As You Wish (Chapter 1)
A/N: This was sparked by the animated Jo in the sneak peek for the holiday episode.
Don't own Eureka. Also have deleted the phrases "cancelled", "hiatus" and "series finale" from my vocabulary.
Although it contained the usual number of hours, Jo felt this particular Monday might never end. It had started badly and failed to improve as the day wore on.
The morning had begun with her idling in her car outside of Zane's townhouse before dawn. He had a flight to catch for his first post-pardon business trip since returning from the failed mission to Titan. Despite having spent the weekend arguing with him, she'd promised to drive him to the airport.
She'd never admit it to herself, much less Zane, but Jo felt compelled to see him safely into the air. She'd been driving away from Eureka when the Astraeus launch went disastrously wrong. The lives of everyone aboard had hung in the balance for days before they'd finally been rescued. Intellectually, she knew her presence at the mission launch site couldn't have altered the outcome, but a tiny voice of superstition told her otherwise. So here she was, waiting for Zane, their coffees-to-go getting cold.
Annoyed beyond words at his lateness, she slammed out of the car. A note was taped to his front door with her name scrawled across it. She snatched it and began to read:
I told you this would be easier if we just lived together. Instead of sitting in a cold car, you could have spent the morning like a princess-wrapped in my arms, a warm blanket and a hot shower.
Figured two days of fighting about it was enough for now. Took a cab to the airport.
See you when I get back.
Love, Zane
Speechless with indignation, Jo crumpled the note into a ball and threw it across the porch. "Princess, my ass," she sputtered. "You arrogant, thoughtless jerk-". She was nearly to her car when her sense of responsibility kicked in. Things were bad enough without adding littering to the day's events. Sighing, she went back up the porch steps to retrieve the discarded note and shoved it into her coat pocket. It was going to be a long day.
By its end, all Jo wanted to do was grab some dinner then crawl into bed. It seemed that everyone had been out of sorts today, as if the tedium of documenting the Astraeus mission failure was sucking the energy out of GD. Petty arguments broke out among even the most congenial co-workers. An unexpected inspection by General Mansfield put Jo's staff on edge. As its ground commander, Henry was taking the brunt of the DoD's ire over Astraeus' loss. Having been the ship's captain, Grace was under pressure as well, which made them both snappish.
Even Carter was unusually cranky, Allison having taken the kids for a long overdue visit with her mother. Several days of undiluted exposure to SARAH and Andy's AI love affair had ruined his appetite. So Jo wasn't surprised to find him unenthusiastically pushing food around his plate at the newly rebuilt Café Diem's counter.
"The happy computer couple getting on your nerves?" asked Jo sympathetically. "Yeah, not that I'm not happy for them, but all that cooing is really…" Carter stopped speaking as he turned toward Jo, but his mouth didn't close. As he stared, conversation around the restaurant sputtered then stalled. Coming through the kitchen door, Vincent stopped so quickly that the burger he was carrying slid off its plate. He didn't notice.
"What?" asked Jo, looking around in confusion. "Um, Jo…is there a costume party tonight I don't know about?" Carter had found his voice, but it was tinged with wonder. "Of course not," she sighed. "What are you talking about?" "About this," he answered, waving a hand up and down her figure. Following his hand with her eyes, she looked down. "This what-".
She stopped as if choked. What she saw was so surreal that her first reaction was to blink hard and shake her head. If she was dreaming, this would be a good time to wake up. Instead, she spun toward the plate glass window of Café Diem to check her reflection.
Jo was dressed like a princess straight out of a Disney fairy tale. A royal blue ballgown skirt fell in a bell shape from her waist to the floor. Above it, a silver lame bustier clung to her curves, ending below her throat in a sweetheart neckline. A chiffon cape swirled around her shoulders. Most astonishingly, a rhinestone-studded tiara was perched perkily on her head, a large pink stone embedded at its peak.
Carter appeared behind her in the glass. "So, getting ready for Halloween early?" he asked. "Carter, I did not put this on. I came here straight from work. I was wearing work clothes—you know, black suit, black shoes and no rhinestones." Murmurs had sprung up behind them. One brave but foolhardy soul dared a half-hearted wolf whistle. Jo whirled around, automatically reaching for the weapon that was usually tucked beneath her jacket. But when she whipped her hand up, it held only a twinkling scepter.
As giggles spread through the room, Carter grabbed Jo's elbow to steer her out the front door. A passing car swerved, recovering just before it would have clipped Carter's jeep. "This is ridiculous," Jo ground out. "Not to mention impossible. Even in Eureka, costumes don't just materialize on people." She threw the scepter away. It bounced, then returned to her hand.
