
"Oh yeah," Jagged nodded eagerly, "why do you think she has all those posters of him on her walls?"
"You said it was because you were a big fan!" Chat cried out as he whirled round to face Marinette. She had gone back to scarlet red as she tried to hide her face behind her hands and moaned quietly to herself. "You lied!"
"Well, of course I was going to say that!" Marinette huffed as she dropped her hands to level a defensive glare at him. "I couldn't just admit I have a crippling crush on- wait a minute!" Marinette cut herself off as her eyes widened in horror. "I said that to Adrien, how did you hear about it?!"
"I, erm, well," Chat felt his palms sweat as he tried to keep his cool, suave, attitude. "I was in the locker room at the time!" he said triumphantly. "Yeah, I was right there when you said it to Adrien."
Marinette frowned at that. "No you weren't," she said quietly, "the locker room was empty but for me and Adrien."
"No, no," Chat said quickly, "I was there, you just didn't see me."
"I didn't see you," Marinette gritted her teeth, "because you weren't there!"
"Yeah I was," Chat insisted, "I was, erm, ah, hiding! Yeah," he nodded emphatically, "I was hiding! Behind the lockers! I'm a very shy person outside of the mask."
"Pfft!" Marinette snorted disbelievingly.
"I am!" he wailed.
"You're lying!" Marinette persisted. "There was no one there! I think I would remember someone creeping behind the lockers!"
"Oh my God!" Jagged burst out irritably. "He's Adrien! That's how he knows!"
"What?" Chat said nervously. "No, I'm not!"
"What?" Marinette said at the same time. "No, he isn't!"
"Yeah, he is" Jagged grinned, "it's really obvious now that I think about. Of course he's that Adrien kid, why else would he know what you said to Adrien when there was no one in the room?"
Chat Noir blanched as he saw his identity being unravelled before his very eyes. How was it that Jagged Stone was able to find him out with just a couple sentences?!
Ladybug was going to kill him.
"No," Marinette said numbly, "no, no, it just….can't be!" she shook her head so fast that her pigtails smacked her cheeks. "No way!"
"I don't see why it's a bad thing," Jagged shrugged, "after all you're Ladybug."
There was a beat of silence as Chat inhaled sharply and Marinette looked as if she had just been slapped, and then –
"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!"
"What?!" Chat squeaked. "You mean you are?!"
Jagged threw his head back and laughed delightedly. "Ah, Marinette," Jagged smiled fondly, "you took me to your school as a safe house. No one would think a school was a safe place unless they went there. So when I wanted to send some tickets to Ladybug as a thank you I looked through your school's yearbook. Do you know you're the only girl in your school with black-blue hair in pigtails, big blue eyes, and freckles? It was so obvious!"
Chat Noir wanted to hit his head against something hard for being such an idiot.
Because Jagged was right! Now that it has been said, he could see the similarities. The same beautiful, blue, eyes, the same shiny black-blue hair neatly tied into pigtails, the same creamy pale skin, the same adorable freckles, the same sweet, pink, highly kissable, lips. Marinette held herself the same way Ladybug does when she's being brave and leader-y. And Ladybug in her most vulnerable moments held herself like Marinette did at her most timid and shyest moments.
He could remember the first time he ever met Ladybug and how she fumbled and stumbled, and collided into him, like Marinette did on a daily basis. And when he thought about the very first time he met Marinette, she had stomped right up to him and yelled in his face in a Ladybug fashion when she lost her temper.
And he can only ever remember one time Marinette and Ladybug were at the same place, same time and that was when time travel was involved!
"You….you…..you….." he stammered uselessly as he suddenly found himself incapable of speech. "I mean….I…..you…."
"Yeah….." Marinette whispered. "I know, I mean, you, me, I, you, erm, can't, you, ah, I mean – Gah!" she tugged at her pigtails.
"Never mind about that!" Jagged jumped back to his feet. "You're both young and beautiful, you have plenty of time to talk about yourselves. What about my problems?! Penny comes back any minute now and I still have perfected my love declaration! Marinette!" Jagged snatched up Marinette's hands and clasped them to his chest. "Help me! My confession sounded incredibly un-rock n' roll, I said nothing about how her eyes shine like stars or how kissable her lips are."
"And you're not going to!" Chat snapped irritably as he grabbed hold of Marinette's shoulder and pulled her close. "I'm taking her home."
"Wait," Marinette blinked, "what?!"
"You can't!" Jagged cried out. "I need her!"
"Find someone else!" Chat spat out as he scooped Marinette up into his arms. "Preferably someone who isn't a teenage girl that you dragged out of school!"
"What the hell?!" Marinette squirmed. "We've just explained it's nothing creepy! I can take myself home later! Chat, put me down now!"
Chat Noir ignored Marinette's protests entirely as he stepped up onto the window ledge. "Next time, Jagged Stone – get parental permission!" he said firmly before he then leaped into the air.
"WAIT!" Jagged screamed after them. "DON'T LEAVE ME! WHO ELSE IS GOING TO HELP ME CONFESS MY LOVE TO PENNY?!"
"…..What?!"
Jagged slowly turned round to see Penny standing in the doorway with her eyes wide and round with surprise, her jaw dropped, and her cheeks a bright, adorable, flaming red…
Goddamnit!
