AUTHORS NOTE:

Dear readers,

Disney fans,

Pixar fans,

And all Cars fans,

I present to you a collection of oneshots and mini fanfics that I will or already have thought up. They may include characters from the upcoming Pixar film, Cars 2, or some of my OCs, never before seen by human eyes. But, in general, they will be about Lightning McQueen and all of the hilarious and epic adventures he goes through within my mind.

The first fanfiction that will be featured in this collection is called "Snooping", a hilarious oneshot originally titled "Cotton Candy". I thought this up a day or two ago, then changed it up a bit so it was more of a solid story. In the first version, Ke$ha makes a cameo appearance at a racetrack and sings one of her new songs, "Grow A Pear", to Chick. But, unfortunately, that didn't make for a strong storyline and it had to be cut.

I have returned to for a few reasons:

1.) I love it here with all of the talented writers and epic stories.

2.) My computer can't handle making movies for YouTube anymore.

3.) Deviantart just gives my computer too many viruses.

4.) And I just can't stay away from it all any longer!

So… enjoy! Luv u all!

"Snooping"

Lightning McQueen was driving around the paddock at Palm Mile Speedway quite aimlessly. It was a gorgeous day, and he couldn't sit in his tent for any longer. As he was driving, he heard a familiar tune. He crept towards the sound, trying not to make it obvious that he was snooping. He thought he nearly went blind when the rounded the corner. There was all but Chick Hicks, acting completely ridiculous, dancing around to "California Gurls" by Katy Perry… with a hat in the shape of a cupcake on his head. On top of this, he was gorging on a huge barrel of neon pink cotton candy. McQueen couldn't help snorting then laughing obnoxiously. Chick froze in his tracks at an odd position with a disgustingly enormous mouthful of pink sticky fluff. McQueen leaped out of his hiding spot with a huge grin.

"Mf-feem?" Chick attempted to speak through the sugary masses. He quickly swallowed. "McQueen, what are you doing here?"

"Uhm, well Chick, I'm kinda here for the qualifiers… Ya know, for the piston cup and all?" the smartass retorted.

"Uh, ya, me too," Chick tried to cover up.

"How very interesting," McQueen drawled with a bored expression. Then his face lightened considerably, "Whatcha eatin' there, Chickster? Been piggin' out alot, lately?"

"No!" Chick panicked. He had to calm down or the kid would make him feel like an idiot.

"So… is it pink cotton candy?"

"What?"

"You can't even tell what you're eating?"

"Nonononononononono! Its thirty five gallons of neon dyed cotton candy!"

"Pink. Cotton candy."

"YES!"

"You must be so embarrassed." The song that was playing ended.

"Why the fuck would I be-"

An evil smirk appeared on the rookie's big face.

"Oh."

"You are so stupid, Thunder."

"You're such a little bitch, McQueen!"

A heavy southern accent boomed from above, "He nota beech! Hes-" a shadow grew on the ground next to Chick, "FRIGHTENING MCMEAN!" the voice exploded as its owner landed next to the green machine.

Chick screamed bloody murder. Literally, he screamed. It wasn't anything like how McQueen screamed (loud, loud yelling), and it was higher pitched than you would expect.

Even the Rust-eze car jumped backwards a bit, and Mater nearly fell over guffawing.

"Aye scared ya! Aye scared you bof!" Mater was laughing.

"Naw, you didn't scare me Mater, I just was surprised by how… almost girly Chick's scream was!" McQueen began laughing as well.

"Hey Chick, izzat yer hat? It fell of when you screamed." Mater pointed out the cupcake sombrero*, now laying on the hot asphalt.

"Um…" the racer looked down. "Ya."

"Oh cool! Whare'd ya get such a uh… edible lookin'… accessory?" Mater finished.

"Haha!" McQueen rolled back into the conversation. "Ya, get that one personally signed by Katy Perry? Was it designed by Lady GaGa while she was sleepwalking and having a nightmare about "California Gurls"?"

"I-"

"Suuuuuck."

"That is so immature-" but he was cut off again.

"What does that make you, Chick?"

Mater piped up again, "Ya, and yer fancy-dancy-hat-thingy!"

McQueen turned and began casually driving away. But he didn't even get ten feet before he turned back to face Chick. "Oh, by the way, you have a little bit of pink cotton candy stuck on your mustache."

Chick's mouth fell open.

McQueen turned back around and sped away in a noxious cloud of burnt rubber smoke and exhaust fumes. Mater loyally followed quickly after, leaving the green racer to find an oil rag to wipe the sticky mess off of his face. He ended up just wiping his face on the cupcake hat, and turned around to find that who but the media had seen the whole damn thing.

*Sombrero: Today in Spanish class, I learned that this is just how they say "hat".

Authors Note: Uuugh. That's finally done… its after eleven… blah. I'm so tired… well, no evil reviews please, and whoever reviews will get a free virtual barrel of neon pink cotton candy! Whoohoo! This is a oneshot (or whatever the heck a oneshot means) but it may be mentioned later on in another part of the collection… Cars 2 everybody! Woot woot! Lol goodnight, don't let the peanut butter bite!