Jo and Carter exchanged incredulous looks. Eyes wide, she slowly reached up to pull the cape from her shoulders. It floated to the ground, where it stayed for only a second before sweeping back onto Jo. "What the hell?" she gasped.
She narrowed her eyes at Carter, who was valiantly trying to stifle a laugh. "Carter, I can't go around dressed like this. I look like an idiot and Mansfield is in town. He's expecting to meet with me in the morning. With me, not Cinderella!"
Pressing his lips together, Carter got control over his amusement. "OK, we'll fix this." At Jo's raised eyebrows, he amended his statement. "Well, maybe Henry can fix it. Let's find him." He opened the passenger door of his jeep.
As Jo approached, he couldn't resist giving her a deep bow. "Your highness," he grinned. The effect of her glare was diminished significantly when she had to pull her sweeping skirt up into the car by handfuls. Carter reached to help, then jumped back when Jo swatted at him. By the time he settled into the driver's seat, the dress was inside, puffed around Jo like a satiny cloud. She refused to talk, staring silently out the windshield until they pulled into Henry's driveway.
He and Grace threw open their front door, having been alerted by a text from Carter that Jo needed their help. Even so, neither was prepared for the sight of Jo stepping from the jeep, tiara glowing in the reflected porch light. "Jo?" Grace asked doubtfully.
Jo held her hand up to forestall further questions. "I didn't put it on. It just appeared on me. And I can't take it off—ANY of it." At their shocked expressions, her voice softened. "Help me…please."
Her pleading broke the spell. Henry, Grace and Carter began a business-like debate of options for demoting Jo from her princess status. It was a short debate, the available choices for removing apparently sentient clothing being non-existent.
"Fine. So if we can't figure out how to stop whatever is going on, let's work out how it started," Carter suggested. "Who would want to make you look…" he struggled to find the least offensive adjective. "Ridiculous?" asked Jo dryly. "Like a princess," Henry interjected. "Beautiful," added Grace.
"And who is even capable of doing something like this? I mean, this is pretty far out there—magical ball gowns?" asked Carter. "Well," mused Henry. "It would have to be someone who is familiar with the creation and dissolution of matter. Which would require knowledge regarding the behavior of elements and their combination into…" Henry trailed off, eyes meeting Grace's.
"What?" demanded Carter. Henry cleared his throat, shooting a cautious look at Jo. "Well, elements that are present in all matter combine to form particles. Which, in turn, combine to form matter. So if you know…".
"Particle physics." Jo said flatly.
"If it's really possible to do this," Henry gestured toward her dress. "I think we can assume it's pretty possible," Carter responded wryly.
"So if anyone could find a way to make clothes appear on their own, it would be a particle physicist. That's what you're saying, isn't it?" Jo's tone bristled with anger. Henry just nodded. She flailed her arms in the air, rustling the cape. "I am going to KILL him. No, I'll maim him first, then I'll kill him...".
Carter broke in. "Jo, we don't know for sure it's Zane…". "Really?" Jo yelped. "Carter, look at me. Who else would do this?" Carter took in the sight of her. She looked like a brunette Barbie doll. Forcing his eyes not to linger, Carter registered that Zane had been thorough in his remake—it appeared as though he'd even included a push-up bra in the wardrobe.
A buzzing sound caused them all to pull out their PDAs. Carter, Henry and Grace shook their heads while Jo patted her hands over the gown. Huffing in surprise, she pulled her PDA from a hidden pocket. A text appeared on the screen below Zane's name:
Arrived OK.
Jo bit her lip. If Zane was the particle physicist responsible for her royal transformation, surely he'd be gloating now? The PDA buzzed again.
Forgot to tell you something. You should get home before midnight.
Jo punched in a quick reply.
Why?
Zane responded immediately.
Might have slipped up a bit—could be pumpkin time for your car.
Growling out loud, Jo punched the keys so hard the phone nearly flew from her hand.
You JACKA—
Her finger slipped, hitting send before the epithet was complete.
Sorry, will make it up to you w/ glass slipper IF you reconsider the moving question.
Ask yourself: would you rather just look like a princess or live like one?
Prince Charming
She threw the phone down. "It's Zane," she ground out through clenched teeth. "Take me to the airport, Carter. No, wait, we have to stop in my office first. I need a gun." She stomped away, muttering. Carter followed, calling after her. "Jo, wait…how are you even going to fit into an airplane seat with that on?"
Grace picked up Jo's discarded PDA, read Zane's message then extended it to Henry. He scanned the text and grinned. "Ah," said Henry. "The course of true love never did run smooth." "Well," Grace answered. "At least she gets a nice tiara out of the deal." After a beat, they both broke into laughter and started to their car. Undoing Zane's bit of Eureka magic might be impossible without his help, but the effort would nothing if not interesting.