A rare songfic from Leo. Ever wondered why Daisy even had kits with brat-face Spiderleg? Here's why.
She Said by Plan B
Happy Reading!
Signed,
Leo.
WARNING – Slightly suggestive themes, rated T because of this.
She Said
She said, "I love you boy, I love you so."
She said, "I love you baby, so-oh-oh-oh-oh."
She said, "I love you more than words could say."
She said, "I love you bay-ay-ay-ay-by."
It was for one night. That was it. All this pressure from Dustpelt wasn't doing me any good. He and Ferncloud wouldn't stop snooping in on my private life. So I went and showed them I could pull a she-cat. It was just to make them happy. And now I'm stuck with a cat I don't love, and two 'bundles of joy' (more like bundles of annoy). I was stupid, a fool who just had too many urges. I don't even know how I came to 'like' Daisy in the first place.
So I said, "What you're saying girl it can't be right.
"How can you be in love with me?
"We only just met tonight!"
She was so obviously smitten with me – I proved that much. I thought it was just going to end there – but no. She insisted on a night walk, then she did certain things and we were away. It felt right at the time, but now I don't think I can live with those two kits' faces looking at me.
So she said, "Boy, I've loved you from the start
"When I first heard that love goes down,
"Something started burning in my heart."
I swear she is completely infatuated with me. She just doesn't stop coming up to me and saying hi, and all this flirting is really starting to annoy me. As if there was anything there in the first place. I'm not cut out for fatherhood - or a mate. She's just so obsessed with me.
So I said, "Stop this crazy talk,
"And leave right now and close that door…"
I keep telling her, "No!", "Leave me alone!" but she is just completely oblivious! Stupid she-cats, always getting their noses into Warrior business, thinking they have the right to talk to you all the time. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone, and if it's not "Hi!", it's "Help me with the kits, Spiderleg," or "Fetch me a vole, Spiderleg!". When will that cat leave me alone for five minutes?
So now I'm up in the courts,
Pleading my case from the witness box,
Telling the judge and the jury the same thing that I said to the cops,
On the day that I got arrested
"I'm innocent," I protested,
She just feels rejected,
Had her heart broken by someone she's obsessed with.
Ferncloud and some of the other she-cats are getting suspicious – do they really think I would do something so cruel and perverted? I may not wanted any of this to happen, but I would never do something so demeaning. It would harm the reputation I have waited so long to build. But anywhere I go, I see evil glances and snide snickers from the side. It's not like she didn't want this – in fact she wanted it more than me!
So I said "Why the hell you gotta treat me this way?
"You don't know what love is, you wouldn't do this if you did,
Oh no no"
If this is what love was like with Smoky, StarClan help him. She has too much lust in her eyes, she doesn't realise I don't need her! And I'm supposed to be a father to these scraps of idiocy? Fat chance. You'll sooner see me mate with a hedgehog than be with her.
I know it's short. But drabbles are cool, right?
Review!
Leopardstorm