This was totally not the rock n' roll confession he had in mind!
MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB
Marinette went to school the next day in a total daze.
She had pinched herself repeatedly since Adrien had left her home last evening and she still couldn't comprehend the events of the day before whatsoever. It was like a bizarre dream come to life with Jagged Stone turning up the way he did, that she ended up in such an over the top compromising position, and her secret identity being blown in the least dramatic way possible.
It even ended with Adrien kissing her senseless like all of her dreams usually do!
So understandably she half believed it hadn't happened at all despite the fact her lips were still slightly swollen from Adrien's fervent kisses.
Right up until a long black limo pulled up beside her and Jagged stepped out with the biggest, widest, and cheeriest grin Marinette has ever seen.
"MARINETTE!" He half howled, half sang.
He rushed towards her with is arms spread wide as if he was about to capture Marinette up into a bone-crushing bear hug but before he could collide into her, Marinette was suddenly tugged aside and Jagged's arms clung to thin air as he staggered clumsily along the pavement.
Marinette's face burned with embarrassment as she found herself suddenly surrounded by Adrien. His arm was tightly wrapped round her as her face was mushed up against the side of his chest. All she could see and feel was the bright white cotton of his shirt, all she could smell was his elusive comforting scent mingled with cheese, and all she could hear was his own heart pumping fiercely.
"Hiss!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jagged held his hands out in a surrendering gesture. "Settle down Kitty!" he smirked. "I was only going to thank your precious Princess."
"Meep!" Marinette squeaked.
Her face flushed all over again as she felt Adrien's arm tighten around her. "Perhaps," Adrien said stiffly, "but I think the words parental permission might need repeating here."
"No need for those nasty un-rock n' roll implications!" Jagged exclaimed. "I have my own lady now, the most beautiful, talented, rock n' roll girl in Paris!" he added boastfully, "Penny has agreed to be my forever girl and it's all thanks to you two!"
"Oh!" Marinette gasped delighted. "Congratulations Jagged!"
"Yes," Adrien agreed warmly as his grip round Marinette's shoulders loosened a little, "Congratulations."
He then smiled one of his most radiant and sweetest smiles and Marinette all but melted into his arms as she tried to maintain some dignity and self-control. It was difficult as her mind kept trailing back to last night to when he brought her back to her balcony, de-transformed, and immediately pulled her into his warm embrace to kiss -
"So I just wanted to say thank you," Jagged continued, his voice loud and jarring that it snapped Marinette out from her daze, "even though my confession ended up being nowhere near as rock n' roll perfect as I wanted it to be, it worked, and I'm the happiest rock star on the charts as I have the perfect rock n' roll girl's love to keep me right. So here," he shoved an envelope into Marinette's hands, "tickets and backstage passes to my next show. I'll promise to give you a rock n' roll date."
"Erm…." Marinette mumbled nervously as she glanced up at Adrien's rather constipated expression. The poor wording of Jagged's words clearly didn't go over his head as it did the childish rock star. "Thank you?"
"And I wanted to apologise," Jagged said solemnly as his grin faded into a sheepish smile, "Penny had pointed out that my behaviour yesterday was not, ah, appropriate or rock n' roll, and can easily be misconstrued as something sinisterly un-rock n' roll, and I'm lucky that Chat Noir didn't cataclysm me right there on the spot."
"Very lucky," Adrien muttered darkly.
Marinette elbowed him at that.
It wasn't Jagged Stone's fault that he as oblivious to how creepy his behaviour is! He was simply a sweet naïve idiot! Besides his childish innocence was part of his charm!
"Ah that reminds me!" Jagged brightened up as he suddenly swooped across the pavement towards Mylene and snatched her hands up into his. Mylene stared up at him with an expression mingled with shock and pure terror. "Mylene Haprèle!" he cried out dramatically. "I solemnly apologise to you for going through your Facebook page like a creepy stalker. In my defence I only wanted to know more about Marinette's friends there was nothing un-rock n' roll motivation behind it. Here," he pressed an envelope between Mylene's trembling fingers, "have some tickets to my next show to make up for it. I hope you and Ivan have a rockin' anniversary next month!"
"…what?!" Mylene squeaked, terrified.
"Don't worry," Ivan rubbed Mylene's back soothingly as he glowered at Jagged (who hadn't noticed as he was autographing a passer-by's school bag), "I'll teach you how to put up privacy settings on your account."
Adrien and Marinette immediately face-palmed at this while Penny's exasperated sigh could be heard from inside the limo.
Jagged, however, just grinned manically as he held up two thumbs up at Marinette and Adrien. "I have to go now, I promised Penny the most romantic, rock n' roll, date Paris has to offer," he quickly shook Adrien's hand and gave Marinette an awkward one-armed hug (Adrien still wouldn't let her go!). "Thanks again! If you two lovebugs ever need a wedding singer – call me!"
And with that, Jagged Stone flounced off back into the limo leaving both Adrien and Marinette bright red in the face and unable to meet each other's eyes.
It was, of course, immediately all over the school that Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste had eloped yesterday and Jagged Stone had been their minister.
Chloe's scream of fury could be heard on the other side of Paris by Jagged and Penny as they were just about to lean in for a kiss over their ice cream cone from Andre's.
It really spoiled the rock n' roll mood!